Blue Lake Academy discussion
Tae blindly followed Jonas, not quite exactly sure where they were going. He’d forgotten a little. Maybe it was shock. Like when you fell under a wave and didn’t know which way was up or down.
He didn’t realize they were in the dorm until Jonas let go of his hand. He looked around and realized a little bit that maybe it was messy. He should clean it up. Jonas was already making his bed, so Tae started to do it to, spending way too much time making everything straight and perfect. When he was finally finished, he joined Jonas on the couch. He shook his head. He’d hardly seen very many movies.
Peering out from behind his computer, Jonas watched as Tae meticulously cleaned his bed. That was good, something else for him to focus on besides his grief. Jonas knew that it wouldn't do any good for Taeyun to hold in his feelings but he thought it would be good for him to get a break from the sadness just for a while before it all came crashing down again. When he finally came to join him on the couch, Jonas put an arm around him, and grabbed a pillow to put the laptop on. The newest laptop money can buy, it was light but the screen was big and perfect for watching movies in bed. When Jonas couldn't sleep he would go under his covers so he didn't wake Taeyun up and watch movies late into the night. "It's romantic and funny and just... perfect." Jonas loved that movie. It had horrible special effects but he loved it anyways. Pressing play, he planted a kiss on Tae's forehead before resting his head against Tae's hair, tilting his head as he watched the movie.
((Have you seen the movie?))
{yes … a while ago}
Tae didn’t do anything except for nod along to Jonas’s statement. There wasn’t really anything he needed to say. He settled his gaze on the movie, trying to absorb as much of it as he could. Still, though, it felt as if he were watching from afar, from a long distance away. It was like he was behind a glass wall, viewing everything but not able to interact with his feelings. He embraced the numbness, though. At least it was a release from the hurt.
As they watched the movie, Tae tried to laugh when Jonas laughed. Even if he didn’t understand the joke. It was hard to follow at times, partly because he was zoned out and partly because of all the accentedEnglish. He was still staring as the credits started rolling. Even as he could feel Jonas’s warmth next to him, he was cold. He dug his feet under Jonas’s thigh and leaned closer to him, shaking slightly. Maybe it was shock.
Jonas loved the movies. Part of the reason being an actor was so fun was because he got to create entire worlds that didn't exist in real life. Movies let him leave this boring world for a little while. But today he could hardly focus on the movie at all. Instead his gaze always slid back to Taeyun before quickly flitting away before the other boy could notice. He could tell that Tae wasn't enjoying himself at all, although he was trying hard to look like he was. It seemed that nothing was going to help relieve the shock and grief he was feeling. All Jonas had wanted was to just help him forget for a little bit, and he had failed. "You're very cold." He murmured softly when he touched Taeyun's icy hands. Jonas always ran quite hot so he was used to other people feeling cool against him, but Tae felt like a sheet of ice. Throwing a blanket over both their shoulders, he wrapped it tightly around them and put his arms around Tae. They felt close enough together that there wasn't an inch of space between them, and Jonas liked that. He could feel Taeyun shaking beside him like a leaf. Maybe it would be best if he just got the rest of his feelings out right now, not let them build up.
"What's your favorite memory of Noona?" He asked while gently stroking Tae's hair.
((UGH. I am terrible with helping grieving people, so that is why this sucks. Sorry.
{no, it’s really sweet! we can timeskip to when he starts feeling better, if that would be easier for you? I honestly think you’re doing fine, though, lol}
Tae rested his face in Jonas’s neck and just breathed steadily for a few minutes. Trying to think, but not think about his question. It was like he was allowed to skim the surface and look for memories, but he couldn’t dive too deep, or he’d drown.
“Bubbles,” he finally spit out, covering his face with his hands immediately after. He’d meant to explain, but the weight of the word was just too much. When he’d collected himself again, he started talking quieter, almost incomprehensibly. “She used to have a cat … that would chase bubbles, and it made her so happy …” he twisted so that he faced away from Jonas. He could look at anything except another face right now. Another person who’d lived through her existence. “Her name was … ah … Daegu? Like the place where she grew up …” Strangely enough, talking to the wall didn’t hurt as much. Maybe it was because only he knew if his words were meaningful or not. His brain was just having a field day with all of this.
