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Insight: Reflections on the Gifts of Being an Introvert
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message 1: by Introvertology (new)

Introvertology (introvertolgy) | 50 comments Mod
Insight is a collection of bite-sized essays on introversion by Beth Buelow.

Discussion Questions:
Have you been told “you’re not an introvert!”? If so, what was your
reaction?

How can introverts take a “pride of ownership” of their temperament?

How can extroverted managers encourage introverts to participate in
meetings?

Do you think the media “highlights our fear of solitude and the stigma
around going solo”?

How do you interpret this quote by Leonard Cohen: “There is a crack in
everything. That’s how the light gets in.”

The author of Insights talks about overthinking, or “double-think.” Is
this a problem you face?

What do you think of the advice “Fake if ’til you make it”?

How would you finish the sentence “You know you’re an introvert
when…”?


message 2: by Introvertology (new)

Introvertology (introvertolgy) | 50 comments Mod
Need to pace yourself?

Here's a suggested breakdown:
August 1-7th: Chapters 1-8
August 8-14th: Chapters 9-14
August 15-21: Chapters 15-21
August 22-28: Chapters 21-28
August 90-31: Finish reading, and then join us for...

Author Q&A Aug 31, 12pm Pacific, 3pm Eastern on Twitter.
Hashtag #introbook


Starfire | 14 comments Sounds like a good breakdown - will get onto Chapters 1-8 this week :-)


message 4: by Smectic (new)

Smectic | 1 comments I just finished the chapter on communication. It was a good reminder that extroverts have different needs during a conversation. It's surprising but obvious once you think about it, that interrupting an extroverted person won't throw them off in the same way as interrupting an introvert would. Also a good point that extroverts generally need more external feedback.


Starfire | 14 comments Smectic wrote: "I just finished the chapter on communication. It was a good reminder that extroverts have different needs during a conversation. It's surprising but obvious once you think about it, that interrupti..."

I really enjoyed this chapter too. I sometimes communicate more like an extrovert than an introvert, so it's really helpful to have this reminder when I'm working with my introverted clients!


Starfire | 14 comments Have you been told “you’re not an introvert!”? If so, what was your reaction?

Only by people who don't know what introversion is. My usual reaction is to ask them why they say that, and then when they invariably answer with one of the myths, I try to use it as a chance to gently educate them (at least one of the people I took that approach with realised SHE was a confident "social introvert" herself, and is now a member of my heart-based business introvert community)


Starfire | 14 comments How can introverts take a “pride of ownership” of their temperament?

I think connecting with your natural strengths and gifts as an introvert helps. Once you realise that there are actually upsides to being introverted, it's easier to stop feeling embarrassed or as though you need to "fix" your natural introversion.

I really liked the author's description of introversion as being an energetic factor, rather than a personality one. I can think of people whom it would be useful to make that distincation to.


message 8: by Introvertology (new)

Introvertology (introvertolgy) | 50 comments Mod
Smectic wrote: "I just finished the chapter on communication. It was a good reminder that extroverts have different needs during a conversation. It's surprising but obvious once you think about it, that interrupti..."
Totally. Respect and understanding between introverts and extroverts (and between anyone else, really) is important. Understanding each others' communication style differences sometimes gets forgotten when we focus on our energy differences.


message 9: by Introvertology (last edited Aug 12, 2014 03:09PM) (new)

Introvertology (introvertolgy) | 50 comments Mod
Starfire wrote: "at least one of the people I took that approach with realised SHE was a confident "social introvert" herself"
That's awesome! Ya, that's one of the reasons I get a little perturbed when I read someone's blog post or Twitter update complaining about the proliferation of introvert posts. There's still so many myths floating around so there's still a need for accurate posts and in-person discussions about introversion.


message 10: by Introvertology (new)

Introvertology (introvertolgy) | 50 comments Mod
The Q&A on Twitter is in two weeks!
Yaaaaaay!

If you still haven't read Insight: Reflections on the Gifts of Being an Introvert, here's a suggested breakdown:
August 18-20: Pages 1-36
August 21-23: Pages 36-61
August 24-26: Pages 61-86
August 27-29: Pages 86-114
August 30-31: Finish reading, and then join us for...

