The Writing Desk discussion
1x1 RP
>
1x1 Kim and Shade RP (+Hush)
((Ab, sorry. I can give her a reason to stand?))Kim opened her eyes because she close them and looked over to him tilting her head slightly as she looked at him. “Uh... Hi.” She had a quizzical expression across her face. “What are you up to?“ There is something about the way his voice spoke that made her feel funny. She really couldn’t describe it but a small shiver crept up her spine however she force yourself to ignore it.
She then thought maybe she accidentally took his spot. Maybe he was laying down and resting and had just come back to lay back down. “Did you want the couch?“ She moved as of about to start getting up, she was a little bit slower because she felt sore and stiff now. Too much time laying around and doing very little. She had overdone it.
Mod
Shade smirked deviously at the question. "Well, just letting myself bask in the glory of a wonderful, beautiful woman it seems." He drawled. His smirk wasn't as sharp as what he'd used to do though, it was softer and more genuine. Because well, some part of this was in a way, genuine... He tilted his head at her. "One can lose themselves in the sapphires that are your eyes." He held up his hand as she asked if he wanted the couch. "Oh its up to you. You take the lead, mi hermosa..." (*my beautiful). He purred, letting the Spanish phrase roll of his tongue.
Kim flushed, wonderful and beautiful and woman three words in combination she had never thought of her self as. In many ways she still saw herself like a child though she didn’t openly tell everyone that she just genuinely felt that way. She was too stunned by his words to fully react to everything that had just come out of his mouth and then he was saying something else that was Equally astonishing.“Shade...” it wasn’t that no one had ever tried flirting with her if that’s what this actually was which she assumed. But, she was usually quick to leave instead this was in her own house with someone she actually knew not just some random guy approaching her. Her cheeks turned a deep pink color as he spoke about her eyes in such a way. “Her-hermosa?” She stuttered trying to figure out what that meant even though she didn’t know some Spanish that word was pretty unfamiliar to her. “Sh-Shade?”
She lifted her hand to brush the hair out of her face one of those subconscious things that one did without really thinking. She was just trying to find some manner of vocalizing a response but he had her completely thrown for a loop. He really thought those things about her? And what did that word mean? That way he said it his tone everything was different.
Mod
If Kim turned any more red and she might pass out from blood loss from the rest of her body. He just called her my beautiful His beautiful? She was about to say is name again but then him speaking that way out the use of his name and the way he was praising her her heart was pounding once again but now for a completely different reason. “I-I’m not...” she instinctively tried to scoot back but she was against the arm as it was, her left hand instinctively went to cover her chest as her heart rate was going so fast and her breathing is becoming a little more erratic.“Sh...” she hesitated to say is name and despite the fact that she had touched him many times and made him require his touch made her involuntary spasm. As if an electric current had emanated from him. “Shade, what are you doing?” She was confused, worried and honestly a little scared. She had never seen him act this way. And though that’s how she was acting on the outside she couldn’t help but onslaught of thoughts. He thinks I’m beautiful? Sapphire eyes... ‘Most wonderful person’ me?
Mod
At this moment poor Hush was coming out of the bathroom and down the hallway. He jumped as Shade raced past him, and then he lunged into the bathroom and slammed the door shut. Hush gasped and turned around, staring in confusion, concern, and fear.
Another series of beautiful words that had she not been so confused she might’ve smiled in fact maybe a little bit of a smile had started to curve at the corner of her mouth, however his next words perplexed her even more than the rest. “I want?” Despite her self, and the belief that he would never hurt her she flinched violently when he jumped up, whether it was logical or not she was expecting to get hit. Then he seemed distressed and instinctively she shifted from shielding her self to extending a hand slowly. “Shade?” Why could she not say anything else? It was like her brain was told and she didn’t have the ability that she normally has a rider to be able to weave these complicated statements, instead she was reduced to about five words in her vocabulary!
Then he was apologizing, shouting. She was paralyzed, poor Hush, she couldn’t even consider how he might be taking it, instead... she started to cry. she didn’t know what she did wrong, but everything inside of her told her, she did something wrong. She made no noises, her hand fell to her lap, she sat there, tears rolling down her cheeks. Her shoulders began to shake. Breath further erratic, and then as if in a trance. She stops up, walked to the front door and left. She didn’t take her phone, she didn’t lock it. She just left.
She moved slowly at first, then quickened her pace, began to speed walk, and then went into a full sprint. It wasn’t good she was doing that, because she still
Didn’t have her stamina, but she just ran, ran hard, until she reached one of the few places open, and somewhat quiet this time of night. A big cathedral, on shaky legs she went inside and took a seat at a pew in the back. She felt sick, the pain in her legs, her head. It was all making her nauseous and dizzy. She was pale, aside from her cheeks, red from running.
She wouldn’t call herself religious, but she did find peace in places like this. She did believe in God of course, but she wasn’t in a habit to pray really. Which sadly meant she drew little comfort in times like this. She pulled her knees to her chest and sat there, hiding in the darkest spot she could find.
((i’m sorry if this messes anything up but this is how she would genuinely react)) is
Mod
Hush was still staring at the door Shade had slammed shut, trembling slightly but mainly he was just worried about Shade, what had just happened. Unfortunately one of his thoughts was that Kim had done something to him, but by the time he turned towards her he could see her crying and shaking as well she almost looked like she was having a breakdown. He started to approach her, but then suddenly she was out the door. He hurried after her but she was already long gone down the stairs and Hush was too fearful to follow her.
