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Watcha Doin' - 2019
message 1501:
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Janice, Moderator
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Jul 16, 2019 07:01PM
Will they reconsider if your wife goes over the assessment with them to point out her omissions?
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Janice wrote: "Will they reconsider if your wife goes over the assessment with them to point out her omissions?"They're supposed to yes
My neighbors niece is a severe heroin addict. They've been to several facilities. She never fits the criteria to get in. It's like. Heroin addict. Rehab center. What other criteria do you need.Not blaming the facilities so much as I'm really seeing how flawed the entire system is. It's all very eye opening
Oh and for the other situation my wife asked could they take her for a week and work with her. Because you'd have to be around her to notice what she does and for her to get comfortable to open up. My wife said take her a week and reassess and if after a week you feel the same then we can't argue with you. I don't know what will work but my wife is in the healthcare field so if there's any tricks to things she probably knows what to try
My wife got a strange call from the in laws. They have looked over the website for the treatment facility and they see pictures of zen gardens and I can't remember what all else there was. Things of other religions anyway. They said we've discussed this and this will not help her. They say they help the person find themselves. She doesn't need to find herself she needs to go to a strictly Christian retreat to be sure to stay on the path of Christ .Lady the facility will respect whatever your religion is. Why are you threatened from being around other religions. We're respectful of all religions and beliefs over here so if she was to reject Christianity as she finds herself that is her choice. Stop value plastering already.
A lot of the issues are all tied in to religion. Her husband tried to separate before and in swooped the church and his family telling them they took vows before God and they must uphold them.
I've been telling them for years religion shouldn't be a constant struggle. It should help give you strength. I also told them if their values aren't matching up with that of the church they can go to a different church, they could switch to a different denomination. They could turn their back on Christianity. Basically you can do whatever you want to do you're 30 years old your parents can't just tell you what your faith is going to be unless you let them. But the Bible says honor your parents or whatever so even that is a struggle for them.
We always knew religion was woven in to all of this we never understood how. Things keep getting clearer all the time on that front.
I think it's funny his mother says that because I knew the in laws church has 2 therapists who practice Christian based therapy. I told them would it help if she went and stayed with your parents for a while and met with the church therapists. It wasn't the path they pursued
Idk it's all so complicated. I don't have the answers. Just someone let the girl find herself whatever that means
On a side note about 3 weeks ago I knew people who went to the church the husband grew up in. I asked him to explain the churches views on some things. He did and it ended with him inviting my wife and I over to work on our problems or he could contact a pastor or therapist whatever we need. Thanks for the offer but I am trying to help some people and needed some background. I'm good for now
I then went back and shared the information stating that as long as these values are important to her and her husband we had to try to respect that . Which is why we've repeatedly said they have to find what's important to them.
Just funny that I'm over here trying to respect their beliefs and the mother is like oh my God she might drink tea with a Buddhist and be corrupted. Lol
That is all so sad, Travis. It sounds like she has a few things to work through besides just her mental health. It certainly makes it harder for her to get better when other people are continuously presenting her with additional challenges. I hope she finds a way to make her religion a source of strength for her instead of a hurdle to get past.
Annerlee wrote: "Hi people. Thought I'd drop in as I've not been around for a few weeks. It's been a bit of a difficult for me. I've just left my husband and am staying at the local women's refuge. Theres been a lo..."Annerlee, I am very glad you are safe. Good on you for deciding enough is enough, and you had to remove yourself. I had noticed you'd been a bit quiet lately, but very understandable with this and the refuge. I'm glad you had a space like that to go to.
Sorry to hear that your husband has had those issues, but sounds like he's getting the care he needs now, and you have some space to work out yours, and the puppers, life.
It must be hard to go through this kind of thing in such a remote place with limited resources. Let us know if you need anything, or just check in and let us know you are trundling along okay. Enjoy that peace :)
Oh Travis, that sounds incredibly complicated. Coming from a Christian background, I can appreciate how people get sucked into a vacuum of thinking everything has to be done with religion. But sounds like she just needs treatment and care, and she can compliment that with prayer and meditation and reading the Bible, etc. But the most important thing is the medical treatment.Good on your wife for using her knowledge of the system to try and get her into some facilities. Fingers crossed you all get some results.
