Amazon exiles discussion
Trackless wastes
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The complete bo**ocks, talk tripe, no music allowed thread
I am eating Stroopwafels in my undetatched house.
I am eating Fruit Salad & Yoghurt in my Semi-detached house.... but I'll be off round to Gingerlily's in a few minutes for a Stroopwafel ;o>
Some random person has sent me a picture of an elephant. No letter or explanation. This is strange.
Through the post. If it was email I would at least have an email address.
Well? - it is a rather jolly looking Elephant and so whoever sent it must surely like you? ;o>
I'm not complaining about the elephant, I just want to know who its from.
Perhaps a friend sent it and accidentally forgot to put the Letter that went with it inside the Envelope as well?
... and it isn't Pink so that must mean Gingerlily is still sober? ;o>
suzysunshine7 wrote: "Perhaps a friend sent it and accidentally forgot to put the Letter that went with it inside the Envelope as well?"It is possible that it was my Mum and she did forget to write or add the letter. Otherwise I am at a loss.
It looks like it might be a Proof Copy for a Book Cover?
suzysunshine7 wrote: "It looks like it might be a Proof Copy for a Book Cover?"But I haven't written a book about elephants. Only a short story...
Actually I was thinking that someone might have sent it to see what you thought of it for a Book they were writing but forgot to enclose the Letter - but now you say that, perhaps someone sent it to you because it reminded them of your Short Story?
ask the bleedin' elephant! never forget, apparently!
Tech wrote: "ask the bleedin' elephant! never forget, apparently!"He isn't saying anything. maybe I need to feed him?
He's not having my Stroopwafel ! - you promised it to me ! ;oO
ain't getting the trunk round my stroopwaffel!
suzysunshine7 wrote: "He's not having my Stroopwafel ! - you promised it to me ! ;oO"Its ok, I have plenty
You have to ask yourself, what is the Elephant a precursor to?
Serial wrote: "You have to ask yourself, what is the Elephant a precursor to?"A severed head in my bed?
Serial wrote: "You have to ask yourself, what is the Elephant a precursor to?"A string of bad jokes?
Q. How do you get down from an elephant?
A. You don't. You get down from a duck.
I said to my American friend,you lot really don't understand irony. he replied "what the fuck have elephants teeth got to do with anything"?
Q. Why do elephant have pale yellow soles on their feet?A. So they can hide upside down in custard.
Getting a woolly elephant into a hearse would be a mammoth undertaking.
Q. How do you get 4 elephants in a Mini?A. 2 in the front and 2 in the back.
Q. How do you get 2 whales in a Mini?A. Along the M4 and across the Severn Bridge.
Gordon wrote: "Q. How do you get 2 whales in a Mini?A. Along the M4 and across the Severn Bridge."
That's pretty good.
Why do elephants fly first class?Trunks aren't allowed in economy...
My Goodreads ad for the day is from Irish Gold - apparently "Conor is out" - and I should care? Why?I'm blaming all you Irish folk on here for making me click on links!
Old Chestnuts CornerWhy do elephants have big ears?
Because Noddy won't pay the ransom.
Silly one
How do you know when youve got elephants in your fridge?
Footprints in the butter.
And one for the surrealists
A bear, a tiger and an elephant are walking down the road.
"Why have you got a busticket behind your ear?" the tiger said to the elephant.
The elephant looking confused replied, " I think I'm in the wrong joke!"
Can you put a giraffe in a MiniNo. There are four elephants already.
How do you know when you've got elephant in your fridge?
Slippers beside the fridge.
Dear Fellow Beneficiary,My name is Samuel Muth , a citizen of Canada , I have been trying to claim my fund valued Three Million dollars ($3,000,000.00) from Nigeria Government since 2002 without progress, Fraudsters keep on asking me to send money by western union, money gram , bank transfer for one reason or the other which made me to lose over $167,000, all the document they sent to me was fake .
I decided to travel to Nigeria with some vital information that I have from a friend who claimed his fund valued $6,000,000 (Six million dollars) with the assistance of Mr. Godwin Emefiele, Central Bank of Nigeria Governor, who is a very good Christian.