He backed up and shut the door, not knowing what to do and now tears were sprouting in his eyes. But ultimately, Shade was his priority and so he hurried back to the bathroom door, finding it in him to pound on it now, a nonverbal call to his surrogate brother. Then came Shade's shout.
"Don't! Leave me alone!"
Hush flinched, though Shade sounded more distressed then angry. Now he really didn't know what to do. He lost strength in his legs and sank to the ground, ending up huddled against the opposite wall with his arms wrapped around his legs, staring at the bathroom door.
((Aww! Poor everyone! ;-; ))Kim though she would never admit it very willingly passed out. Is one of the things you shouldn’t do and some random place church or not. There were still things you just shouldn’t do, however the dizziness became too much and sometime later she was awoken by a young man wearing strange garments that she assumed were some sort of priestly thing. She was a little more familiar with Baptist churches back home. So Catholic was a big change.
She sat up intending to do so rapidly but she found she had quite a bit of difficulty doing it.
“ we have a place, where you can rest more properly there are others there so it can be a bit loud but it’s much more comfortable and warm. We have food as well.“
The man spoke softly and gently and she realize she must’ve assumed she was homeless, that did wonders for her insecurity, I imagine she look like someone who didn’t have access to bathrooms and whatever else her mind berated her with. “No, I’m alright...” why was she still panting? “I’m just not feeling very good.“ She answered honestly just not giving the reason. On the plus side she was in no health danger she had just pushed her self harder than she should have and was paying the penalty. “If it’s all right I’ll just sit here a bit longer and then… Go back home.“ She was afraid to do that, She ran… Like a coward. Ran off stupidly into the middle of the night and passed out somewhere. It’s a miracle she’s not dead right now… Or worse.
Mod
Shade was not in a good way. He'd started to throw up in the bathroom, retching over the toilet. Though he hadn't anything except for the tea so once that was gone it shifted to awful dry retching. He felt sick, and not just sick, disgusting. How had he... how could he have done that? It was like a switch had been turned on him, and he'd shifted into his prostitute ways. He hadn't even registered it was Kim he'd just... acted. It made him frightened and disgusted and horrified. At himself, not at Kim, for she had done nothing. But Kim's reaction, she'd been so weirded out... Good lord had he just damaged their friendship too? It was like it had been a flashback of everything, of his whole being. And he'd just been back there, and back to the shell of a person he'd had to be in those periods of time. He didn't know why, and it made him feel ashamed. Shade wretched again before sitting back, clutching his stomach and leaning against the wall where he just sat there, slumped, trying to catch his breath and swallow without gagging. What did he do...?
Meanwhile Hush remained in the hallway. The boy hadn't moved. His breathing came fast but deep and he was staring ahead as if dazed. His thoughts had been starting to race wondering what might have happened to Shade and eventually they'd just taken him back to that dark place, that terrible place. Eventually he gasped and buried his face against his knees, shoving them into his eyes almost enough to hurt, as if trying to squeeze the thoughts away, the movement and contact was supposed to help.
((Gosh none of them can handle their issues and it's so sad :( ))
((I know! ;-; they are all so damaged! Kim is going to hate herself too. Because she should’ve been there and hold her self together to be there for them, at least that’s what she’s going to tell herself))Innoway it had worked out good for Kim that she left because the young man ended up talking with her, about God and the teachings that have been being told lately at the church inviting her to come anytime telling her about confessional and communion and just about everything under the sun to the point where she actually relaxed quite a bit she had started breathing regularly and didn’t notice any pain or anything anymore.
He really was a kind soul, and before she knew it she was asking questions of random things she had heard before talking about how they would called them selves family and the body of Christ and just trying to understand these things helps shift her focus and made it where she could cope, of course she was still avoiding dealing with it so it didn’t fix anything but it helped her in the moment and said she had been on the verge of complete breakdown to the extreme that was good.
They talked for a long time before she finally said that she needed to go home, when he asked where she live she gave a sort of fake location and offered to pay for a taxi. She started to refuse but he insisted since it was so late at night and a young girl should not be ‘wandering around at this time of night‘. She finally agreed and before they parted company she had to look at him and say. “You know, I have to say God sure has brought lotta kind people into my life lately. Not sure why but, thanks to the both of you.“ It was awkward the way she said it but Her heart was in the right place. She got into the cabinet drove her home. It was probably getting close to midnight by this point. However shame I had her like a Tonna bricks the moment she started the excruciatingly long walk back to her apartment.
Mod
Shade was no better, though he'd stopped throwing up at least. He sat limply on the bathroom floor, head hanging. One never realised how long they could just sit there, letting their thoughts and doubts whirl around in their head. He was still trembling and his breath was also shaky.
((Sorry didn't have much to write until Kim gets back XD))
At last she reached the door, she had the strange thought that she should knock first even though this was her house. However she reached in her pocket for a key realizing she didn’t have one, and then reached for the door knob and presumably if it was still unlocked she would open it otherwise she would walk in slowly and tentatively head hung low and that sort of wearing this one had when they could hardly stay awake any longer. Even though she had passed out she was just exhausted deep down to her soul.((You’re fine! Kim’s not gonna know what to do...))