My wife asked how I'm such a wealth of knowledge and advice all of a sudden. Easy. O share many of the same flaws and admit it because I've never been concerned with being perfect. Basically give advice and make a note to myself I need to do the same. It's almost like I'm just talking to myself. Turns out in 10 years of marriage I haven't been ignoring you I've absorbed everything like a sponge. Now I'm able to pull all that knowledge out and not only use it for advice but some of it I've finally figured out how to do in my own life. My marriage is probably the healthiest it's ever been. Like a big circle of group therapy going on
That's true Rusalka. I don't think they need to leave Christianity I do think they need to follow it because it's what they believe and not just what they've had hammered in. They were both so censored. Tv, radio, and books everything had to basically be approved now in the real world where nothing is censored and it all became sensory overload I think. Just 2 very confused people. Don't censor your kids and let them think for yourself.I do think they may need to find a less conservative church. They are super conservative to where I see so many issues. When you have problems with gay and transgender people because it goes against God to me it's not fair to judge those people in that way. Everybody's people .
Or like the neighbor texted her asked if she's doing ok. She told her husband. He called his parents said he's having marital problems his wife is being unfaithful to him.. dude a guy can be friends with your wife and ask if she's ok. Try some trust. I can't say the neighbors intentions maybe he shouldn't be trusted but your wife is not going to have an affair. There is just no way she would ever do that. And then the text has become known as when you had your affair. For Pete's sake. It wasn't an affair. If that's an affair then my wife and I have probably had 1000's of affairs then. I mean I just sent my sister in law flowers this morning because I thought it would be a nice gesture and she has been in the thick of all of this and it takes its toll on people. I also call and check up on her. In no way do I see myself having an affair because I care.
Rusalka wrote: "It must be hard to go through this kind of thing in such a remote place with limited resources. Let us know if you need anything, or just check in and let us know you are trundling along okay. Enjoy that peace :) "Thanks for the top up hugs : )
My husband arrived home today and is wanting to stay in touch. He's all promises, so I've got myself all wound up and confused again. This is such emotional hard work.
I am visiting a friend at the weekend - on another island - so I hope to talk things through and untangle myself a bit.
Going to do lots of cooking (and freezing) tonight as therapy. Might snuggle up with a book after that ; ) And light some scented candles...
Travis - I can feel your frustration. Hugs to you too.
Well the good news is they managed to get her into the program. The bad news is she had a panic attack on the way to the program and had to go to the ER and get doped up and a psych evaluation. When she gets a panic attack it freezes her. Can't move her arms or legs. Literally Frozen in fear. On the bright side I think the facility is much more believing now that her issues are more than the assessment showed.I guess if they can get her actually to the facility tomorrow we may be able to move forward. They don't have a free bed until Monday or Tuesday so she has to be driven to start off here.
My wife was a bit worked up over it all I actually feel this panic attack was the best thing that could have happened
Glad to hear you have friends around you Annerlee for support. Sounds like good timing for a visit. Stay strong.That is good news Travis!
Anneerlee, I hope all works out well. Thinking of you.As today marks the 50th anniversary of the moon landing Pete is going to a special event to mark it. The town I live in has a castle that has a history of astronomy and contains the structural remains of what was once the biggest telescope in the world. Tonight they are showing the moon footage at 21.17 bmt, the actual time it happened, projected against the wall of the telescope base. It should be amazing!
I can't go as it is the middle of the castle park and with all the recent rain there is no way it will be wheelchair accessible - and there is a barbeque :-( I hope the rain stays off!
That's too bad that you can't go to the celebration and event, Margo. It sounds like it will be pretty spectacular.
It was! Pete came home raving about telescope lenses. And they got a tour of the Lo-far radio telescope that is housed at the castle as well. I probably would have been bored in the middle of a bunch of telescope nuts anyway ;-p
I'm glad Pete had fun!We have some hot weather coming our way. 38C on Wednesday and Thursday! The highest temperature ever measured in our province was 38.4.
It's like this summer either is rainy, grey and cold, or way too hot. Whatever happened to a nice 24C with blue skies, a few clouds, and a little breeze?
