Come As You Are discussion

Tom Riddle's Diary > The Inner Musings of an Introverted Fangirl  ~Jikan (✺ jιĸan "ι wιll noт вow тo тнe мajorιтy" ✺) ~

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message 1: by [deleted user] (new)

Rules and Regulations of your Journal:
•COMMENTS ALLOWED (unless I say otherwise)
•NO HATE OR RUDENESS WHATSOEVER, ESPECIALLY TO ME SINCE ITS MY JOURNAL (which includes harsh judgement, sassiness, insults, etc.) 

「 kozue 」 ··ᴘʀᴇss ᴘʟᴀʏ·· (marquessofthefangirls) | 101 comments First time joining one of these groups and requesting a journal, so it's a bit awkward for me to write out my thoughts in here, especially since everyone can see how my mind works. Haha, I guess I'll have to get used to it then. :)

「 kozue 」 ··ᴘʀᴇss ᴘʟᴀʏ·· (marquessofthefangirls) | 101 comments Warning: Rant and possible Trigger Warning
I made this as short as possible but its hard too hard to summarize this

I think I may have been scarred forever by last night. Yes, I'm over exaggerating a bit but I can't get over what happened last night in the 5andom.
(view spoiler)

「 kozue 」 ··ᴘʀᴇss ᴘʟᴀʏ·· (marquessofthefangirls) | 101 comments ✺ jιĸan "ι wιll noт вow тo тнe мajorιтy" ✺ wrote: "Warning: Rant and possible Trigger Warning
I made this as short as possible but its hard too hard to summarize this

I think I may have been scarred forever by last night. Yes, I'm over exaggeratin..."

But everyone in the 5andom is slowly putting this behind us. I still hate the girl who started this.

message 5: by 「 kozue 」 ··ᴘʀᴇss ᴘʟᴀʏ·· (last edited Jul 24, 2014 02:01PM) (new)

「 kozue 」 ··ᴘʀᴇss ᴘʟᴀʏ·· (marquessofthefangirls) | 101 comments Hopefully I won't post anything overly serious like my first entry (no promises, this is my journal after all). I just needed to get that off my chest

message 6: by [deleted user] (new)

^^^^ I love him!

「 kozue 」 ··ᴘʀᴇss ᴘʟᴀʏ·· (marquessofthefangirls) | 101 comments Lol it seemed fitting for the situation.

message 8: by 「 kozue 」 ··ᴘʀᴇss ᴘʟᴀʏ·· (last edited Jul 24, 2014 02:55PM) (new)

「 kozue 」 ··ᴘʀᴇss ᴘʟᴀʏ·· (marquessofthefangirls) | 101 comments This post is kind of all over the place. Sorry
So.. It's gotten to the point where I question my friendships in life.

I mean don't get me wrong. I love my IRL friends very very much and I am so thankful to have them. But the Internet, in my opinion, relates more to me than most of my best friends.
My friends in real life, let's call them MFIRL to shorten it I'm so original, and I are all so different which is absolutely normal. We have our own unique "style" and we share a few things in common. I guess that's what keeps everything interesting.
But sometimes I want someone that I can relate to. Not like the "Oh we have the same problems and we totally understand each other" type of thing. I'm talking about that we're almost alike in everything and we can be easily comfortable around each other. And so far, the Internet has fit that category.
MFIRL are more extroverted than I'll ever be and they're always willing to go out and have fun while I'm the introvert trying to find an excuse to stay holed up in my room. They talk to almost everyone and have connections outside of our group of friends. I'm pretty sure 3/4 the grade knows that I even exist! I over-exaggerated that last part but I barely know anyone else outside my classroom.
When it comes to ranting, there is a very tiny selection of MFIRL I can choose from because I know half of them will ignore me or not even get what I'm saying. Not to mention that I "overranted" to one specific person and they sounded like they got annoyed. However, when I'm talking to people on the Internet, people are constantly bugging you to confide in them. For example, in my last journal entry, I mentioned a "therapy session" with my followers a couple nights back because I was feeling down about the fights on Tumblr. I only posted ONE simple post saying I needed to rant and about 6 people came to my inbox to talk to me. One even said that she'll gladly talk to me again if I ever needed it. Even though this doesn't relate to me, I've seen posts of support on Tumblr (ie the more notes this gets I won't do.... for those amount of days) and those get millions of reblogs, likes, and messages.
And for my last topic, FANDOMS. My catchphrase is usually seen as "My Fandoms, My Life" and I proudly consider myself a multifandom girl. This is a huge problem for me and MFIRL. Compared to their list of obsessions, mine is almost the opposite (and a lot longer I believe).
They want to watch Dance Moms? I'll go watch anime then.
You like Instagram? Tumblr is my life.
Obsessing over After Ever After? I'm screaming over Disney Dudez
Reading TFiOS? Not a problem, I'll just hide in my copy of Ender's Game.
Singing to One Direction and Ariana Grande? I'm just blasting IM5 & Fly Away Hero into my ears
Their fandoms are completely different and I can't talk to ANYONE if I want to rant about something happening in my fandom. And you should probably know what I'm going to say about the Internet, so I'm going to end it there.
Moral of the story: I need to make more friends.
If for some reason MFIRL found this, I still love you, so stay the way you are <3

