Part 3&4

[Melanie]

Final thoughts

[Marie]

This was almost unbearably sad, but I loved it. I found myself lying awake late at night thinking about the characters. I think it’s partly a case of the right book finding me at the right time, and personal circumstances, but either way there’s no denying Szabó is a marvellous writer.

If there’s one element that didn’t quite fit for me, that left me puzzled, it was the chapter from Lidia’s perspective. I’m not really sure what that chapter did to further my understanding of the main characters, or to drive the narrative, other than perhaps illuminating Vince’s point of view a little. Her obsession with Iza was strangely sinister, as was the weird recurrence of the deathbed water/daughter mishearing (wilfully?). I’d be interested to hear your thoughts.

[Stacey]

I haven’t read any comments yet because I’m not but 45 pages in, but I can say so far I’m absolutely absorbed.

[Beatrizmallow]

Although I agree that Lidia's obsession was a bit weird I liked that her chapter showed us Iza from an outsider's perspective. This book was at time really painful to read, it touched really close to base with how lonely elders feel. I'm very glad we read it.

[Keriann]

I really loved this book, thought it was so sad and thought provoking. I liked all the characters even Iza, and I felt sorry for her too. 4 stars from me. ☺

[Stacey]

Beatrizmallow wrote: "Although I agree that Lidia's obsession was a bit weird I liked that her chapter showed us Iza from an outsider's perspective. This book was at time really painful to read, it touched really close ..."

Marie wrote: "This was almost unbearably sad, but I loved it. I found myself lying awake late at night thinking about the characters. I think it’s partly a case of the right book finding me at the right time, an..."

I think a different pace, a new perspective helped to break up what otherwise might have been an emotionally devastating story- it was like an emotional intermission.

[Stacey]

Keriann wrote: "I really loved this book, thought it was so sad and thought provoking. I liked all the characters even Iza, and I felt sorry for her too. 4 stars from me. ☺"

I Really liked it too Keriann! I also gave it a 4 although it has left lasting impressions and emotions.

[Justyna M]

It was a really sad book, it was hard seeing Iza's mother getting more and more depressed and feeling like a burden all the time, I didn't feel sorry for Iza near close to how I felt sorry for her mother, I think Iza was dutiful but not that affectionate and not trying to see what her mother actually wanted as opposed to what Iza thought would be good for her- the birthday party was the one example- taking her to a concert when all she wanted was games party and having some pastries with her daughter... I think there is a much darker side in this story than just mother and daughter trying to adjust to living together- "She will kill her-thought Antal- the way she almost killed me"- when Antal decided to ask the old woman to live with him.... I agree that it would be interesting to see more of Iza's perspective, though. I really loved the book and will definitely read more of Szabó's work!

[Britta]

I've finished the book today, and I liked it. Sad and heartbreaking. I think the portrayal of the women was really strong and the language was beautiful. I would have liked to learn more about Iza's motives, though.

[Marie]

Justyna wrote: " I think Iza was dutiful but not that affectionate and not trying to see what her mother actually wanted as opposed to what Iza thought would be good for her..."

I felt so sorry for Iza in this regard, though - I can’t recall one instance in the whole book of Ettie being frank about what she was feeling or what she wanted. Iza spent the whole time having to guess and getting it wrong. Granted, she grossly mis-stepped on a number of occasions (bundling her mother onto that bus the instant Vince’s funeral ended! Ouch), but there were just as many times where lots of hurt would have been avoided if only Ettie would communicate. For example, when Iza thought she might want to pass the time reading (as she had been known to do when they had previously lived together - really not an unreasonable assumption for Iza to make), rather than simply say “you know, my eyes are not so good these days, I don’t really do much reading any more”, Ettie decides to say nothing and stew in resentment that the suggestion had even been made.

Ettie’s recollections of Iza’s childhood were weirdly detached, observing her achievements with awe, rather than any emotional closeness. Hence little kid Iza taking to the kitchen cupboard to cry on her own, I guess. The stuff about her being ‘always right’ as a little girl felt unusual to me, particularly coming from a parent.

I don’t know if anyone here is into Myers-Briggs but I can’t help noting that Iza is a classic INTJ!

[Justyna M]

Marie wrote: "Justyna wrote: " I think Iza was dutiful but not that affectionate and not trying to see what her mother actually wanted as opposed to what Iza thought would be good for her..."

I felt so sorry fo..."

I think in a different way - not Ettie never saying what she wanted (she assumed that her smart worldly daughter knew the best...), but rather Iza never asking really, thinking she knew what was the best for her mother, the whole arrangement after the funeral being actually the best example (and that miserable birthday celebration that I can't get over...) I definitely come here from the place of remembering what happened after my grandfather died and my grandmother being asked by her children what she wanted to do and her deciding she wanted to live in her old cottage which she did for the rest of her life feeling fully independent and happy being around her neighbors etc. I think Ettie would be the happiest to stay in her house and she would have Antal if she needed anything. That is quite obvious, though.

[Jo]

Just finished and also loved it, there didn’t seem to be a false move by Magda Szabo right to the end. Marie’s comment about Iza was interesting in that her strength and independence was just assumed by her parents which can be it’s own burden. Antal, however, speaks about her withholding of generosity, her parceling out of emotions and we see that in her desire to have her mother with her but on her terms, seen but not heard like a child. I had sympathy with her as her grief was real and her control freak nature could be a defense mechanism but she seemed so clueless of the emotions of those around her.

I was interested in how each section was labeled Earth, water, fire and air and am sure whole dissertations could be written on that but if anyone has a cliff notes version I’d be interested.

This was just a thoughtful, beautiful, heart-breaking book with great characterization and one that will stay with me for some time. I know I’ll be seeking out more Magda Szabo in the future.