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Am I doing something wrong?
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message 101:
by
Rachel
(new)
Jul 14, 2018 07:45PM
I feel you. Sometimes they support. Perhaps in the beginning... but the greatest support I have received is from other authors. That being said, after uploading my book for 1 month on Netgalley through a company service I got a message from a fan via Twitter saying how much she loved the book! 😁😁😁 That was so moving!!!
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For me, writing is about exactly that: watching it go from ideas to the complete story and maybe more than I initially expected, seeing the characters grow maybe differently than I expected. I go on, because I want to see not only how it ends (which I mostly know) but how exactly it gets there - which is still shrouded in mist, so to say.
If I don't sell a single copy, so be it. I tried and I will do my best. But I took that path, had load of fun and learned many new things - and thanks to these discussions, had a chance to talk with many people willing to talk about their process and share their thoughts.
Susan, Rachel & Tomas - I agree with all of you and thank you all for your inspiring words Writing is about writing and the courage to face the "tyranny of the empty page."I've tried not to write because it's so difficult at times, but I can't help myself. I'm sure if I lived in prehistoric times I'd be one of those carving something on a cave wall. Call yourselves writers and be proud!
Kathleen wrote: "Susan, Rachel & Tomas - I agree with all of you and thank you all for your inspiring words Writing is about writing and the courage to face the "tyranny of the empty page."I've tried not to write..."
I am so moved by al of these recent posts. We have to keep in mind that writing (like any art form) is an expression of your soul. You have something to say, and you need to say it. That's the most important thing, above all else. If it seeps into other people's lives, then that's amazing!
Phillip wrote: "Dwayne wrote: "Tomas wrote: "$5.99 is really a lot for a ~200-page book"That's about what I spend on coffee during an average writing session in a coffee shop or the library. It's a shame we're c..."
I have no problem charging what I feel the book is worth. If people think it's too expensive, they don't have to buy it. I was going to charge a lot less, but a bookstore owner said this should be the price. She said it took you a long time to write, and you need to be paid what it's worth. So, I control my own price point. Occasionally, at a reading, I'll let it go for less, but the price is the price, mind you, I don't need to make a living as a writer.
Margret wrote: "Crap, I can't even get my own family and friends to read and share my links. It's humiliating. My own stepmother promotes for a famous author for free and would never even admit to her friends that..."Margret - that post you just wrote - I'd say you have the plot for a comedy (comedy/romance?) right there! I'd read the story of the girl who was practically disowned by her 'famous publisher-to-the-stars step-mother'...and of course then comes good and becomes a best-seller. Good luck!
Margret wrote: "Crap, I can't even get my own family and friends to read and share my links. It's humiliating. You aren't alone there. I sometimes think that friends and family (unless they've written a novel before) don't understand what an undertaking it is. At least that's what I tell myself. I can't get my family's support either. I'm about to give away a few books to friends with a note that says "Please hand this to someone who likes to read." It might be more effective. LOL
I've said this before, and I'll say it again. Friends or family that take no interest in your book, and have little curiosity about what's in it, have little interest in you as a person. They may love you, but they are the kind of people who love talking about themselves, but rarely ask any questions of you. The pitiful excuse that your book is not their typical genre makes it even worse. That's like a parent not going to their kid's athletic event because they're not interested in that particular sport. I have such friends (not family, thankfully) and they're still my friends, but they have put themselves in their own special category of friends.
Lisa wrote: "Margret wrote: "Crap, I can't even get my own family and friends to read and share my links. It's humiliating. You aren't alone there. I sometimes think that friends and family (unless they've wr..."
Hmm, maybe I will. Thanks!
I was surprised when I found that most of my friends and family (except for my wife) would not promote or read my books. I came to realize that I had expectations that I had not communicated or validated with them. In my value system, if I had a close friend or family member who released an album, wrote a novel, or had a showing in a gallery, I would have promoted and supported them. I've come to realize that while they would like to support me in general, I'm a bit of an embarrassment. It's like being seen with your parents when you're a teenager. You love them, but you're just a little ashamed to be associated with them in public. Some of my extended family members spend huge amounts of time on social media publicizing and promoting books by other independent writers. They won't consider reading or promoting my work because they are concerned about tarnishing their online reputation by associating with me.
I've accepted my role as the lunatic on the fringe of their social circle and I've chosen not to expect or request any support or promotion from them. Instead, I need to let go of my expectations and focus on my target audience. I'm not writing for people who are ashamed to be seen with me. I'm writing for those who want to dive into the madness and enjoy the ride.
Ubiquitous wrote: "I was surprised when I found that most of my friends and family (except for my wife) would not promote or read my books. I came to realize that I had expectations that I had not communicated or val..."Yeah, exactly. I have friends, close friends that I have been through hell and back with and despite how concisely I phrase it, will not even tell others about my books. I think they believe I'm some kind of hack because it's like you say, they seem embarrassed and ashamed of me. You are not alone. Apparently, unless you write mommy porn or YA and get picked up by a large market, you are considered a joke in this line of work. We are stuck with our day jobs until we conquer through sheer number of books. I was told that if you are prolific enough and keep pushing through, you can make a living at this. However, the haters (friends and family) will never like or share your Facebook book posts unless you are famous.
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Now, I am still not done with my work - and thus not published yet - but my family still does not know I am writing, apart from my sister. I have no clue how they might react to the truth but I already made peace with the fact it might not be a pleasant reception. I am considering that the only person I'll tell is my mother and that's only because she's an accountant and could tell me how a potential side income (because I don't plan to ever become a full-time writer) like that is factored into taxes.