Author Q&A Aug 31, 12pm Pacific (3pm Eastern) on Twitter.
Hashtag #introbook


Starfire | 14 comments Just finished the book this morning, and have done a brief review of it on GoodReads (about to do a more in-depth one for my introvert blog).

Overall, I really enjoyed reading this. I didn't find a *lot* of new information in there, but what there was was nice reinforcement. I think the things that stand out most for me are:

- Describing introversion as an energetic characteristic, rather than a personality factor

- The "Why fake it til you make it is lousy advice" and "Don't tell me to step outside my comfort zone" chapters (halleluyah to both of them!)

I can see myself recommending the book to business owners who've newly discovered they're introverts based solely on these two things :-)


Starfire | 14 comments What do you think of the advice “Fake it ’til you make it”?

Personally, I hate it. I think that for some people, it might be OK as a (very) temporary strategy, but I also think that the more you fake things, the more you have to fake them again later... and that can lead to serious exhaustion (or it can for me)

I like the suggestion Ms Buelow's made here: acknowledging what's really true for you about the situation ("this is scary / boring / frustrating"), and then looking for the genuine opportunity or lesson or chance to get curious about the situation.

BUT... I also think it's important to acknowledge that choosing to do this takes energy, and it might not *always* be the best use of that energy in a given situation. Sometimes I think it's genuinely OK to say "You know what? I don't enjoy this, and the world isn't going to come to an end if I don't do it. So I'm going to make the conscious choice to put my energy to a better use in this instance."

It's always situational, but I think it's great to have the option to stretch yourself if that's what you want to do in the moment.


message 13: by Introvertology (last edited Aug 30, 2014 02:53PM) (new)

Introvertology (introvertolgy) | 50 comments Mod
Starfire wrote: "It's always situational, but I think it's great to have the option to stretch yourself if that's what you want to do in the moment. "

In the US at least there seems to be a stigma against "quitting" and opting out. And of course there's the pervasive phrase "no pain, no gain."


Starfire | 14 comments *nods* - I used to be a subscriber to the idea of indiscriminate "no pain, no gain" in fitness, as well as the rest of my life. It was like I absorbed the message that if I wasn't hurting myself, I wasn't trying hard enough. So I glorified the pain and made it a good thing.

Having now injured pretty much every single major joint in my body to the point of needing months of physio and rehab to heal each one (often going from one injury to another within days), I'm a little less enamoured of the philosophy. I still believe that there are times it makes sense to push to the point of pain; but experience has taught me that long-term, every time I wreck myself to achieve one end, I'm taking away from my ability to push myself to manage something else.

So that old "no pain, no gain" mentality is now much more a "pick your battles wisely" approach. If I accept as a given that my energy is a limited commodity, and I know that a range of things I want to do will each exhaust it, it just makes sense to me do the one/s that are most important to me, and try to either let go of, or at least defer the rest.

I think this is where the "Great Bank of Energy" metaphor I use in a lot of my programme and class materials comes to the fore. If you think of energy as being a limited resource that can be spent, budgeted and saved like money; and you imagine your energy levels as a bank account that you make daily energy deposits into (with recharging downtime) and withdrawals from (with interactions, or other draining activities), it can really help when it comes to deciding how you're best to spend what energy you have. It makes it far easier to say "no" to the things that you decide, quite frankly, aren't worth the energy expenditure too :-)


message 15: by Introvertology (new)

Introvertology (introvertolgy) | 50 comments Mod
Starfire wrote: "I still believe that there are times it makes sense to push to the point of pain; but experience has taught me that long-term, every time I wreck myself to achieve one end, I'm taking away from my ability to push myself to manage something else...."

Yup. And this plays into the "glorification of busy" idea too, which I think is particularly damaging to introverts.


message 16: by Introvertology (new)

Introvertology (introvertolgy) | 50 comments Mod
Q&A with Beth Buelow, The Introvert Entrepreneur, in less than 24 hours!

August 31st, 3pm Eastern, on Twitter.
Tweet your introvert questions to @introvertcoach.

And if you don't have Twitter just write your questions below, and I'll ask them for you.


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