Mod
Kim might has well been stabbed in the heart with a rusty knife. When she looked up to see how Hush reacted, two thoughts came simultaneously. leave and closet Instead she walked forward, securing the door behind her. “H-hush?” Her throat hurt. “I’m sorry I left...” because in her mind that was the main thing she had done wrong despite feeling guilt her thing she didn’t fully understand. “I-is Sh-shade in, the B-bathroom?” Now she was stuttering? she mentally scolded herself, saying to ‘pull it together’ Her eyes began to tear up again, and she started to hug herself protectively. In truth two times Shade scared her. When he touched her, her mind had gone back to ‘that place’, and then when he jumped, she thought she was about to be hurt. She couldn’t deal, checked out and did like she did after the incident she had told Shade about. She ran and didn’t look back. She may be able to fight, but her initial instinct was always flight. Unless it was someone else in danger.
((Right back at you XD
And sadly last post for the night))
Mod
Shade turned around slowly, apprehensively, looking for all his worth like a wary animal. He’d pressed himself against the wall where he’d been, opposite the bathroom as Kim approached, half huddled into himself. As Kim followed him there and presumably made it as she apologised for leaving, after a long moment of hesitation Hush did indeed finally have it in him to sign, despite how much his hands were shaking. Why did you leave? If anything Hush has felt a little hurt. With Shade freaking out, he’d needed her...
But it was at that moment Shade burst from the bathroom and Hush jumped once again. Shade looked awful, but at least he seemed semi-okay. He glanced between Kim and Hush. Of course, he hadn’t even realised Kim had left. He stared at her for a moment before opening his mouth, uttering a couple of strange noises before he finally managed to speak. “Kim I-I’m sorry... I... I don’t know what came over me. I... just... Went into my... act...From... that place...” He shuddered and looked away, unable to meet her gaze. “And when I realised, I freaked.” He swallowed. “I don’t know why. I-I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry...”
Hush had stiffened and was staring at Shade with horror and shock, but also, a knowing type of pain. That was the one thing that had always been worse for Shade. He was forced to perform, in addition to... being violated. At least didn’t expect Hush to do anything except do as the client said, and let it happen. Shade had actually been expected to do more, to perform, to act like he wanted it. To not just give up his body, but his entire self.
((Ok these three are a mess))
((so I got a little confused is that first word actually supposed to be hush? Since that’s the one she was interacting with? Also it wasn’t just being touched it was the way he was touching her, after that one boy who tried to take it vantage of her and the multiple times people had when she lived in that one house and then getting locked in the trunk. Romance was something she was terrified of, which was funny because she could be a very physical person but someone flirting with her like he had just brought up that fear even though she knew he wouldn’t force her to do anything, it terrified her))
The tears came in earnest now. The way he asked/signed the question. “I...” was all she managed to get out before the other person from the bathroom, and again she give a violent jump. Whether they realize it or not actions like that actually cause the negative response from her. She didn’t do well with aggression and sudden movements. It really was funny that she was able to be a cop, she would always say that it was like a transformation happened when she put on the uniform and had a gun on her hip. She knew she had to be better and different she had behind that uniform it was a mask she slipped into a rule and was able to survive because of it but is soon as she was out of the police uniform she was a scared little girl who is just trying to get by.
Shade was apologizing, she was trembling. Stop. Calm down! Her body wasn’t listening, she hurt physically as well as emotionally. Going out and exhausting herself was not the smartest thing to do. And sadly and most types of confrontation she sort of checked out. Even her knees were growing weak. “I... I’m sorry.” She squeaked. She didn’t know what to say or do. She hugged her arms tightly trying to understand what she had done wrong even though he was the one apologizing. everything in her was telling her to run and hide, it may have not made any sense to anyone and other people probably would laugh at her or mark her. But it was her honest to God instinct of survival. It was something the preacher had said that even made her come back otherwise she probably would’ve stayed at that church all night.
Her throat ached as she tried to force some sort of noise out, her brain telling her. He’s the one who suffered. Stop this. Make him feel better. But She didn’t know how. “Sh-shade... you d-don’t have to ap-apologize...”
Mod
And ah ok I forgot about that so she was almost taken advantage of in that terrible foster home right?))
Shade gazed at Kim with some return. He felt it was his fault, that she seemed so freaked out. How had he been so stupid? He widened his eyes somewhat as he noticed Kim was trembling and at the way she hugged herself and tried to speak and now she was apologising. “Kim what? Why are you apologising? What’s wrong?” Shade’s voice was shaky and hesitant but at least he wasn’t stammering. He didn’t understand. “Kim?” Then she was saying he didn’t have to apologise and Shade frowned and exhaled. “Of course I do. It was... terrible. I... feel like a disgrace.” Shade felt his own shoulders slumped.
Hush just stared at the both of them, certainly not able to feel better himself while they were like this. But then he made his way over to Shade hesitantly, looking up at him, before very slowly brushing against him, almost like a cat, trying to bestow comfort. Shade turned his head and glanced at the younger boy and managed to form some semblance of a smile in response as he wrapped his arm around Hush.