Poor Rob, he has to do physical work in a building with no airconditioning where the inside temp is 5-10 degrees higher than outside. I keep saying that it's only a matter of time until someone passes out there..
We had a super busy weekend. On Friday we had the wedding of Rob's brother. It's a 2-hour drive from us (2.5 including picking up Rob's parents) which is considered very long and very far in our tiny country. Then there was the ceremony, reception and very long dinner, all the time socializing with people and never really having a moment for yourself (which I always find very intense). Arrived at our hotel around 11.30pm, showered and slept and in the morning breakfast with the groom and groom. Arrived at Rob's parents' place again 3.30 pm on Saturday, and around 4.15 we were at his best friend's place for the bbq he and Rob always organize for their birthday which is only 3 days apart. Prepared for that, had friends over for the bbq, was in bed around 2.15 am. We stayed at Rob's parents' house. Then this morning back to the friend to clean up, and it turned out he wants to have the grill of his bbq as clean as if it was new. He cut his finger yesterday and had to go to the ER, so Rob and I spent 2 hours cleaning the stupid thing. Finally got home at 3pm today, and now I'm in the garden, Rob is watching tv, and we're both enjoying our peace and quiet!
Oh, that must have been hell for him Peggy! A bit like working in a sauna. It is 18C here today so a bit too cool, and very wet!We're having visitors for the 2 days so the house will be very full and if th8s rain doesn't stop there will be nothing for them to do 😬
I'm happy with 25C. Anything warmer than that, and I'm toast. I can't imagine trying to work at 38C. Sounds like the wedding was eventful and fun, Peggy. Well, all but cleaning the grill.
We have a friend moving from Darwin into our granny flat soon. Found out on the weekend it was 2 weeks earlier, and they are arriving on Thurs. We went into overdrive, but we're still behind, so I took today (and Friday off) as i haven't had a day off in over 6 months and the circus is being run by the monkeys at work and I cannot be bothered any more.So today:
Dropped Lexx at work
Recycled all our soft plastic
Went to Aldi
Went to Bunnings (our everything hardware shop)
Went to Ikea
Went to the fish markets
Went to the tip
Went to the stockfeeds shop
Went to the plant nursery
Home
Unpacked the entire car
Put the washing on
Set the vacuum cleaner robot
Went for a plod
Set up the new solar lighting system down the path to the flat
Dusted/wiped down the flat
Vacuumed the flat
Received the online grocery order and put cold items in fridge/freezer
Swept the carport
Put all the leaves from the carport into the compost
Swept the path to the flat
Hung out the washing
Drove to pick up Lexx
Brought in the wood for the fire
Put rest of groceries away
Cooked dinner
Need to go clean up dinner...
Urgh.
Rusalka wrote: "We have a friend moving from Darwin into our granny flat soon. Found out on the weekend it was 2 weeks earlier, and they are arriving on Thurs. We went into overdrive, but we're still behind, so I ..."Goodness - I'm exhausted, lol. I think I'm just going to laze aaround today...I wish! What's "the tip?"
Peggy wrote: "Busy day Rus! But very productive!"I'm viewing Friday as a relax day as I have been so productive today.
Lilisa wrote: "Goodness - I'm exhausted, lol. I think I'm just going to laze aaround today...I wish! What's "the tip?"I whole-heartedly approve!!
Oh sorry. The "tip" is what we call the rubbish/garbage dump. The rubbish trucks tip things into the dump I guess... never thought about the word before... hence the tip? Australian English is odd, we like verbs as nouns.
Rusalka wrote: "Lilisa wrote: "Goodness - I'm exhausted, lol. I think I'm just going to laze aaround today...I wish! What's "the tip?"I whole-heartedly approve!!
Oh sorry. The "tip" is what we call the rubbish/..."
Ah, got it...separated by a common language! Hopefully there was wine/beer with dinner.
Now do my place, Rus! LOL!
I guess it is a place where you put the granny when she can't live by herself anymore. I imagine some kind of appartement or similar that it is in the house but at the same time independent of it. Just guessing.
