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1x1 RP
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1x1 Kim and Shade RP (+Hush)
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Lexie
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Jun 21, 2019 04:05PM
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((Perfect move Shade!))Kim gave a slight jump when she felt something furry and warm touch her arm but a ghost of a smile soon crossed her lips and perhaps in that moment she might’ve even remind him of Hush. The purring sound was actually strangely comforting and slowly she reached her hand nearest him but it was shaking as if she was going to try and pet him but wasn’t certain. She had started trying to drive back towards her self thinking that maybe that wasn’t right, maybe he didn’t want to be Pet by her what if it bothered him?
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Shade turned to look and blinked his big eyes at Kim. When he saw her hand shaking and then she seemed to start to pull it away Shade mewled and rubbed his head against her palm, then moved to settle against her and laid down to curl up, continuing his purring. Truly, he actually did not mind when people touched him as an animal. It was just, different. And to some extent he was free from all the thoughts and terrors, everything just seemed to be that little bit simpler. His tail swished through the air and landed across Kim’s side.
Kim smiled a bit more now and without thinking she begin to stroke the beautiful cat form that Shade embodied. Hooking onto him. I really wasn’t Nazing the power an animal could have on a human, she had heard about hospitals bring animals they called healing animals. They just had this ability to comfort someone to bring them joy and peace. She was experiencing that fully now. “Thank you...” She whispered. Closing her eyes, tears were still wet on her face but her breathing finally begin to calm no fresh tears were forming.
Mod
((Aww! ))At first Kim slept quiet well. Perhaps the memory of the presence of this Lynx that Shade took the form of attributed to that. However an unknown amount of time later possibly hours her breathing became more rapid she twitched making occasional groans and whimpers. She thought she had beat the nightmares that would plague her only occasionally now, but instead they had been added to with the prior days events. Twisted and made even worse, if that was possible. Now it was the two big man walking her into the trunk the young man who originally attacked her in her youth driving. Intensified reenactments of everything she experienced both in the foster family and less than 24 hours ago. Perverting and growing worse. Sometimes it really was a curse to be a writer her mind seemed all the more detailed and creative when it came to her dreams well other people would say how they didn’t even remember their dreams most of the time. She pretty much always did.
Mod
Sleeping as close to Kim as he was and being a light sleeper Shade was inevitably disturbed and woken up by Kim’s twitching and whimpering. He raised his head and then mewled pitifully, rising. He wasn’t sure what to do. He moved and rubbed himself tight against Kim’s belly and chest, so she was practically hugging him and he even nuzzled her neck and cheek, trying to see if he could calm her within her sleep. It tended to work on Hush.
Kim went into that state one did, where they woke, but not fully. She grunted, and murmured gibberish. However she gave The sort of groan that one did when they were stretching and it wasn’t a bad sort of noise. She exhaled slowly, and fully wrapped her arms around the Lynx now. Pulling him close to her chest, sighing as she settled back into sleep. There was something soothing about the city breathing of the creature not to mention the warmth and soft feeling of the fur.
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Kim slept well the remainder of the evening or early morning depending on how many hours went by probably should have but eventually started to wake up and when she did her eyes open I’m selling shoes if used but not afraid at least because her dreams had not been so bad while she helped a large cat. Instead she was looking around like she was confused and disoriented and then she realize she was holding onto something and she moved her arms open and looked down and again was still a little more confused not registering that that was Shade in her arms. She was breathing fast but nowhere near on the hyperventilation levels that she had been earlier.
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Kim stared a few minutes longer and then laid back down slowly she didn’t go back asleep but she just looked at him and found her self smiling though she wasn’t sure fully why. However as she looked at him she begin to piece together that she indeed was in her bedroom, and said she had no pets and this one looked too exotic to be a normal house cat it must’ve been Shade. Now she started crying again but for a different reasons.
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Kim smiled at him, and this time didn’t even think that it was weird to pet him, she gently reached her hand out, stroking down the furry head, moving along the jaw and then scratching behind his ear. “Thank you Shade. I’m sorry...” was all she said, then a few moments later lowered her hand and looked down with embarrassment. She was... better, but still not great.
