The complete bo**ocks, talk tripe, no music allowed thread Showing 2,551-2,600 of 3,123

[Craig White]

dunno, i got some useful decorative lights from 'clattyolho' products!

[Gordon]

https://groceries.asda.com/product/co...

[suzysunshine7]

Brass Neck wrote: "Today's zon deal of the day is, as almost always, useless tat but there has to be a better name for a manufacturing brand?

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01LF1K70..."

I was having a laugh at that one too, Mr B! ;o>

[suzysunshine7]

Can anyone manage to beat this one for a bizarre Amazon Listing?!! ...

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Younthone-Br...

• fly spandex compression baggy fit silk bla tight seamless sports microfiber store cool lycra sets xxl shorts pink funny jersey cheap styles string hipster hot branded support a front underwear4men and red with underpants slip polyester large medium pricing valentines pa uk under diesel leg blog xl groom tartan vs wedding shop england next types used braids definition 12 cartoon panties funny underwear womens mens novelty plus size slimming
• on sale pearl seamless cotton nylon thong bikini edible best bra brands pretty lacy red briefs micro open fancy hipster yellow kniers men wearing pantys string panty cute skimpy hot bla tiny nice transparent kids tennis green big crotch buy used lingerie small spicy bras for year olds bralletes shiny pants blue busty smelly images vintage pantyhose body siluette pink lingere s stuffed stained lace asian stiy damp diva young forced to wear boys
• Nylon/nylon
• skirt barely there dress ebony sleeping women's styles creamy anime rub magic silk visible removing hand in sisters 80s messy soaked character 1920s thongs man cheeky shorts 70s sissy secretary down corset before and after body shaper panties control briefs shapewear pants kniers all in one underwear tummy tu support tights panty best leggings hold slimming waist magic firm stomach high waisted women's baless women ladies uk shaping pants
• lingerie trousers shape full low ba flattening for me bra shapes shorts corset sculpting no vpl bodysuit girdle white womens seamless belly dresses extra cincher smoothing that you slip plus size cheap thigh top skirt reviews dress wear your own lace strapless slim light bridal thong and pull holds bla under invisible tesco tuing spencer with slips shapers new look next high waisted briefs panties cotton boyshort lingerie cut french
• green uk purple red blue in panties ladies luxury store white retro stoings shop bla micro french pink male pvc sexy female men xxx art bra lingerie mens thongs mens underwear women's underwear ladies underwear push up bra corset panties thong seamless g string seamless underwear kniers thong sets mens silk sale thermal bridal lace wedding womens uk cotton cheap best sports support bra red boys no vpl pants women male kids shop bla lacy

... and that's only just the description that is listed under the S size!!! ;oO

[Serial]

suzysunshine7 wrote: "Can anyone manage to beat this one for a bizarre Amazon Listing?!! ...

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Younthone-Br......"

Hell, that description is like some fever dream.

[Tim]

The mind boggles at the 'forced to wear boys' bit. What could it possibly mean?

[suzysunshine7]

When you click on the Sizes and Colours you pull up even more funny, weirdly obscure and downright bizarre ramblings?!! It's often obvious that some Sellers are using something like Google Translate to create Listings in the English Language but these really are something else, aren't they?

Like a Computer caught rambling on to itself in a new-found stream of consciousness?!!

;o>

[Brass Neck]

suzysunshine7 wrote: "Can anyone manage to beat this one for a bizarre Amazon Listing?!! ...

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Younthone-Br......"

A Yorkshireman would have simply written; wear wi' owt tha likes...….. lass.

[Tim]

suzysunshine7 wrote: "When you click on the Sizes and Colours you pull up even more funny, weirdly obscure and downright bizarre ramblings?!! It's often obvious that some Sellers are using something like Google Translat..."

Certainly a touch of those old 1970s translations from Japanese. 🤪

[Sera69]

Description is obviously trying to catch the key word searches of any number of ...uh... differently creative types!

[Serial]

Sera69 wrote: "Description is obviously trying to catch the key word searches of any number of ...uh... differently creative types!"

