The complete bo**ocks, talk tripe, no music allowed thread Showing 301-350 of 3,123

[suzysunshine7]

Tech wrote: "'course he's happy! he just wrecked my ******* kitchen!"

So THAT'S the new Dishwasher you bought for Mrs Tech, is it?

Hmmm? - well that'll teach you not to buy anything else from a bloke in the Pub, won't it?!! ;o>

[Craig White]

what's a 'dishwasher'?

more to the point, what's a 'pub'? :)

[Martin]

Said a tiny ant
To an elephant,
"Mind how you tread in this clearing!"
But alas! Cruel fate!
She was crushed by the weight
Of an elephant, hard of hearing.
(Spike Milligan)

[Craig White]

of course, and contrary to everywhere else on the planet, tonight, it's halloween in kilmarnock,

https://stv.tv/news/features/1371148-...

[suzysunshine7]

Tech wrote: "of course, and contrary to everywhere else on the planet, tonight, it's halloween in kilmarnock"

Ahhh Halloween - the night when all short people get to mask and dress up and blend in with kids much taller than themselves so that they get a share of the free Sweeties that are being handed out ;o>

[suzysunshine7]

How do you stop an Elephant from charging?

Take away his Credit Card ;o>

[Serial]

suzysunshine7 wrote: "Tech wrote: "of course, and contrary to everywhere else on the planet, tonight, it's halloween in kilmarnock"

Ahhh Halloween - the night when all short people get to mask and dress up and blend in..."

A pedophiles paradise.

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

I just said on twitter that I would like to try tripe. And was promptly followed by the Tripe Marketing Board...

Appropriate as I talk a lot of tripe on there!

[suzysunshine7]

Please tell me you haven't also mentioned your love of Elephants?!! ... it may not be a picture that gets sent to you next time around!!! ;oO

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Is there an Elephant Marketing Board?

*goes to check*

There are 3 different profiles called Elephant Marketing. I had better be careful!

[suzysunshine7]

And Twycross Zoo also announced a few months back that it was looking for somewhere to rehome all of it's Elephants while they close down and redevelop their enclosure! ;o>

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

suzysunshine7 wrote: "And Twycross Zoo also announced a few months back that it was looking for somewhere to rehome all of it's Elephants while they close down and redevelop their enclosure! ;o>"

I'm glad they didn't ask me!!

[miscellaneous]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "suzysunshine7 wrote: "And Twycross Zoo also announced a few months back that it was looking for somewhere to rehome all of it's Elephants while they close down and redevelop their enclosure! ;o>"

..."
Okay, fine. I'll take them. I have a big back yard and lots of room for ellepants to do whatever it is they do.

But I want one of those pink drinks Gingerlily is having.

[Gordon]

miscellaneous wrote: "Okay, fine. I'll take them. I have a big back yard and lots of room for ellepants to do whatever it is they do..."

My understanding is that elephants spend most of their time climbing trees, driving around in Minis, raiding fridges and hiding (upside-down) in bowls of custard.

[suzysunshine7]

Well, the African Bush Elephants certainly do, Gordon ... however the more general African ones apparently love to do High Intensity Cardio Aerobics and go Surfing, Skiing, Hang Gliding and Parachuting whilst the Asian Elephants prefer to sit around in Deckchairs painting their Toenails and discussing Proust ;o>

[miscellaneous]

Gordon wrote: "miscellaneous wrote: "Okay, fine. I'll take them. I have a big back yard and lots of room for ellepants to do whatever it is they do..."

My understanding is that elephants spend most of their time..."

That's true. Plus, they never forget anything. Ever! Talk about holding a grudge. But what I'm wondering is, what do I do with the... er... how do I dispose of the ...er...

Note to self: Buy really big pooper scooper.

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

I actually bought a notebook made of elephant dung a couple of years ago. They were selling it in Marks & Spencer. Nice textured paper, and not at all whiffy.

[suzysunshine7]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "I actually bought a notebook made of elephant dung a couple of years ago. They were selling it in Marks & Spencer. Nice textured paper, and not at all whiffy."

WHAT?!! ... ;oO ... ;oO ... ;oO

[Helen The Melon]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "I actually bought a notebook made of elephant dung a couple of years ago. They were selling it in Marks & Spencer. Nice textured paper, and not at all whiffy."