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Kim chuckled lightly. She understood his animal form just as good as if he was speaking in English. She always has this natural blonde between her and animals at least that’s how it seemed to her. She watched in amazement as he transformed never getting tired of seeing that. “I’m all right...” she spoke softly and honestly not that convincingly but she did wasn’t saying that she was fantastic she was OK, which was good considering everything that happened. He had helped her through possibly the worst of it but, she wasn’t sure about anything from here on. She couldn’t even consider moving on from this point in time going back to any sort of normal life.
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Kim’s face looked horrified as he asked. “Oh, I-I’m sorry.” She pursed her lips shamefully. “Yes, please... I’m so sorry...” She made Hush sleep alone! That was just wrong, the poor guy, he, he always slept with Shade. She even began to tear up, just thinking about it.
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Shade held up his hands placatingly to Kim. “Hey, no. It’s okay, it’s okay, really.” He tried to tell her. He hated seeing her tear up. “It’s alright... You don’t have to apologise or anything Kim, really.” He said to her. But he really needed to check on Hush. So he gave her a nod and opened the door and went to step out. Then he exclaimed in surprise and almost fell over though he managed to grab the doorframe just in time and he pulled himself back to safety.
Hush, lying in his blankets on the floor just outside the door, came awake with a start and looked up.
“Hush! Buddy, what are you doing? I almost stepped on you. And well, almost tripped over you.” Shade said. But he did not sound angry at all as he bent down to his little brother. Hush ducked his head apologetically but Shade just shook his head and dragged a hand through the boy’s hair, still mussed up from sleep. “What are you doing here?” He asked and glanced at the blankets but the answer was pretty obvious. “Couldn’t sleep out there on your own?” Hush pursed his lips and shook his head. “It’s okay buddy.” Shade told him then finally straightened up. “Sorry about that.”
((Yeah, but... well. Any ability to disguise her emotions right now is totally gone))Kim nodded and response and seemed at least to understand however, she really started crying now. Not making any noise, but she heard what was said and saw poor Hush, she decided that there was no way she was going to let that happen again he needed Shade! And instead of wanting to run her instinct now was just wanting to hide and go back to sleep. so she nestled into the blankets again hiding her face so no one can see that she was crying and hopefully just looking like she was sleeping. She had been a little bit hungry but that was gone she couldn’t possibly eaten anything no matter how much she wanted to or tried. Food sounded horrible to her. Hopefully the two guys would forget about her and focus on taking care of each other.
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Hiding under the blankets as she was now Kim couldn’t see that Shade and Hush were actually sharing a smile despite this solemn time. “Alright why don’t I rustle us all up some breakfast?” He called cheerily but then it faded as he glanced to Kim. “Kim? Would you like something to eat?” He asked gently. He knew she wasn’t asleep after all she was just awake. “You need some food in you. I know you might not feel like it but...”
((She’s not going to get over it easily. Gonna probably tale something drastic happening. Besides there is a bit of psychological trauma thats happening.))Kim shook her head. Then realize more than likely he couldn’t see her or understand what she was doing so she spoke up muffled by the covers around her. “I’m not hungry, thank you. I-I want to go back to sleep.” That was a good way to hide from the world right? Just sink into dreams forget everything. The best way to get away from it all.
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Shade pursed his lips worriedly and hesitated. "Oh, o-okay... Are you sure?" He asked softly. He wasn't so sure about this, he knew how hard it could be but she needed something. Sometimes trying to sleep wasn't the best solution. But he had Hush to take care of as well. He turned back to the boy. "I'll grab something for us buddy." He said to Hush and then ducked out of the room.
Hush looked to Kim, or rather the lump under the blankets that was Kim. And surprisingly, he approached her, then started to tap a part of the blanket, trying to get Kim's attention. It was such a little kid gesture but well it was all he could do.
“Yes... thank you.” Kim did a fake yawn that was surprisingly actually convincing because if anyone who’s done a fake yawn sometimes they end up making themselves do a real yawn. maybe if she slept for a week things would be better. Just sink into another world and not come up anytime soon. She closed her eyes and tried to drift off and slip away from the here and now however there was a tap on her head, which made her lift it causing the blanket to fall away she still had tears streaks on her cheeks almost dried. Along with a few fresh tears pooling up the corners of her eyes. “H-hush?” She whispered, with voice strained by emotion. ((sorry I’m off to bed.))
