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General > Xmas 2018...Whether You Need It or Not!

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message 1: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Well, once again, Christmas raises the horrific specter of unwanted relatives stopping by to give you ugly sweaters and the wrong size (or gender??) underwear. Then, there's the family gathering around a very dry turkey or a ham that, honestly, only fell into the sink two or three times as mom tried to rinse off the gelatinous whatever-the-hell-that-is coating [Trust me, you don't want to know.] that accumulates under the plastic wrapper.

Regardless, as usual, your holiday dinner will come with all the fixin's...the most important of which will require brine-cured olives, maraschino cherries or pickled pearl onions, and possibly several ice cubes, unless you're one of those "neat" people. So, remember to help yourself to numerous refills of those important fixin's until you no longer feel like shooting your Great-Uncle Phil (The cheapskate who gave you a MAGA hat and a border wall bumper sticker.).

In the meantime, PLEASE gift you’re fellow HC Members a few Xmas posts in the thread below.

MERRY, MERRY!!


Xmas 03-30-18


message 2: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Frankly, it doesn't matter if you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or Jimmy Buffett's Birthday...

STEP ONE: Get boxes of holiday decorations out of the attic.


Xmas 07


STEP TWO: Visit Margaritaville early and often, as necessary, EVERY DAY until this is over.


message 3: by Rebecca (new)

Rebecca Douglass (rdouglass) | 2420 comments Mod
No home, so no decorations to deal with. I guess that means no Margaritas.


message 4: by Joel (new)

Joel Bresler | 1545 comments Mod
It's Jimmy Buffett's birthday? Damn! Caught unprepared again!


message 5: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Rebecca wrote: "No home, so no decorations to deal with. I guess that means no Margaritas."

Nonsense! Margaritas are 100% free at the homes of numerous friends and relatives. ...er... Well, they should be. Call ahead.

And don't worry about the decorations, Rebecca. No one will mind if you recycle last year's tree.


Xmas 55


message 6: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Joel wrote: "It's Jimmy Buffett's birthday? Damn! Caught unprepared again!"

That may be my fault, Joel. I think I forgot to send out the memo this year.


message 7: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Twenty days to go and all the TV networks are already running their Xmas shows.


Xmas 76


message 8: by Brenda (new)

Brenda Kearns (brendakearns) | 719 comments Rebecca wrote: "No home, so no decorations to deal with. I guess that means no Margaritas."

Rebecca, you should have a Margarita anyway!!


message 9: by Jay (last edited Dec 06, 2018 08:44AM) (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Apparently, mom would like some help with the chores during the holidays. Coming down for breakfast, I found...


SUBTLE CLUE #1:
Xmas 86-A


message 10: by Rebecca (new)

Rebecca Douglass (rdouglass) | 2420 comments Mod
Brenda wrote: "Rebecca wrote: "No home, so no decorations to deal with. I guess that means no Margaritas."

Rebecca, you should have a Margarita anyway!!"


I should--it's been ages since I had one.

In fact, I seldom drink anything that strong, but margaritas are about the one drink for which I'll make an exception. Though I don't exactly think of them as an Xmas drink.


message 11: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Rebecca wrote: "...margaritas are about the one drink for which I'll make an exception. Though I don't exactly think of them as an Xmas drink..."

It truly amazes me how the most intelligent people can so often overlook the obvious. No one thinks of margaritas as a Xmas drink, Rebecca. They're a 'Xmas drink, the day after Xmas drink, the day after the day after Xmas drink, the day after the day after the day after...'


message 12: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
How did they get past the troops at the border????


Xmas 69


message 13: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
For crying out loud, it's Christmas!!!! Please, please, PLEASE, don't make me apologize for this one.


Xmas a 23


message 14: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Apparently, the North Pole is now using a standardized set of confirmation emails. For example:


Xmas 12-9-18-C


message 15: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Dear Santa,
As I sit here, plotting my revenge...


Xmas 12-12-18


message 16: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
What???? ...What dark side are you referring to????


Xmas a 29


message 17: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
On the other hand, how do you know it's not that honesty-best policy thing????


Xmas a 06


message 18: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Anyone smell frankincense????


Xmas 12-9-18-B


message 19: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
POSSIBLY brilliant!

However, that scent is supposed to be pine, not catnip.


Xmas a 31


message 20: by Melki (last edited Dec 19, 2018 03:03AM) (new)

Melki | 3512 comments Mod
description


message 21: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Nice work if you can get it.


Xmas 12-19-18


message 22: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
carol -verb-
1. to sing Christmas songs or hymns, especially in a group performing in a public place or going from house to house.
2. to sing, especially in a lively, joyous manner; warble.
3. a cheap and easy way to avoid local anti-begging ordinances


Xmas a 38


message 23: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
Obviously, Santa got my list! I'm so excited!


Xmas a 30


message 24: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
It's true, there are still some people who heat their house with coal.


Xmas a 11


message 25: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
"I believe... I believe... I believe..."


Xmas a 43


message 26: by Jay (new)

Jay Cole (jay_cole) | 5437 comments Mod
As the holiday season winds down, it's time to thank all of those hardworking North Pole residents. So, while we certainly will not disturb their well-deserved free-time, let's peek in on...

SANTA

santa party

THE ELVES

Xmas 75

THE REINDEER

Xmas a 28

What the hell, maybe we'll have better luck closer to home. Let's check out a...

TAKE THE TREE DOWN PARTY

Xmas 96


We seem to be developing a theme here. I thought Christmas was for the kiddies, but, honestly, I've been wrong before.


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