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Footnotes 2017-2018
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Reading challenge dilemma. What would you do?
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by
ShazM
(new)
Oct 29, 2018 06:19AM
I needed to read a book set in a nudist camp for a challenge. I don't have anything like that so I looked online and bought a cheap e-book about a murder in a nudist camp. But it's rubbish! I've only got about 10% of the way through and I just can't bear to carry on. The spelling is awful, the dialogue is wooden and most of the descriptions are of peoples' bodies. But.....what about the challenge? I don't really want to give up and I don't really want to spend any more money! So, two questions - would you give up or persevere with the book you'd already bought? Alternatively, do you have any suggestions for something better to read involving nudist camps?
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Wow! That's a strange challenge-lol. Is the book you started a long book? If not, I might, and I stress might continue on at it-skimming the descriptions of body parts. Sorry I can't offer any suggestions
Are there a myriad of books to choose from in this unusual genre?
I can't say I can think of one I've read that fits that description, but there are a couple of goodreads lists. They're short, but maybe you'll find something here or here
I am with Joanne. How long is this book? If it is not super long, I would probably just power through, write a scathing review, and check it off my challenge list! lol.That is only because it seems like quite a narrow genre. If it were something more broad I would totally encourage you to go read something else....
If it was extra painful I’d probably try desperately to find an alternative.
I’d probably persuade myself that close enough was good enough for the challenge, lol! Alternatively I had a quick hunt and there’s a murder mystery called ‘Shot in the Buff’ available for free on kindle unlimited or 99c on main Kindle - the reader reviews suggest it’s amusing.
Except I suspect it’s exactly the one you’ve got that is so awful ... Back to plan A!
Man, this is so specific! I really hope someone can help you find an alternative...
BookRiot has a podcast to seek out recommendations (called Get Booked) and if they are time sensitive you can note that in the subject line of your email... worth a shot and just weird enough they may make it a priority.
Thanks everyone! It isn't actually Shot in the Buff so maybe I'll look at that one. I can't tell how long it is as I can't seem to get page numbers up but it seems longer than I'd expect for something like this! I haven't been doing reading challenges for long so that's why I don't want to give up on the category. I don't think I've read anything so excrutiatingly bad before. Listen to this....Off-duty police officer Stacy Carter lie naked in his queen-sized bed, his head resting on the chest of his lover. For the last half-hour, he made passionate love for the first time in three weeks.
"That was great!" he said.
"Yeah, it was great for me, too. Did you come okay?"
"Totally, the strongest orgasm I've had in a long, long time. You are the best!"
See what I mean? It's all like that!
ShazM wrote: "Thanks everyone! It isn't actually Shot in the Buff so maybe I'll look at that one. I can't tell how long it is as I can't seem to get page numbers up but it seems longer than I'd expect for someth..."Oh. Oh my.
You may have found a candidate for “Britain’s most dreaded literary prize” the Bad Sex Award.
LOL! Oh no... I'm sorry, but that quote did make me laugh! I'm afraid I have no suggestions for you!
LibraryCin wrote: "LOL! Oh no... I'm sorry, but that quote did make me laugh! I'm afraid I have no suggestions for you!"Passages like that are why I have the guilty pleasure of intentionally seeking out stories that have won the bad sex award!
Funny thing is, I don't really read romance, but... when the writing is a trainwreck, I know I'm in for a hilarious ride. Er... pun not intended, but I typed it and what's done is done! :-D
Laughing so hard right now!! Come on, now you have to finish it, just to feed us more quotes. Call it community service 😂
Oh My! have not laughed like this in a while-and I am with Kate-we need to hear more-And aren't you glad it's not an Audio Book???🤣🤣🤣🤣
LiteraryMania wrote: "ShazM wrote: "Thanks everyone! It isn't actually Shot in the Buff so maybe I'll look at that one. I can't tell how long it is as I can't seem to get page numbers up but it seems longer than I'd exp..."Is this really an award?
Oh no! You mean now I have to read it so I can "read" it out to you? I listen to audio books in the car so I'm definitely not looking to see if there is an audio version. I don't think my insurance premiums would stand it!
ROFL, that was terrible! I sympathize, I would not be able to finish the book either. I'll see if I can find anything for you. But what is the title of this one?
