Amazon exiles discussion
Trackless wastes
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The complete bo**ocks, talk tripe, no music allowed thread
And Val, this Melbourne based lady makes fab masks/costumes out of cardboard. She also has a site selling templates, instructions etc. - something for your grandchildren as they get a bit older?https://www.boredpanda.com/diy-cardbo...
Yes, I'm time wasting but I like some of these:-10 words that don't exist....but should
1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your toes.
2. CARPERPETUATION (kar'pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
3. DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of confection (lollipop) you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, assuming this will somehow 'remove' all the germs/debris.
4. ELBONICS (el bon'iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a cinema/theater.
5. FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until they finally decide to give up and sweep it under the rug.
6. LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the 'open here' spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the 'illegal' side.
7. PEPPIER (peph ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want fresh ground pepper.
8. PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.
9. PUPKUS (pup'kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.
10. TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.
Helen The Melon wrote: "Yes, I'm time wasting but I like some of these:-10 words that don't exist....but should
1. AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks'trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub tap on and off with your..."
hehe.. definitely have Phonesia!
Some wordy people here might enjoy The positive lexicography. Pick a theme or language for a fun list of untranslatable words/feelings/thoughts etc.
A quick look brought me the Icelandic Gluggaveður or Window weather. Weather that is pleasant to look at through a window, but unpleasant to be outside in (e.g., cold, windy).
And something else & then I promise I'll go away for the rest of the day...Some great questions & reviews here on Amazon.com re: "BIC Cristal For Her" which "has an elegant design - just for Her! It features a thin barrel designed to fit a women's hand. It has a diamond engraved barrel for an elegant and unique feminine style."
https://www.amazon.com/BIC-Cristal-1-...
I now realise my mum was talking of 'Window Weather'. She used to stand at the window saying: "By Jove, that wind looks cold".
Helen The Melon wrote: "And Val, this Melbourne based lady makes fab masks/costumes out of cardboard. She also has a site selling templates, instructions etc. - something for your grandchildren as they get a bit older?h..."
Thanks so much Helen! I've forwarded her website to the parents of my grandchildren.
Helen The Melon wrote: "Some great questions & reviews here on Amazon.com re: "BIC Cristal For Her" which "has an elegant design - just for Her!..."Helen - you have me wasting far too much time! I loved:
I used one of these pens post-hysterectomy, and my uterus grew back. Thanks a lot, Bic. Thanks a whole hell of a lot.
We are frantically waiting for the plus or minus sign to appear, but ... nothing. My wife peed on all sixteen of them and none seem to work. Worst pregnancy tests EVER!
Helen The Melon wrote: "10 words that don't exist....but shouldr..."
I am definitely guilty of lactomangulation and now I have a word for it! And pupkus keeps appearing mysteriously - probably from the three dogs we get to babysit when everyone is away.
Helen The Melon wrote: "And something else & then I promise I'll go away for the rest of the day...Some great questions & reviews here on Amazon.com re: "BIC Cristal For Her" which "has an elegant design - just for Her!..."
No question, the Bic thing is patronising and annoying. However, may I draw attention to this title?
Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men
It's infuriating.
Helen The Melon wrote: "More random YouTube silliness:- Guinea pig interview - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jW3XtKB..."
Am I really getting twenty dollars?
Made me laugh.
😁There's another amusing one where they're talking about pumpkin spice coffee - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1IZCHaB...
"No more cheese before bed, your dreams are crazy"!!
Helen The Melon wrote: "😁There's another amusing one where they're talking about pumpkin spice coffee - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1IZCHaB...
"No more cheese before bed, your dreams are crazy"!!"
"If you concentrate real hard you can smell it"
The same guy has also done one where they're reacting to watching clips of Donald Trump, most amusing - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PQHrTKr..."Piggie: Well he looks nice enough. I mean, he looks like my cousin.
Guy: No, that's his hair.
Piggie: You mean that's not a guinea pig? Donald Trump is the guy under that?"
Hee hee.
& I love the bit with the corn! "That's just an insult to food".
😁
I may have been wasting time on the internet/YouTube again yesterday when the workmen were seeing to my insulation and it's only fair to share some of it with you lot...I eat mainly veggie food but still find bits of this v amusing: -
"If meet eaters acted like vegans" - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=z0O_VYc...
And the same guy explains "How to be a real man", hee hee - https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=y...
Is it too soon to say Covid-19 seems to have gone viral?
Brass Neck wrote: "Is it too soon to say Covid-19 seems to have gone viral?"Never been a fan of populism or these trendy hipsterisms so i won't be participating.
:P
Burning calories: pig starts farm fire by excreting pedometerFirefighters in North Yorkshire have tackled a blaze that broke out after a pig swallowed a pedometer which then combusted in its pen after excretion.
The fire crews were called to a blaze covering 75 square metres at four pigpens in Bramham, near Leeds, on Saturday afternoon.
