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Jamie's Writing > My Writing-Keeper of the Key.

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message 1: by [deleted user] (new)

Hey guys. This is story I am writing called Keeper of the Key. Its super bad but whatever. I'm not a good writer. But I hope you like it!


message 2: by [deleted user] (new)

Prologue

Once there was a man named Igor. Igor was a wicked man, hungry for power. He wanted to control the world the only way was to unlock the Demon Prison. By doing that he needed the key. The Key of Power. Crafted in the hands of the God Hestaphus. When used it gives you anything you want. Igor was searching for that. But Grendel the Wizard and crafted it into something nobody knew. It would glow in the hands of the keeper of the key. Igor always thought he was the keeper so he went to Grendel saying:
“ Grendel the the Key of Power to me! I am the Keeper! I deserve it! Give it to me!” Grendel gave the key to Igor knowing that it would not work. Igor held it in his hand.
“You liar!!!!” screamed Igor “give me the true key! Give it to me!”
“That is the Key of Power. You are not the keeper.” With that Igor fled with the key. He accidentally dropped it, down deep in the earth.

***********************************************

1000,000,000 years later some English men had found the key and decided to make it into to a ring for it’s shining gold was gorgeous. People bought it not knowing it was the ring of power. people past it down for many generations. Until one girl got it: Jane Wilde.


message 3: by [deleted user] (last edited Aug 11, 2014 06:37PM) (new)

Sunlight streamed through the windows. I woke up. I walked downstairs. I was an average 13 year old. Brown hair, Green eyes. Downstairs my younger sister Jenny, was eating pancakes. It was her birthday. She was 11.
“Happy Birthday Jenny!” I said.
“Thanks” Jenny said happily. My mom, Jane, entered the room.
“Oh hello Jacob! Your up!”
“yep.” I yawned. “but I’m still tired”
“Well, Better eat breakfast. You don’t want to be late for school!”

**********************************************

“your writing assignment will be to think of an imaginary land and describe it. What would it look like? Would there be different creatures? What would they be called? It’s due next Monday” said Ms. Jones “Class dismissed”
“Jacob! Jacob!” Jenny shouted across the hall.
“What?” I asked “ Don’t shout that loud! It’s embarrassing!”
“Look what my teacher got me!” she held up a kit-kat king sized candy bar and a ten dollar gift card to Target.
“Well you don’t have to make me jealous!”I said grumpily. “Let’s go home.”
“Sheesh”


**************************************


Jane walked out the door to go to the grocery store. She looked at her list, Banana’s, bread, broccoli, cake, onions, rice. Jane walked out the door.

Jane walked to the banana’s and picked five out.
“All done” she said. “I think I’ll do self checkout”
“That will be 12.79 dollars” said the machine. Jane swiped her credit card ing to the slot.
“Twelve dollars going down the drain” Jane said. “sheesh”

Jane walked toward the front door.
“We’ve been waiting for you” said a voice. Jane turned around. To men stood there. Tall and burly, broad shoulders, bald headed. The men were wearing sunglasses.
“Uh-hello, can I help you?”asked Jane frightened.
“You are going to hand us the key right. Now.” Said one of the two.
“What key?”
“Your key, the one you have.”
“you want my car key?” Jan asked.
“No, the key” The men walked up to her. \
“You’re coming with us.”one of the men said. They walked toward her. Jane screamed, she tried to run away but they caught hold of her and bound and gagged her.
“Mmmmm! Mmmmffff! Huhhh! Huhh!” Jane tried to resist but it was useless. The two men carried the struggling woman to their car and put her in it. The only thing that the men addent noticed was that Jane’s ring had slipped off in her finger asimst struggling.


message 4: by [deleted user] (new)

do you like it so far?


message 5: by Ruby, Just plain Epictastic. (new)

Ruby (rubyyy) | 2486 comments Mod
It's great! I just have a question or two:

Soooo, Jacob is the main character? And Jenny is his younger sister, Jane is is mother?


message 6: by Gianna (new)

Gianna | 8 comments Good stories!


message 7: by Kamiko (new)

Kamiko (kamiko1108) | 1125 comments Really good!


message 8: by [deleted user] (new)

Rubyfirewoods12 wrote: "It's great! I just have a question or two:

Soooo, Jacob is the main character? And Jenny is his younger sister, Jane is is mother?"


yes


message 9: by [deleted user] (new)

thanks guys!


message 10: by Kamiko (new)

Kamiko (kamiko1108) | 1125 comments No problem, you deserve it! Now, one question. Jacob's a girl, right?


message 11: by [deleted user] (new)

no.....


message 12: by [deleted user] (new)

tell me if I need to edit anything.


message 13: by Kamiko (new)