((yeah the games of hide and seek and she always made sure that she wasn’t found by the one who would do horrible things but instead the one that would hurt her. But then there was the day that their son chose to take her out on a date and took her up to a place in his car and try to do something with her but she fought and nearly got away but he was stronger and a sports player so he ended up putting her in this trunk))Kim shook her head. No, Make things better... “ it’s not your fault, it’s that place. And those people… You shouldn’t feel bad, you both probably have poster medic stress and who knows what else, and truth you probably both need counseling and more understanding people around you but… It’s not your fault.“ She kept repeating the phrase as if it was the most important part of what she was saying.
“I should have known... said something sooner. I ran... I shouldn’t have... I should have helped... no, be a coward...” Her fault, it was her fault. She even made it worse, Hush was upset with her. “I’m sorry Hush...” She took a step back, feeling like she was intruding again. “I’m just, not as strong as you two...” That was it, that was the truth. She was too weak, selfish and weak.
Mod
Shade lifted his eyes back to Kim as she spoke, saying it wasn’t his fault but the fault of that place and those people, which he supposed was true, but... Didn’t mean he had to keep doing it here... Why would he even...? He shuddered inwardly. Though he seemed to widen his eyes slightly at the mention of post traumatic stress and counselling, as anyone might feel intimidated by that prospect. But there was something she said that brought him back to the present, enabled him to respond to her. “More understanding people? I don’t know about that... You seem to be one of the most understanding people I’ve met.” He said genuinely.
Then he stared as she continued to talk and started beating herself up. Though he was confused at half of it. “Ran? What do you mean?” Hush cast a glance at him but didn’t make any move to communicate what had happened to Shade, deciding to leave it up to Kim, almost as if it was a way for her to make up for what she had done. Not that he was angry at her, but, there might have been something there. At her last words though Shade frowned, then with a glance at Hush and a nod of permission from him, Shade pulled gently away from him and approached Kim though he made sure to still keep a healthy distance between them. “Who said we were strong?” He said to her quietly. “We’re all strong and we’re all weak sometimes. That’s what makes us human. I don’t think anyone is necessarily stronger or weaker than anyone else. Let alone you. Look at how much you’ve been through as well, how much you’ve done. The kindness in the heart and the fact that you can still have faith in the world. If you ask me, that’s a special kind of strength. Damn if only he had known her thoughts, he would have been horrified to know she thought she was selfish. He would have shouted the contrary from the rooftops, written it in the sky to convince her. Never selfish. How could the thought even enter her mind?
((It’s fine! So many characters with drama and background! XD))Kim couldn’t help it, she didn’t feel like she had a right to be upset or to let anything she thought overshadow someone else’s pain. “I left, I freaked out... I ran... I-I always run, a-always hide... right now... right now I want to run, to hide.” She shook as if freezing. “ i’m not strong. I’m never strong, it’s just a mask… Put on the uniform and I can fake it... can push through, but be myself...” as a police officer and as a waitress before uniforms. “A good actress... not a good person.” She felt naked, exposed... dirty.
“I should have stayed, but I was afraid... afraid I would make it worse... I always make things worse. Don’t know what to say, how to act... too emotional...” fresh tears came again. “Drama queen... spoiled and only thinking of myself.” Now the thoughts that would echo in her head were coming out her mouth. She really did still want to run. “Even now I should be focusing on YouTube, but instead we’re focusing on me. How selfish is that?!” At last she looked up at him, furious with herself.
Mod
Shade blinked as he stared at her and listened, his own turmoil now almost completely dashed as he watched Kim practically break down. He sucked in a breath at her words, the pain and emotion behind them. And she said 'he' needed counselling? The thought was not bitter in any way in fact it might have been an attempt at humour. Hesitantly he started forward, and found he wanted to... rest a hand on her shoulder, Try and offer comfort. Though part of him also recoiled at the thought. Damn it. Why was this so hard? He swallowed with some difficulty and tried to talk sense. "You didn't run from me when we first met." He said softly. "In fact, you ran towards me. Doesn't that mean something? You don't always run." He frowned. "Kim how can you for a second say you're not a good person? Look what you did, for me and Hush. You offered everything you had even when you barely had anything to give. There are very, very few good people who would do that."
Maybe it would hopefully be of help to Kim, that Hush looked at her and nodded to that as well. Shade continued, pursing his lips tightly as she spoke and then he responded. "Spoiled? Now that's ridiculous. How can you possibly be spoiled when you hardly even have enough to take care of yourself. When you care more for others than yourself?" He tried to reason to her. "You're not making any sense. These things you're saying aren't logical." Then his tone and his expression softened. "And wherever they're coming from, it's clearly from a place where you're struggling. And since when is it selfish to admit you're struggling. Besides I wouldn't say we're focusing on you, we're trying to discuss this through, for both of us. That's the only way we can get through this right...?" Good lord he didn't know what else to say, what to do. Truth was, he needed Kim as much as she needed them. It seemed one needed to manage to pull together when the other broke down. Otherwise they would both destroy themselves...
((Should be focusing on youtube? Yeah Kim priorities XD))
((ROTFL))Kim but the inside of her mouth, uncertainty rearing its ugly head every kind word and good word he tried to say seem to just hurt more than help. So it was still good he was saying them, it just wouldn’t be that easy to change what she believed about herself. Those insecurities were too deep set.
