Goodreads Authors/Readers discussion
Bulletin Board
>
Seeking synopsis feedback
date
newest »
newest »
I feel like the synopsis is too long and has too much going on. The start of it captured my interest, but it started switching back and forth between Emory and Fletcher too much and then it just started being all about Emory which sort of confused me. The way it's set up, it has both of them being the main characters but then it seems like it becomes more about Emory which, if that's what you're going for, maybe mention Fletcher later? Also, I'm not sure what this is about? It mentions him being a part of a social movement, but it's too vague for me. What kind of movement?
Thank you for your feedback. I truly appreciate it.In short, the two of them are trying to start a political uprising. They are trying to start a protest movement.
Yes, Emory is the main character and Fletcher is the mysterious character that is a major catalyst in the book.
Which part captures your attention and when did you lose interest? Do you mind telling me specifically so that I can keep optimizing this.
Thank you again!
Thank you!
Yeah, no problem! After the girl is mentioned, that's when I think it gets a little much.
I think it's too long. While there are some differences between a synopsis and a query, the query format that seems to be successful might apply:First paragraph: A vivid or provocative quote or line of dialogue from the text. One or two sentences.
Second paragraph: A brief condensation of the plot line - no more than three sentences.
Third paragraph: Anything about the author's credentials that will make it appealing to a reader (or editor or agent).
He wants nothing more than to be with the emotionally-damaged, beautiful girl he loves. But, she has no idea who he really is.With every step towards revolution, danger grows, relationships strain, and Emory falls further into isolation.
Paranoia sets in. The movement is on the verge of collapse. He thinks someone is trying to get between him, Fletcher, and their plans for mayhem. He’s not sure who. He can think of a million reasons why.
I agree with the others on here. This is around the point where I lost interest. Is the girl very important or is the main point that everything he was working toward is about to collapse at the end?
I would maybe rework the ending of the synopsis a bit. Good luck!
Thank you! It is more that it is all collapsing. I am going to re-work this and I will try and post an updated version to see if anyone has feedback. Thank you again.
Please let me know thoughts on the below edits----
Emory is an aimless millennial who refuses to conform. When his anti-corporate Internet ramblings attract a following, he finds unlikely fame and a sudden sense of purpose. His newfound notoriety has perks. But it draws the wrong kind of attention. Forced to take on an assumed identity to protect himself, Emory finds himself trapped by the words he’s written — and the person he’s become.
When he meets Fletcher, a rich baby boomer longing for the idealism of his youth, the two embark on a plan to cause mayhem. But Emory soon thinks someone is trying to get between him, Fletcher, and their plans. He’s not sure who. He can think of a million reasons why.
Emory is alone and suspicious of the people who know him best. He has good reason to be. Having burned just about every bridge back to the life he once lived, he must find the strength to face the mistakes of his past if he has any chance at a future.
This works better but some of the sentences don't fit or feel fragmented. Try taking out "His newfound notoriety has perks." and "He’s not sure who. He can think of a million reasons why." Also, in the third paragraph, why is Emory alone? What happened to Fletcher? That phrase creates a gap between the second and third paragraph. Try "Unsure of who to trust, Emory is suspicious of the people who know him best" or something like that.
Thank you!-- Here are a few quick edits to your suggestion so you can see them and let me know what you think---
Emory is an aimless millennial who refuses to conform. When his anti-corporate Internet ramblings attract a following, he finds unlikely fame and a sudden sense of purpose. But his fame draws the wrong kind of attention. Forced to take on an assumed identity to protect himself, Emory finds himself trapped by the words he’s written — and the person he’s become.
When he meets Fletcher, a rich baby boomer longing for the idealism of his youth, the two embark on a plan to cause mayhem. But Emory soon thinks someone is trying to get between him, Fletcher, and their plans.
Unsure of who to trust, Emory is suspicious of the people who know him best. He has good reason to be. Having burned just about every bridge back to the life he once lived, he must find the strength to face the mistakes of his past if he has any chance at a future.
Maybe delete the part "He has good reason to be" unless you plan of expanding on it, but other than that, it sounds good to me!
Thank you so much. Do I give enough in the first 2 paragraphs to justify the following?: "Having burned just about every bridge back to the life he once lived, he must find the strength to face the mistakes of his past if he has any chance at a future. "
That is much better, James! I think that will work.
I've put a ton of work into my synopsis and have changed it a bunch. However, I'm struggling to get sales. I get an okay amount of clicks on my AMS ads. But they aren't converting to sales.
I'm wondering if anyone would give me some feedback. Maybe I'm harping too much on the synopsis.. but, I'm not sure what else I'm doing wrong.
TIA.
Emory is a jobless Millennial who refuses to conform. Fletcher is an aging millionaire longing for the idealism of his youth. Alone, they’re dreamers. Together, they’ve got plans for revolution.
Emory is thrust into the spotlight as the figurehead of a social movement while Fletcher hides in the shadows. While Emory’s newfound notoriety comes with some perks, it draws the wrong kind of attention. Forced to take on an assumed identity to protect himself, he finds himself trapped by the plans he’s helped set into motion — and the person he’s become. He wants nothing more than to be with the emotionally-damaged, beautiful girl he loves. But, she has no idea who he really is.
With every step towards revolution, danger grows, relationships strain, and Emory falls further into isolation.
Paranoia sets in. The movement is on the verge of collapse. He thinks someone is trying to get between him, Fletcher, and their plans for mayhem. He’s not sure who. He can think of a million reasons why.
With his world collapsing around him, Emory is alone, afraid, and suspicious of the people who know him best. He has good reason to be. Having burned just about every bridge back to the life he once lived, he must find the strength to face the mistakes of his past if he has any chance at a future.
About
Part captivating tale of love, loss, and self discovery in an age of social upheaval, part intriguing psychological mystery, part engrossing political drama, Discontents: The Disappearance of a Young Radical, reads like a literary knife slicing across the seams of a tattered America.
In this cult classic, author James Wallace Birch masterfully exposes the hopes and flaws of people and ideologies, cementing his place as a new and exciting voice. The writing is dark and witty, but smart, poignant and insightful. Characters are as dynamic as they are emotionally scarred, and the portrait of the back alleys and rooftops of the nation's capital is visceral and disturbing.