Kamiko (kamiko1108) | 1125 comments Oh, sorry I think I read the part about Jane wrong. I must have thought she was Jacob...


message 14: by Ruby, Just plain Epictastic. (new)

Ruby (rubyyy) | 2486 comments Mod
Okay, so maybe if you put a bit more description in that bit describing Jacob's appearance, like maybe mention there that he is a boy and maybe saying something about friends, or hobbies, or something. I was sort of confused, too. I thought the main character was a girl as well, maybe this will help?


message 15: by [deleted user] (new)

Rubyfirewoods12=^.^= wrote: "Okay, so maybe if you put a bit more description in that bit describing Jacob's appearance, like maybe mention there that he is a boy and maybe saying something about friends, or hobbies, or someth..."

thank you I will try and do that.


message 16: by [deleted user] (new)

Chapter 2
two giant oak trees







Jacob and Jenny neared home. They ran straight for it.
“Mom! Mom!” Jamie shouted. “Mom? Where are you?!”
“Shh! she could be sleeping!” I said.
“But usually she’s not. She usually comes to greet us. Maybe somethings wrong.” Jenny said as she ran toward the door. Jenny slipped. Probably on a rock. I thought. Jenny picked herself off and brushed her arm off. She picked up the pebble and stared at it.
“Jacob! Jacob! Mom’s ring! Come here! Mom’s ring!” Jenny shouted. I ran to her. I glanced at it and dashed in side.
“Mom! Mom! Where are you!?” I yelled. I ran to her room and flung open the door. She wasn't there. I search the bathroom, my room, Jenny’s room the TV room. She wasn’t in any of them. I ran back outside.
“Jenny, I think mom’s missing. Somethings wrong. And she didn’t go to the store, her car is here.”
“I’m going after her. I am. You can’t stop me, y-you can’t!” Jenny half-cried half-shouted. She ran into the house.
“Wait! Jenny! Come back!” I ran after her. “ You don’t know that she is missing! S-she could be with a friend somewhere! C’mon!” Jenny dashed out of the house with a backpack full of supplies.
“Wait! Jenny!” I shouted. I raced to my room and dumped out the contents of my backpack and filled it with clothes and a flashlight. Then I headed downstairs for some food, and I ran out of the house.
Jenny had gotten on her bike, so, I got on mine and chased after her.
“ Jenny, you don’t have to chase after her! We can call the police! Or Aunt Josie! Please come back!”
“NO!” Jenny yelled. Wind whistled in my ears as I chased after her. Eventually she started to tire, but that didn’t stop her. When we got to the woods she swerved in between trees, around fallen logs and through a tree with a hole in it! Jenny was going so fast that she crashed into a rock and dived head first in between two gigantic oak trees.


message 17: by [deleted user] (new)

Chapter 3
My decision



“Jenny!” I jumped off my bike and bolted to where the two tree’s Jeny tumbled through.
“Don’t!” said a voice. “Please don’t!” I swiveled around. There stood a boy, about 13 or 14. He had dirty blonde, tousled hair, and bright green eyes.
“Who are you?” I asked
“ I’m Louis” He held his hand out. I shaked it. “Nice to meet you, what’s your name?”
“I’m Jacob” I said. “Why can I not go through those trees? I don’t see any harm in it.” Louis sighed. “Fine, I’ll tell you. That is a passageway to Sornus, a magical land that you probably don’t know about. It’s not supposed to be discovered. It hasn’t been for thousand of years. Until now.”
“Wait” I said “I’m confused, magical lands don’t exist.”
“Yes they do.”
“No, they don’t”
“Ok. fine I’ll prove it to you.” Louis whistled. “Patrick! C’mere boy! C'mere!” Patrick walked out. He was a big, golden, shiny, Griffin.
“Whoa”
“It’s a shock, I know. But believe me, Sonora does exist.” Louis persuaded. “Really, that’s where sister-right?-went.”
“Yes she’s my sister. Oh and also, that still doesn’t prove it.” I said.
“How?”
“Because you didn’t prove that its a magical land to beleive you.”
“Yeah,well, just trust me.” Louis said.
“Why should I trust you? I just met you. And I’m going after my sister, and you can’t stop me.” I said folding my arms. “Anyway why is it so bad to go to a magical land? Thats cool!”
Louis sighed. “Something bad has been going on, I don't know what. People have been leaving to see what it is. They don’t return. I don’t want more people getting into trouble.”
“Well, that’s the more reason to go!” I persist. “If something bad is going on, then , well I want to get my sister so she doesn't get to trouble either!”
“No! you’ll get involved too! Please don’t go!” It was too late though, I had made my decision,
“I’m going in.” And with that, I dove in between the two trees.
“Aw, C’mon.” Louis said.


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