Question: profanity in dialog

[Dennis]

Reviews are coming in for our newest scifi thriller. Some are five star and no mention of the profanity. Some reviewers are put off by it, and focus on it and give it two stars. I would love to hear the opinions/experiences from readers, and from other writers, of using profanity with such characters as: navy seals, Russian thugs, and a foul mouthed lawyer.

[Rebecca]

As long as it's appropriate for the character and the story (and the book is targeted correctly at adults) then I don't have any issue with it. Like with most things, violence and sex and profanity are all fine if it's not gratuitous and it furthers the character and plot.

Realistically, a Russian thug wouldn't be dropping 'fudge' and 'golly gosh' - you have to paint an accurate picture or the story won't feel authentic.

There are always going to be people who get offended easily, it's a shame they feel the need to rip up a book in a review when it's just a taste preference.

[S.R.]

I agree with Rebecca. In that same vein, I would elaborate that some annoying things that characters do can be the very tools that shape them as a full fledged person. So even though it may bother some readers who personally don't like it or agree it, I wouldn't let that deter me from still implementing it.

Also having certain occupations don't necessarily guarantee what kind of personality a person will have. So if I need some kind of...I don't know, justification for my characters' behavior, I try to look at why they do the things they do on a personal level to make them real as possible, rather than dress them up in like a stock/stereotypical personality based on their job or what city they're in.

For example:
There could be a NYC lawyer who was raised in a super uptight christian home where even saying "gosh darnit!" or "ugh, jesus christ!" was considered swearing. So as a kid, if he would stub his toe and shout something like that, his parents would overreact - yell at him, punish him, make him pray excessively and beg God forgiveness. Just dramatically (traumatically) make him feel like he wasn't allowed to express himself when he was hurt or angry.

Now this guy could easily grow up to still live like that and appreciate that as some kind of sacred value, making him the adult that says "there's no need for foul language" if someone else so much as says "aw hell!" Or even better, if someone sighs and quietly goes "Damn..." in response to a super sad or messed up situation, this guy might show no emotion, say something like "don't throw a fit," and just get right back to business.

But if this guy grows up resenting that kind of upbringing, you know, being stifled in that way - in response to it as an adult, he might go out of his way to be loud and curse a whole lot to the point where even the other characters around them (and readers alike) who have no qualms about swearing and loudness would think it was excessive or obnoxious.

Does that mean I make him curse less or tone him down? No way. Just like I wouldn't make the other lawyer suddenly say a few mild swears or get stressed out about something he wouldn't even care about to make him seem less like a robot because some people might find that annoying.

My second guy is loud and swears too much on purpose because all of his life the people around him had been toning him down before he could even "tone up" and it was suffocating. So now, after breaking free from that repressive environment, he's overly expressive, overly emotional, and/or overly obscene and assertive with his language because he wants to be heard and he wants it to be clear that he won't be giving anyone the chance (or the power) to shut him down again. That's the personal, maybe even subconscious motivation that's there to be used as a tool of insight into not only who he is but why he is, which then leads to how and that's how we get to some backstory.

Sometimes we're not going to like everything about a character, but so long as its authentic, I don't find anything wrong with it being there. More importantly, I think the really juicy character stuff that can come out of little things like that is too good to pass up.

[Dennis]

Thank you so much for your comments. It was interesting that the profanity was mentioned but this reader did not seem to mind the sex androids.

Sometimes, facts are stranger than fiction: https://www.texasmonthly.com/the-cult...

[J.R.]

Readers like and dislike different things. No matter what you do, no matter how much you think it through, you're going to make choices in your storytelling that some readers will not like.

Most (the majority?) readers will expect salty language in certain genres and/or with certain characters. That said, there are also readers who don't like profanity period, don't care about the genre or why the characters are using the profanity, and will rate a book accordingly. Similarly, there are readers who don't like, say, first-person present-tense writing, and no matter how good your story is and no matter how good a reason you had for choosing that as your point-of-view and style, they will dock you accordingly. I've also seen readers leave bad reviews because a book is written in first-person ("overdone!") and third-person ("overdone!").

You can minimize bad reviews by sticking to things the majority of readers like; I've never read a review that said a story didn't have enough profanity, for example, but I've read dozens and dozens of reviews where people complained about profanity, especially when it's overdone. You can also consider whether you did make some bad choices. Having never read your writing, I can't comment on it specifically, but sometimes profanity is lazy writing; sometimes it's way, way overused (to the point it loses all shock value -- I once read a story where the f-bomb appeared seventy-two times on ONE page); and sometimes it is out of context/inappropriate for genre.

Otherwise, remember reviews are not really meant for the author, they are for other readers. So, potentially the reviews mentioning the profanity can even be helpful because they can help steer away some readers who will be offended by the language, whereas conversely a reader considering your book who does more than just look at the number of stars will see someone docked your story for profanity and, assuming that reader is in the majority who doesn't care, they will disregard that bad review as irrelevant to them.

[Derrick]

I think it has to fit the context and character. On the mean streets of Belfast during the worst of the Troubles swearing punctuated most sentences of those from those areas so to leave it out leaves a story less authentic. You would not hear many IRA or UDA men using "frig it". So colourful language may be par for the course with certain characters and oh just golly gosh if you don't like it.

[A.]

I guess it depends on who your target audience are and what they expect from the genre.

George R R Martin swears a lot, I don’t see that diminishing his fan-base.

I’ve used some profanity in my writing, because it feels it would just be dishonest if the characters didn’t swear... especially in the seedy circumstances... But then again, it wouldn’t make or break the story.

[David]

Personally my novel has a few characters that swear, but both the primary narrators don't because they were raised in families where that wasn't normalized. So swearing becomes something that shows that the characters are different and express themselves differently. I even have one character who doesn't like when other characters swear. I think including a character like that can make the more uptight readers actually chill out a bit because they feel that their view is represented. So long as you don't make that character a total wet blanket all the time.

But if all your fucking characters swear all the fucking time then the book gets fucking boring to read because even when it's a real fucking bad time it can feel like it's only a sort of fucking bad time because a fucking anything time just fucking had no fucking meaning. You fucking get it?

[David]

My suggestion is: Would a person in the situation you are describing swear? For example, a calm activity does not call for swearing but one involving anger would.
The same applies to sex, with the additional component of the character's gender. Speaking in generalities, women tend to be more reluctant to jump into bed then men, but there are many situations where the reverse is true.
Your goal as an author is to make each scene believable. What you include or leave out is up to you.

[Chiky]

My MC swears a lot. And I mean A LOT. I think, however, that's normal in spoken language. I don't swear in spanish (native language) but in english I do and a lot. My friends swear a LOT in normal dialogue all day all days. So of course I find saying stuff like "shut the fuck up" or "what the fuck?" or "you're an asshole" completely natural. In fact, it's weird when people don't swear in certain ocasions, especially when they are angry or scared...
But well, that"s just how I see it.

[Reece]

I feel like the people who are going to get offended by profanity in a book are the same people who get offended by profanity in any capacity.

I don't really care either way if it is in a book or not, so long as it fits the character. That said, I don't like it when I read like two books in a trilogy only to find that suddenly the last book/last chapters/whatever suddenly have loads of profanity. It just feels off. If it's going to be in there, I like it to be consistent.