The complete bo**ocks, talk tripe, no music allowed thread Showing 2,651-2,700 of 3,123

[SussexWelsh]

I also won't enter a 'spoons, Derek. Greene King will also never get my custom.

[Brass Neck]

Derek wrote: "Run by a brexiter for brexiters. It's my own little personal revenge not to spend money anywhere that I know is owned by a brexiter. Dyson can get stuffed as well."

Small victory - I fixed the split extension hose on our Dyson for a tenner on a non-original part instead of £30 for a Dyson one. Dyson's been a great advocate of the UK long before Brexit when he opened a manufacturing base in Malaysia and shut his Wiltshire factory in 2002, then shifting the HQ to Singapore in 2019. Way to back UK industry Sir James.

[Derek]

SussexWelsh wrote: "I also won't enter a 'spoons, Derek. Greene King will also never get my custom."

Thank you Sussex I'll add Greene King to my list:-)

[Derek]

....and if I ever need to buy some earth moving machinery, unlikely though that may be, JCB can get stuffed too.

[Serial]

Brass Neck wrote: "One for Serial;

I went to a fetish restaurant last night. I got toed in the hole."

10/10

Pure quality

[Brass Neck]

Laughed till I cried.

https://www.facebook.com/sleepytot/ph...

[Brass Neck]

The only bollocks & tripe here is that of our wonderful puppet government mercilessly exposed. Hilarious and chilling in equal measure, the ever-reliable Marina Hyde hoists Cummings & Bozza's anti-plan on its own petard;
https://www.theguardian.com/commentis...

[Helen The Melon]

I've only just come across this YouTube channel: Bad Lip Reading. They have some extremely silly but genius videos:-

Royal Wedding - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SKV6h_5...

Apple Product Launch - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ArjUUDh...

Apologies if this has been posted before. Old "Searchy" is not performing as it should be so I couldn't check.

[Val]

Well I laughed Helen! Especially at the Apple one.

[Helen The Melon]

Val wrote: "Well I laughed Helen! Especially at the Apple one."

Me too, Val. I thought they were hilarious. Random, but hilarious. 😀

[suzysunshine7]

I tend to do quite a bit of Lip Reading myself - and I couldn't distinguish anything different on almost all of those hilarious interpretations of what they were actually saying either?!! - LOL!!! ;o>

[Sera69]

Word of the day, and utterly new to me...

...I had a near-conniption while reading...

conniption
/kəˈnɪpʃ(ə)n/
noun INFORMAL•NORTH AMERICAN
a fit of rage or hysterics.
"his client was having conniptions on the phone"

I shall be using "you'll have conniptions" and variations as often as possible from henceforth

[suzysunshine7]

There was a generation of elderly Aunts in my extended family who used to get together and talk in rather loud whispers about ... "Women's things that earnest little Ears should not be listening to!" ... which surely must have referred to me because I so vividly remember them keeping on saying this! - LOL!!! ;o>

They often used to talk of "hot flushes" and having "an attack of the vapours" ... and for far too many years I always thought that what they must be talking about was having Diarrhoea and bad bouts of Wind!!! ;oO

[Brass Neck]

Sera69 wrote: "Word of the day, and utterly new to me...

...I had a near-conniption while reading...

conniption
/kəˈnɪpʃ(ə)n/
noun INFORMAL•NORTH AMERICAN
a fit of rage or hysterics.
"his client was having conn..."

"I shall be using "you'll have conniptions" and variations as often as possible from henceforth" - is nips a suitable contraction?
I've heard of it before but usually with the word fit(s) appended - plenty of songs and even band named thus.

[Helen The Melon]

Leaf Sheep. Who knew? - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=n8JI9CJ...

Just me that thinks they're kind of "cute" then?

[suzysunshine7]

Awww, I think they are gorgeous ... almost 'cartoonish' in looks! ;o>

[Lez]

Yuk! They're still slugs!

[Brass Neck]

Lez wrote: "Yuk! They're still slugs!"

Don't suppose pouring salt on a sea slug works.........

[Helen The Melon]

And yet more time wasting on YouTube meant that I came across this channel the other week - Foil, Arms & Hog comedy trio from Ireland. Thought I'd be generous and share it with you all. Some of their sketches are rather amusing: -

Telling your family you're vegan - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HFC0vUh...

Irish farmer vs. Universal Music - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XkHXkRh...

Millennials in the future - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KAR43gw...

[Tim]

Some interesting covid number crunching on which I'll leave no comment

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bpu87...

[Helen The Melon]

I'm liking some of these:-



https://wronghands1.files.wordpress.c...

Think I'm going to start saying "what tomfoolery"...