Mod
As Kim’s face emerged from the blankets Hush widened his eyes a little at the sight of her before he pursed his lips worriedly. He looked immensely concerned. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, but then he folded his arms firmly. However his expression remained worried, so the gesture looked a bit at odds with his face. But at least it helped to show that he wasn’t angry. And to quell Kim’s likely confusion, Hush then signed. ‘Why are you apologising?’
Kim looked at Hush as if a scolded child. She bit her lower lip, looking at him, and knowing sign language she of course understood. “I...” The words failed to come, or more accurately it felt like her brain was unable to give a proper response. Her eyes lowered, expression downcast. “You slept alone...” She answered softly. “S-shade should have been with you. N-not with me.” She couldn’t look at him. Shame, threatened to suffocate her.
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‘Of course you need people to help you after you have gone through something like that.’
Funnily, Hush raised his brows, in this moment seeming a lot older than he really was.
‘I knew you needed Shade. I wanted him to be there for you.’ He signed.
The boy took in a breath, and his head sunk a little into his shoulders. But still he looked her in the eye and signed.
‘Please don’t feel bad. You have helped us so much. It is all we can do.’
Kim indeed had been very surprised by the gesture, and though hesitant, she looked up at him. Seeing him act this way. Speak, or more accurately ‘sign’ those words. She teared up again, but nodded. “Thank... I’m still sorry. You two... have been through so much, it shouldn’t be all about me right now...” How ironic she said this to the person who chose mot to talk, as if for some reason it was easier for her to admit this thing that she couldn’t manage to say otherwise. “I want you two to be happy, safe, never have to worry again, it’s wrong that either of you have to worry and put up with me...”
Mod
‘If you say that, then that’s like saying I should be fine and Shade shouldn’t be helping me, because Shade went through a lot worse than me.’ Though one might think it was worse for Hush because he was so young it was truly debatable. Hush hadn’t been made to do many of the things Shade had though. Hush clenched his jaw and continued to sign.
‘Is that what you think?’
Since he pretty much knew she would say no he swiftly continued.
‘We help each other because we WANT to. Because it’s the right thing to do. Shade is helping YOU because he wants to. And I because I want to as well. What you are saying does not make sense. You have been trough something horrible, of COURSE you need people to help you. You are doing the same for us. Why will you not let us do it for you?’ Maybe that was the question that would get her.
Hush gave her a look and cocked his head. ‘So have you,’ he signed, meaning she too had been through a lot. He raised his brows. ‘And we want the same for you’. He signed to her in response to her last statement. Suddenly he averted his eyes and then seemed to hang his head. He signed, ‘We are the ones who feel bad.’
Kim stared, mesmerized by everything he was communicating to her. She didn’t know what to do or say, but the fact remains that each word hit it’s mark. “No...” of course was the response to her saying that Hush should ‘get over it’ or any such none sense. However as he went on she started to feel sick. “I...” why wouldn’t she let them? Let them help her? They wanted to, but she was... stopping them? Her brow furrowed in further confusion. They... they really wanted all of that for her. Yet, why was she so against letting them. “Cause you’re both going to leave...” she could hold the tears back no longer. “Anyone good leaves... only the bad stays... that I have to run from... but you both, will leave me. I can’t blame you or be selfish and try and stop, but...” her voice was shaking. “That why I know... I don’t deserve it, if I did... someone... someone would stay.” She was hearing the words for the first time, what summed up everything she said, did, felt? Abandonment issues. “My birth parents didn’t want me, the good parents I had were killed, then bad people wanted me... I-I’m not meant to have anyone...”
