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Journals : C-F > day dreams from jellybean [big and small]

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message 1: by butterbean (new)

butterbean (formerly jellybean) (thatonerebelliousgirloverthere) | 1881 comments day dreams are what make up my everyday life. i cannot be without them and neither can they without me. we make up each other. and things that make up each other cannot be forgotten nor destroyed. i love my daydreams and hopefully you will too. whenever i day dream, it gets forgotten and is lost forever. maybe, just maybe, i can save them here. i know i cannot save every detail, but i will save as much as i can. maybe you guys will enjoy reading them, maybe not. but if anything, i'll always enjoy writing them here. please do not judge them or me, for i am only one person within trillions. if you have something nice to say about my writing, go ahead. otherwise just stick to reading my stories. thank you. :)

message 2: by Laurel (new)

Laurel (laurelstories) I also love daydreaming that I can classify it as my hobby! Sometimes I would be lying on my bed or sitting on the toilet for hours daydreaming usually about stories I come up with or scenarios I’ve read or watched that I want to change or give different outcome.

I would love to read what you daydream...

message 3: by butterbean (new)

butterbean (formerly jellybean) (thatonerebelliousgirloverthere) | 1881 comments i tend to daydream things all about assassins creed. yes, i do love assassins creed and it's one of my favorite video games that i can play, but i cant help but make my own story and daydream about it constantly! basically, it's far into the future and the templars are starting to win the war. almost all of the assassins have been captured, have turned to the templars side, killed, or have just given up on the brotherhood entirely. but only five assassins remain and it's their job to keep the word from falling into the templars' hands. now having the mindset that i have, i of course add magic and such. four of them are granted specific elemental powers from the ancestors and are to use them against their enemies. and of course, the last one, is granted wings that allow them to fly at fast speeds and use as a shield. they are quite weak, being that one shot from a gun could send the flyer plummeting, but it's worth a shot at having such an important tool to use against the templar order. many many daydreams have created multiple different outcomes for my beloved but not all of them have been saved entirely. but at least getting this story out is a first.

message 4: by butterbean (new)

butterbean (formerly jellybean) (thatonerebelliousgirloverthere) | 1881 comments i listen to music everyday. whenever i listen to music, a video or animation comes to my head that goes along with the song. even if i don't know the song, it happens. every single time, it's different in certain ways. i cannot stop it and i can control what i see. when im able to animate, i'll be sure to make some of them into animations so others can see what i think about everyday.

message 5: by butterbean (new)

butterbean (formerly jellybean) (thatonerebelliousgirloverthere) | 1881 comments A thought, a long one. Listen closely youngin, you might learn something.

The winds blew calm and quiet across the dusty landscape of the outer edges of the Xandrian kingdom. The figure that stood in the moonlight, displaying its huge silky wings that could deflect modern bullets, watched the horizon for any sort of sound possible. It in took a small breath, holding it as its ears listened contently. Sand, wind, the sound of a mouse patting its little paws against the ground, a crow not far off in the distance looking for its next meal, a sign from the stars sending a bolt of light across the clear night sky, then the sound he was looking for. Distant growling, soft but intimidating, coming from the shifting sands below. Finally breathing, he spread his wings and waited for the right moment. Silence filled the air, the wind and the night sounds the only things filled such an empty area. Then, suddenly, a mighty roar filled the silence as the winged human took flight, just missing the large jaws of the monster. Turning back after flying to a safe distance, his eyes widened. A dragon.

Dragons were very rare, the mighty warriors and hunters killing off any dragon they could find. It was very hard to find a dragon these days and it was for good reason. The hunters had used a strategy, they were to kill off all the females of the race and keep those beasts from reproducing. It had worked for awhile, but the dragons had found a way back even with the few females they harbored. Their numbers grew and so did their strength and wisdom. They gained powerful elemental properties that could rip the mind of a human straight from his head within nanoseconds, clean and dry as well. Huffing in disgust, the male used all of his wing's power to fly far away from the dragon. The beast turned and let out yet another mighty roar and took to the air after him. This was now turning into a life or death situation.

He turned sharp, heading down towards the woods as the beast followed. It was hungry and one could tell it wasn't safe to stand still for one second. Letting himself glide, he passed through the tall oak wood trees and pumped his wings yet again, the beast trying to follow but failing. Luckily, it's size and sheer power is what gave it an idea. Following after it's future meal, the dragon plowed through the forest, ripping the trees from their trunks and sending even the oldest of redwoods crashing to the ground, their wood gutting out from every angle. Glancing behind him, the winged one gasped and realized this was not just another prison break. Flying faster and faster, moving through the trees just to have them crash down seconds later, the sharp turns that almost threw both off course, it didn't end for hours. The winged one was getting tired, for the dragon he was just getting started. Looking around for an escape, the winged one grinned in satisfaction as he spotted a tiny cave not far from his position. Using the last of his wing's power, he shot into the cave at blinding speeds and immediately fell to the ground, looking for a spot to hide.

