Could I get some help from the guys in the group, please?

[Marília]

So, this may be a weird question, but how do you guys (males of the species) feel about how you are represented when written by women?

Let me explain the origin of my question (and please don't yell at me for this): I got some feedback on one of my stories and the man reading it said it was odd because I had gotten guys all wrong. He said I made them better than they were. I thought this was a very bleak view of humanity as a whole and I disagree because I do believe that there are good people out there (regardless of gender).

However, I did start to wonder about what male readers would think of male characters when written by women.
I know it varies immensely depending on writer and personality of the character, but I do have some things that more often than not annoy me when reading female characters...

So, is there anything you feel is consistently gotten wrong - or gotten right? Is there anything that annoys you?

Please let me know below and thank you

[J. A.]

Aloha;

Marilia,

Your question leaves open the door for generalizations, and for the moment I'd like to avoid that. As you rightly noted, the personality and viewpoint of a writer (male or female) can impact the demeanor of a character and whether their behavior
'rings true' to others. However, I suggest you keep in mind that there are all types of male personalities. No matter which type your character turns out to be, you will likely be on target at least some of the time.

From my perspective, the writer's objective is to tell the story as its' internal integrity requires. Whether a man's behavior is odd, or uncharacteristic, may often depend on what is happening around him. Or what life journey has bent him into the shape he holds in that story. Certainly you need to incorporate your own observations, and experiences as well; but that's just honing your craft.

Respectfully,

J. A. Stubbs

[Marília]

Hi,
Thank you for the reply. I was not trying to generalize or imply that all men are the same. If it seemed that way, I am sorry.

I have no intention of changing my character to suite what someone thinks the character should be, I just became curious if anyone had been irked by something constant or commonplace that I might never have noticed. I was looking for personal opinions, not generalizations.

[Jason]

This is a great topic but one for a dissertation. Since the intention of fiction is to enhance or heighten reality, authors certainly bias character traits (sub consciously or deliberately) accordingly. General male concern for their “manhood” is one trait that is easy to get wrong, if I was to offer at least one answer to your Q.

[Effie]

Jason, could you elaborate. I am interested in this question as well. I try to portray my male characters as authentically as I can. I write women's fiction/ contemporary romance and I try very hard to make the dialogue realistic. I read a lot of romance, some quite steamy and sometimes I find that the women are writing unrealistic fantasy when it comes to the men. Of course, that's why women read romance, however, my feeling is that a reader would want to believe that such a person actually exists.

[Doug]

Men do have a very different view of life, in general, than do women. This is an age-old reality that has captured the imagination of authors since books went into print.
How you represent a character, however, is purely your decision, and if you follow your instincts, you'll likely convey a portrayal that is at the very least realistic.
You are absolutely right that some men are perceived, as you say, 'better than they are', from a female perspective. That would not bother me at all, but it might some men. I wouldn't worry about what some men might think as long as you are true to yourself, and portray your characters as you want them to be, and wish that they were. Who knows, perhaps your portrayal will help men to better understand what women would like to see in them.

[Effie]

But some of the books I've read, and enjoyed, build up unobtainable expectations for women to have for men. That's kind of not fair for the impressionable woman, especially the the younger ones to have. No man can live up to that.

[Bernard]

I think the question one must ask himself is if a male character is better because the author 'made them better than they were' or if the character had to present himself as someone better than is actually is.

I consider the author being male or female and possibly offering a better than life character to be irrelevant. We transform our own experiences and words and that of others, men and women, into words conveying something important in the meaning of the story and use characters to accomplish this task. As consequence, the process of creating a character will always contain a certain degree of bias as will the process of having the story read by a man or a woman.

Look into historical fiction and one will notice that men had to be better than they were. However, at the same time, there is always this 'yes, but...' moment making the reader discover the frail side of the character. If one uses a weak and introverted anti-hero, the events (and not the author) will usually transform him or her into someone unexpected by the character himself.

So, trust yourself.

[Groovy]

I wholeheartedly agree with Effie. I'm one of those authors who's guilty of writing about those unobtainable expectations. And an impressionable, young woman can certainly get the wrong expectations about life and relationships. That's why I hope they have mothers to help them see the difference.

I come from a very abusive life, I've lived reality. That's why the heroes in my books are as far from reality as I can write them. I think it's good to escape in a book and fantasize about characters no one can really live up to. This is why the romance genre is so popular.

[Jim]

Few writers possess the skill set and ability to accurately portray a character gender other than their own without intelligent, frank, and unbiased input from someone of that particular gender.

An alternative would be to obtain the services of an experienced, professional conceptual editor who can and will offer an assessment of character portrayal and offer useful suggestions for improvement.

[Jason]

Effie wrote: "Jason, could you elaborate. I am interested in this question as well. I try to portray my male characters as authentically as I can. I write women's fiction/ contemporary romance and I try very har..."

Sure. I’ll try anyway. I’m not referring so much to getting dialogue within gender authentic but state of mind. We hear both genders talk all the time, so we can approximate this better. But not the interior state.

Just as a quick example, it is often said (at least I heard this all the time) that a guy thinks about sex every seven seconds or something. Well, obviously trying to portray this authentically would make for a really boring novel, or even a page of one. I think men are also constantly in their minds assessing themselves against every other guy - it’s a fact of sociobiology I guess. And assessing their performance (in all respects not just sex) in the face of women. I can only imagine how difficult it would be for a woman author to portray such “interior behavior.” And of course the reverse is true, but that’s not your Q. How all of us “behave” externally is very different from how we are thinking on the inside, I guess, is how I’d put it.

[Effie]

Jason, that's true. I agree. Since the subject of sex has come up, in many of those romance novels, especially the more explicit ones, the author makes it seem like nothing makes the man happier than to please the woman, even if that means putting off his own pleasure. Come on! Seriously. Tell me men, isn't that just the fantasy of the woman author? Not to say than many of you men aren't considerate and caring lovers ,but not to the extent the writer expresses.

[C.E.]

I read stories written by skilled female writers to see how they portray other females. This very much clues me in on how I should portray females!

Many of my published stories have females. Please check 'em out to see how it's done.

NAMASTE

C.E. Gee https://kinzuakid.blogspot.com

[Vasundhara]

Hi,

Could somebody please help me understand what the purpose of a sample/dummy book is before the actual book is printed? And what if the printed book turns out to be different from the dummy book?

Look forward to hearing from you guys.
Thanks!

[Jenna]

I can't help but join in. :)

I think women sometimes romanticize men.
I had a long drawn out paragraph but I'm too afraid people will yell at me, so I'm just going to sum up: don't over complicate a man when writing him. Make him amazing, sure, there are wonderful men out there, but his reactions, conversation, etc. should be male.
A lot of this should be specific to the character. For example, is he a metrosexual wealthy Manhattanite or is he a Wyoming hard-core cowboy who can live off the land?
I guess for me, I've noticed that men typically don't talk out their feelings. They avoid them whenever possible and try other ways to mend fences. They like food. A lot. They like to be cared for, and told in so many words how they're appreciated.
They like to feel useful, and if a woman vents to them they'll try to solve the problem (rather than just listen).
I guess just things like that. Not that I have it all figured out by any means.