FULL Recovery Is Possible (Book Introduction)

[Jenni]

We don't have to settle for mediocre versions of recovery.

When I wrote my first book, "Life Without Ed," I didn't know that full freedom was possible. I wrote my second book, "Goodbye Ed, Hello Me," because, importantly, I had learned that a complete recovery can indeed be a reality.

In this thread, let's talk about what full freedom from an eating disorder looks like to us. If you could describe full recovery in three words, what would they be? Of course, each person's definition of complete freedom will be different.

Here are my three words to describe full recovery:

Reconnection
Fun
Authentic Joy

I guess that's four words. LOL. I look forward to hearing from you!

** Please remember to keep your posts non-triggering. Per the rules of the group, no numbers (e.g., weights, calories, clothing sizes). Also, please refrain from posting specific eating disordered behaviors. We want to keep this group non-triggering and focused on the solution. Triggering posts will be deleted in order to protect our special group. **

[Rachel]

Freedom
Hope&Happiness
LivingNotJustSurviving

No Spaces equals one word. That and I have some serious OCD (or CDO) with the number 5. I can get a note from my therapist! 😇

It’s so hard for me to differentiate between the eating disorder, which I wouldn’t go as far as to say I’m recovered but in recovery (I think?). I have so much other stuff holding me back though (PTSD, treatment resistant depression being the hardest to deal with right now).

I’m picturing those words (and others but I tried to limit) almost as a ladder or staircase with no end. I say no end in a positive sense...that once i achieve those things (or others first, more will come my way.

Wow that is way too positive to be talking about my own life.

**DELETE**

[Rachel]

I didn’t delete anything. I should probably delete THAT though. It was basically referring to the last sentence and that I felt like I should delete it!

[Michelle]

The depression was my reason for residential but the Ana is why insurance paid for it. Despite a med change or 3 I am still depressed. I hate this

[Michelle]

Energy, joy, peace

[Jenni]

Rachel wrote: "Freedom
Hope&Happiness
LivingNotJustSurviving

No Spaces equals one word. That and I have some serious OCD (or CDO) with the number 5. I can get a note from my therapist! 😇

It’s so hard for me to ..."

Dear Rachel - You are so beautifully creative. This is such a wonderful post! I am so glad you didn't delete it. Your positivity is so helpful to this group. Thank you!

[Jenni]

Melody wrote: "I think sometimes I am nervous that full recovery won’t ever happen. But I am trying to let go of that fear."

I know many can relate, Melody! I used to feel the same way. Thanks for always holding onto hope and sharing it here.

[Jenni]

Michelle wrote: "Energy, joy, peace"

Beautiful, Michelle. Wonderful words. Thank you. And, hang in there. That took a lot of courage for you to seek a higher level of care. Never quit!

[Rachel]

Thank you, Jenni. I actually have a question regarding what I posted I would love to run by you. It just hit me but I don’t really want to post it. Is that possible? I don’t want to bother you.

[Rachel]

Jenni, apparently the end of my last post got messed up. My original reply to the topic brought something up that has left me a pretty confused. That may not be the best word but definitely has been on my mind a lot and left me with questions.

I don’t feel comfortable posting it here so was wondering if it would be possible to send you a message or something privately. It is something I am almost positive you can relate to. I know you’re busy so understand if you don’t have time, just figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask.

Thanks.

[Michelle]

Thanks Melody! Rachel, hang in there, and you are supported here.

[Rachel]

Thanks, Melody.

Recovery is different for everyone. For me, a lot of the things people recovering from an eating disorder do is a lot different than it is for me. Some people need to stay on meal plans for a long time, some just for a little while, and some maybe forever (it doesn’t mean that won’t change, but just try to think of what you need right now. As for medication, the same goes. I personally am one of those people that, as of now anyway, think I will need it for the rest of my life. Maybe not everything that I’m on (it’s a lot), but probably some. Of course, that could change as well, I hope it will. I just know that if I were to get off of any of them today (other than skipping a dose of my PRN anxiety med I take 3 times a day, which hasn’t happened lately), shit would hit the fan. So I guess to answer your question, I don’t think anyone can define your recovery except you. A professional like your therapist or someone else on your treatment team could help you identify your behaviors, etc, but it comes down to you.