Jonas inhaled softly along with Tae, matching his breathing. Even in his state of mess, Taeyun still smelled good. Jonas didn’t quite know what the smell was, it was just something sweet and calming that he could never quite place. The other boy was quiet for so long that Jonas thought he might have fallen asleep. With the emotional overload of the day, he figured sleeping would be good for Tae. “Oh” he said, startled slightly when Tae finally answered his question. It was a nice memory. He hasn’t really gotten a chance to get to know Tae’s grandmother all that well but it was nice to know that she and her grandson had kind memories together. He had never been close to his grandparents, not in the way Tae had been with Noona. She was the last family he had. But Jonas was determined to make sure he knew that even if his family was gone, he wasn’t alone.
“That sounds cute.” He admitted.
((Where do you want to skip too?))
{maybe a week or two? so then tae’s met his family and he’s getting to know them and he’s also not so caught up on his grandma anymore}
((Okay do you want to post first? Maybe he brings Jonas with him to meet them or something))
{sure! do we just wanna keep it on this thread then?}
((Yeah.... I don't see where else to put it))
{ok}
It had been two weeks since Taeyun’s grandmother had died. He’d spent the first few days enveloped in grief and numbness, unable to truly comprehend what had happened. Sadness does fade with time, though, and he’s been much more stable recently. He’s trying to stay open and talk about his feelings more, because keeping them inside and just letting them sit without ever getting them out wasn’t helping at all.
Last week, they finally found a family willing to adopt him after intensive searching. Thankfully, they lived in the same town, so Tae could keep going to Blue Lake Academy. They lived closer to Jonas’s house, too. He didn’t really know them that well yet, but he’d already fallen in love with his new little sister, Isabella. She was in first grade and the cutest thing since puppies. He was having a bit of trouble adjusting, of course, but it was okay. Tae’s english was also improving, what with constantly being surrounded by it.
Today, he had gone to school, like normal, and had an okay day, like normal. He’d driven himself this time, though, in a not beaten up car. It had been bought by his new parents from a used car dealer, but it was nicer than anything he’d ever owned. He was supposed to pick up Bella from her school before going home. He’d agreed to meet Jonas in front of the school, so he was waiting there for him. He wanted him to meet his new family. They were so sweet, and Tae was sure they’d love Jonas, and he would love them.
Jonas had been checking in on Taeyun much more in the past few weeks than usual. He seemed to be recovering a little bit although he knew that the pain from Noona's death would never truly heal. Not that it should, that pain helped people remember where they can from. Their ancestors. He had also been trying to keep up with the long and complicated process of Tae getting adopted. It was hard to find families willing to adopt older kids, especially boys since they had a reputation for making trouble. Needless to say he was more tired than he ever had been. Between Tae, school work and a new film he was working on, sleep was hardly a priority. He spent most of his day in a daze of exhaustion but today was different. Today he was full of energy and he couldn't wait to get out of class. Unfortunately he had missed some school for filming and he had to do a test after school. He knew that Taeyun was waiting for him to finish to introduce him to his new family. Jonas hadn't met them yet and he was so excited to.The second he finished the test he practically threw it at the teacher and sprinted out of the room. He had already heard so much about Taeyun's little sister and he was so excited to meet her.
"Hey there, Handsome." he said with a grin, sliding into the passenger's seat. He leaned over and gave Taeyun a quick kiss. He was practically jumping from one foot to the other with energy. He had been waiting and waiting for this day.
Taeyun’s face lit up when he saw Jonas. He smiled widely and buckled his seat belt, throwing his homework in the back for now. He leaned slightly into the sweet kiss, blushing a little from the compliment. Tae started the car, and while he drove, started talking about Bella. “Okay. She’s not shy at all, and she’ll probably say something rude on accident, but don’t be offended. She’s only six and she doesn’t know what she’s saying. She’s also really tiny, so be careful or else you might step on her.” He was so proud of himself when he finished, for his nearly perfect English.
