Amazon exiles discussion
Trackless wastes
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The complete bo**ocks, talk tripe, no music allowed thread
Lez wrote: "Val, do you know about this lot?https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-05-2..."
First I've heard of them Lez but thanks for pointing them out - I will catch up with the episode of Australian Story on i-view. I like their humour:
Mark isn't letting COVID-19 restrictions stop the choir singing.
"We are choir born for pandemics, most infectious choir on the planet right now," he says. "We invite President Putin to come to Mullumgrad to hang out in the river together. We take off our shirts and cover ourselves in macadamia butter and see what happens," he says.
We'll have to get Post to adjudicate and let us know what he thinks!
Val wrote: "Lez wrote: "Val, do you know about this lot?https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-05-2..."
First I've heard of them Lez but thank..."
Heheh, choir is pretty good, most important - possessing right attitude and passion!
I've got to go up there and see that for myself :)
Love some Jonathan Pie, his lockdown stuff has been great.Wash your hands >> Stay home >> Check if you're going blind by operating heavy machinery on public roads
hehe
Why is it that the boxes of ice cubes I delivered this morning have got a 'best before/use by' date on them?
Because Water that they have used to make them comes with a Best Before Date? ;o>Nothing ever lasts forever, you know ;o>
Grizzlygrump wrote: "Why is it that the boxes of ice cubes I delivered this morning have got a 'best before/use by' date on them?"How are they packaged and kept cold? Are they surrounded by ice-cubes?
Ice Cubes kept cold by Ice Cubes kept cold by Ice Cubes kept cold by Ice ...HELP!!! - my Brain just went BANG! - and shut-down on me!!! ;oO
suzysunshine7 wrote: "Ice Cubes kept cold by Ice Cubes kept cold by Ice Cubes kept cold by Ice ...HELP!!! - my Brain just went BANG! - and shut-down on me!!! ;oO"
you need to cool off, why not reach for some ice cubes?
As a child, Lyosha dreamed of becoming an astronaut, Vanya - an athlete, and Seryozha an alcoholic. As a result, the first two drank themselves, only the third one, Seryozha, fulfilled his dream.
The tractor driver Uncle Slava tried not to drink for some time. And on the sixth day, he began to remember that 12 years ago, being a successful metropolitan cardiologist Solomon Markovich Shniperson, he came to this village just to fish a little ...
Should we be taking notes and is there a test at the end? Is Uncle Slava related to Lyosha, Vanya or Seryozha, and what was he fishing for? And why isn't he Uncle Solomon. This is getting waaay to complicated for my rum soaked brain!
Poor old Post has finally lost the plot.
Just a couple of russian booze related anecdotes. Supposed to be good ones. Maybe will try to explain later? On the other hand - analysing joke, what's the point...For now - just blame different mentalities.
Did you miss out a couple of key words in the 1st one, shouldn't it have been "the first two drank themselves TO DEATH"?
Brass Neck wrote: "Did you miss out a couple of key words in the 1st one, shouldn't it have been "the first two drank themselves TO DEATH"?"Alright, have to admit I used google translator, I am incredibly lazy and not very good on typing. No, not to death. The idea is all three of them became alcoholics, first two against their will, which makes them losers, third one - the winner! It's not typical russian anecdote, I think, as it's both funny and bit philosophical. I mean, think well what you're wishing for.
Normally russian anecdotes are missing british subtlety, word play and ambiguity, they go straight to the point, very rudely using strong slang called "мат", you very rarely hear it in movies, on tv, books, mostly used informal conversations.
TheFoe wrote: "Should we be taking notes and is there a test at the end? Is Uncle Slava related to Lyosha, Vanya or Seryozha, and what was he fishing for? And why isn't he Uncle Solomon. This is getting waaay to ..."Ok Foe, let's try in right order,
1. There is no need for notes or test unless you feel urge to do so.
2. Uncle Slava is not related to Lyosha, Vanya and Seryozha, boys belong to to different tale.
3. Trouts and Perches. Sorry forgot to mention.
4. "And why isn't he Uncle Solomon"
Now here is the whole point. He came to the village as Jewish cardiologist, as his ultra-hardcore 100% Jewish sounding full name is implying. Russians love making fun of Jews, secretly they admit their superiority in intellectual and cultural sphere, but trying to compensate it elsewhere - in anecdotes for example. Plus not to forget Russians love to mask their vices as advantages, in this case, love for booze and ability to drink for weeks as some kind of super power. So we have here Solomon Markovich Shniperson, smart big city doctor in the beginning, he gets involved in drinking with locals and... voila! He's a weekling of course, not able to keep up with "real men" and in process becoming Uncle Slava, totally losing his memory, identity, gets russified all the way. On one hand - degraded, on the other - he is one of us now!