Wow Rusalka, you’ll be wanting to go back to work for a break lol
Wow that's full on Rusalka.It's so hot here today. 32C recorded in Bristol and i had to work in a room that I couldn't open the windows to .luckily I had a fan but it was still uncomfortable .
Rob is still off work with his bad back. And to top it off our van has broken. It's been in the garage a week now waiting on parts. So we're vehicle -less. So lucky to have friends around us who have taken me to the nearest train station so I can get to work .total nightmare .
It's hot here too, 34C. Tomorrow and Thursday will be even hotter, 37 and 39C! That's very extreme.I checked forecasts of the icelandic national weather service and it said 'the warm weather will continue the rest of the week'. It's 10-18C there. That made me laugh!
Sandra wrote: "I guess it is a place where you put the granny when she can't live by herself anymore. I imagine some kind of appartement or similar that it is in the house but at the same time independent of it. ..."We call them Mother-in-law suites here. Often they are separate from the main house and fully contained. If they are attached (like a basement suite), they have their own entrance.
Janice wrote: "Sandra wrote: "I guess it is a place where you put the granny when she can't live by herself anymore. I imagine some kind of appartement or similar that it is in the house but at the same time inde..."we call them bi-generation here.
Janice wrote: "We call them Mother-in-law suites here. Often they are separate from the main house and fully contained. If they are attached (like a basement suite), they have their own entrance. "Yup, this is it. Sorry, again, didn't think of the language barrier but of course every area has it's own terms for them!
Our house was built as a duplex, so is a 2 bedroom place we live in, and a separate 1 bedroom place at the back. This is odd though, usually granny flats are built in the backyard as an afterthought when your granny needs somewhere close by to move into but independent enough. But every third house in our street was built like that.
We bought it so Dad could have a place to live. Have had a couple who were family friends in there, my brother + his girlfriend + their cat, and then a friend + her partner + their cockatiel. It will be relatively spacious with just one friend in there. Will mean Lexx has to be more cautious while peeing on the chicken coop though lol
I had to read that last sentence 3 times and I'm still not sure I got it right..
lol! I think Rusalka has said something before about men pee keeping foxes away, so I guess it makes sense peeing on the chicken coop.
Haha! Too funny. I wasn't expecting that last sentence either, but now that makes sense.
TeeheeheeAnd not on top of. But around the perimeter.
The flat has a beautiful big window that has a view of the mountains, but it also overlooks the coop.
Lol, I was already imagining Lexx peeing out of a window on the 1st floor, aiming right at the chicken coop. But I think I have a more realistic image of the why and how now ;-)
Ahh... the things we learn here at YLTO!
It's interesting that you all have a name for that building, even though they're all different. Is it very common to have one?I don't think it's so common here, and we also don't have a name. I would just call it 'a small building in the garden with its own kitchen and bathroom where someone can live.'
Not hugely common here, but a lot more now days as housing is so unaffordable, as is assisted living places. Most people are building detached flats in their backyards now. Our street is very rare in Canberra with so many duplexes built like this in 1970. We do have areas with semi-detached houses, but not small apartments in the footprint of a 3 bedroom, one story house.I found out the other day that not only do you pay the price of a house ($500-700 000) for an apartment or a room (depending if you are in low level assisted residences or high care nursing homes), but then rent per week as well! No wonder there is an aged care crisis on top of a housing crisis and now people are thinking of ways to live as a larger family group again instead of individual nuclear families.
Today the warmest temperature ever in the Netherlands has been recorded not far from where I live: 39.2C. The previous record was 38.6 in 1944.It's expected that it will be at least 1C warmer tomorrow, likely passing 40C.
In short: it's bloody hot.
I should have figured out it was a mother in law suite. They are becoming more and more common here also. The cost of housing in this area is pretty high Many of these rooms are being used by children returning home after college. They have huge student loans. The cast of just getting an apartment is thousands of dollars.They must have first month and last month rent as well as a security deposit. Some places even charge an application fee.
We don't have a name for those granny flats in Uruguay either. My grandma's house had one where at different moments my aunt and my mom lived in. My sister and I were born there actually. (not actually there, but while living there). We just called it the "back house".
It is really hot here too. I don't even know which was the max temperature today, but we are at 34 degrees now and it is already 5pm.
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