The dragon, not so easily given up, crashed into the mountain side, his large elephant sized claws scraping at the stone walls as he tried to grab hold. Jamming his head into the cave, he roared as the sound filled the wing's ears and made him scream in pain. The dragon, now knowing he could not reach him physically, started to use words to try and lure him out of the dark and tiny cave. "Luuuucaasssss," he deviously said, calling out the man's name in a sweet and tender tone. "Please dear Lucas, I mean no harm."

"Lies," Lucas said, feeling around the walls of the cave for some sort of other exit. He had to get out of here and now. "You chased me for hours on end, why might you think I would trust you?" "Because, dear Lucas, I could bring you glory. You could become one of them along side me." Lucas' eyes grew wide, turning in curiosity over to the dragon as he thought about this legendary offer that was being granted to him. He could. . . he could escape all the pain. He could come alongside this terrible dragon and be granted almost everything in the world. But one thing was wrong with this offer, it was being handed to him on a silver platter. This wasn't right, it shouldn't be right.

"No," Lucas sternly stated, his point made. "You leave me no choice you outrageous swine!" He roared once again, replacing his head with his claws as he dug into the cave, little by little making it grow larger and larger. This couldn't be Lucas' end, could it? Desperately looking around, Lucas spotted a small hole in the side of the cave that he hadn't seen before. Nodding to himself, he ignored the ear-piercing roars and the sound of claws against stone as he squeezed through the hole and out into the moonlight. Turning around one last time to watch the dragon continue to struggle getting into the small cave, Lucas turned, spread his wings and took flight.

message 6: by butterbean (last edited Dec 20, 2018 08:35PM) (new)

butterbean (formerly jellybean) (thatonerebelliousgirloverthere) | 1881 comments (When I Was A Kid - Shane Koyczan)

When I was a kid, I hid my heart under the bed because my mother said "If you're not careful, someday, someone's gonna break it."

Take it from me, under the bed is not a good hiding spot. I know because I've been shot down so many times I get altitude sickness just from standing up for myself.

When I was a kid, I could fill a bookshelf with every different way they would tell me how not to play. They'd say "It's time to start putting childish things away."

And I was like, "Fuck you! This is Skeletor." But more and more they made me believe that our hearts are like door knocks, and that's where we get the sound of a beat.

And I'll never get to meet the man inside me if I can't stand still long enough to be there, I'll never make it anywhere if I keep running away, I'll never know myself if all I ever do is play nikki-nikki-nine doors, don't wanna be a man.

When I was a kid, I wanted to be a man. I wanted to register retirement savings plan that'd keep me and candy long enough to make old age sweet.

I wanted two left feet so I could dance circles around important issues until way past my bed time.

I'm not saying I don't have opinions, just that others were less likely to argue if they were as tired as I was, fatigued as to amen what a good night kiss does to kids, it puts weights on our eyelids and returns us to a place where reason and imagination lace together shoes who's tongues stick out at stillness and beckon us to move forward.

As a kid, I was always drawn toward moonlight, despite an armada of adults who insist I must set my days according to sunlight.

I would lay in bed, and fight sleep, believing if I shut my eyes, even for an instant, I would miss out on something amazing.

Turns out I was right. I have seen stars stamped into the night like cookie cutter designs. Drew lines in-between each one, inventing new constellations so that when somebody asked me, "What's your sign?" I could point to mine, the one hanging over the first door past the finish line, and say "It's right there. The one marked exit." Because one day all this getting ahead bullshit will be over, and people will start looking for me, and I'll be there.

I'll wear my best flashing red and you, you will stand winner circle thorough-bred I will un-thread the screws that would put you throughout this life, then smile and say, "You made it."

When I was a kid, I traded in homework assignments for friendship, and gave my friends a late slip for never showing up on time, and in most cases, not at all.

I gave myself a hall pass to get through each broken promise. And I remember this plan, borne out of frustration from a kid who kept calling me "yogi".

Then pointed to my tummy and said, "too many picnic baskets." Turns out it's not that hard to trick someone. And one day, before class, I said "Yeah... You can copy my homework."

And I gave him all the wrong answers that I'd written down the night before. He got his paper back, expecting a near perfect score, and couldn't believe it when he looked across the room at me and held up a zero.

I know I didn't have to hold up my paper of 28/30, but my satisfaction was complete when he looked at me puzzled and I thought to myself, "Smarter than the average bear, motherfucker."

When I was a kid, I slid love letters through the slots of lockers that belonged to my secret crushes, built paint brushes from the tiny hairs that stood on end every time I saw them. My brain stem finally blooming with thoughts, I connected dots and made masterpieces, each brush stroke a thesis dedicated to the explanation that you, not knowing who I was, was only because anonymity made it easier to be brave.

