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Footnotes 2017-2018 > Geek Joke For Geek Read

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message 1: by Jason (new)

Jason Oliver | 2063 comments A cop pull over a photon. The cop says, "Did you know you were going 186,282 miles per second?" The photon replies, "Thanks, now I don't know where I'm at."


message 2: by Jason (new)

Jason Oliver | 2063 comments This joke is based on the uncertainty principle in quantum mechanics. The basics is, you cannot know the speed and position of a particle at the same time. You can either know the position or speed. So when the cop tells the photon how fast he is going (a photon is a particle of light and 186,282 miles per second is the speed of light in a vaccum) the photon does not know known its location. Corny but funnh to me.


message 3: by Joanne (new)

Joanne (joabroda1) | 7871 comments ok, now I get it! thanks -truely geeky if you have to explain it, right?
LOL


message 4: by KateNZ (new)

KateNZ | 2503 comments Hahaha! I needed the explanation too - I’d got as far as ‘something to do with position and speed’ and my brain shut down with a snap, lol.

The closest I usually get to physics is my T-shirt with a velociraptor on it and the legend ‘Velociraptor = Distanceraptor [over] Timeraptor’ ...


message 5: by Amy (new)

Amy | 8854 comments I too love how you had to explain it to the rest of us! Seriously, you turned up just in time for a month you would appreciate, even if you are reading less.


message 6: by LibraryCin (new)

LibraryCin | 8624 comments Haha! I also needed the explanation! Good to see you back, Jason! (Even if it is temporary.)


message 7: by Booknblues (new)

Booknblues | 6194 comments I truly wanted to make a cute quip back to you Jason, but all I had was, Duh, What?


message 8: by AsimovsZeroth (new)

AsimovsZeroth (asimovszerothlaw) | 436 comments One of my favorite geek jokes that goes down well in just about any crowd:

Why can't you trust atoms?

They make up everything.


message 9: by Joanne (new)

Joanne (joabroda1) | 7871 comments LiteraryMania wrote: "One of my favorite geek jokes that goes down well in just about any crowd:

Why can't you trust atoms?

They make up everything."


I got this one right away!!!!!!!!!!!🤣🤣


message 10: by LibraryCin (new)

LibraryCin | 8624 comments LiteraryMania wrote: "
Why can't you trust atoms?

They make up everything."


*groan...


message 11: by AsimovsZeroth (new)

AsimovsZeroth (asimovszerothlaw) | 436 comments LibraryCin wrote: "LiteraryMania wrote: "
Why can't you trust atoms?

They make up everything."

*groan..."


It's definitely the dad joke level of geek jokes. ;) A groan was my reaction when I first heard it too, so now I have to inflict it on others. Misery loves company.


message 12: by Jason (new)

Jason Oliver | 2063 comments KateNZ wrote: "The closest I usually get to physics is my T-shirt with a velociraptor on it and the legend ‘Velociraptor = Distanceraptor [over] Timeraptor’"

This is very funny to me. I normally wear plain shirts but I would wear this one.


message 13: by Jason (new)

Jason Oliver | 2063 comments LiteraryMania wrote: "LibraryCin wrote: "LiteraryMania wrote: "
Why can't you trust atoms?

They make up everything."

*groan..."

It's definitely the dad joke level of geek jokes. ;) A groan was my reaction when I firs..."


I love dad jokes. I am a dad and corny jokes are funny to me. I loved this. Much better joke than mine.


message 14: by Joi (new)

Joi (missjoious) | 3822 comments My favorite geek joke-
"Gold walks into a bar and than the bartender says AU get out!"

My favorite geek pickup line-
"If you were an enzyme, you'd be DNA Helicase"
"Why"
"Because you can unzip my genes any day"


message 15: by AsimovsZeroth (new)

AsimovsZeroth (asimovszerothlaw) | 436 comments Jason wrote: "LiteraryMania wrote: "LibraryCin wrote: "LiteraryMania wrote: "
Why can't you trust atoms?

They make up everything."

*groan..."

It's definitely the dad joke level of geek jokes. ;) A groan was m..."


