Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking Quiet discussion

Extroverts that read this book?

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Paperadventures I looked through some reviews, and all of them were introverts. I'm wondering if there are any extroverts that read Quiet and have a goodreads account. If so, what did you think of it?

Dhfan4life Actually everyone is a mix of both really. And the author speaks to finding ways to be both true to your introverted side and yet finding ways to tap into the extrovert side as well. I totally think you should read it. Really enlightening book for everyone.

Trish Mcd I'm an extravert. I found "Quiet" helped me understand how to affirm and support family members and friends who are introverts.

When it comes to the work environment, this book gives very helpful insights on how to create and manage a team where introverts ( and extroverts) can know they are valued and make their best contributions

I appreciated the extensive research that she included. It was subtle, thoughtful and useful for both extroverts and introverts.

I did think she caricatured introverts a little bit but it probably be hard not to if you are not an extrovert yourself.

Rachel I'm an extrovert and I have 3 introverted children, several siblings and father. This book was absolutely life changing for me and gave me a much better understanding of introversion. I used to apologize to people for my kids introversion! I took my dad's so personally. I recommend this book to everyone!

Valorie Mcclelland I am an extrovert and come from a family of extroverts, but I live with an introvert and have worked with introverts so the book helped me to understand them better. I am continually surprised when I mis read the behaviors of introverts.

Michele I'm an extrovert married to an introvert. I found the book simplistic and anecdotal rather than earth shatteringly scientific and informative. For a full review http://ireadalotofbooks.com/quiet-the...

Pallas I'm an extrovert that comes from a family of introverts, and I'm also married to one. I thought the book illuminated some aspects of introversion that I had never thought about, but overall, I felt like it was written with a bit of a superiority complex. Obviously, introverts are often undervalued in our society but that doesn't mean that extroverts are buffoons who achieve what they do for superficial reasons. There were several parts that came across as condescending.

Dhfan4life Pallas wrote: "I'm an extrovert that comes from a family of introverts, and I'm also married to one. I thought the book illuminated some aspects of introversion that I had never thought about, but overall, I felt..."

Wow, how so and which parts. Because I actually found it pretty even keeled and not condescending at all. But I think when it comes down to explaining differences between people at times. There is going to be a bit of a tone I guess that comes across as condescending when explaining something most don't typically see. I mean a lot of the situations and stuff the author talked about, I've totally experienced being around most extroverts at times. I mean I get for everyone there is a blend of both sides for sure. But more times than not I've definitely felt on the end of being the "weird" one for not wanting to hang out for long hours at a time with others. Or not being a super peppy morning person that is super social all the time. I think in a sense for most that believe that others that are weird for not being like that. Display a level of their own condescension too in a way.

Pallas Dhfan4life wrote: "Pallas wrote: "I'm an extrovert that comes from a family of introverts, and I'm also married to one. I thought the book illuminated some aspects of introversion that I had never thought about, but ..."

It has been a good six months since I finished the book so unfortunately my memory is a little fuzzy when it comes to all of the specific instances of when I felt this way.

However, I can say now six months after the fact, that the way I think back on this book is that she implied that extrovert=social and fun while introvert= thoughtful and considerate. I'd like to think of myself who can be social but also thoughtful and considerate, and I don't think these qualities necessarily correlate to introversion/extroversion. In my experience, introversion/extroversion has a lot more to do with how we enjoy spending our time rather than how we fundamentally think or our values.

Furthermore, reading this book at times made me think I was an introvert even though I know that isn't true, and I think I felt that way because there was an underlying tone that introverted people were more thoughtful and considerate people. There was a quiz at the beginning as I recall where you were supposed to whether affirm whether certain statements were true for you. Some of these statements were leading questions like "I dislike small talk, but enjoy having meaningful conversations about things I care deeply about." Supposedly if you said true you were more introverted and false more extroverted. Who wouldn't say true to that statement? Even as a strong extrovert of course I prefer a "meaningful" conversation to small talk which is by definition trivial. There is an implication in there that extroverts don't care about interacting with people in a meaningful way, and I believe that is completely false!

The underlying theme was that introverts have extraordinary capabilities that the world misses out on because we don't appreciate them. I agree with this message because the introverts in my life are extraordinary and deserve far more credit than they often receive.

However, there was something in the way that message came across that made it seem as if she believed that as a society we were worshipping false idols, these vapid masters of rhetoric and sociability who we put into leadership positions in place of those who would be much more thoughtful and sensible.

I totally agree with you that there are plenty of extroverts that judge introverts for not wanting to hang out with them for hours on end or be super peppy. However, there are also many extroverts who feel judged and hurt by introverts who decline their invitations to hang out or who feel someone is being cold or closed off.

Ultimately, I think we are all very similar, but we have different ways of interacting with the world and communicating with each other. It is valuable to understand these different methods so we can judge each other less. We should keep in mind that both introverts and extroverts can be smart, thoughtful, patient, fun, loving, and kind, and they can both be great friends and effective leaders in society.

Dhfan4life Ah I see. Yes I recall those quizzes and to be honest I over looked them really. As I have always felt that everyone is a mix of both. And I think pending on situations we can be at times more considerate or not to others. Without really realizing it.

Also, I think how she was saying for our culture's beliefs about what it means to be successful, attractive, assertive. Usually depicts or lends itself to a particular image and a person with particular traits. Even though we might not like to agree with it when asked out right about it, but I think it has been proven a few times throughout history at times when those that are more charismatic, outgoing, attractive, etc. Tend to get more trust or likability, than someone that is a bit more reserved and introspective. So although in a sense I get where you are coming from about what the author said about one's values initially. I think she even went on to say that no one is totally reward or risk centered and that extroverts or introverts can't be one or the other. But in general we ALL have to be aware of which ones we play into during particular situations. So we can not only co-exist together in society in the "ideal" way. But also in a way where we are being true to ourselves too. And not doing the "if your friend jumped off a cliff, would you do the same thing?" kind of ideal, ya know?

So with that said, overall I agree with you what you said about the differences in introverts and extroverts. And really what it should come down to is being able to take a step back and compromise should happen between those that lean a little closer to being more of an extrovert or an introvert. Because honestly til you mentioned it, I've never even honestly considered that those that are more extroverted in my life would be hurt if I turned down invitations or being viewed as cold. I mean all my life I've been told that people thought I was shy and coming from a super extroverted family (especially my folks) that would try and get me to go here, do this activity, join this or that. And so I grew up, not feeling like there was something wrong with me per se. Just always being "on" so to speak was normal. And even though I went along to get along so to speak. I also felt like if I wasn't attending something or part of something, I didn't really think they would miss me as they always managed to find someone or something to keep them going. And wouldn't quite miss me being there. However, what is ironic, is when I'm feeling more extroverted, I don't want the fun or situation to end.

So yea, seeing the differences in how we approach different situations as individuals and in group settings too. I mean a bit of awareness never hurt anybody right? As long as open communication lines are open, and all parties are still feeling respected. I say more power to more introverted leaning peeps and more extroverted peeps uniting. :)

Pallas Dhfan4life wrote: "Ah I see. Yes I recall those quizzes and to be honest I over looked them really. As I have always felt that everyone is a mix of both. And I think pending on situations we can be at times more cons..."

I totally agree :-)

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