I have an ecopy of Bare-Naked Lola that I can email you, if you want it. PM me your email address and let me know what format - epub or mobi (for Kindle)
ShazM wrote: "Thanks everyone! It isn't actually Shot in the Buff so maybe I'll look at that one. I can't tell how long it is as I can't seem to get page numbers up but it seems longer than I'd expect for someth..."OMG, okay that gave me the best laugh I've had in awhile.
That's actually a published book? It gives me hope for my own writing . . .
KateNZ wrote: "Laughing so hard right now!! Come on, now you have to finish it, just to feed us more quotes. Call it community service 😂"Ditto.
Laughter is the best medicine.
OMG, I can't stop.
In the spirit of being actually helpful (though it is hard to type and do research while laughing like a hyena).https://www.goodreads.com/list/show/8...
https://www.alibris.com/search/books/...
My dog is staring at me.
I figure some of these have to be available on Kindle for less than a dollar or two.
ShazM wrote: "Thanks everyone! It isn't actually Shot in the Buff so maybe I'll look at that one. I can't tell how long it is as I can't seem to get page numbers up but it seems longer than I'd expect for someth..."Wow. It sounds like something a 12 year old would write if they knew that much about sex (sadly, some probably do!)
It would be extremely difficult for me to finish a book written that badly for a challenge! You already have some good suggestions.
Personally, I don't see the appeal to this sort of living, but could see possibilities for fiction in it.
Joanne wrote: "LiteraryMania wrote: "ShazM wrote: "Thanks everyone! It isn't actually Shot in the Buff so maybe I'll look at that one. I can't tell how long it is as I can't seem to get page numbers up but it see..."Ha. Yes, it's a from The Literary Review. From what I understand, it's pretty well known amongst the Brits! I stumbled across it a couple of years ago.
Here is the 2017 shortlist complete with excerpts from the... um... lucky winners.
Actually, you've all changed my point of view about carrying on. It is incredibly funny if you look at it that way. The book is called Nudist Resort Murder Nudist Resort Murder: A Novel and actually has quite a good star rating but I'm guessing those are friends and family!I realise it's been deliberately set in the nudist resort for the shock factor but it is meant to be about a murder. You've got two dead people so far at 18% in and all the narrative is about what the people at the resort are thinking about the people they're looking at. Even when the police investigate they're doing so naked (undercover) and their thoughts are all about the people they're looking at! I think they've forgotten the dead bodies!
This is what one police officer thought, while lounging naked in the hot tub:
Vicky had to admit she had never seen two more perfectly formed breasts on any woman she ever saw naked. From junior high school through high school and junior college, she saw many naked females. But the woman across from her was a winner in the chest department.
Bwah ha ha ha, omg I can't understand why you don't love this book. It is cracking me up! It's so bad; it's good.
annapi wrote: "I have an ecopy of Bare-Naked Lola that I can email you, if you want it. PM me your email address and let me know what format - epub or mobi (for Kindle)"That sounds much better, thanks, I will!
ShazM wrote: "Actually, you've all changed my point of view about carrying on. It is incredibly funny if you look at it that way. The book is called Nudist Resort Murder [book:Nudist Resort Murder: A Novel|90641..."Happy to hear you've had a pleasant perspective shift! I can't wait to read your review when you've finished. I have a feeling you'll have some real gems for us!
ShazM wrote: "Actually, you've all changed my point of view about carrying on. It is incredibly funny if you look at it that way. The book is called Nudist Resort Murder [book:Nudist Resort Murder: A Novel|90641..."...oh don't stop now I need to hear more
😂
"a winner in the chest department" ... :D OMG!
Meli wrote: ""a winner in the chest department" ... :D OMG!"🤣🤣
Just so you know, the writing isn't just bad during the sex scenes, of which there are many. This is from the very start of the book:Who would kill Mike? I ask myself again. My eyes pierce the field of nudists probably wondering the same question, wondering if the murderer is still among us? Who could have killed Mike? Could they still be here, standing naked around us, blending in and eventually returning to their home outside the resort? Would the police learn who did such a horrible thing to Mike? I wondered how Mike died? Was he shot, stabbed, poisoned, strangled? Or perhaps thrown off a high cliff around here? I knew eventually I would learn the facts.
I am persevering. I have got to 67% now. I am going to finish this.
OMG that sounds like really bad porn! So so bad!Keep sharing with us and we'll laugh you through it. Some things are so bad you just need to finish them and then use them as an anecdote forever. You are far enough along, it shouldn't take that long.