She kept looking at them and then that moment she really did seem like a little child who is uncertain of what to do she suede anxiously she wasn’t shaking anymore but she seem to not know what to do with her hands or her arms twisting a little bit at the hips as she stood there needing the movement in the motion.
Him saying it wasn’t logical did strike Accord with her though. Logic was important to her, it helped her survive through a lot of things. She was a logical person by nature. Much like her creator if it didn’t make sense frustrated her, which was so hard when someone’s beliefs didn’t make sense if they believe them so strongly it in result made them very frustrated people.
“I don’t know what to do...” she finally said her Armature no longer crossed but at her side and she seemed to have a nothing but a sense of resignation about her. “What you did you didn’t do on purpose, I’m sorry it happened and then it hurt you. Also sorry I ran and got afraid. But where does that leave any of it? I genuinely care about people but I don’t know how to deal with things... I need to sit down.“ She hadn’t noticed it as much she felt so hot right now. In truth her core temperature got overheated and she stayed in a heightened sense of emotion which kept her core temperature overheated so combined with her pushing her self harder than she should have she really needed to cool her self down.
Her face was flushed but her cheeks were still red, not truly like one was blushing but really red.
((Oh ky gosh! You two. That is one of the best typos LOL))
Mod
"But we can't dwell on feelings like that or we get nowhere so there's no point! I don't care how I feel I'm not going to wallow in my own misery!" He stopped his rant and drew back, taking a breath to try and steady and calm himself before his gaze shifted back to Kim. "And you should think about doing the same..." He grunted in acknowledgement as she said she needed to sit. "You should. You don't look too good you need to rest." He glanced between them. "In fact maybe we both need to sleep this all off. So, how about you take your bedroom and we'll take the living room." He suggested.
Kim shook her head. Not to disagree, but to shake away confusion and Because she didn’t know what to say. “Maybe you’re right, maybe everything will look better in the morning...” She stopped herself from apologizing again, then looked between the pair. “I... good night.” She moved to enter the bedroom and unless he stopped her she went in, she wasn’t capable, couldn’t process. She needed to rest, maybe then... and only then could she put some sort of response in place. However when she got to the room, tried to rest, she couldn’t sleep. God... what do I do? Putting her face in her hands she cried. It was a moment later she looked up, and spotted her laptop. When had she left it in here? Moving over to its case she pulled it out and turned it on. Then, She started to write. And in the end she wrote late into the evening. But in this she processed the things, most things and... at last to write what she wanted to say to Shade. She began to write what she typed. Making a letter for the pair, but primarily directed to Shade, and after that she at last could sleep.
But would she have the courage to give him the letter.
Mod
Shade let out a breath, relieved she didn't argue about who got what locations in the apartment. For he hadn't wanted to argue, and well perhaps he'd been scared to admit the real reason. He didn't feel he could be in a bedroom right now... "Good night." He murmured softly to Kim as she ducked into her room, hardly minding her abruptness for he felt almost just as strong of an urge to be alone to process through this now, and he guided Hush back out to the living area. The younger boy glanced up at him, seeming so curious and teary eyed. Shade's own eyes welled with tears as he beheld his look before giving Hush a hug. "I'm sorry. This is all... more than I realised."
Hush gave him a glare, though it was very mild. Shade huffed softly and gave the barest smile. "I'll try and be more careful... What do we always say? It'll be okay... Eventually. We just keep going towards that, yeah?" Hush looked doubtful and worried but eventually he gave a conceding nod. Shade returned it and then ushered Hush to the couch. "Come on, to bed buddy." He said softly. Once Hush was curled up and settled on the couch Shade took up the bundle of blankets on the rug on the floor. He honestly didn't care it wasn't a bed. Honestly that might have made it better. His thoughts were troubled and uneasy but regardless he still slipped into sleep fairly easy. Hush was the one who laid there awake and silently crying for an hour or so.
((Oh yeah! Good point, aww Hush! ;-; By the way, it was today or basically after she wakes up for the pretrial right?))
((If there wasn’t anything else you really wanted to happen first? I feel like things will still be awkward and he’ll have to stay. And since the judge is trying to rush this due to the big names of ‘business men’ and stuff.))
Mod
((Ah, good point. Let me know if this is alright.))Since Kim didn’t get to sleep until the sun was coming up she ended up sleeping way late into the afternoon. She lingered and hesitated to come out holding the ladder and sticking it inside her laptop as she closed it and put it aside. Then managing to come out but said she needed to run a few errands she wanted to stop by the café, talk with her boss and maybe swing by a grocery store just to grab a few small things.
She of course was polite and did them both good morning but she still felt like she just was uneasy in her own skin right now her thoughts clouded and heavy but she was still friendly and kind of course. She just didn’t know what to do to help get rid of this awkwardness.
So when she finally left she stop by the café and was pleased to hear that her job still waited for her. They insisted she take just a little bit longer. And even though was the largest paycheck it was still paycheck and come to find out some of her regulars were dropping off money GIFs of sorts and even asked other people who could to chip in so she was surprised with money given to her. She went to pick up a few things, ingredients and such. But came across a bakery and smiling went inside asking if they did any kind of special orders. She put in a request and gave her phone number and then made her way back to the apartment but got a call telling her that she needed to show up right now early for a trial so when she got back into the apartment aside from looking a little tired she smiled. “I’ve been summoned for the pre-trial. The detective told me but if they can keep the pressure on him with a conveniently placed leaked to the media it’ll help push the trial faster we can get it going sooner rather than later.“ She would then start putting up the things she bought, and Having not eaten look to make her something easy for dinner.