「 kozue 」 ··ᴘʀᴇss ᴘʟᴀʏ·· (marquessofthefangirls) | 101 comments
"It's working through our problems when everybody says we can't
And it's dancing in the face of those who told us not to dance"
-Dalton Rapattoni, To the Moon and Back

「 kozue 」 ··ᴘʀᴇss ᴘʟᴀʏ·· (marquessofthefangirls) | 101 comments Summer break is almost over...
I haven't done anything productive or related to summer reading. Good job, me. Good job.

message 11: by Muhammad (new)

Muhammad Alee | 336 comments You're not the only one

「 kozue 」 ··ᴘʀᴇss ᴘʟᴀʏ·· (marquessofthefangirls) | 101 comments ;P I swear I still feel like I just ended school

message 13: by Muhammad (new)

Muhammad Alee | 336 comments I know I did

「 kozue 」 ··ᴘʀᴇss ᴘʟᴀʏ·· (marquessofthefangirls) | 101 comments Journal entry in editing...
I hate fandom drama

I know most of these entries will be about my fandoms... But it's my journal so shut up.
My biggest fandom I've contributed to? The IM5 fandom aka the 5andom or the 5amily of 5ers. I prefer the latter. It's gotten more than just a regular fandom I got attached to.
In most fandoms, I felt anonymous and ignored. Everyone felt like they knew each other already and everything just ran bland after awhile (or maybe it's just me).
But for this fandom in particular, I felt like I belonged. It felt like an actual family. So far, from all of the posts I've seen, everyone seems like really close friends. They support each other fully and talk often through stuff like tinychat and snapchat, even though they're complete strangers on the internet. They even arrange meet ups at concerts and random places! I don't regret joining this fandom one bit. It made me feel loved and accepted. I can talk to them with no problem.
But of course, families and fandoms always their ups and downs. There's drama, fights, and even people leaving.
I've already seen one type of drama. In fact, I ranted about this already.
It hurts to see everyone so sad and angry. It hurt even more when the hate was thrown, not at someone outside the fandom, but inside it. It's like watching your best friends or your parents fight. You're absolutely scared and torn. It always seems like everything was so happy just a moment ago and it all ended when someone posts a simple message.
I'm a Tumblr 5er and I practically live on the IM5 tag there. I always check it and reblog and favorite posts there almost all the time.
Maybe I'm overreacting.. But one post just bugged me a lot.
Someone announced that they were leaving the 5amily.
Like I usually mention, I'm only a rookie of some sorts. I just joined this fandom a couple months ago. I've SEEN the past drama and that made me sad, but it was in the PAST and it just left me after awhile. But to experience it is worse.
This person ranted and thrown hate at IM5's work and their company and claimed that they grown out of them. I respect their decision, but it makes me really sad. They claimed that the band was a fake, their music is terrible, and was only putting up a clean boybands act.
Being a big fan of the boys, I wanted to stand up for them and comfort the leaving 5er, but that entire rant made me doubt everything. I hate feeling this way.
This is completely unrelated to the 5er I mentioned, but there's a couple of projects going around the 5andom regarding repairing the community. I'm just going to list them off.
August is IM5 month and we are appreciating the boys every Saturday with something special.
The entire summer, we've been doing Summer of 5ers to bring everyone back together after the past drama that's been going on for the previous months.
But most importantly, one of the recent projects, Because of You. A 5er is going to one of their concerts and would like to show IM5 this project as a thank you to them. Everyone is submitting two pictures which includes two notecards starting with "Because of You". The first one is a 5er's free choice, telling them how they changed their life. The second one is a card saying:
"Because of you, I have a 5amily."
I think this is really important. We know and care for each other because we love IM5.
And since we are still healing and trying to move on from the past, it doesn't help if someone is leaving. It deepens the wound even more when they explain everything so harshly and specially...
I know it may not make sense but this means a lot to me.

「 kozue 」 ··ᴘʀᴇss ᴘʟᴀʏ·· (marquessofthefangirls) | 101 comments Maybe I am overreacting.. It looks like I can't handle hate very well... I just needed to get that out.

ʟıṡєһ ~ Ԁѧяʟıṅɢ, ʏȏȗʟʟ ɞє ȏҡѧʏ  | 588 comments I can't handle hate well, so I can relate

「 kozue 」 ··ᴘʀᴇss ᴘʟᴀʏ·· (marquessofthefangirls) | 101 comments It's hard to handle at times..

ʟıṡєһ ~ Ԁѧяʟıṅɢ, ʏȏȗʟʟ ɞє ȏҡѧʏ  | 588 comments Yeah, I'm glad I have someone to help me, that always helps

「 kozue 」 ··ᴘʀᴇss ᴘʟᴀʏ·· (marquessofthefangirls) | 101 comments Ranting makes it feel better ^^

「 kozue 」 ··ᴘʀᴇss ᴘʟᴀʏ·· (marquessofthefangirls) | 101 comments Guh.. Over the summer I feel like I've gotten to the point of stereotypical Tumblr introvert (finding excuses to stay in, being holed up and on the computer all the time, etc.)

「 kozue 」 ··ᴘʀᴇss ᴘʟᴀʏ·· (marquessofthefangirls) | 101 comments The random feeling when I want to rant, but a couple minutes later, I lost the vibe and can't rant anymore.
I swear I was going to rant a couple hours ago, but the feeling just vanished! o.o

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