A wide net to catch all manner of weirdos

[Helen The Melon]

Today's spam email of choice:-

"Hello siberiahills!
Thank you for your purchase, we appreciate your patronage.

Your profile (siberiahills) has been credited and you can connect at any time to experience your new products in Woozworld™!

Your transaction was completed successfully.
Offer selected: WoozDeal: 1,000 Wooz + 6 Months VIP + 2 Faces
Price including regional taxes: 6.99 CAD
Payment method: Mobile in-app iTunes Store

Please remind your children to never give their Woozworld™ login information to anyone, for any reason.

You can access the "Settings" section of your account, at any time. Here's how:
1. Login to your account.
2. Click the "Settings" icon which is located on the upper right corner of the screen (represented by a hammer and wrench).

From there you can change your account’s e-mail address, password and manage or cancel your Woozworld VIP subscription. You can also change your preferences concerning Woozworld's newsletter as well as in-game and e-mail notifications.

Security in Woozworld™
Our virtual world has the highest standards in terms of online safety. Keeping your kids safe and respecting their privacy is our top priority!

Woozworld is fully COPPA compliant (Children's Online Privacy Protection Act), as certified by PRIVO®. Your kids' personal information will never be shared with any third party.

If you have any questions about Woozworld™, please visit our FAQ or submit a help request at:
http://help.woozworld.com/

Thank you for playing Woozworld™!
The Woozband Team
http://www.woozworld.com"


WTF is Woozworld? I'm reluctant to Google it in case it's something dodgy. And who the hell is siberiahills? And where are these children I supposedly have?

[Derek]

Apparently:

"Woozworld, is a virtual gaming community and social network service founded in 2010 and headquartered in Montreal, Quebec. Woozworld allows tweens and teens to connect with each other through customizable profiles and interactive activities."

Can't help you with finding your presumably non-existent children.

I'd keep a close eye on your credit/debit card bills for a while, just in case if I were you.

[Helen The Melon]

Derek wrote: "Apparently:

"Woozworld, is a virtual gaming community and social network service founded in 2010 and headquartered in Montreal, Quebec. Woozworld allows tweens and teens to connect with each other..."

Thanks Derek. I always check my debit/credit card statements anyway.
Now, what shall I do with those 1,000 Wooz & 2 faces I supposedly now have?

[Brass Neck]

In an idle moment (as opposed to the usual excitement of lockdown life) I went on the local news website and found these headlines;

Family heartbroken as ashes disturbed by burglar ransacking bedroom shrine to son who died drying his hair
(the mind boggles but he had a clot on the brain totally unrelated to his tonsorial titivation)

Man gets stuck in mud trying to rescue his dog on last Cleethorpes beach walk before he is put down
(I do hope the dog is rehomed after his owner's date with Dignitas?!)

[Helen The Melon]

Hee hee.

Getting Home From the Club at 5am - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zJNBPbX...

[Brass Neck]

I did a search for Jack Rabbit Slim Best Of review and most of the results were pertinent but there, at the bottom of the first page, was an offering from consumer testers Good Housekeeping;

https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/uk/p...

Would have thought investing in one of those would encourage much housekeeping? Very informative nonetheless.

[Brass Neck]

Hull used to regularly (and rightly) win the annual worst s**thole town but now it doesn't even make the top 10.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news...

[Tim]

No Luton? Fake list.

[Brass Neck]

Is there anything they can't do a top ten of?

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/uknews...

Good to see the Lincolnshire coast doing so well! Cleethorpes, Mablethorpe and Skeggy all in worst 10 resorts.

https://www.theguardian.com/business/...

[Lez]

My widely-travelled husband always cited Glossop as the a...hole of the Empire, closely followed by Paisley.

[Tim]

Brass Neck wrote: "Is there anything they can't do a top ten of?

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/uknews...

Good to se..."

Is the Cotswolds toppermost of the stinks because of all the city slickers complaining about normal countryside odours?