Mod
He ended up falling asleep at some point though not long before Kim returned so when she returned and spoke about being summoned Shade woke with a start, scrambling to sit up where he was on the couch. “What? The pre-trial? Already?!” He sat up straighter and more alert. “Tomorrow?” He clarified since that’s what he assumed. He then looked surprised at what else she said. “Wait a... leak to the media? What does that mean?” He asked. “The media is going to hear about it?” He asked, not exactly nervous but, maybe a little ill at ease about it. Hush glanced to Kim as she returned and then cast a look at Shade, but did nothing, looking tiny and reserved where he was on the couch.
Kim nodded, as she finish putting things away as wellAs getting out a bowl and pouring cereal.That’s right, the plan was to make sure this moved quickly and didn’t take years to take justice. So we can get to the media and getting these people exposed to purposely push it to trial quickly. People are going to be in a complete uproar when I hear what’s been happening to children. It may be a lot of people out there who don’t care or are indifferent, but sometimes when you get something on the news and see pictures of the criminals and hear about the victims it changes peoples hearts and then they want to fight. I have to be there since I was ‘attacked’...” that was how it originally was stated which to some extent might’ve been true but she did most of the attacking or in this case rescuing. “I need to be there about 6am...” She yawned at the thought of it. Once things are fixed their going home... Shade is kind, but those things he said... it was that place... he didn’t mean any of it...
Mod
Shade listened thoughtfully as Kim spoke, and though the prospect of media coverage of this was undeniably a little intimidating, he couldn’t help but agree it would be good for the case right? And she was right, justice needed to be served as quickly as possible. “Right.” He said softly before lifting his gaze to meet Kim’s again. “Kim uh, thank you again, for all this.” He said to her. He nodded as she told him what time she had to be there. “Wake us up, we’ll see you off.” He told her. He got up from the couch and made his way over, frowning as she noticed she seemed to be pouring cereal. “Are you sure not wanting something a bit better than cereal for dinner?” He asked her.
((Lol, well she has to ‘be there’ at 6a, but it won’t start at 6a, they have to prep and stuff))Kim smiled, but maybe a bit uneasily. “My pleasure, I just want to make sure we can get this thing where justice is served.” When he approached she did her best to scene casual and nonchalant. “Actually I have an eaten yet today and I don’t think I can do anything big or heavy also still not feeling very good sleeping all messed up… Maybe I’m a little nervous about tomorrow so I’m gonna turn in early. Is it OK if I take the bedroom again?“ She looked up at him as she start pouring the milk slowly.
Mod
Kim chuckled, but it did indeed feel awkward. There seemed to be an invisible tension in the air. A tightness in her chest that restricted her breathing. However perhaps it was convenient she ended up letting out a soft yawn, Her eyes watering from the tiredness she indeed felt. She really needed to get her stamina back to where it was supposed to be. “Good night I think I’m about ready to pass out already.” She picked up her bowl of cereal intending to devour it pretty quickly and go to sleep.
Mod
Kim gave us sort of awkward way that she cradled her cereal bowl trying to be careful not to spill too much milk that she got a little bit on her arm and she did that while going to open the bedroom door and closing it behind her. She let out a deep breath and leaned against the door still holding the cereal, guilt once again assaulting her a sense that she needed to do something but didn’t know what. It was one of the worst things in the world she thought, to know that you needed to do something do not know what it was or how.Despite all the emotional turmoil stirring within her she did manage to go to sleep fairly quickly. Leaving her cereal bowl on the floor next to her telling her self she would get it in the morning. But apparently the exhaustion mixed with the emotions and anxiety over the next day made her sleep through her alarm. So it didn’t help that she somehow had turn the volume down the house so the alarm wasn’t exactly very loud so is 5:30 AM when she fully woke up freaked out grabbed her laptop and shoved it into her case. Scooped up the cereal bowl hurried out into the dining room trying to be quiet and not look like a panicking animal pebble in the sink forgetting to fill it with water and a brush through her hair and if anyone is awake she would number something about seeing them later and hurrying out the door.
And so much of a rush wishy she didn’t realize the letter she had written that have the name
Shade intricately drawn on the folded piece of paper because she decided to start doodling and made it look really fancy. Lay on the floor in the bedroom his name pointing up I would be very easy to find.
((when he finds the letter I’ll post what it said))
Mod
The next morning the sound of Kim’s rushing likely awoke the boys or at the very least they probably would have woken up to the sound of the tap as she rinsed her cereal bowl, since that always tends to be really loud when it is otherwise silent. Shade blinked and then stared as Kim practically rushed mumbling a quick goodbye and mentioned she’d see them later. “Uh bye, good luck!” Shade tried to call if he managed in time. Then Kim was gone. He exchanged a glance with Hush before sighing and getting up. Neither of them could go back to sleep now despite the fact that it was quite early. He prepared a little breakfast for himself and Hush.
