1st Chapter Swap

[Author]

Hi,

Do you have your first chapter ready and seeking a critique/beta read? If so, send me an email: charles.envosoft@gmail.com

I've recently edited my first chapter (a political thriller | 1400 words) and would like to swap first chapters. What I'm looking for in this quick read is:

1. Am I doing a good job with 'showing' vs 'telling'?
2. Does my first chapter hook you as the reader?

I'll gladly answer the above for your chapter. Send your chapter to email above and PM me here so I know you've sent it.

Thanks,
Chas

[Mj]

Hi, I'd love to swap. I am on my 3rd edit of a 60,000 upper mg sci fi novel. Its pretty much done and I need fresh eyes to look at it. Its about a 12 year old boy who is ostracized at school and seeks refuge in becoming a professional gamer. He's intent on entering the Gauntlet Championship which offers pro contract to the winner, but while competing with his brand new hypervisor, he accidently gets sucked out of his body and into the game. The rest is how his sister and best freinds discover and save him. But, when he breaks the portal to get back to his body, he ends up in an inbetween dimension. Anyway. If this is interesting, my email is: mjhallden@yahoo.com.