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Hush waited anxiously. He was at least glad that it seemed he'd managed to get through to her. But then at what she said he jerked in surprise. And his face creased in sorrow, for he realised, she was kind of right about that. He and Shade were planning to go home, weren't they? So they would be... leaving her. But... Hush sucked in a breath, an audible one, and shook his head desperately. Rapidly he signed. 'Just because we're going to leave doesn't mean you don't deserve our help. And we won't leave until you are okay. It does not mean we do not WANT to stay. With you.' Hesitantly, shakily, Hush rested his hand on the bed once again, as close as he would dare. He looked Kim in the eyes and then he signed. 'You deserve the best. Of COURSE you deserve it. And we are not leaving because you are bad. Because you don't deserve it.' He hesitated and then his face contorted, for he wasn't sure what else to communicate but more than anything, he didn't want Kim to feel this way. He instead tried to focus on something else, and he frowned determinedly.
'It is not your fault your parents were killed.' He signed, then pursed his lips. 'And it is not your fault your birth parents didn't keep you.' Then, he signed very slowly. 'Neither. Did. Mine.' He tilted his head, and though his hands shook he still signed determinedly. 'My parents left me too. Then bad people wanted me. Do I not deserve it either...? Do I not deserve Shade? Or you?' His lip quivered, but then he went on. 'I know I do! And I know you do! Who cares about the people who have left us? THEY are the ones who do not deserve US. I have Shade now, and he has shown he's not going to leave me.' He eyed her. 'You have us now. And you deserve all we can give. We deserve the good people in our lives.' Hush appeared to be trembling, as if the emotion was overwhelming him now as well. Tears finally broke their way through and trickled down his face.
((Oh jeez I did not expect all that to come out... XD Didn't think he was going to tell her about his parents already!))
((I know!))Kim a few times struggled to understand what he was saying due to how furiously she cried and difficult it became to see, but she did understand. These wounds in her were deep though, no conversation no matte how heartfelt would just ‘fix’ it. However, perhaps it helped tear down some of the walls and erase a few lies. Seeing him put himself in the same boat. How could anyone just abandon their child? She was lucky, she was given to am orphanage, well police station, but Hush...
“I’m sorry...” She put her hand near his on the bed, but didn’t touch it, afraid she would upset him. “Y-you’re right... but I still don’t feel that way... Maybe you two are the only people that think I’m worth anything...“ Sadly that phrase made her stiffen, her mind triggered a memory, the two men, Maxon and Xander. The talk about the money, what they were doing at that moment. She couldn’t breathe. Her eyes widened, she wasn’t even seeing Hush, or the room now. She was there, in that place, naked, pinned. Crying, crying in the present as well as the memory. She began to tremble, she was struggling to get a lung full of air. Her mouth was dry, the cuts on her chest, they stung.
((Aww, poor guy! Well Hush seems to get around her guard and Kim’s... mess, for lack of a better word reached his heart.))
((Didn’t expect this response... wow. Yeah PTS))
Mod
Until finally, Shade came to the rescue. He finally returned with Hush’s breakfast because he’d likely already taken too long conveniently and he strode into the room. “Hush? You coming for break-“ He broke off as he beheld both Hush and Kim crying. Not even caring Shade set Hush’s bowl of cereal on the floor and rushed forward. “Hey, what’s going on here?” His tone only held utter concern as he came up to Hush but also looked to Kim. He hugged Hush to him from behind and the boy lent into him and let himself go a little more, shuddering slightly as he cried. Shade tried to rub his back comfortingly, but he glanced up at Kim, his expression pained and worried for not only Hush but her as well. What had happened in the short time he hadn’t been here?
The longer she was like that the more Kim’s eyes filled with terror but there was also a distance to them, it was clear she wasn’t in the present. Sort of unfocused quality everything grew more ragged by the moment and unfortunately she wasn’t snapping out of this horrible reenactment replaying before her eyes and extremely slow motion in some ways it was worse than the actual thing that had transpired. Heightened attention able to notice every small detail smell sound and feeling. She was paralyzed head to foot and then like a snap, she was released from being still and vanished beneath her covers. Trembling violently. Strangely even though her body knew she was free at the same time it was like she was still experiencing at all.
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“Kim? Kim?” Good lord what could he do? He didn’t dare reach out to her or even touch a hand to the covers above her. He swallowed with difficulty and tried to speak. “Kim think about the good things! All the good things in your life. Think where you are now. You’re safe. You have us! Kim! I’m not going to leave you until you’re okay!”