Later, Shade decided he could try and clean things up around here, he felt he should at least do something for Kim after all. After doing the dishes that had piled up in the sink and making sure everything was put away neatly he wandered into the bathroom. With some hesitance, he found himself also going into Kim’s bedroom though he wasn’t sure he should. After a quick check he was about to leave, but then he spotted the paper on the desk, and a second later his name scrubbed upon it. Jerking as he read it, Shade frowned and went to pick it up, unfolding the paper slowly and starting to read.
((I’m going with it anyway but I’m so confused I thought Kim typed up the letter but she took her laptop? ah never mind XD))
((Lol, it was but then she decided to hand write it out but she had stuck it in her laptop as it close but those things are not fully sealed and she didn’t put it all away and it slid right out. and that’s why I said it was a letter she wasn’t sure she would ever deliver LOL more than likely that I was tired when I wrote it and didn’t write it very well))As he folded letter open inside written in cursive handwriting was the following.
You feel dirty, tainted, you say that they took something from you.
I can never understand your pain, the violation, assault on your heart, spirit, identity…
But I do know this, they can’t have you. You survived, you are free and never truly were theirs. You are so strong, your love of Hush, and amazing heart… it inspires me.
I wish I could hug you, show you a good healthy physical touch. You deserve the love and compassion of everyone you meet.
One day you can, it’s still so soon, but one day you will be able to. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are not tainted, they are not strong enough to taint you.
You are you, you control your destiny. There is nothing sick, tainted, or disgusting about you. You are amazing, pure and wonderful. You are my friend, you and Hush deserve the best. I don’t have the courage to say how much you two mean to me, how in such a short time I realized not only how lonely I have been but how much I’m going to miss both of you when it comes time for you to go home. I’m not going to be selfish, I want both of you to have the best and happiest lives. God knows you deserve it!
One day both of you are going to be able to go back, you may never be able to be the people you once were. However you will be able to be better because of it, stronger, more capable of helping others who are struggling because of what you’ve been through. The hurt they caused you, will be your weapon. Your tool to heal others.
I don’t know if this even makes any sense, hopefully my heart carries through. And the two of you understand how much I love you…
Kim
Mod
Shade started to read through the letter, frowning at first. But then very quickly he was widened his eyes and scrabbling with his hand to find the desk chair and then he practically fell into it, shaking as he took in the words of the letter. The words, it meant so much. Shade's breath caught and he swore he could feel a pain in his chest, but a good sort of pain if that was even possible. Tears formed in his eyes as he read on. Oh Kim at it again with the selfishness... Stop. He couldn't help thinking as he read that part but he exhaled softly to himself in what might have been amusement. He sucked in a breath as he finished the letter, an ache in his heart. Those last words lingered. How much I love you... Shade hardly knew what to feel, let alone say. But it was nothing bad, really, it was just an overwhelming good that he couldn't describe, could barely even comprehend.
He inhaled a shaky breath before ducking out of the room and taking the letter with him but then he was looking about uncertainly, realising of course, Kim was long gone. He glanced at the letter again. What did he say to her...? After this. What could he say? He could barely believe it. Kim you... you beautiful soul... And there she was saying they deserved the best. Oh she did just as much, if not more. He had to tell her when she returned. He didn't know if she'd meant for him to see the letter but he didn't care, he wanted her to know, needed her to know. Hush eventually made his way over driven by his curiosity and Shade showed him the letter. Then for the rest of the day Shade paced about the place, thinking, trying to recite what he would say in response to Kim, discussing it through with Hush, rereading the letter. Good lord how could he return something as beautiful as that. He was poised for her to walk in the door at any moment, he wanted so badly to thank her. Maybe... He even had the faint urge to hug her. He just... needed to see her now! But he also felt like he would freeze the second she came through that door. Come on, come on, come on... Why did this have to be so complicated?!
((Oh my gosh that letter is seriously the most beautiful thing!))
The day went on and a hectic blur for Kim and he thought of the letter she wrote almost 2 days prior was long gone. She was prepped, asked 1 billion questions, made to rehearse time and again and again and again. When that last gave her break she pulled out her laptop and begin writing. She didn’t even notice the letter was missing because at this point her mind is so overwhelmed she was just trying to do something to get the fullness of her brain to feel a little bit less stuffed.She did what she like to do as free writing it let one right about whatever it was they were feeling passion about at that time. And then it came time for the pre-trial it was getting exciting to most people because of the media showing up but she could care less she just insisted on making it through this. She gave her testimony of what happened telling the complete truth but not giving the name of the person she helped save.
Of course it went smoothly enough because there was so much damning evidence, the real trial date was actually set for next month. She was so relieved when she was no longer at the podium show she had actually began shaking when she step down the residual effect of how nervous she had been. She sat in the main hall Catching her breath before deciding to just hurry home now. The tact of surge he didn’t need her anymore and had asked her to wait she was just leaving to get home. She knew he was going to go over everything that happened today but he didn’t actually have to have her.
Of course it was naïve of her to think she could just walk out the front doors or more accurately the side doors because she typically didn’t use front entrances when she could avoid it. It was only one reporter at first but then several of them were shouting and she was surrounded and like a deer in the headlights she stood there as they all started talking at once.
