Need Beta readers for 13k words excerpt of a novel about a man who meets his psychopathic creator and falls in love with Death

[Hanna]

I've been struggling with getting this story to move forward. I'd really appreciate some honest feedback about it.

Synopsis: James, the protagonist, dies and winds up in the after-world. It's far from what he expected.

Excerpt: James was in bed on a Saturday morning, awake but not wanting to open his eyes yet. Even if it was for just a minute longer, stolen sleep was more precious than regular sleep; it was a luxury rather than a necessity - a way to celebrate some fleeting freedom in a world of responsibilities.

A cool breeze caressed his face and he hugged the cover tighter, tucking his head under and feeling comfy. The bed hugged him back and it felt nice being sheltered like that, being cozy. After what was probably nothing more than a moment, he reluctantly opened his eyes and let the sunshine that filled the air around him in. Everything seemed so nice. So perfect. The beautiful sky, the cool breeze, birds singing. Expect that he was not in his room.

He pushed off the treacherous bed sheets. No only was he was not in his room, he was in no room at all. He was outdoor. Up ahead, a temple sat squarely in sight pretending to fit in and around it was a field of lush green grass that hissed in the wind. The temple walls were white and peppered with colorful gems embedded into the stone. Immense cylindrical pillars at least twenty meters high stood on each side of a doorway. The sound of birds and the mellow breeze added an enchanting sensation to the strangely peaceful ambience. And James was wearing a suit and tie to top it all up.

He rubbed his eyes, incredulous. There was no way that he would actually be seeing this, he thought.

Comment: Hey guys. I've been working on this novel for the past 3 years, constantly tinkering and changing things to the point where I think it's getting close to where I want it to be. The first five chapters are close to finding their final shape, barring some final editing. If you have time to go through these chapters I can return the favor as long as your work is not too gargantuan.

Drop me your mail in the comment and I can share the Google doc with you.

Thanks!