Hush’s head jerked to Shade at those words but truly Shade had just said them in the moment, no prior knowledge of what they had just spoken about. Shade just wanted to Kim to think of the good that was the main thing that helped him when he became stuck in that place too.
Each time he said ‘Kim’ it was as if at the far end of a long tunnel. However each time it seem like she got a little bit closer to the origin of the noise the words becoming a bit more clear she was still breathing heavily and trembling which began to look around, she was seeing that warehouse or whatever that place was, but she was sure she was hearing the voice of Shade. “Shade?” She spoke out uncertainly muscle by the covers she sounded like a little lost child. “W-where are you?”
Mod
Those words are more powerful than Kim could ever vocalize. Instead of her begging him to stay he was begging her to stay. She began to cry more but the trembling stop significantly now it was just the shuddering from her weeping.“They won’t leave me alone...” Her voice was so quiet it was possible he wouldn’t Fully understand what she said. “Even ‘he’ is back, again... the trunk... the cutting and taring...” she was talking about two separate events but they were merging in her mind. She wasn’t fully away from that place but she was a little more distant sort of in between of the tunnel all the bad stuff on one end and the only good thing or more accurately persons on the other end.
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As soon as it may have seemed to some more an outside party it might’ve seemed crazy and Ludacris but as she heard their voices and their laughter their talents and the cruel words she did what he said. “Go away… Go. Away.“ She hesitated and it seemed just as bad as before. “Go away!“ She screamed it, so loud that more than likely their neighbors heard. However it helped, as she screamed the words that last time was as if something shock and like some phantom in the night the voices and people were gone, probably not permanently but it somehow had worked. Perhaps the outward action spoken in desperate faith and determination pushed away the nightmare. She painted for a moment begin to come fresh tears were no longer flowing. Though her face was still extremely sunburn red and soaked.
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Kim bit her lower lip, forcing herself to keep the response inside instead of outside. Not always... It became clear that she set up what she was still under the blankets. “I do want to just go back to sleep. OK?“ Her voice was hoarse and choked with emotion. “I can’t thank you both enough, but I’m not sure I’m ready to face the waking world right now. I definitely couldn’t eat… But I wouldn’t mind some thing cold to drink. Milk or water?” The milk would actually be a good idea because it would give her some sort of substance but she was probably also dehydrated so water was also a good idea.
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Kim lowered the blanket from covering her face still hugging it around her for the warmth, she didn’t have it in her to care right now. To care about that person. The only people could she could manage to care about right now we’re in this house. I just took too much energy for her to do anymore than that so despite how he reacted she just slowly laid down. Making herself more comfortable. Her tension shifted to that sort of zoned out look but at least it didn’t seem to be a very bad one. She was going into a sort of numb period. After all when one experience such intense and powerful emotions sometimes afterwards as it was as if you are capable of anymore, even your emotions were exhausted. And you just needed to rest.
Mod
Though he made sure to bring back Kim's glasses of milk and water - he'd decided to give her both - to her room and if she didn't give him any gesture or words for him to stay behind he would head back out to the living room and finally dial Spade on Kim's phone, putting it up to his ear as he listened to it ring.
Kim closed her eyes but when Shade returned she opened them and thanked him but it was very monotone sounding. It wasn’t insincere, but there was really no emotion to it. Then when he left she stared at the drinks for a bit but finally picked up the milk sipping on it for a long while whenever she finally finished that she would move onto the water.—
Spade Who hadn’t slept since this happened quickly answered the phone. “No news on my end, you?” Sounded anxious, probably pretty stressed as well. He had blamed himself after all. He never should have strayed from what he knew to be right, why had he let the girl convince him to leave her? He should have said he would be late to the call for another case he was on. too many logs in the fire...
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Spade was deadly silent It would almost sound like he might’ve hung up or got disconnected, but then he finally spoke his voice was quiet that it had been earlier. “Is she all right? What happened to her?” Since he didn’t know any information other than a little bit of evidence they found, there was no way for him to know anything beyond that.