I'm not sure if it's better, just more accessible. If you liked that one though, here is another good corny one:

A photon checks into a hotel.
The bellhop asks "Could I take your luggage?"
The photon replies, "I don't have any. I'm traveling light."


message 16: by Joanne (new)

Joanne (joabroda1) | 7871 comments LiteraryMania wrote: "Jason wrote: "LiteraryMania wrote: "LibraryCin wrote: "LiteraryMania wrote: "
Why can't you trust atoms?

They make up everything."

*groan..."

It's definitely the dad joke level of geek jokes. ;)..."


Ok laughed out aloud at that one


message 17: by Jason (new)

Jason Oliver | 2063 comments LiteraryMania wrote: "Jason wrote: "LiteraryMania wrote: "LibraryCin wrote: "LiteraryMania wrote: "
Why can't you trust atoms?

They make up everything."

*groan..."

It's definitely the dad joke level of geek jokes. ;)..."


Hilarious. I also laughed audibly.


message 18: by Jason (new)

Jason Oliver | 2063 comments Joi wrote: "My favorite geek joke-
"Gold walks into a bar and than the bartender says AU get out!"

My favorite geek pickup line-
"If you were an enzyme, you'd be DNA Helicase"
"Why"
"Because you can unzip my ..."


AU get out! Thats funny.

The pickup line got me. Not familiar with DNA Helicase but figured it out with context clues and google. Learned something new.


message 19: by AsimovsZeroth (new)

AsimovsZeroth (asimovszerothlaw) | 436 comments Joi wrote: "My favorite geek joke-
"Gold walks into a bar and than the bartender says AU get out!"

My favorite geek pickup line-
"If you were an enzyme, you'd be DNA Helicase"
"Why"
"Because you can unzip my ..."


I missed this when you posted. I've always loved that pickup line, but the gold one is new to me. Fantastic! I'll have to add that to my list. You just reminded me of another one:

What's another way to say female?
Iron man.


message 20: by Jason (new)

Jason Oliver | 2063 comments LiteraryMania wrote: "Joi wrote: "My favorite geek joke-
"Gold walks into a bar and than the bartender says AU get out!"

My favorite geek pickup line-
"If you were an enzyme, you'd be DNA Helicase"
"Why"
"Because you c..."



Took me a second. Fe male. haha Thats a good one.


message 21: by Amy (new)

Amy | 8854 comments Ha! I needed Jason’s explanation! Love the jokes, guys! Literally about to make myself late for work so I can check out my year in books!


message 22: by AsimovsZeroth (new)

AsimovsZeroth (asimovszerothlaw) | 436 comments Amy wrote: "Ha! I needed Jason’s explanation! Love the jokes, guys! Literally about to make myself late for work so I can check out my year in books!"

Oh Amy, I can relate. The number of times I've looked at the clock and realized I've been on goodreads for waaaaaaaay longer than I thought...


message 23: by AsimovsZeroth (new)

AsimovsZeroth (asimovszerothlaw) | 436 comments Jason wrote: "LiteraryMania wrote: "Joi wrote: "My favorite geek joke-
"Gold walks into a bar and than the bartender says AU get out!"

My favorite geek pickup line-
"If you were an enzyme, you'd be DNA Helicase..."


Did you hear that oxygen and potassium went on a date?
It went OK.

Do I know any jokes about sodium?
Na.



...Jason why did you get me started? I could go all day. I don't know a lot of jokes generally, but the ones I do know are all kinda geeky. I guess I just outed myself here.


message 24: by Joanne (new)

Joanne (joabroda1) | 7871 comments LiteraryMania wrote: "Jason wrote: "LiteraryMania wrote: "Joi wrote: "My favorite geek joke-
"Gold walks into a bar and than the bartender says AU get out!"

My favorite geek pickup line-
"If you were an enzyme, you'd b..."


Well, you should get points for knowing so many!!


message 25: by AsimovsZeroth (new)

AsimovsZeroth (asimovszerothlaw) | 436 comments Joanne wrote: "LiteraryMania wrote: "Jason wrote: "LiteraryMania wrote: "Joi wrote: "My favorite geek joke-
"Gold walks into a bar and than the bartender says AU get out!"

My favorite geek pickup line-
"If you w..."


Why shouldn't you ever talk to Pi?
Because it will go on and on forever.

