Kind ask for feedback on concept, readability, storyline

[Madeleine]

Dear fellow readers & authors,

I am a self published author.
In an attempt to provide the best value to my readers, I would really appreciate if you would read my children's book and let me know your feedback on some of the items listed bellow:

- concept & storyline
- characters
- ease of understanding & wording
- educational value
- worksheets pages usefulness.
- anything you think is relevant and needs to be point out : illustrations, style

The content is available here : https://drive.google.com/open?id=1p3I...

I really appreciate you taking time to look over my book,

Warmest regards,
Madalina

[Beverly, former Miscellaneous Club host]

My impression: Either use a rhyme scheme or don't use one, don't mix rhyme with prose. The rhythm is erratic, and many words don't rhyme with the words they are supposed to rhyme with. It would probably be much better if you ditched the rhyme and wrote the story strictly in prose.
On the second page, second line you wrote:
"He was in charge when Dino's (sic) spread fear."
At first I was confused and wondered who "Dino" was. Then I realized you were using "Dino" as an abbreviation for "dinosaur." However, you used a possessive--dino's--instead of a plural--dinos. In addition, dinosaur should not have been shortened to "dino", and neither should it be capitalized. There are also numerous other grammatical errors throughout the story and the activity pages after the story.
As a children's librarian, I have read thousands of picture books. The illustrations in this book are very amateurish compared to that of most picture books published by a major publisher.
This is the sort of book that may be of help to parents, but is unlikely to be purchased for library collections, due to the didactic nature of the work and the poor illustrations.

[Madeleine]

Hi Beverly,

Thank you so much for the extensive input!

It is very important for me. I'll definitely do a professional editing of the book, as it seems my book currently falls short in this area!

Please, would you mind letting me know, what did you think of the concept and characters + lesson.

Did you understand what they stand for, do you find them relateable, useful, do you think the story line supports the intended lesson?

I'd really appreciate your input!

Many thanks,
Madalina

[Beverly, former Miscellaneous Club host]

I hope that you do realize that I am not a book editor. I am, however, a proud member of the Grammar Police. I am merely a reader, one who has read, as I already mentioned, thousands of picture books.
I don't have time right now, but later I will try to answer the other questions you posed above.

[Beverly, former Miscellaneous Club host]

Madeleine wrote: Please, would you mind letting me know, what did you think of the concept and characters + lesson.

The concept--helping young children recognize and control their emotions, is a good one. But it has been more elegantly depicted in
Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak, in which Max throws a temper tantrum, is sent to his room, and deals with his emotions with his imagined trip to the land of the wild things. The book teaches, without teaching, if you understand what I mean.
The characters in your book are cute, I just don't think they look very polished, art wise.

Did you understand what they stand for, do you find them relateable, useful, do you think the story line supports the intended lesson?

Yes, I understood what the characters stood for; I personally did not particularly relate to them, but children might; and I did think the story line supports the lesson; I just don't think it is very subtle; the story is very much "in your face."

Once again, I think that parents will find the follow up exercises useful to practice with their children. Just have your editor clean up the grammatical errors. (Or they could have been typos).

[Madeleine]

Hi Beverly,
Yes, I absolutely understand you are not an editor;

Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts! You are very generous, to follow up on this, it is greatly appreciated!

As you've read a lot of stories, I think you have a very informed opinion & it'll help me shape the next iteration for the better!

Warm regards and thank you again!
Madalina