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The complete bo**ocks, talk tripe, no music allowed thread
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Lez
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Nov 26, 2019 02:22AM
If they call male teachers 'sir', how do they address female/other genders and how can they know? Must be a complete nightmare!
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"haw, mrs wummin, c'mere!?"
....and of course the appropriate address for one of transgender,"hiy you, fanny baws, git yur erse ower here!"
Lez wrote: "If they call male teachers 'sir', how do they address female/other genders and how can they know? Must be a complete nightmare!"Usually Miss regardless of marital status (staff also use the same when speaking to each other around the kids). There a re many things they could have complete nightmares about but Miss?Mrs/Ms isn't top of the league given the rising levels of child poverty and functional illiteracy - they can tell you what a fronted adverbial is but they can't actually string words together well.
One girl last year piped up, "Da-aad ….". Oh the cruel fun we had we that gaff. I still call her daughter when I see her around. If you cover the register or a class taken by the opposite sex they often forget to adjust gender so when a boy answers "Yes, miss" I say "Thank you young lady" etc. They're rolling in the aisles I tell you, the floor is littered with asses that have been laughed off!
I'm surprised the teachers aren't identifying as gender neutral and then suing the parents for raising their sprogs as binomial oppressors then claiming 36 months sick leave and hefty cash payout for the stress upon leaving. . .
There was a piece on local news this evening about an election public questions meeting held in the constituency of Chingford and Woodford Green. The current MP is Ian Duncan Smith. In a small part of an interview with him afterwards he said pretty much the following (I may not have the exact words, but the meaning was quite clear and not open to misinterpretation):I see Labour got some people in off the street, I suppose it got them in the warm for a couple of hours, but they won’t vote, so it doesn’t matter.
As John Oliver would say, ‘let’s unpackage that statement”.
Firstly, what a Berkshire Hunt.
Secondly, the brazen, obnoxious, glaringly privileged disdainful attitude expressed in front of a camera is breath-taking. Was he too stupid to realise what he was saying, or did he just not care?
Thirdly, I’m not sure if he said ‘won’t vote’ or ‘can’t vote’, but yes, they bloody well can and let’s hope they do!
Fourthly, what a Berkshire Hunt!
This is the Tory Party now.
People of Chingford and Woodford Green, put this horrendous excuse for a human being out on the street where he belongs.
And for anyone who doesn’t know, I’m a Lib Dem supporter, not one of those ‘radical lefties’, but I can still call a turd a turd.
Or possibly he was just being derogatory about Labour's lack of support in the area as is wont amongst this free for all that passes as intelligent democracy. Equally disdainful would be someone saying Bojo is self-serving snob only interested in lining the pockets of his lazy non voting posho friends. (Possibly very true, but so is the likelihood that a political gathering on a wet Tuesday had a lot of like, well, charity shopping Corbynoiks (with dogs on strings.)):P
It's not a question of whether these people were homeless or not, it's IDS's attitude towards them, as though they were less valid as people who deserve to express an opinion on the assumption that they were homeless.
IDS? Ignorant D***head Syndrome?
Indescribably Despicable Sub-human.it (not he) is a vile, repugnant waste of skin and oxygen! i can't believe a thing like it has been voted into a position of authority! he's not the only one either!!!! can't even say he's a heartless bastid, as he clearly doesn't have one - as morrissey (before he himself transformed into a see ewe entee) once enquired of a similarly inhuman politician, "when will you die?"
Meanwhile, the tories have the gall to whinge about being represented by a block of ice because Boris didn’t fancy a climate change debate with the leaders of all the other main parties on Channel 4. Actually, a block of ice was the wrong replacement. It should have been a pink wobbly blancmange with some straw from the bottom of a hen house sprinkled on top - which would be aptly full of chicken s h i t!
I don't know any one that 'does' politics, either as a politician or pollster or door to door campaigner. It's a completely insular thing and separate from any human reality. And with the recent revelations that the Tories provide training and promotion to candidates on how to smear the opposition (i don't doubt other parties do similar) i just wonder how no-one involved, like the Mitchell and Webb's Nazis sketch, doesn't just stop and think: Hang on...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWvpv...
From today's 'Tipping Point':Q. Woodhouse is the maiden name of which Jane Austen character?
Contestant: "I'm going to go for one of the Brontë sisters. That's Charlotte, Emily and Jane. I'll try Charlotte".
I know it's P.G. but i don't know if that is for Patrica or Paula? (Maybe Philippa?):)
in relation to the abysmolic 'i love sausage rolls', on the bbc news, the great naga munchetty stated she preferred the original by joan jett and the blackheads!
This isn't really bollocks but it isn't music either.I now own a bit of a pub in Northumberland! To save it from closure, the villagers of Ridsdale have offered shares in The Gun Inn and now have permission to run it as a community pub. Shares available to anybody.
https://www.ridsdalecommunitygroup.co.uk
Make sure the bit you own is the till, Lez :)
a pub in dunlop i frequented in my youth became one of the first community owned pubs in scotland. dailyrecord.co.uk/news/local-news/vil...
ha. that triggered a memory when we played a gig there as the fearties (supporting the 'galloping gunshot boys' - an early incarnation of the trashcan sinatras). we were one man short, so i played guitar (which i damaged), and decided to do an ad-hoc version of s.walker's 'joanna', with the guys 'improvising'! good times!