[Brass Neck]

That was my conclusion; just a load of bovine ordure really. They've never lived in the heart of Grimsby when a rare northerly wafts the balmy scent of the fishmeal factory over. Thankfully I haven't experienced that for over a quarter of a century but once smelt never forgotten.

[Derek]

Well the smelliest places I've ever been to are Gilroy in California (the Garlic Capital of the World apparently) and Bridgewater in Somerset when the cellophane factory was still open.

[Lez]

My bit of L'Pool, although a pleasant area, was home to Hunter's Handy Hams. Really yucky.

[Helen The Melon]

Urgh, chicken farms are particularly pongy, oh, & pig farms too. Some of the whisky distilleries up here can be a bit whiffy.

Perhaps Gordon remembers these? There used to be a maggot farm/factory in Telford. Oh my goodness, the smell was unlike anything else, vomit inducing.
And the creamery at Crudginton used to get rather smelly sometimes. Oooof.

[Brass Neck]

Whitbread had a brewery on Lady's Bridge in central Sheffield. I remember occasions when the odour they released made me gag as a kid.

[Val]

We had a yeast factory at South Yarra station. It later became a brothel. Now a swanky high-rise apartment block. I still miss the smell from the factory.

[Craig White]

hmmm?
yeast - rise
brothel - rise
high-rise - rise
a theme?

i miss the smell from the brothel

[Serial]

'I love the smell of yeast in the morning'

Applicable to Marmite factories and some less salubrious brothels.

[Brass Neck]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vRp7t...

[Brass Neck]

Tech XXIII wrote: "hmmm?
yeast - rise
brothel - rise
high-rise - rise
a theme?

i miss the smell from the brothel"

Which was probably yeast infections!

[Lez]

From someone on the Radio 3 Forum:

A large notice in the window of our local independent stationery store announcing that the business is for sale includes the following statement - presumably an explanation for the decision to sell:
"We are re-aligning our value expectations "

[Serial]

https://www.irishexaminer.com/news/co...

[Brass Neck]

I've heard of a woman slipping on her mules but never slipping on Muffin (the).

[Helen The Melon]

I think these are quite old but still amusing:-

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to
absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the
boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the
crap out of an electronic device to get it to work
again.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers
beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

[Helen The Melon]

And these:-

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT (Umm, not sure about that!)

1. He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
2. Its not his CRACK you see hanging out of his trousers/pants - It's REARCLEAVAGE.
3. He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
4. He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
5. He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
6. He does not act like a TOTAL ARSE - He develops a case of
RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION
7. He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY.
8. He is not afraid of COMMITMENT - He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

[suzysunshine7]

! ! ! ... ;oO

[nocheese]

I came across ‘doomscrolling’ the other day, describing the compulsion to read through all the posts about covid, climate change etc on your Facebook feed.

[TheFoe]

One thing that bugs me about Wiley's anti-semitic rants on twitter, (apart from the obvious), is that whenever I see a profile picture of him, he's donning a Tottenham Hotspur t-shirt. Somebody should really tell him.

[Helen The Melon]

nocheese wrote: "I came across ‘doomscrolling’ the other day..."

I only came across the term "google-fu" a week or two ago. Never heard of it before but I assume I'm the last to know about it?!

https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/Goog...

[Serial]

Helen The Melon wrote: "nocheese wrote: "I came across ‘doomscrolling’ the other day..."

I only came across the term "google-fu" a week or two ago. Never heard of it before but I assume I'm the last to know about it?!

h..."

You're not, it's a new one to me!

[TheFoe]

And me.

[suzysunshine7]

Me too! ;o>

[Lez]

And me.

[Post Soviet]

+1

[Brass Neck]

I thought it was Google's response to corporate tax demands?

[TheFoe]

Brass Neck wrote: "I thought it was Google's response to corporate tax demands?"

Ha ha.

[suzysunshine7]

All hail our Helen!!! - our bountiful bringer of knowledge and wisdom!!! ;o>

[[deleted user]]

https://www.thedrinksbusiness.com/202...