[suzysunshine7]

L O L ! ... ;o>

I rather like ... Off Fighting Crusades ... ;o>

[Brass Neck]

MILF - Minstrel In Lady's Frock? Minstrel In Lute Fight?
IDK - Incapably Drunken Knight?
TBF - Tonsorially Bald Friar?

[SussexWelsh]

I have no idea what OFC is meant to stand for (or AFK).

[Serial]

Leach Marks All Over

My favorite!

[suzysunshine7]

I had to Google them, Sussex ;o>

OFC apparently means ... 'of course'

AFK I know because it once featured in an Episode of 'The Big Bang Theory' and is Gamer's Slang for ... 'away from keyboard'

[Brass Neck]

SussexWelsh wrote: "I have no idea what OFC is meant to stand for (or AFK)."

OF Course apparently ... of course.

Should you wish to apprise yourself more fully of the utter corruption of the English language that is textspeak;

https://www.webopedia.com/quick_ref/t...

[SussexWelsh]

Thanks for that Brass but I think I might just (but only just) survive without knowing

[Brass Neck]

STFU - Serfs Totally Feudal Underlings? Squire Tickles Friar's Undercarriage? Struggling Tenant Farmers' Umbrage?

PML - Peasantry Means Landlessness

OFC - Outrageous F***ing Codpiece

[Brass Neck]

Whilst I would never buy one, they're almost certainly from China, may not match the quality of the image and at £22 plus postage will incur import taxes and a post office handling charge (enough caveats?) these look quite original?

https://flashsalemart.com/collections...

[Craig White]

ye'd get the pish ripped oot ye in killie king street!

i wouldn't either, but i like the nasa one.

[Brass Neck]

Tech XXIII wrote: "ye'd get the pish ripped oot ye in killie king street!

i wouldn't either, but i like the nasa one."

Did you miss an apostrophe before king?

[Craig White]

no, i did not, you cheeky bastid! there is a special disused shop front for that kind of thing!

[Brass Neck]

Is that a step up or down from a bus shelter?

[Craig White]

no step, but there's usually an empty buckie crate for the connoisseur of the finer, more complex manoeuvres.

[Gordon]

In Shrewsbury they go to Grope Lane.

[Brass Neck]

Gordon wrote: "In Shrewsbury they go to Grope Lane."

There's a village up on the Lincs Wolds where I used to cycle past Fanny Hands Lane. Best stick at second base?

[Brass Neck]

One for Tech excepting the left circle's waaay too big.
https://brawtees.teemill.com/product/...

[Brass Neck]

And one for me (I must've earned honorary Grimbarian status after 38 years)?
https://brawtees.teemill.com/product/...

[Craig White]

"waaay too big"

way way way too big!

however, this came the other day, and fits perfectly.

amazon.co.uk/Tribal-T-Shirts-Reggae-T...

[Brass Neck]

"and fits perfectly." - from MarqueesRUs?

[Gordon]

I wonder if a yam yam who emigrated to the USA would dare to wear one of these?

https://www.blackcountrytshirts.com/p...

[SussexWelsh]

Brass Neck wrote: "Gordon wrote: "In Shrewsbury they go to Grope Lane."

There's a village up on the Lincs Wolds where I used to cycle past Fanny Hands Lane. Best stick at second base?"

Its name begins with "L" I believe, Brass? ,,,, I know it quite well.

[Brass Neck]

SussexWelsh wrote: "Brass Neck wrote: "Gordon wrote: "In Shrewsbury they go to Grope Lane."

There's a village up on the Lincs Wolds where I used to cycle past Fanny Hands Lane. Best stick at second base?"

Its name b..."

Ludford, so named because there was a ford through the R Lud?

[SussexWelsh]

Indeed. I wasn't sure if you had chosen not to reveal its identity.

[Brass Neck]

No, just forgotten until given a gentle nudge.

[Serial]

Pub renames itself The Three Bellends with dig at Johnson, Hancock and Cummings


Read more: https://metro.co.uk/2020/10/14/wirral...

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MetroUK | Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MetroUK/

[Tim]

LOL. Shame the traditional name isn't the four bells. They could have added Ferguson in then.

[Brass Neck]

Tim wrote: "LOL. Shame the traditional name isn't the four bells. They could have added Ferguson in then."

..... or Jenrick - mainly entitled/incompetent science-ignoring Tory tossers who're mishandling the whole show mahoosively while bunging multi-million/billion contracts to failing private contractors without any Parliamentary oversight.

Anyway what's Sir Alec got to do with it?

[Brass Neck]

Serial wrote: "Pub renames itself The Three Bellends with dig at Johnson, Hancock and Cummings


Read more: https://metro.co.uk/2020/10/14/wirral......"

They should do a t shirt with that image on it for NHS charity. I'd buy and wear it.