The North Yorkshire fire and rescue service said the fire was caused by “nature taking its course” and copper from the pedometer battery reacting with dry hay and the pigpen’s contents.
The pedometer was being used to prove the animal was free range and had been taken off one of its fellow pigs.
No animals were harmed as a result of the fire.
Aaargh, can't get this pic to show clearly enough, so here's the article - https://www.mysuncoast.com/2020/03/11...
Lez wrote: "Burning calories: pig starts farm fire by excreting pedometerFirefighters in North Yorkshire have tackled a blaze that broke out after a pig swallowed a pedometer which then combusted in its pen ...".
Put me in mind of ‘A Dissertation upon Roast Pig’ from’ The Essays of Elia’.
nocheese wrote: "Val wrote: ""😂
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cL7jy...."
The Aldi/Lidl list sounds a bit like my Amazon recommendations...
Found a nice "short but sweet" one - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6PA46ia...Anyone who's ever owned a cat will know that it would be impossible to put a turban on one (hello process Leia), nevermind get it to happily stand in a tub of water and enjoy a shower.
Edit: Argh, Princess Leia, not process. Stupid autocorrect. Only just noticed!
Helen The Melon wrote: "Found a nice "short but sweet" one - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6PA46ia...Anyone who's ever owned a cat will know that it would be impossible to put a turban on one (hello process Leia), neve..."
Our late cat Charlie (a Himalayan) loved being groomed - I wondered if maybe exotics had genetically mutated to expect this kind of attention. We were only reminiscing about him last night. There's an ad on TV about cat psychology and that when scared, they will hide. We just laughed. Charlie was scared of nothing or no one. If he was walking down the middle of the road and a car came along, he would just eyeball the driver - "Ahem! I'm WALKING here!" He lived long and well.
There's a brilliant TV programme here called 'Duck Quacks Don't Echo' where experts test out urban myths or various hypotheses. One of these was that if you bring a cat into a room where there's a piece of paper (A5 upwards) on the floor, the cat will sit on it. It worked every time. Has to be in the cat's own home though as there are too many things to investigate in different surroundings.
I would have loved to have tried that out. Must suggest it to the neighbours.
Lucky I rescued this from spam:I, Mikhail Fridman have selected you specifically as one of my beneficiaries for my Charitable Donation of $5 Million Dollars,
Check the link below for confirmation:
https://www.rt.com/business/343781-mi...
I await your earliest response for further directives.
Best Regards,
Mikhail Fridman.
SussexWelsh wrote: "You've been telt :-)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4izG..."
Janey’s voiceovers are priceless, and worth exploring further 😀
A plane with five passengers is about to crash. The passengers are Donald Trump, Boris Johnson, the Pope, Nicola Sturgeon and a 10-year-old schoolboy. Sturgeon: "I need one, I've got Scotland to sort out." She takes one and jumps.
The Pope: "I need one, I've got the Catholic Church to sort out." He takes one and jumps.
Donald Trump: "I need one, I'm the smartest person in the world." He takes one and jumps.
Boris Johnson looks at the schoolboy and says, "You can have the last chute. I've had my life, yours is still in front of you."
Schoolboy: "Don't worry, there are still two chutes. The smartest person in the world just took my school-bag!"
Honestly, Lez, you might have have left oor Nicola at the end rather than Bojo.
nocheese wrote: "Honestly, Lez, you might have have left oor Nicola at the end rather than Bojo."Sorry, wasn’t thinking!
"Police in Derbyshire were left in “absolute shock” after finding a “massive” karaoke party despite the coronavirus lockdown."Maybe they just got no internet?
Lonely Hearts:Gentleman with loo roll wltm Lady with hand sanitiser for some good clean fun.
Lez wrote: "Lonely Hearts:Gentleman with loo roll wltm Lady with hand sanitiser for some good clean fun."
Will she wipe left or right?
parp!"Gentleman with loo roll wltm Lady with hand sanitiser for some good clean fun"
or
'faecal fantasist wltm scrubber for good clean bent perversion'
Dr Rant posted recently about how it made his day that a medical fetish web site had donated its entire stock of disposable scrubs to the NHS.The story is here
Help! I have disappeared down the YouTube cat vid wormhole again. I might be gone some time...Cats Vs Robot Vacuum - https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IEuFUVM...
Latest Covid news from Europe: King Felipe, the Spanish monarch, has been quarantined in his private jet.Officials confirmed that the reign in Spain stays mainly in the plane.
Amazon exiles
Books mentioned in this topic
MEGALOPHILIA: MONOKUBO ARTWORKS (other topics)Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men (other topics)
Paul Hollywood's Pies and Puds (other topics)
The Plight of the Lady Gingerlily: (other topics)
The Plight of the Lady Gingerlily: (other topics)
More...
I sort of wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit hole......"
I don't think they were rabbits …..