He pulled in to the school parking lot and parked the car but didn’t get out just yet. They were ten minutes early.
Jonas smiled as Tae proudly explained to him what his little sister was like. He had heard this all before, Taeyun talked about little Bella non-stop. He was impressed with the almost perfect English and he was even happier that Tae was talking so much. When they had first met, Tae had been quiet and more reserved. He was by no means loud now but Jonas certainly felt like he could get the other boy to talk more and more these days."Don't stress about it. I'm sure she's adorable." He grinned and leaned back in his seat. It was a much cheaper car but the second hand seats were more comfortable than the stiff ones in his car. The bell rang and older students started to stream out of the school. Kids all ages laughed and played together, bright coloured bags and lunch boxes showed off in the sun.
"Do we go in and get here or...?" He trailed off. He was an only child so he didn't really know how to deal with younger kids or what they were capable of doing. As far as he was concerned he was going to treat Bella like a little adult.
Tae smiled. “She is.” He’d never thought about having siblings when he lived with Noona, but it was really something he’d missed out on in childhood. He was so happy that he could make up for it now.
”We have to go in,” Tae replied, unbuckling his seat belt and opening the door slowly to make sure he didn’t hit any little kids. He went around to Jonas’s side and waited for him to get out. He was so excited for Bella to finally meet him, even though she’d probably hate him at first sight. She’d warm up to him eventually, he knew.
This was really new feeling for Tae. He’d never had anything about himself that he’d really wanted to show to someone. Nothing he’d ever been proud of about his life. He was still broken over Noona, but he was getting over it, and life was actually just a little bit better.
((Sorry for the wait!))Sliding open the door, Jonas stepped out into the warm sun and smiled over at Tae. He looked so excited, like Bella was this amazing thing that he was so proud of and couldn't wait to share with the rest of the world. He loved seeing Taeyun like that. The little sparkle that he got in his eyes when he was truly excited about something. Jonas knew that little glint of happiness well because he knew that his eyes got like that every time he just looked at the other boy. Walking towards the school door he glanced around, trying his hardest to spot Bella from how Tae had described her. But there were little kids everywhere and he knew it was hopeless. It would be like trying to find a goldfish in an entire lake.
Taeyun started over towards Jonas’s side and took his hand, leading him towards the school. Bella and the other first graders always waited in the room for their parents, unless they took the bus. Second grade and older could walk out if their parents didn’t want to come and get them.
Tae led Jonas inside and up the stairs to the first grade room and waited outside the door. He could hear the teacher just finishing up the lesson and he peeked in to find Bella before she dismissed them.
((Who should play Bella?))Lacing his hands with Taeyun's he followed the other boy into the school. It was a sweet little school. A little run down but there were brightly coloured papers on the wall and art made by the kids was stuck everywhere. School had always been different for Jonas, he went to private school which was mostly for influential and wealthy family. There, having famous parents wasn't exactly news although it was still different because he himself was an actor as well. He peered around, not used to seeing so many kids around.
{I can}
Taeyun leaned against the wall beside Jonas, waiting, until the bell rang and the teacher called out to the kids to have a good day. The kids meandered into the hallway. Bella eventually came out the door, and a small thrill went through Tae’s stomach as he saw her. He waved a little and she saw him, running over. “Tae Tae!” She called in her tiny little voice, and Tae smiled widely. “Bella!” He responded, holding out his arms and swinging her up into his arms immediately.
Totally entranced by his surroundings, Jonas didn't notice when Bella came out the door. He knew sort of what she looked like but not really. The only way he would have known that it was her was by the way she ran up to Taeyun. He was busy looking at some picture a kid had drawn when he heard someone say Tae's name. He spent enough time with his boyfriend now that he responded to Tae's name as though it was his own. He didn't see anyone at first and then looked down to see an adorable looking girl standing by Tae. He smiled brightly when she was swung up into her now-brother's arms. He had always wanted siblings and he could tell that Taeyun already loved his new little sister.