If you feel yourself getting frustrated, try reading it out loud and imagine our reactions!
What a weird and oddly specific category. I would think you'd end up reading bad erotica to fulfill this category.
ShazM wrote: "Just so you know, the writing isn't just bad during the sex scenes, of which there are many. This is from the very start of the book:Who would kill Mike? I ask myself again. My eyes pierce the fi..."
O Lordy-are we sure enough, that everyone is naked LOL
Those murderous nudists! My goodness, they could put on an outfit at any moment and blend seamlessly into society, but why do that when one may remain a naked suspect??? Stay tuned as suspect, Samuel, dons a Speedo.
Anita wrote: "Those murderous nudists! My goodness, they could put on an outfit at any moment and blend seamlessly into society, but why do that when one may remain a naked suspect??? Stay tuned as suspect, Samu..."Shocker! He dons a Speedo! That's really a 'cover up'! *snicker*
Anita wrote: "Those murderous nudists! My goodness, they could put on an outfit at any moment and blend seamlessly into society, but why do that when one may remain a naked suspect??? Stay tuned as suspect, Samu..."😂
Loving this, Shaz! And snorting over the Speedos (known colloquially this side of the world as ‘budgie smugglers’, if that cheers up anyone’s day) I may need to bookmark this thread so I can look at it every time I tell myself that I would be hopeless at writing a novel ...
This reminds me of a movie I saw with my kids--it was so funny I was laughing out loud. I thought it was a spoof on the original Godzilla movies, but it turns out it was just a really, really bad movie. Godzilla vs Mechagodzilla (1974). Okay, no nudists or porn in that film, but the same level of writing and story line, etc.
KateNZ wrote: "Loving this, Shaz! And snorting over the Speedos (known colloquially this side of the world as ‘budgie smugglers’, if that cheers up anyone’s day) I may need to bookmark this thread so I can look..."
Or banana hammocks...
Well, dear readers, I finished it. Thank you for being with me through this ordeal. I have posted a review over in other books so do please check it out. I have added a hidden spoiler even though I don't think any of you would be daft enough to buy this book but you should read it because then you'll know just how cheated I feel.As a thank you for your sympathy I will leave you with these last words:
Mitch fell so deep in love. He cherishes anything his thirty-year-old wife says. With her perfect bosom, he is proud to be seen with her everywhere.
Our tennis set was coming to an end. Vicky was serving to me as my eyes focused on her delectable breasts. The plastic surgeon did marvelous work.
You made those two paragraphs up right? Shazam? Please tell me those weren't actually in your book. OMG! Was this self published? Can't wait to see your review lol.
Anita wrote: "You made those two paragraphs up right? Shazam? Please tell me those weren't actually in your book. OMG! Was this self published? Can't wait to see your review lol."I do solemnly swear that those two paragraphs are in this book. I've wondered if it was self published. It said that it was professionally edited but if so it was a bad job. I might see if I can google the author as I can't even tell from the writing if it's a man or a woman. On the other hand I've wasted enough time on this already so I probably can't be bothered!
ShazM wrote: "Anita wrote: "You made those two paragraphs up right? Shazam? Please tell me those weren't actually in your book. OMG! Was this self published? Can't wait to see your review lol."I do solemnly sw..."
LOLOLOLOL - - thank you so much for finishing this and providing so many belly laughs. I'm sure you hated every bit of this book, but I've quite enjoyed it!
Another thing to add to this thread.From my limited knowledge about nativism, isn't the whole point of it that it's NOT sexual. It's supposed to be about being free from society's confines and judgement not checking out everyone around you and (pun intended) sizing them up!
Jess wrote: "Another thing to add to this thread.From my limited knowledge about negativism, isn't the whole point of it that it's NOT sexual. It's supposed to be about being free from society's confines and ..."
That's what I thought. In many ways the thought of feeling air on your skin etc etc sounds like it could be nice but most people don't do it because of self-consciousness and people who do do it say oh well you get used to it and you don't think about your own or other people's bodies anymore.
I remember my Dad telling me once that he had tried it a few times on beaches and liked it. But then he admitted that he mostly hid in the sand dunes! I don't remember how old I was when he told me but I'm not sure there's a good age for finding that out about your Dad!
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Books mentioned in this topic
Bare-Naked Lola (other topics)Nudist Resort Murder: A Novel (other topics)
Bare-Naked Lola (other topics)
