Blurb for sequel - help please

[Angel]

How about something like this, Alex:

In this sequel to Written in Blood:

A teen serial killer who terrorised the village of Oakhurst is caught, but before he can see the inside of a cell he escapes, leaving behind a trail of bodies.

While Constable Melissa Turner deals with the aftermath of the murders, including the revelation of who is responsible, and investigates a case of vandalism at the local stables, Inspector Martins leads the hunt for the escaped killer.

As the body count mounts, and the killer becomes more and more desperate to get away, a storm builds overhead. Can Martins and the police catch him before more people die, or will the storm provide him with the cover he needs to make good his escape?

[Angel]

Alex wrote: "Angel wrote: "How about something like this, Alex:

In this sequel to Written in Blood:

A teen serial killer who terrorised the village of Oakhurst is caught, but before he can see the inside of a..."

Precisely.

I'm glad I could help, Alex.

[D.J.]

I would also keep the name out.

[D.J.]

I can’t see anything wrong with it. If it was mine, I’d shorten some sentences-but that’s a style choice rather than ‘wrong’ in my opinion.

[D.J.]

Something like

Constable Melissa Turner is engrossed with the aftermath of the murders, the perpetrator, and vandalism at the stables. Meanwhile, Martins ploughs ahead with the search for the killer.

(It’s not easy to do on the phone-I can’t see the original text at this point!)

[Carole]

use captured once and caught once