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Exactly. My dear ol' dad doesn't "get" my writing. It's not his thing and that's fine. He's more than a reader with a wallet to me. I'm more than my books to him.
I outgrew the need to have my mother hang my work on the refrigerator to validate me long, long ago.
Sorry to see so many of you hanging your relationships with your friends and loved ones on whether or not they care about your books or not. To each his own, but life might be much happier if you just let this go.
Dwayne wrote: "Tomas wrote: "It's a double-edged blade. I think that letting someone not into your genre promote your book can turn against you - especially if their 'word of mouth' reaches the wrong people."Ex..."
Wow, that was kinda douchey of you.
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Do we really want to force our friends/family to read - or even promote - something they know nothing about (in the case the genre is completely outside of what they read)? If they want to do so, okay. If they don't... I think forcing them would not be an extra kind way to do either. Plus, I think there were already words about how bad targetting can do more harm than good and this has the potential to do exactly that.
Margret wrote: "Apparently, unless you write mommy porn or YA and get picked up by a large market, you are considered a joke in this line of work."Aside from being dead wrong, this is not suportive in any way shape or form. Romance writers and YA writers are just as valid as any other genre. It's not a competition and there's no magic formula for selling books.
But beyond that, understand that everything posted here is public, meaning not only will other group members see this (many of whom write in the genres you've disparaged), but anyone who decides to do a search for your name (whether they are a Goodreads member or not) might find this as well, including potential readers.
Listen, I'm not disparaging any genre. I'm merely stating that YA and romance/erotica is what's selling.As far as friends and family, I never said their sole purpose was to read and promote my work, but when you give years of emotional support to someone and have their back only to be dismissed when you need them, not cool. Nobody expects Mommy and Daddy to be their agent, but at least they can pretend to be jazzed that you accomplished something big.
And honestly I'm pretty over this crap. I thought this was a safe place to vent. I did not expect to be essentially told to grow up.
Not cool at all.
Zana wrote: "I wrote three cozy mysteries and began to see where I might be able to get a decent bit of income, but frankly I got tired of weaving the plots. Now I am writing a series of fairly short books, my ..."Zana, could you write the memoirs, then use them to turn them into something else? I mean, if you pretend that they're not your memoirs, would they be a basis for good fiction?
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Dwayne wrote: "I suggested some of you might be happier if you eased up on expecting your family to support your writing when they clearly are not interested. Take the advice or leave it. Not sure why this topic ..."It could be genuine bewilderment, not grouchiness or defensiveness.
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Margret wrote: "Crap, I can't even get my own family and friends to read and share my links. It's humiliating. My own stepmother promotes for a famous author for free and would never even admit to her friends that..."I think that's a problem we all face. You first get published and they're all excited, until they realize it doesn't mean an ability to drop your name to get special treatment, invites, free swag, and the best tables in the restaurants. Suddenly, they're bored and they're "too busy" to be bothered with the persistent aggravation of your goals and dreams. It's amazing how people's interest and loyalties change when they realize there's little or nothing in it for them to benefit from. Human nature sucks that way.
It took a long time to not take it personally. But then I realized that success as an author is ultimately about getting people who don't personally know you to read and promote your work. And therein lies the real issue. Amazon has become a matrix of madness with all of the products, and standing out is darn near impossible.
The advice I've been reading lately says you have to keep rotating keywords and categories to appeal to a "niche" audience, and hope to grow from there. I guess some people have seen success with this model. They also say you have to keep updating it, because the search terms online shoppers use are always changing. I see that. I've been looking at a lot of books lately, but yesterday I ordered parrot food on Amazon, and now my suggestion list is really confused. They don't know if I want a scifi
novel, bird chew toys, a gift card, or hand lotion now. Sometimes, Amazon itself isn't sure where you're at.
The keyword/category suggestion sounds like throwing Jello at a wall to me, but I'm preparing a list of keywords and categories to give it a try. I'll see if it works. I do see the point in it - hitting the top of a small category is better than having a ranking that looks like an International phone number - but whether this model converts to us indies well is yet to be seen. The pundits pushing it don't promise best seller numbers, but say it should bring more consistent sales to readers who will (hopefully) help promote you from there. So it's a "kingdom building" exercise.
As for the family and friends, I take that as a relief also. Because if they're "too busy" to be bothered with being interested in my writing, then that justifies me being "too busy" for the petty drama that seems silly to me.
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As a reader, I don't actually care for categories or bestseller lists or whatever is mentioned in all those marketing tactics, though I might be a black sheep. I go by recommendations both here on GR and on Amazon, look at the blurb and if it interests me, I go for it regardless of the book being first or last on some list.
Sherri wrote: "...but yesterday I ordered parrot food on Amazon, and now my suggestion list is really confused. ..."Parrot food. Hmm, you must be good people. :)
Can i just say, that i don't expect my family and friends to buy the book or shoutout or like or comment on my posts on social media, but I'd like them to atleast appreciate my work and support me. Them not being into my work is completely their choice, right? We don't need praise, we need support. Hope I'm not wrong.
Amaranthine wrote: "Can i just say, that i don't expect my family and friends to buy the book or shoutout or like or comment on my posts on social media, but I'd like them to atleast appreciate my work and support me...."You are absolutely not wrong, but I see support as encouragement and not cheerleading. I love my family and I'm proud of what they do, just as they're proud of what I do, but our interests are not at all the same. I don't expect them to read my books and they don't expect me to fake an interest in hockey, bodybuilding, etc.