Bella balanced on Tae’s hip with a big smile on her face, until she saw Jonas. “Who are you?” She asked suspiciously, her smile turning down slightly at the corners.
Taeyun rolled his eyes at Jonas. He’d warned him of this. Bella was accepting, but only after you’d proved yourself to her. He hoped that Jonas being his boyfriend would be enough, he really did. Bella was truly a sweetheart.
Jonas wasn't daunted by Bella's downturned lips and annoyed look. Tae had warned him enough about his little sister bad manners when it came to meeting new people. He had been so ready to meet Bella, but when she asked him who he was, he suddenly realized that he didn't know what to tell her. Did she even understand the concept of boyfriends and girlfriends and all that stuff yet? He didn't understand kids at all."I'm your brothers friend." He told her with the brightest smile he could manage.
"I've been excited all week to meet you!" He added, hoping she felt that was a compliment. He risked a peak at Taeyun to see how badly he was doing with this.
Taeyun mimicked Bella’s face until she finally smiled and giggled a little, probably because he looked so ridiculous. Then she turned her gaze back to Jonas and pursed her lips. “Are you his boyfriend?” She asked suspiciously.
Tae winced slightly and reached down for Jonas’s hand. He’d mentioned, like, once that he had a boyfriend, and it was during dinner and he was talking to his parents, just about his life. She was smarter than he’d realized. He’d just expected it to go over her head. Showed how much he knew about little kids.
"Aren't you smart!" He said with a slight smile and a shake of his head. When he had been Bella's age, he doubted he ever would have made that connection. "Yeah, I am." He felt Tae's fingers brush against his and wrapped his hand around Tae's and looked at him helplessly. He didn't know if that had been the right answer, but he desperately hoped it was. He didn't want to lie to Bella but he wasn't sure if Tae had been okay with that. It had only been a minute or two and he had already messed up. This wasn't how he had planned things. It was stupid that he was so stressed out about impressing a little kid, but she was Tae's sister! He needed to make her like him.
Bella nodded slightly, but it was uncoordinated and adorable. She smiled again. “Tae Tae likes you.” Tae breathed out a small, relieved sigh. He hadn’t really known what she was going to say, but it seemed like she was okay with him.
Tae put Bella back down on the ground. She immediately started talking with one of her little friends, so Tae turned to Jonas and gave him a reassuring smile. He could tell this was totally stressing Jonas out, and he didn’t quite know why, but he wanted to help. He kissed him gently while Bella wasn’t looking and then grabbed her hand and pulled her towards them, ready to go home.
It felt like he was giving an audition for a movie he had been hoping to be in forever. Except he had never been so nervous for an audition. Plus, Bella wasn’t exactly your average producer, he didn’t know what answers she wanted from him. Luckily she seemed to except what he said and then shifted topics to talk to one of her friends. He smiled uncertainly at Taeyun.“I like him too.” He murmured when Tae kissed him. He was glad that introductions were over, at least with Bella. He was even more terrified to meet.
“You get to sit in the awesome chair!” He grinned at Bella as thy walked to the car. Her booster seat was in the back since she couldn’t sit in a normal car seat legally.
Bella pursed her lips, thinking about it for a while. “Okay,” she finally said, shrugging. She acted as if it wasn’t a normal occurrence, which Tae found adorable. He looked over at Jonas with a silently laughing face, his smile so wide that his teeth were showing.
When they got to the car, Tae put Bella in the back and buckled her in before going around to the front and then stopping in his tracks. “Jonas,” he asked quietly, a little bit ashamed. “Can you drive?” He’d never driven Bella anywhere himself, and he was not confident in himself at all.