It was at that moment one of them picked a lull and the noise to shout a more clear question. “Why are you doing this? These people have a reputation, families, are you set to destroy them?” Kim was overwhelmed with anger. The statement was ridiculous. “I think the better question is why are you asking such a stupid question?” She snapped. “Who cares of these people have reputations and families there being judged by their actions, they’re taking children off the street boys and girls from all over and making them do unspeakable and horrible things. Ignoring the God-given right of dignity and free will and forcing them into brothels, making them perform ask and do things that are unspeakable let alone for a child. These people are cowards and monsters, looking on children with lust and satisfying it by purchasing evenings with prisoners. It’s against the law of God and man, who Actually choose to be on the side of these people?”
At this point tears were coming down her face and a lot of the clamor was actually getting quiet she didn’t even recognize the cameras pointed at her let alone the microphones she was just focused on the one person who directed her such a ridiculous question. Little did she know that was actually a reporter tactic to get someone to have an outburst. Boy did it work. “ there are people who now have suffered such unspeakable horrible acts. you haven’t seen how damaging this is been to these people. Children that can’t even speak because of what was done to them, people that were there for years. Who grew up there practically. People who Heather I didn’t do use a salted forced to play games and role-play and whatever the sick monsters desired. Fear of punishments... they are treated like property. No value to them as a human soul. There’s anything that should be fought for and fought against in any country in place in the world it would be something like this. If any of you have even the smallest glimmer of human decency it’s more than these people have had. And all of you should be screaming from the rooftops for just us to be done to make sure that places like this get shut down quickly and no more can pop up in their place. This is a war, what side are you on?!”
The reporter started clamoring you currently asking more questions trying to get information off the same time about the case and different names and when she had personally seen and fortunately about that time Spade showed up, pulled her inside. “No more questions.” When he got her inside he gave her a look and was about to say what was she doing but then he could see that she was trembling violently and she was hardly able to stand so he hurried her over to his seat and waited for her to come before asking. “Are you speaking to the media?“
Kim was finally able to catch her shaky breath. “I didn’t… I wasn’t planning on it.“ She could barely talk her throat hurt from the forcefulness of the way she spoke it was apparently she had strained her voice.
Spade actually chuckled. “Could’ve fooled me. I didn’t hear all of it but sounds like we should let you talk to the media sooner.“ He offered her small smile though he was honestly worried, she wasn’t supposed to become the figurehead of this case. “Let me take you home.“
Kim didn’t answer for a long moment. “Actually can you take me to a store? I can walk home from there it’s not far.“ She noticed the look of reluctance and shook her head. “It’s fine, I’m better now. I just need to run some errands.“
With reluctance he agreed and took her to the store though he stayed intending to take her to all of her errands and home I got a call so he texted Kim insisting she didn’t go straight home and then stay out too much longer. She agreed and with one last look around and heavy sigh he hurried off, his job was calling. Not for this case, But for another urgent one he was working on. No rest for the weary.
Kim search the entire store twice before she found what she was looking for. She had search on her phone for ways of making the ingredients to the dishes that she did I told her about the home meals that he missed in the way that they made it. But specifically this dessert or props it wasn’t really a dessert but it was a baked food it would be in a bakery because that’s where she went next. The small little bakery Tucktaway sort of in the middle of nowhere had done a custom order for her. And it looked just like it did in all the pictures so she hoped it was right and that when he tasted it he thought of Home. She intended that he would be there soon. So with her three or four grocery bags in hand she made her way to home which wasn’t too far away now, though significantly further than work. However the walk would do her some good with all the anxious and nervous energy she was feeling.
Glancing into the bag a few times ticking off a list in her head, Hoping she didn’t forget anything that he liked the dish the professionals made because what she attempted to make the rest may not go over so well. Her creator. Hoping she didn’t forget anything that he liked the dish the professionals made because what she attempted to make the rest may not go over so well. Her creator.Forgot the dishes that he named but the ingredients for them would be in there. As well as the one culturally consistent item already made and baked possibly a dessert?
((Aww Thank you! That means so much! Like me it’s easier for Kim to express heartfelt feelings in written form. Also forgive me I wrote this early in the morning without my glasses on I tried my best though and I did use talk to text LOL))
Mod
And you did an amazing job. There was just one sentence I was confused on but honestly not a big deal, something about salt? XD It was after Kim refers to Hush when she talks about kids who can’t speak because of what was done to them.
Did you want me to tell you the names of some of those dishes Shade mentioned? ;)
Also so sorry I’ll reply in the morning I’m a bit tired and not sure what to post here plus m forcing myself to get up early-ish tomorrow in prep for Thursday so yeah I’ll reply tomorrow.))
Shade's head shot up as he heard Kim enter the apartment. He looked over his shoulder and watched the woman head over to the couch. Ah so he was to come to her was he? Slowly, Shade turned off the water and dried his hands with the towel. He exhaled and ran a hand through his hair, fixed his shirt, and then he straightened and prowled his way over to the couch. As he came into view of Kim, he smiled and dipped his head to her. "Well hello." His voice sounded different too. Slow, deliberate and... sultry. For he needed to put on a show, otherwise he would be punished. As bad as this was, the punishment was always worse than this. And one should pick wisely. When he had so few choices already, at least there was that. Not that it made any better. But he could not think about that. He could think only about his act. For now, all he was, was what she wanted. Some customers liked this sort of foreplay. They came in, as if completely unaware. And he, their faithful, well whatever they thought, partner, or pet maybe, came to greet them and then let them have what they wanted.