Last thing Foe, replace rum with vodka. It might simplify things in the end! '0)
Lez wrote: "Poor old Post has finally lost the plot."Hi Lez. I'm afraid I lost the plot long ago - in early 90s. My first wife didn't mind squirrels coming to our house and talking to me (well, she didn't see little lovely creatures, I did). Real problems kicked in when I went to the woods with return visit.
It was my binge drinking period.
Post Soviet wrote: "bollocks anyway..."Colossal bollocks indeed.
Towering beast like bollocks, swinging towards your upturned face like deadly wrinkly warm pendulums.
At last some proper bollocks talk.About time this thread got re-invigorated and rose up proud.
Had a lovely spam email today:-"Hello Mr (Mrs) HELEN, I'm A Student And I'm Honored To Be Selling T-Shirts For You.
I have all Size - Color - Product Type - Gender
Guaranteed Delivery in 4-10 days for you
I know you very love your Family and want have T-Shirt for your Family. I would be honored to sell T-Shirts for you, Help me have many orders. Thank you a lot, Have a good day.
BIG SALE OFF WITH COUPON 20% : TEE4NAMES
Bookmark Page Below For Daily Updating ..."
I certainly do very love my family but I'm really not bothered whether or not I have T-shirt for them. I'm also very disappointed that there were no links, no website info, nothing, no actual page for bookmarking. What's the point of a spam email without any dodgy links?
Lez wrote: "https://youtu.be/5q7HkxNhnXA"That's great!
We were shown some really traumatising, horrific public information films in infant school - kids getting trapped in disused dumped fridges & freezers, don't accept sweets from strangers or get in their car, what happens if you mess with fireworks, dangers of crossing/playing on railway lines, kids being electrocuted when flying their kites near pylons, kids being electrocuted when going into substations & even some still about what to do when there's a nuclear war (this was early '80s).
They were really graphic & the stuff of nightmares for 5/6/7yr olds.
Eg.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-yGTrd...
Helen The Melon wrote: "Lez wrote: "https://youtu.be/5q7HkxNhnXA"That's great!
We were shown some really traumatising, horrific public information films in infant school - kids getting trapped in disused dumped fridges..."
It was railway line ones that got to me - as an adult!
A lot of those films were pointlessly shown on TV after the watershed.
Post Soviet wrote: "Just a couple of russian booze related anecdotes. Supposed to be good ones. Maybe will try to explain later? On the other hand - analysing joke, what's the point...For now - just blame different m..."
It comes across to me as being more of a bleaker sharper no-frills kind of observational humour that I rather like, Post. Thank you for sharing ;o>
Helen The Melon wrote: "Lez wrote: "https://youtu.be/5q7HkxNhnXA"That's great!
We were shown some really traumatising, horrific public information films in infant school - kids getting trapped in disused dumped fridges..."
It was the gravel pit one that got me, even though I've never been near one in my life...
Helen The Melon wrote: "Had a lovely spam email today:-"Hello Mr (Mrs) HELEN, I'm A Student And I'm Honored To Be Selling T-Shirts For You.
I have all Size - Color - Product Type - Gender
Guaranteed Delivery in 4-10 day..."
... "Honored To Be Selling T-Shirts For You" ... does this mean then that you are getting all the Profits from every T-Shirt that they sell, Helen? ... Ohhh, isn't that just SO incredibly generous of them!!! ;o>
What are you planning to buy with all of the money that you will be receiving?
Something about tin cans and their danger to wildlife got me, I've never left a can lid half on after seeing that public information film.
This one was particularly harrowing. Kids and electricity, not a good mix.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDEwd...
Squirrels aside, here is Irishman talking to the badgers. No kidding.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tq1uj...
Priests for Potatoes Exchange Scheme! ... I love it!!! ;o>
suzysunshine7 wrote: "Priests for Potatoes Exchange Scheme! ... I love it!!! ;o>"In ireland they had these calculators they gave out to convert punts to euro. When the Euro was introduced.
I'm thinking a Priest to Spuds calculator could be a winner.
As they used to say, "We all know how many priests died in the famine..."Not until the last prince is strangled with the entrails of the last priest will man be truly free.
- Diderot, or Voltaire, or Meslier, or someone else
Today's zon deal of the day is, as almost always, useless tat but there has to be a better name for a manufacturing brand?https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01LF1K70...
Amazon exiles
Books mentioned in this topic
MEGALOPHILIA: MONOKUBO ARTWORKS (other topics)Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men (other topics)
Paul Hollywood's Pies and Puds (other topics)
The Plight of the Lady Gingerlily: (other topics)
The Plight of the Lady Gingerlily: (other topics)
More...
https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-05-2...