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Will Once - somewhere and back again
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Will
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Sep 07, 2014 08:21AM
Then again, so am I.
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Why does the other queue move faster than the one you are in?Why are certain numbers lucky?
How do conspiracy theories work?
http://willonce.wordpress.com/2014/09...
Will wrote: "Why does the other queue move faster than the one you are in?Why are certain numbers lucky?
How do conspiracy theories work?
http://willonce.wordpress.com/2014/09......"
Will wrote: "Why does the other queue move faster than the one you are in?
Why are certain numbers lucky?
How do conspiracy theories work?
http://willonce.wordpress.com/2014/09......"
It's always happens when queuing up, when one line is quicker than the other. I truly believe Governments use conspiracy theories to justify their own actions against other countries.
Will wrote: "A diet especially made for men - the zombie plan:http://willonce.wordpress.com/2014/09..."
You'd be better off coaching a under 11 football team, they would make you work hard.
One queue is always quicker than the others, but it isn't always the one that you are in. It can't be - because all the people in the faster queue will have the opposite experience on that particular occasion. Over time it balances itself out. It can't do anything else.The sneaky thing about conspiracies is that they do sometimes happen. The UK Government of the day did use the infamous dodgy dossier to justify war against Iraq.
The thing is that they usually get found out. It is very hard to keep a secret in a large organisation. So whilst some conspiracies are real, the vast majority are not conspiracies at all.
Today's post is a naughty little offering called "tell, don't show".Do rules about writing guarantee that you will become the next JK Rowling?
http://willonce.wordpress.com/2014/09...
Completely agree, Will. Read a review by an English professor for a book that's not Booker-prize-shortlisted and you can guarantee it'll be full of this was not technically correct, that was not technically correct: 2*. Whereas, actual readers will be gushing about how much they loved the characters: 5* (that self same review will likely be full of typos).As you say, readers want a story that grabs them and pulls them in; those rules can help you get there, but they're no good on their own.
It is one of the problems that we have to somehow work round.Of course the English Professor's review will be the one people regard as the most prestigious, and the others are downplayed because they're full of typos :-(
There should be at least five blog posts for me to read with my coffee this morning, yet there's only three!There's disappointing. :(
Sorry - I've moved to blogging every other day. I've got lots of other exciting projects on the go at the moment. I'm making one of my books free next week. I've got a new book coming out. There's the paid consultancy ... busy, busy, busy.It's one of those things that happen when you get older. Things that you used to do every day, move to every other day, then twice a week, once a month, your birthday ...
Mind you, where have you been? Each day I look at my stats page to see if Azerbaijan has logged in yet. That is you, right?
Here's today's blog - what makes a good story?
http://willonce.wordpress.com/2014/09...
I've barely managed a few posts in here for weeks.Crazy busy at work and only awake a couple hours after I get home. I'm saving the good stuff for the weekend.
You were talking about sex, weren't you? ;)
I hope you're not ALL talk!
The curious enigma of the Chosen One. Why do so many books feel the need to make their main character into a pre-destined Jesus figure?Is the Chosen One hopelessly clichéd and out of date?
http://willonce.wordpress.com/2014/09...
It was interesting how you turned it round at the end. I suspect that authors create a 'chosen one'almost by accident, because it's easier to concentrate on the one hero.We do get 'dual' heroes, anyone remember 'Alias Smith and Jones'?
But once you get more than a very small number of central characters, they drop a level and one steps out from amongst them and becomes, 'the chosen one'
You mentioned Lord of the Rings. Perhaps the story, and the author, are Big enough to accommodate more than one central character?
That's very true. I think we also have stories with multiple heroes because that increases the chances of the reader finding someone to empathise with. We might call it the Spice Girls effect - you can choose whether you want to be sporty, posh or scary.When I first saw Star Wars as a boy I wanted to be Luke. Later in my teens and twenties I fancied myself as Han Solo (do you think that Leia kept that gold bikini for special occasions?). In my forties I saw myself as Qui Gonn "I have a very specific set of skills". Now that I am into the Saga demographic I can't help thinking that the Emperor could be a good role model...
My personal theory on Lord of the Rings is that the different characters represent the ages of man. Hobbits are young children, dwarves are older children, Aragorn/Legolas et al are the adults and Gandalf/ Saruman are the wisdom of age.
Perhaps we choose who to follow depending on which we empathise with more? And as we age, our perception of the characters changes according to our own experiences?
Sadly, when I finished my piece and posted it I thought to myself, "Surely Gandalf is the Chosen one."Alas now I know why it occurred to me :-(
I'm still drooling over Aragorn!
Understandable. And a sadness for us blokes who realise that our Aragorn days are behind us, we are about level with Theoden and we are racing to catch up with Gandalf.
I bet you still have an eye for Eowyn and Arwen though...
Of course! When you stop looking, it's time to close the coffin lid and nail down the corners.
Today's blog picks up on this conversation. What about books or films with multiple main characters?So here's the story of the chosen other ones...
http://willonce.wordpress.com/2014/09...
Extracting boy scoutz from horses hooves??? Id love to see that blade!
You've not come across that one Gingerlily?
Not yet. My swiss army knife doesn't have that blade.
A more personal blog today - the lessons learned from making a book free.http://willonce.wordpress.com/2014/09...
I have no difficulties with talking shit.
Patti - in that case, you might like today's blog ...Nuggets and oddities - including (just for Patti) how much poo do the residents of Slough do?
http://willonce.wordpress.com/2014/09...
Nice oneI discovered the other day that sewage locally is dried to 'cake' and sent in lorries down to Lancashire where it is then used as biomass solids to generate energy (as much as it takes to haul it there?) before the residue is spread on farmland down there
Do I admit to reading it whilst perched on the bog?
Do I find the courage to blog about the patented Once theory of poo?
Okay dokey. Tomorrow's blog will be Will Once's unifying theory of why poo smells bad, why man can't help staring at cleavages and why kids don't like to eat their vegetables.I might even throw in a token "why George Clooney" for the Mem.
Yay!Make it good and long. I use the big coffee mug on Sundays.
Erm. To drink coffee from. Not for poo.
Now that's an image!Reading the blog on the throne ... yup, I can see that. Not literally, you understand. You are doing that multitasking thing women can do but men can't, like going to the toilet and having a hand free to write graffiti.
Reading whilst drinking a cup of coffee. I can see that one too. In fact, even us poor restricted blokes might manage that one.
But reading the blog, on the throne whilst drinking coffee?
And throwing in an innuendo (good and long) at the same time! Heck, that's black-belt multi tasking. Way above my pay grade.
As promised, here is Uncle Will's unifying theory of everything...http://willonce.wordpress.com/2014/09...
Oh. Better not make more coffee, though.I'm already jittery.
C'mon, be controversial.I want your religion theory.
From poo to George Clooney to religion?That would be quite a journey. Might be a bit too much to squeeze into a blog though. Could be a book.
Let me ponder on it. I'll get back to you.
Are we talking the smooth suited Brad of Mr and Mrs Smith, the leather mini-skirted version of Troy or the sweaty abs of Fight Club?As a long-standing female friend would say: "Have him washed and oiled and sent to my tent."
The Mem on the other hand, likes her male totty to be smartly suited, clean-shaven, powerful.
God knows why she chose me.
I like my men on the rugged side.Think Legends of the Fall.
More rugged by the year, GL.Sadly lacking in abs, though.
Although he does have sexy runners legs.
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