[Rachel]

Dreamer, I hope you realized that other than the first sentence, my last post was in reply to you. I forgot to mention that I’m kind of surprised your doctor would say something like that unless you have seen him/her for a while. I guess it’s good to be prepared, but just seems weird. Maybe it’s just me. I’m glad what you got put on now is helping and you are feeling better and in no way am saying you should stop it (clearly! Haha).

Just remember, this is all now. It is important to stay in the moment and be conscious of the idea that you will possibly deal with thoughts and sometimes urges years from now, even in recovery. I just hate for you to have the mindset that just because “the Dr said” you’d be on meds the rest of your life, it doesn’t mean you can’t recover. Things can get better, as long as you put in the work. Unfortunately, it just doesn’t happen in a straight line like you’re going up a hill or even stairs. You’ll hit bumps in the roads and dead ends where you just might make the wrong turn. You just have to get back up and learn that when you hit the damn pothole, just change that flat tires and keep going. Don’t let anything get in your way, and never, EVER, give up.

[Rachel]

It isn’t bad to keep it in the back of your mind as a possibility, but just because you’re on medication doesn’t mean you aren’t in recovery, either. Taking care of yourself IS.

[Jenni]

Rachel wrote: "Jenni, apparently the end of my last post got messed up. My original reply to the topic brought something up that has left me a pretty confused. That may not be the best word but definitely has bee..."

Hi Rachel - You can send me a private message on Goodreads or via my website. (I am a bit behind on Goodreads messages, but I will tackle all of them this week!) I look forward to hearing from you. Happy Thanksgiving, BTW.

[Jenni]

Wow...thanks for this awesome conversation. Such a key point, Dreamer. You have probably heard this metaphor before, but I think it is such a good one: someone with diabetes takes insulin for a lifetime, forever. My doctor shared this with me years ago, and I have never forgotten it.

BTW, I wanted to make sure that all of you know about our upcoming Facebook Live tomorrow. It is all about holiday support: https://jennischaefer.com/events/find... TUESDAY, NOV 21, 8 pm EST ... please tune in and ask questions! Happy Thanksgiving from Texas!

[Rachel]

Thanks. I’ll try from your website. Of course you’re in TX NOW (happy you get to spend the holidays here). I was gonna say something a few weeks ago about how you should come to the Dallas area (really anywhere around. I’d make the drive). I feel like the last time you were here was at the NEDA walk a long time ago.

[Rachel]

Wait when you said from your website, did you mean where it says “Contact” at the top? I was afraid other people may read through them first.

What is the quickest (or best) way you get them? That may be a better question. Sorry I keep bothering you!

[Leah]

to me, full recovery is freedom, authenticity, and happiness! and i am so excited to get there :)

[Jenni]

Leah wrote: "to me, full recovery is freedom, authenticity, and happiness! and i am so excited to get there :)"

Love this, Leah!!

[Jenni]

Rachel wrote: "Wait when you said from your website, did you mean where it says “Contact” at the top? I was afraid other people may read through them first.

What is the quickest (or best) way you get them? That ..."

I will be in Dallas for the 2018 NEDA Walk! I think it is going to be held on Saturday, May 19. Stay tuned for details. I would love to see you there, Rachel!

In terms of messages, I read the ones via my website Contact form. No one else does!

[Rachel]

Yay! It’s been a while! I go every year. This years was not anything worth mentioning. They had one speaker, who was fine, but in the past I feel like they’ve done a lot more. Not to mention I was about 2 weeks post-op so by the time they even started the walk barely made it through the “short walk”. (Not in an ED way, just nothing to see). I don’t remember them ever marking a short walk though so that was pretty cool though.

I’ll have to bring my Life Without Ed Book (the original yellowish one I don’t think most people even know about anymore) you wrote in when I met you at my dieticians off.

[Jenni]

Rachel wrote: "Yay! It’s been a while! I go every year. This years was not anything worth mentioning. They had one speaker, who was fine, but in the past I feel like they’ve done a lot more. Not to mention I was ..."

Oh cool, Rachel! I love seeing the little yellow original book. I so appreciate your support. Can't wait to see you!