The First Bad Man - Chapters 1 - 7 (Feb 2019)

[Marc]

We'll use this thread to discuss chapters 1 thru 7.

First impressions of Cheryl?
What did you make of how Cheryl projects herself in her mind to others vs reality?
How did you react to the humor or the absurdities?

[Lia]

My first impression is that this is extremely familiar — exaggerated self-depreciation and anxiety made humorous is the staples of anonymous social media sites like 4chan. Except you usually see men doing that, but this is the female version.

It’s funny in an uncomfortable way, intuitively it seems indecent ... but this is a book, and I’m not encouraging a real human behind the computer screen to ruminate in extremely negative obsessive/ intrusive thoughts. (Which, I think, is a problem in social media. But this [book] is not social media ... wahhh I’m so confused.)

[Marc]

Cheryl kind of presents herself reminiscent of social media as if she's in a movie or being photographed. Initially, do you feel sorry or pity for her, do you find her at all relatable? She's certainly obsessive which adds a certain kind of intensity that's discomforting (like being around an animal that's anxious or extremely tense).

Interesting point about it being a book (and thus, not a real person)--how does that change the experience?

[Lia]

I’m still at Ch. 5, I basically don’t take it seriously — I am “conditioned” by the Internet to treat self-depracating narrators as non-literal, isn’t serious about her anxiety, she’s just exaggerating for laughs. So I don’t feel sorry for her, I just find it really funny.

If I were near an anxious person in the real, physical world, the emotional contagion would be overwhelming. It’s scary how my ability to empathize seems to evaporate with textual medium. I guess that’s how people are able to leave extremely toxic comments on news site.

That said, reports of apparently real tragedies devastate me, I am unemotional about novels like The Book Thief or Beloved, but One of Us had me crying so hard it hurts. I flinch when I’m physically near the book.

So it’s not just about textual medium ... maybe it’s this mental demarcation of fiction vs non-fiction ...

[Marc]

One of Us sounds devastating from what I've heard.

Even if you took it seriously, I don't think July's intention is to elicit pathos or pity.

[Peter]

I bought the audio book, and made it (almost) through the first three disks before I got completely tired of listening to the main character's thoughts and fantasies. I believe some people found it humorous, I just found it sad and self-serving. Almost at the end of the 3rd disk (which I believe ended with the end of chapter 6), I just realized that I had absolutely no desire to hear any more about any of these characters, so I stopped.

I tend to emphasize with the characters I read, and I have really never understood how some people read terribly depressing stories without the story making them (the reader) sad. It's like they somehow read differently than I do, without engaging their empathy.

Not all books are for all people. This one, does not appear to be for me.

[Lark]

I'm endeared toward Cheryl from the first sentence. Maybe because I don't think she is all that exaggerated!

[Jessica]

I listened to the audiobook and I have to admit it was difficult to finish, but I pushed through.

At first I found Cheryl's strange view of herself a bit humorous and endearing, but then it turned very delusional and out of touch with reality and it was difficult to sympathize with her. I wonder if July specifically wanted Cheryl to be an exaggerated version or a person with these anxiety or self image issues or could this be a real person? I am not sure.

[Marc]

But that's the thing, Cheryl doesn't feel sorry for herself, does she? She might be delusional but she certainly doesn't seem unhappy per se. At least that's how I read her.

She's awkward. It's almost like she's a manifestation of the insecurities and freakishness most people hide inside. Her naivete (or perhaps her freedom) is in not hiding most of it.

[Lia]

That’s a good question Marc, does she feel sorry for herself? The plot says she has this psychosomatic problem, she drifts in and out of depression, and she describes (jovially) about being victimized. That all seem to suggest she’s feeling sorry for herself.

But her voice is bizarrely optimistic to the point of delusional. I guess the non-sexual SM metaphor is apt — she’s an emotional masochist who enjoys being hurt but in a (maybe) non-sexual way. But hey, I run marathons, who am I to judge?

Clee and Phillip, and the therapist/ receptionist, and the people in her office are “different” as well ... they do awkward-weird things that only seem to happen in comedies; they don’t hide many things people in the “real” world would hide.

By “real world” I mean non-cyberspace. On the Internet where all filters are off, people do “freely” confess these things. (But then I’m just repeating myself at this point.)

[Hugh]

I have finally found time to start this - read the first short chapter on the bus this morning. Too early to say what I think...

[Hugh]

I read all of this section yesterday and it is certainly quite a journey of mixed feelings. At first it seemed very funny, and I loved Cheryl's narrative tone, but once we got into darker territory it made me rather uneasy, and made me question what July is trying to achieve. Will probably finish the second half tonight...

[Lark]

Hugh I loved the experience of reading the novel, and as I read both the story and the language felt perfect for what they did, but on the other hand it's so one-note that I'm having trouble thinking of things to say about it now, and also, I have no interest in reading it again.

It's like a firecracker of a book, one-use-only.

[Marc]

I was worried about it possibly being one-use-only for me, Lark, especially since I don't usually reread books, but I found it just as enjoyable upon second reading (it's been a couple years between reads so I didn't remember all the specifics but remembered all the characters and how/where the story goes). Of course, one only has the pleasure/pain of meeting Cheryl for the first time once...

[Patrick]

Hugh, I had the same thought about the progression from being amused to being concerned for Cheryl. I'm not a psychologist, but I would diagnose Cheryl as codependent.

[Kristina]

At the beginning, I thought the way how her story is told refreshing and I like it when female characters are described differently and maybe not rational or meeting any stereotypes.

The last two chapters focusing on her sexual fantasies, read tiring up to the point I do not care continue reading. I hope, the narrative changes again, because I quite liked the beginning of the book.

[Lia]

Kristina wrote: "At the beginning, I thought the way how her story is told refreshing and I like it when female characters are described differently and maybe not rational or meeting any stereotypes.

The last two..."

It was like that for me too, Kristina. I found the humor or narrative style excessive by the time I got to Ch. 6 or 7. I couldn’t read more than a chapter at a time. I stopped reading for a few days after Ch. 7, because I just wasn’t looking forward to more of the same.

But things really turned around for me somewhere around ch. 8 or 9, I read the rest of the book in one sitting. It also made me reconsider what I originally thought of as silly nonsensical humor.

I hope you’ll read on!

[Kristina]

Lia, good to hear that it turns around. I have continued reading and your words confirm my initial feeling for the second half and I plan to finish this book.

[Lia]

Yay 🍹 🎉 ! See you in the next thread!