Jonas couldn't help but grin back at Tae like the Cheshire cat. He hardly ever saw Taeyun smile that widely and it was nice to know that Bella made him that happy. Cause Tae wasn't just smiling, he was grinning and it wasn't often that he did that. "Oh." Jonas gave Taeyun a surprised look and then frowned. He only had his student license, he was still younger than Tae and he wasn't even a full on driver yet. He felt weird being responsible for driving a young kid. But he was a good driver and he'd never even gotten close to crashing so he figured it would be alright. Plus he didn't want Tae to stress out about driving Bella.
"Okay. Yeah of course I can. He smiled and kissed Tae on the forehead before walking around and switching to the drivers seat.
"Just give me the directions as we go."
Taeyun smiled again, a small, gratefull one. “Thank you,” he said as he slid into the passenger seat and buckled his seatbelt. He glanced back at Bella and saw that she was absorbed in reading her homework - a book called “I See …”. They were working on reading in her class. Tae looked ahead and waited for Jonas to start driving.
"Sure." He replied softly. He understood why Tae didn't want to drive. It was a lot of responsibility, but it wasn't like Jonas was that great of a driver either. After that he was uncharacteristically quiet. He was concentrating on driving and he didn't have the metal space to talk as well. Following the directions he got from Taeyun it wasn't long before they had pulled up in front of the house. A nervous feeling tugged at his stomach and Jonas's knuckles were practically white from holding onto the steering wheel so tightly. "Okay. We have arrived at the castle." He joked weakly, totally pale at the face.
((Sorry I skipped the drive if that's alright? I didn't think anything was going to happen during it.))
{lol that’s fine}
Tae kept his eyes on the road the whole time, even though he trusted Jonas with his life. He didn’t like cars.
When they finally got there, he got a slightly tingly feeling in his stomach. He wasn’t sure if it was excitement or nerves. Probably a mix. He got out of the car and helped Bella out of her booster seat, watching as she ran into the house to greet their parents. In the few minutes they had, Tae walked over to Jonas and offered him a reassuring smile. “It’s okay,” he said softly, tilting his head and grinning sideways at him as he slid his hand into Jonas’s. He could tell Jonas was a nervous wreck.
"I know... it's stupid. I just really want them to like me." Jonas stammered nervously. He felt utterly tongue tied. He usually did care that much what people though about him (although as a movie star that wasn't usually a good thing) but he wanted Tae's new parents to know that he wanted only the best for Taeyun. He paused to watch Bella run up and say hi to her parents, his chocolate brown eyes scrunched up below his nervous frown. "Okay." He took a deep breath and smiled at Tae before walking up the walk.
"Hi, i'm Jonas." He gave the couple the most brilliant smile he could as he introduced himself.
”Be yourself?” Tae offered, even though it was lame advice. He meant it though. If Tae loved him, then they would love him. They’d made a deal last night. And Tae irrevocably loved Jonas, so that wasn’t questionable. He squeezed his hand before letting go as Jonas went up to greet his parents while he went back to the car to get his bag.
Alice’s eyes lit up when she heard ‘Jonas’ coming from the boy’s mouth. She reached out a hand. “I’m Alice, it’s so wonderful to meet you!” She said, smiling. Mark (Tae’s dad) nodded to Jonas and gave him a knowing grin as he tried to get Bella down from the tree she’d shimmied up.
"It's nice to finally meet you too, Ma'am" Jonas replied, shaking Alice's offered hand. He didn't need to really be introduced to them by name. He knew so much about their family already, Taeyun talked about them non-stop. Jonas knew he would be hard pressed to find someone who loved his family so fiercely more than Tae did. He found it endearing and lovely to know just how much his boyfriend really loved his new family. It showed how big his heart was. He felt extremely formal with the whole Ma'am thing and all but he wasn't sure how else to do this. "She's quite the climber." He exclaimed, watching Bella monkey around in the tree.
Alice shook her head with the same bright smile. “I’m Alice to you, we don’t live in the south.” She laughed a little and motioned for Tae to come over. Mark went to help him with the bags from the car once he got Bella down. “Oh my goodness, yes. She’s a handful.” Alice said it with a sigh, but a smile at Bella.