I dipped my brush into a tidal wave I hoped that would one day wash over me. I can guarantee, if you've ever had a secret admirer, it was someone very much like me, who loved someone very much like you.

It was someone who wanted to tell you how much you meant, how every second we spent thinking of you was simply the cost of getting us through the hard times, we saved nickles and dimes hoping our first date would be with you. So with the disappoint of love, we gave up comic books and video games, I promise you, every guy I've ever met remembers the names of the ones they loved first, then our thirst for love continues, as we cross the deserts of maybe, believing we will find an oasis of yes.

Acquiesce, yes... We probably should have just said something, but we were chicken shit. We let the fuses of our hearts explode every time you walked on by.

When I was a kid, I did stupid shit. Ripped the woman's underwear section out of the sears' Christmas wish catalog, and blamed it on my granddad. He did end up covering for me, and had only this to say.

"You're only twelve! So I'm impressed. But take it from experience, don't hide that under your mattress." So I didn't. I hid it in the empty box of a board game that I never used to play.

And on the day that my grandmother eventually found it, she reamed him out for hiding pornography in his grandson's bedroom.

The impending doom of the truth set upon me like a dying sun sending its last ray of light over the horizon, and aimed directly at me.

He didn't say a word. Incurred the full wrath then laughed with me later, saying "It's like your heart. It doesn't matter where you hide it."

Lovers are like little kids lifting up rocks, looking for an insect, they will find that shit.

When I was a kid, I trusted myself enough to know that one day, I'd be a man. One day I would have a childhood for a past and a future for a backup plan, that every gauntlet I've ever ran was a potato sack race, in which time would chase me further towards an ending, I am bending myself back to the beginning, reminding myself there's no winning any race against yourself, slow down.

And when the kid in you falls, turn around, pick them up, dust them off, then continue. Trust me, you are gonna need that kid. You are gonna need someone to remind you that every weed is a flower, just trying to make shit work, that every jerk you ever encounter is just another someone who somehow forgot that it's okay to need a hug. It's okay to be afraid.

When I was a kid, I played hop-scotch with the lines they drew in the sand, landed on the conclusion that second hand clothes at least to the benefit of experience, and I've got one hundred and thirty seven hand heart, broken apart and stitched back together at the seams. I've cartwheeled across balance beams, made from the broken finger bones of people who could not let go of this life.

I still love the night. I love the fact that if you squint your eyes just right, stars look like porcupines of light, stumbling across the dark dipping their quills into the night, trying to write apologies for all of the unanswered wishes from the times we once wished upon them.

Sometimes, I still wish. And most times, I wish I didn't have to. I wish I didn't have to wish.

So I guess what I'm saying is that I hope, I hope I never forget that kid who grew up inside me. He just seemed to laugh a little bit louder, smile just little bit longer, loved a whole lot stronger, world's first official awesome monger, taking awesome from door to door, "Take as much as you need. Don't worry about me, I got more. I've got a candy store filled with whatever it's gonna take to make tomorrow sweet."

I got two left feet and no bed time. I'm still not brave enough to have an orgy, but I rock the slumber party, come nap with me.First one to fall asleep loses, first one to fall asleep wins.

The race stops at the start and the finish line is where it begins so this time first one to lose wins. I know we never meant to turn our hearts to garbage bins. It was an accident.

I know the headlines of us giving up were a misprint, and really just bad reporting. I know we've been boarding up the windows from the outside in, we've been doing it ever since they told us to start letting things go, and I know we got into the habit of throwing everything away, but your heart is a door knock. And every time it beats, it's just that kid's way of asking, "Can you please come out and play?"

message 7: by butterbean (new)

butterbean (formerly jellybean) (thatonerebelliousgirloverthere) | 1881 comments I'm still proud to say that I am continuing to daydream all the time every single day, whenever I daydream though I tend to like phase off into my own little world. I don't pay attention so I can't really daydream and do work at the same time. So of course, I have a bit of a schedule the I use after school to ensure that I have some daydreaming time. It's important to me so of course I'm going to do it. :)

message 8: by Tamra (new)

Tamra  (pleasereadbiothankyou) | 1728 comments i love you!

message 9: by edge (new)

edge  (baconnnnnnnnnn) | 5140 comments jellybean where are you

message 10: by butterbean (new)

butterbean (formerly jellybean) (thatonerebelliousgirloverthere) | 1881 comments I am here, why my good friend?

message 11: by edge (new)

edge  (baconnnnnnnnnn) | 5140 comments hi

message 12: by edge (new)

edge  (baconnnnnnnnnn) | 5140 comments i missed you

message 13: by butterbean (new)

butterbean (formerly jellybean) (thatonerebelliousgirloverthere) | 1881 comments awww I missed you too uwu

message 14: by edge (new)

edge  (baconnnnnnnnnn) | 5140 comments awww yay

message 15: by butterbean (new)

butterbean (formerly jellybean) (thatonerebelliousgirloverthere) | 1881 comments :)

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