Are you sure I should get points for these Joanne? I think you might mean I should be tarred and feathered. ;)


message 26: by Jason (new)

Jason Oliver | 2063 comments Im loving them. Do you know all these jokes or are you looking them up.


message 27: by Amy N. (new)

Amy N. | 256 comments Some of these I've heard, mostly the periodic table ones (my husband isn't a physics nerd, but he is a geek and he loves dad jokes) but I hadn't heard the first one Jason told before. Now I can turn the tables on hubby when I get home. >:}


message 28: by LibraryCin (new)

LibraryCin | 8624 comments LiteraryMania wrote: "It's definitely the dad joke level of geek jokes. ;) A groan was my reaction when I first heard it too, so now I have to inflict it on others. Misery loves company...."

LOL! Ok, well your comment made me laught!


message 29: by LibraryCin (last edited Dec 10, 2018 05:43PM) (new)

LibraryCin | 8624 comments Most of the rest of these also have me groaning, though I did laugh out loud at a couple!


message 30: by AsimovsZeroth (new)

AsimovsZeroth (asimovszerothlaw) | 436 comments Jason wrote: "Im loving them. Do you know all these jokes or are you looking them up."

I know these. They're the only jokes I know, actually. I've always been a geek, my friends are all geeks... these are the jokes we'd tell each other pretty regularly. I'm sure you can find most of these online though. We geeks all got them somewhere, over the years.

I would tell another chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon.


message 31: by Joanne (new)

Joanne (joabroda1) | 7871 comments LiteraryMania wrote: "Joanne wrote: "LiteraryMania wrote: "Jason wrote: "LiteraryMania wrote: "Joi wrote: "My favorite geek joke-
"Gold walks into a bar and than the bartender says AU get out!"

My favorite geek pickup ..."


oh-no points! these are priceless!


message 32: by annapi (new)

annapi | 5068 comments Have you heard the one about the chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just couldn't put it down.


message 33: by annapi (new)

annapi | 5068 comments Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?

It went OK2!


message 34: by Joanne (new)

Joanne (joabroda1) | 7871 comments Big groans(the good kind) on both of these!


message 35: by Joi (new)

Joi (missjoious) | 3822 comments I'm rolling my eyes at all these- and it's fabulous.


message 36: by AsimovsZeroth (new)

AsimovsZeroth (asimovszerothlaw) | 436 comments annapi wrote: "Have you heard the one about the chemist who was reading a book about helium? He just couldn't put it down."

I've heard the slightly different version of this - reading about antigravity, but I like this one better, Annapi!


message 37: by AsimovsZeroth (new)

AsimovsZeroth (asimovszerothlaw) | 436 comments Joanne wrote: "LiteraryMania wrote: "Joanne wrote: "LiteraryMania wrote: "Jason wrote: "LiteraryMania wrote: "Joi wrote: "My favorite geek joke-
"Gold walks into a bar and than the bartender says AU get out!"

My..."


Oh good Joanne! I'm glad you feel that way, because not all math puns are bad... just sum.


message 38: by Tracy (new)

Tracy (tstan) | 1207 comments What do you do when a chemist dies?

Barium!


message 39: by annapi (new)

annapi | 5068 comments Expanding on that, Tracy:

Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.


message 40: by KateNZ (new)

KateNZ | 2503 comments Dying here, friends ...


message 41: by AsimovsZeroth (new)

AsimovsZeroth (asimovszerothlaw) | 436 comments Tracy and Annapi - those are some great ones!

You matter. Until you multiply yourself by the speed of light squared, then, you energy.


message 42: by Joi (new)

Joi (missjoious) | 3822 comments Today I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium started dating and was like OMG!!!


message 43: by LibraryCin (new)

LibraryCin | 8624 comments Mostly I'm groaning for these, but I am occasionally throwing a laugh in here and there!


message 44: by annapi (new)

annapi | 5068 comments Hahaha! Love that one, Joi!


message 45: by annapi (new)

annapi | 5068 comments We would like to apologize for not adding more jokes...but we only update them periodically.


message 46: by Lyn (new)

Lyn (lynm) | 313 comments Joi wrote: "My favorite geek joke-
"Gold walks into a bar and than the bartender says AU get out!"

My favorite geek pickup line-
"If you were an enzyme, you'd be DNA Helicase"
"Why"
"Because you can unzip my ..."


LOL! Love it!


message 47: by Lyn (new)

Lyn (lynm) | 313 comments I am loving these! Thanks everyone!


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