Tae smiled widely at Jonas’s un-terrified expression. He came up beside him (slightly closer than friends would stand) and slid his hand through Jonas’s. “Let’s go inside,” Tae said quietly, smiling softly at Alice before making his way inside.
"Oh. Okay." Jonas said dumbly. Usually he was good at talking, of knowing what to say. At interviews, at home, he could always think of the right answers but he had also never been so nervous before. His tongue was totally tied up and he just turned to watch Bella being pulled down from the tree by Mark. "She's really smart." He commented offhandedly, feeling Tae's hand in his. He leaned slightly into Tae's warmth, letting it comfort him as his stomach lurched around with butterflies. Following him into the house, Jonas's eyes keenly took in everything around him. The house was not like the one he had at home at all. His house was a marble box, cold white and gold everywhere. This was warmer, more cozy.
Tae grinned at Jonas proudly. “I know,” he replied.
“Taeyun, dinner’s at six, okay?” Alice called as she went to get Bella from where she was playing in the yard. Tae nodded and followed Jonas inside. They were free to do pretty much anything, now that they’d mostly gotten introductions out of the way. Mark followed them inside and went to the kitchen to start getting dinner ready. When Tae started heading up the stairs to his room, Mark winked knowingly at him. “Appa!” Tae said indignantly. “I’m … showing him around,” he said, blushing a little.
The warm atmosphere immediately drew Jonas in and he felt more relaxed the second he stepped into the house. Following Tae up the stairs he only glanced down, puzzled at Tae's reaction since he hadn't seen what Mark had done. The stairs creaked just a little with the sounds of an older house but it was clean and airy and Jonas already really liked the family. One of the rooms had a bunch of dance shoes in it and it didn't take Jonas long to figure out that that was Tae's room. "Nice room." He exclaimed, peering in before running his hand along the wall and finding the light switch. He turned back and put his arm around Taeyun, leaning over to kiss him.
"Thank god that's over. I was so scared Tae. I don't even know why." He chuckled against Tae's lips. After the stress of meeting Alice and Mark, he was beyond happy just from the relief of it being over.
The first time Tae had seen his new house, he hadn’t really liked it. It had none of the cluttered coziness that he was used to, and he was terribly sentimental and always had trouble adjusting to new things. But he’d grown to see the extra space as a good thing. It really was a nice house.
Tae smiled when Jonas found his room. He knew him so well now, all he had to do was see some shoes and he’d know it was Tae.
Taeyun wrapped his arms around Jonas’s neck, kissing him back. “I don’t know why either,” Tae hummed in response, grinning slightly.
Resting his head in the crook of Tae's neck for a second he let out a deep sigh before finally letting go and further venturing into Tae's room. It was certainly his, with all the dance stuff and the pillows... pillows everywhere. To say that he understood Tae's obsession with pillows would be a lie, but he found it cute. Every time he woke up in the morning, the dorm floor would be covered in multi coloured pillows and Jonas very much enjoyed throwing them at Taeyun when he was in a playful mood. "So you like it here?" He asked, wandering about as he looked around the room. He was looking for something in particular, photos. Or really anything about Tae's childhood. He wanted to know about who his boyfriend and been before he came to BLA.
Tae shrugged. “It’s alright.” He liked the people way more than the house. Again, it was sentimentality. He thought of it as a problem, because it made him overly emotional and he got attached to the smallest things. Like Jonas’s index fingers, or a trinket he’d had on the kitchen counter in Noona’s house.
Tae crawled onto the bed and grabbed a pillow, placing it in his lap as he crossed his legs. “Do you like them?” He asked, a concerned expression coming over his face for a second.
((Wait is he asking about the photos? If he is can he have a photo of his mom? Just a thought.))