I have a lovely bookmark made from sheep poo!
http://www.sheeppoopaper.com

[suzysunshine7]

Helen The Melon wrote: "I have a lovely bookmark made from sheep poo! http://www.sheeppoopaper.com "

I'm just lost for words now?!! ;oO

[Post Soviet]

During the cold war Americans released book "Everything About Elephants".
Response from USSR was immediate: two books,
"Comradeship of Russian and Bulgarian Elephants Forever"
and
"Soviet Elephants - Greatest Elephants in the World"

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

And then there was the Irish books

Elephants and their role in the Famine
Easter Elephant Rising
Why Elephants cause Emigration
Michael Collins and his little known Elephant Fetish

[Serial]

You've covered all the classics there, GL.

Poor kids at school, it's all famine this, famine that etc etc

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Elephants and their Role in the Seige of Derry
Elephant troop numbers in the Battle of The Boyne

Those were the two we did over and over,

[Lez]

The RSPB newsletter tells of breeding success with the South Pennine Twite Project and in Myanmar, Gurney’s Pitta is doing well.

[suzysunshine7]

Awww, Gurney's Pitta is such a stunningly beautiful Bird ;o> ...

[Lez]

Yes, I’m glad he’s doing well. 😀

[Craig White]

c'mon the gurney's pitta! :)

[Serial]

Tech wrote: "c'mon the gurney's pitta! :)"

I'm sure there's a website that caters for that, Tech.

[Lez]

;-)

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

[Serial]

Needs a bit of avocado

[Post Soviet]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "Elephants and their Role in the Seige of Derry

Yeah, forgot another one, similar in tone,

"Elephants and Their Role in Great October Revolution"
'0)

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

[Post Soviet]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: ""

I know this place, been there three times, called Mahabalipuram,
not so far from Madras. First time was in 1999, remember awesome restaurant Moon Raker nearby ocean, featuring freshly caught made sea food, tattooed hippies and blasting Pink Floyd. Definitely worth a visit. Small place with loads to see.

[Lez]

You’re full of surprises, PS!

[Post Soviet]

Lez wrote: "You’re full of surprises, PS!"

Well, no. India is full of surprises.

http://s1320.photobucket.com/user/pos...

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Just saw this on Twitter. Type 'I was born' into your phone/tablet, and let the predictive text do the rest. This is what I ended up with:

"I was born in the middle of the year and I am the Green Goddess of fire up the number of devices allowed by the time I get a new one but we are a few days ago and I am the Green Goddess."

[Gordon]

...under a wand'rin' star

[suzysunshine7]

... with a smile on my face

;o>

[suzysunshine7]

... in a cross-fire hurricane

[suzysunshine7]

... to love you

[Uglybug]

HAA HAA
I got the cutest herd Elephants today in a delightfully surprise delivery!
Uglybug is happy....uglybug is happy....uglybug is a happy happy bug...
AND no my Elephants don’t go “trump, trump, trump”! They go ‘wanna nana, wanna nana, wanna nana, pleassssseeee’. If you give them their Nana they will sign a contract promising to tramp on trump.....;-)
Time now for the latest news headlines,
“Trump trampled by trumpeting trampers” the whitehouse announced earlier in a trunk call....

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

Looks like everyone in here is very happy today for some reason.

[Uglybug]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "Looks like everyone in here is very happy today for some reason."

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "Looks like everyone in here is very happy today for some reason."

Well it seems we abandoned and booted out extinct amazonians are all delighted at finally starting to settle in to our new forever home. Awwww, and .. re...laaaxxxx

[suzysunshine7]

Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: "Looks like everyone in here is very happy today for some reason."

I blame you entirely ... well, you, and also your Elephant as well! ;o>

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

[Gingerlily - The Full Wild]

[suzysunshine7]

Of course I would tell you if your Btm looked big in that Ra-Ra Skirt!!! ... (*giggles*) ... ;o> ... ;o> ... ;o>

[suzysunshine7]

It must be so challenging to be born a Duck who can't pronounce his 'D's' - LOL!!! ;o>

Ahhh, Fonald, I remember him well ...