I open communication with Mr. Godwin Emefiele, who so much assisted me , I spent only 3 working days and claimed my fund in full payment into my bank accounts in Canada and Thailand. I only spent $250 (Two hundred and fifty dollars) only for legal documents. I also came back with my ORIGINAL DOCUMENT as a proof of ownership.
I also saw your file next to my own , is ready to be released . I just decided to notify you because I know that you must have been victimized by the fraudsters in Nigeria who claims to be top official in charge of your payment . The only solution is to stop all communication with any body and contact:
Mr. Godwin Emefiele,
Central Bank of Nigeria Governor,
Email: godwinmefiele575@outlook.com
Phone Number: +2348139245491
Contact him to enable you reclaim your fund ,your presence may not be needed in Nigeria , you can receive your fund without visiting Nigeria , he is a very good and sincere person.
Acknowledge the receipt of this email .
Sincerely , Samuel Muth . Canada . Emai: mills83123@gmail.com
HA HA HA HA HA!!! - I will do ;o>
suzysunshine7 wrote: "HA HA HA HA HA!!! - I will do ;o>"Indian elephants, just to make it more difficult for them!
Oooh, clever Derek, very clever! - LOL! ;o>
Derek wrote: "Indian elephants, just to make it more difficult for them!"They're too smart for that, Derek. They just trim the ears of African elephants and pass them off as Indians.
"All the royal family are Indian. Except Prince Charles. He's African. If he was Indian he'd have smaller ears." - Goodness Gracious Me ©1998
how do you know an elephant has been in your kitchen?it stinks with elephant shight, there's aw broken things, and the door's been knocked through!
Wud ye be able ta ken difference before an afta?
So, I wrote a very polite but clearly disappointed Email to Amazon simply asking them why they were now ensuring that small-time and occasional Sellers can no longer sell CDs on Amazon and, instead of getting any actual answers off them, they have just sent me this response instead ...From : pq-media-review@amazon.co.uk
Hello,
Thank you for your application to sell certain products in the Music category. We regret to inform you that your application has been declined. This decision was made, in part, due to our inability to verify the information you provided and/or information related to your Seller account such as prior selling history and listings.
We are unable to provide specific details regarding your application.
Sincerely,
Amazon Payments.
Writing to computers is never very productive, Suzy.I recently complained to my house-insurance company about its electronic communication methods. I've received numerous automated replies and - to date - two letters through the post telling me they haven't been able to respond yet. At least when rail companies do that they usually give you a travel voucher so you can have another journey to complain about.
Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: ""That's one happy-looking elephant, Gingerlily.
Gordon wrote: "Gingerlily - Mistress Lantern wrote: ""That's one happy-looking elephant, Gingerlily."
Yes, its one of my favourite pictures :)
'course he's happy! he just wrecked my ******* kitchen!
Gordon wrote: "Writing to computers is never very productive, Suzy.I recently complained to my house-insurance company about its electronic communication methods. I've received numerous automated replies and - ..."
Well, it was to where Sellers were supposed to respond to the Emails they were sent so I had hoped for a rather more personal response than a basic generic 'rejection' Email when I hadn't actually applied for anything at all - LOL!
The inference seems to be that huge companies who can provide Supplier Invoices and Paperwork yet sell on what can often turn out to be really crappy used CDs are somehow providing their Amazon Customers with "a great customer experience" - as opposed to Sellers like me who sell on maybe 5 to 10 CDs a year all at a really great price and all of them in absolutely immaculate 'Like New' condition as well.
I've just gone and shut my own Seller Account down rather than wait for them to do it for me - and I'll probably be looking into becoming a small-time and occasional eBay Seller now instead.
Amazon exiles
Books mentioned in this topic
MEGALOPHILIA: MONOKUBO ARTWORKS (other topics)Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men (other topics)
Paul Hollywood's Pies and Puds (other topics)
The Plight of the Lady Gingerlily: (other topics)
The Plight of the Lady Gingerlily: (other topics)
More...
Biscuits were always good for a reaction too 😀