8. Have you detected any translation errors?

[Manuel]

Have you detected any translation errors, or phrases that could have been improved in the translation?

[Mariangel]

I have read the book in Spanish. In the second riddle, one of the first hints for Gonzalo is that the words "first, second and third" are written in their feminine form, while the rest of the sentences are written in the masculine. How does this look like in English?

[Manuel]

Mariangel wrote: "I have read the book in Spanish. In the second riddle, one of the first hints for Gonzalo is that the words "first, second and third" are written in their feminine form, while the rest of the sente..."

I changed the feminine/masculine alternation into feminine/neutral, so the second riddle reads:
You can’t see the First.
You don’t have the Second.
You can’t find the Third.
But if you go to the Third,
You’ll see, you’ll have, you’ll find it.

[Lisa]

I had downloaded the Kindle preview of the English translation sometime ago and found that there were a few things that irritated me as a reader -- I wouldn't call them "bad translations" so much as choices that a native English speaker wouldn't have made. One of the problems, I think, for non-native English speakers (and writers) is that English's huge vocabulary (and the quirky, anglo-saxon way many of our idioms and colloquialisms are constructed) make it very difficult for someone not completely immersed in English-speaking culture to master all of the nuances of particular word choices.

At any rate, I was pleased to discover that I had already bought the original Spanish version of this book for my Kindle (but had not yet gotten around to reading it), so I was happy to read it in all its original glory. But I'm still curious about how that second riddle gets translated into English . . .

[Manuel]

Lisa wrote: "But I'm still curious about how that second riddle gets translated into English"

Lisa, you'll find the translation of the second riddle in the comment in this topic previous to your question.

[Manuel]

Lisa wrote: "I had downloaded the Kindle preview of the English translation sometime ago and found that there were a few things that irritated me as a reader -- I wouldn't call them "bad translations" so much a..."

You must also take into account that, although I use systematically the US spelling of all words, my English is really England English, rather than US English. I have noticed before that a few expressions that sound strange to US ears are actually used in England.

As Bernard Shaw is supposed to have said, The United States and Great Britain are two countries separated by a common language.

Or as expressed by Oscar Wilde in "The ghost of Canterville": We have really everything in common with America nowadays, except, of course, language.

I suppose that my books should be have been translated into US English from UK English, as was done with the Harry Potter novels, and also with two of mine, which, when published in Mexico, were translated from Spanish to "Mexican."

Anyway, it would be useful if you could provide any examples of those things that irritated you as a reader. I would learn to avoid them in the future. (:-)

[John]

Manuel wrote: "Anyway, it would be useful if you could provide any examples of those things that irritated you as a reader. I would learn to avoid them in the future. (:-) "

Here are some I noted (I've put errors in italics and after the quote the correct word or phrase, or at least a correct alternative):

Chapter 1,

p.3, 3rd para - "but I had no intention of letting he drag me." *him

5th para - "but what it's going to happen" *what's

6th para - "although he did deny it, it as clear he did want something to happen" *denied; I suppose this one is debatable, but the construction rings strange to my ear. In context it seems to me an unwarranted emphasis to include "did" in the first clause, and it detracts somewhat from the second clause.

Page 4, para 1 - "about to get into a much greater trouble" "a" is not needed in English here.

Since I saw tat you had asked for us to identify mistranslations, I noted them when I had a pen to hand. But sometimes I didn't have a pen handy.

[Manuel]

John wrote: "Here are some I noted (I've put errors in italics and after the quote the correct word or phrase, or at least a correct alternative)..."

Thanks a lot, John, I'll have them corrected. Please give me more, if you find them.

[Bice]

Just a couple things that stood out to me:

On Page: 202
“Do you want me to get on my knees?” “Not here, the floor is damp.”
Because they were outside “ground” would be better than floor for American English readers.


Page: 153
“Although I had not seen her face, the plump girl had to be she who had opened us twice the door to Patrocinio’s house.”

Although I had not seen her face, the plump girl had to be the one who twice answered the door at Patrocinio’s house.

[Bice]

And :
Page: 74

“Don’t get out alone for any reason”


Don’t go out alone for any reason

[Manuel]

Thanks a lot, Bice, I'll have them corrected.