Jonas was quiet long after Tae asked him a question. He had found the photos on the drawer in the corner of his room. They weren't pretty photos with nice frames, the photos were lined with folds and dog eared flaps but there was something special about them. They were like second hand clothing, they had stories behind them. There were photos of a dog (Bada he was guessing) and Noona, who looked grumpy in every photo. But the one that really caught his eye was a photo of a woman. The woman was definitely pregnant and there was no denying the family resemblance between her and Tae. He glanced back at his boyfriend before picking up the photo and walking over, sitting beside him on the bed."That's your mom?" He asked hesitantly.
Tae scooted closer, resting his chin on Jonas’s shoulder with a smile, until he saw the picture. His eyes lit up a little, for a second, and then he went somewhere in his head, far away, to escape the world. He pulled himself out this time, though. Feelings, no matter how horrible they could be, were better than complete numbness. “Yeah.” He responded, smiling a slightly fake smile. He loved her so much. And she was gone.
Jonas watched Tae's face carefully. The way his eyes lit up and then went blank. He had seen that look before, the look where he was right in front of Tae, but that wasn't what his boyfriend was seeing. He was somewhere else entirely in a whole other world. "She must have been a great woman." He murmured softy, holding the picture gingerly in his hand. It was precious, a single memory of the woman who had birthed the amazing boy sitting in front of him. If she had been the one to make Taeyun who he was, then she must have been amazing.
"I mean, she made you right." He intertwined his pinkie with Tae's and stared at the photo with sad eyes. Some people lost too much too fast, he didn't understand how they ever recovered.
Tae bit his lip softly as his eyes filled with tears at Jonas’s words. Sometimes it happened like this, where he’d be okay, and he’d think he was going to look at a picture and not have a wave of overwhelming grief wash over him. But then it would come and push him under and he just wouldn’t know what to do. He buried his face in Jonas’s shoulder from behind him, letting out a sob. “I miss her, I miss her,” he whimpered, his tears staining Jonas’s shirt. And suddenly he wasn’t just thinking about his mom. It was Noona and Umma and Bada too. All gone, all gone.
Life was a witch with a b sometimes. It took away things that deserved to stay. They’d deserved to stay.
There was silence as Jonas gazed at the photo, his eyes searching every aspect of Tae’s mother. She looked so much like him it was scary. Well, he looked so much like her. But Tae’s mom was nothing more than a photo or an idea to Jonas. Like those war videos they saw in class, sad but detached. So he immediately thought that she looked like him, not the other way around. He was so engrossed in the photo that he almost jumped when he heard the sob torn from Taeyun’s throat.“Oh... Tae...” he murmured softly and twisted around so he could put his arms around Tae. With on hand he put the photo down gently. He could feel Taeyun’s tears soaking through his shirt but I didn’t mind. As much as he hated how sad Tae was, he liked knowing that there was so much trust in their relationship now.
“I know, I know you do.” He gently pulled Tae closer and tested his head in the crook of the boy’s neck.
“I know. I’m sorry I never got to meet her. What was she like?” He asked. He didn’t know if that was the right move but sometimes talking about it helped.
Taeyun leaned into Jonas’s warmth, clinging to his shirt. Sadness made him so cold. He was shaking again.
He reached behind Jonas and picked up the photo again, his chin resting on Jonas’s shoulder as he studied it with teary eyes. She was so pretty. If he looked closely, he could see a blur in the background - probably one of her rescued cats. He smiled a little through his tears. He wasn’t one of those people who could be happy for what happened. He cried because it was taken away. He could try though, to smile. Because she’d been here once.
He was so zoned out that he almost didn’t hear Jonas’s question. He snapped back into life and moved his face sideways, pressing his nose into the other’s neck. “She was really, really kind, and patient. And … I think … compassionate? Is that how you say it? She noticed a lot of things … that other people didn’t notice. She forgot things a lot though.” He smiled slightly at the memory. “She called us her stars.”
"Have you ever seen the Princess Bride?" He asked, grabbing the blanket and scooting closer to Taeyun so he could wrap the blanket around both of them.