| general commons

[[deleted user]]

With tears in their eyes, Kris turned to look at Oliver so confused by what had happened. Everything was calm so to speak, and he had enough common sense to know that he should have listened to Oliver, even if he despsied the idea. While they had known them when they awakened, nobody actually knew anything about Oliver, including themselves. He planned for it to stay that way, but Kris felt dirty. Like they had just been covered in the feeling shame, as if it were a tangible thing.

Kris knew he had violated Oliver in some shame or form but they couldn't begin to fathom what emtions they were beginning to feel. "I-I-I'm so s-so sorry. I-I didn't mean to-" He finally spat out sounding like a broken engine that had just sputtered out. Extreme guilt, and anger, and sadness had grown roots inside of them, but they didn't know how to react to this. Propping themselves up on their elbows, they began to inch away from Oliver.

[[deleted user]]

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[The Outsider (Whales or Whatever), gay eldritch whale god]

The experienced had left him thoroughly shaken, and after being an immovable object for hundreds upon hundreds of years, it was jarring, exhausting even. He stared at Kris, swallowing harshly and shaking his head, "It was an accident. You need to calm down." he said firmly, maintaining his composure despite the situation.

[[deleted user]]

The man was right. Kris needed to calm down. They were practically jerking around like a wire on the fritz, but they understood how to calm down. After awhile, it was more like a default. Taking in a deep breath, he sat up against the wall, before quickly scarmbling to his feet. How embarrassing. He cried as though he were child, not fully understanding that people considered twelve to be the age of a child. Shoving his hands into his pockets, he took his sunglasses that had somehow ended up across the tile floor, and tucked them into his jacket. Their eyes looked completely worn out, as if they hadn't gotten a day of sleep for years, they didn't even have the courage to look up at Oliver. Instead they remained silent, as they would have if another member of addermire had appeared. "I'll be off then." He grumbled, though not moving in fear of falling over once more. His little episode had stuck fear in his heart, and it showed. Anxiety was almost a tangible thing, whispering into their ear all the worst possible outcomes.

[The Outsider (Whales or Whatever), gay eldritch whale god]

"Stop" Oliver demanded, furrowing his brows. This was a bomb waiting to go off. Kris had far too much power to remain as vulnerable and volatile as this. "Pushing it all aside wont solve your problems, Kris. You need to speak, if not with me then I urge you to at least consider a counselor. Not for your own sake but for the sake of those around you - you have the potential to be something catastrophic" he warned.

[[deleted user]]

For once, they compliantly nodded their head before kicking at the ground below. Secretly wishing for it to swollow them up. He waited a few more second, to just maybe see if it would before turning his gaze behind Oliver. "What do you even want me to say? I said I was sorry." They shrugged their shoulders, but still did not move, he had never really seen Oliver this expressive, or at least dosen't remember. That thought kind of made him sad.

[The Outsider (Whales or Whatever), gay eldritch whale god]

Things lately had been off, to say the least. Oliver felt like the deepest vestiges of his humanity were ringing off the walls around him - walls of shimmering metal that only intensified the feelings that echoed along the corridors of his mind. He wasn't usually expressive, he wasn't usually friendly, he wasn't usually much of anything at all. But right now he was a mess. "... What is it you're feeling? What is it that's gotten you to this point?" he asked calmly, slowly sitting down on the bench that sat against the wall beside them. The hall was empty anyways, talking freely wasn't much of a risk.

[[deleted user]]

That was an interesting question. What was he feeling. They certaintly didn't know. Angry? Close, but that wasn't it. Depression? It was a symptom of what they were feeling but it still wasn't it. Leaning against the wall, he watched as Oliver took a seat, and slowly took a step away, not wanting another incident that left them both, or rather them exhausted. "Uhm. I dunno. I feel kind of.. stupid I guess. I don't remember who I am. Sometimes I can't remember my name." Taking a deep breath, he quickly checked each hall trying to make sure there were no lingering ears appearing where they had no buisness. "I'm afraid. Everytime I try to remember who I am, my amnesia gets worse. I can't get comfort from anybody because everytime I do, that happens. I don't know who my parents are. Or if they are even alive. If I even had any. I don't even remember where I was a week ago. It's like anytime I try to do anything I can't. I'm virtually useless."

[[deleted user]]

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[The Outsider (Whales or Whatever), gay eldritch whale god]

Oliver listened closely to him, nodding along and furrowing his brows in concern. He knew all too well what Kris was feeling. Kris hadn't yet adjusted to the void - it wasn't settling correctly. It hadn't with Oliver either, those first few centuries he spent struggling to learn who he was, his place in the universe. "Accept." he spoke calmly once Kris had finished. "Do not struggle against it, the more you fight, the more it will devour you. You need to think, you need to rest, allow yourself the time to be at peace without worrying about trivialities." he explained. He knew that some people rejected the void, which led to complications. The void was malevolent and jarring, it often fought back.

[[deleted user]]

Oliver's answer was not what he was expecting, at all, but he didn't have the energy to argue with him at the moment. Not like they usually did, they were so shaken up that any sign or resitance they might have wanted to give was not shown. "I just want to know who I am. How can I accept something, if I can't identify it? Peace is not something that comes easily for me. Oliver..." taking a deep breath he sat down next to him, and dared to look him in his pitch black eyes. It felt as though he was simply looking into a dark room, in which there was no room out. Nothing happend. What was going on? They weren't aware of Oliver had known, because they hadn't dared to tell much anyone except for Cara, who still kept them enrolled here, and the nurses. Who gave them the medication they needed to survive the day. "I don't remember anything before Addermire. That means that there is twelve or possibly more, years of history that I cannot seem to accumulate. I do my best to relax, but when I relax, I remember, just a bit, but then it's like someone covers it all up before shoving me out of my own mind. What is there to even accept? That I am a useless sack of meat that can barely function?"

[The Outsider (Whales or Whatever), gay eldritch whale god]

He knew what would help. But that'd be three of his members with his charms - three whole tethers directly to his suspended isle in the void, taking his energy. But Kris didn't need to know the sacrifice he was making. The stifling of Kris' connection to the void would allow them time to regain their memories. That was useful, that was something worth sacrificing for. "... I can help you. If you trust me." he said calmly, his voice lower.

[[deleted user]]

Narrowing their brown eyes, the finally turned away from Oliver, for fear of staring to long and having another epidemic. Truth be told, Kris didn't trust him. Oliver was werid. Weirder than any other kid in the Void house, and that was saying quite alot. "Do I honestly have any other choice besides suffering?" He was geuinely asking before stuffing their hands and their pocket, staring at their beat up and scuffed shoes, they hadn't actually taken these off unless it was to take a shower. For some reason they gave him a small sense of security, a small bit of routine that he actually knew.