Is it still on the go, tech? Perhaps it featured in ‘Deadwater Fell’? The article mentioned a Dunlop Community Hub Facebook Page, but it doesn’t seem to exist anymore, although interestingly FB does list both Dunlop Dwellers and Dwellers of Dunlop, suggesting a bit of Pythonesque rivalry.
Previously The Village Inn, but the article in the Record just refers to it as The Merito .
Random cat silliness. Oh YouTube what would we do without you to waste some time....?https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9d7inHF...
Live would be that much duller if it wasn't for folks with too much time on their hands :-D
sorry n.c., delayed reaction,yeah, 'merito' (the motto from dunlop's coat of arms) is fair thriving i hear, ain't had a chance to visit. before 'the village inn' it was 'the dunlop hotel'. there was another pub on main street, 'the auld hoose', long closed down - no surprise, never saw anyone go in or come out.
dunlop - you'll never leave!
Not sure about posting this here (or anywhere, really) but a good few years ago, daughter, her husband to be and I, saw a painting by J M W Turner: "Death on a Pale Horse". We were all convinced that it is some kind of comment on the industrial revolution, as it's clearly (to us) a trompe l'oeil picture where Death, a skeleton lying across the back of a horse, can also be seen as a steam engine. Nowhere can I find any comment on this, the painting seems to be taken as a straight reaction to Turner's father's death.I've looked at the picture on line, the best I've found is on Wikimedia Commons (it's beyond me to post a link, sorry) and it still looks the same to me. If anyone else is interested, I'd be glad of an opinion as to whether we were all deluded... :o)
I'd be happy for you to start an art thread, Isabella. Like music, art is something I love but know next to nothing about.I don't see the steam engine in Death on a Pale Horse. Turner's most famous representation of a steam locomotive, in Rain, Steam and Speed, could be seen as a celebration of technology or as a warning against it, or a bit of both.
I found an essay on Turner's representations of Death at semanticscholar.org but it's not very informative on Death on a Pale Horse.
I see a steam engine, but also a bull with a ring through its nose.
Don't know how to start a thread but if anyone else is interested, it might be good. I'm no expert either but opinion's free!I hadn't seen the bull but I can see it now - it's like lying in bed making pictures from the designs on the curtains. Apparently, it's a human characteristic to do that.
nocheese wrote: "I see a steam engine, but also a bull with a ring through its nose."So do I. I saw the bull before I saw the engine. I don't think I'd have seen the engine without being prompted.
Isabella wrote: "Don't know how to start a thread but if anyone else is interested, it might be good. I'm no expert either but opinion's free!I hadn't seen the bull but I can see it now - it's like lying in bed m..."
It’s called ‘paradelia’. People experience it to varying degrees, although whether it’s a blessing or a curse is open for debate.
Thanks, Gordon, for the article. I'd forgotten the bit about Ruskin not being able to live with the slave ship painting - it certainly emphasises that Turner didn't just paint pretty landscapes.
conversation with young man on autistic spectrum in the course of my work (brief context; 2nd time i had met him, 1st time had fixated on my (lack of) hair)'do you use an open razor?'
no, clippers
'have you ever cut yourself, is it dangerous?
no
'you could grow it if you wanted?'
yes
'have you grown it long?'
yes, briefly
'have you ever had a mullet?'
no
'what colour was your hair?'
dark brown
'what colour is it now?'
mostly grey
'were you skinny when you had more hair?'
let's say yes
'was that before you ate all the pies and drank all the vodka?'
hmmmm!
Received a rather random email. I suspect it's been sent to the wrong address rather than it being spam or phishing. They have their own website & seem a legit club. Bit of a long way for me to go tho'!"Dear Jules:
Thank you for your continued membership and support of the Antique Motoring Club of Monmouth County. Our club would not be what it is today without your support. We are humbly writing you today to ask for your continued membership into 2020 and beyond.
As a reminder, your annual membership dues increased to $30.00 beginning in 2020 and per the club bylaws, are due on or before our February club meeting. If you have already paid your 2020 dues and believe to be receiving this email in error, please do not hesitate to reach out to Treasurer Bernie Merer in person or via bernie@amcomc.org.
With the move to our new software, we are excited to announce that we can now accept your dues electronically. In order to pay online and expedite the payment of your dues, please click on the link below to be taken to our dues portal. You will not need a login to the system and your invoice is ready for payment.
If you would prefer to reconcile your dues in a non-electronic fashion, we are still accepting cash or checks at our club meetings. Please make your checks payable to AMCOMC and write your member ID, 15-007, in the memo field. Alternatively, you can mail your check directly to Treasurer Bernie Merer at 93 Cheyenne Street, Tinton Falls, NJ 07712.
Your invoice details have been included below. If you choose to mail your payment, please print this page (if possible) and include it with your payment to expedite entry.
INVOICE NUMBER: {Invoice_Number} | MEMBER ID: 15007
{Invoice_Details}
Your membership contributes directly to our club's administrative costs (including, but not limited to: insurance, office supplies like paper and ink, website and software fees, membership discount cards, etc.) and activity costs (i.e. monthly meeting refreshments, our summer picnic, and more). Our members - like YOU - are what make our club great and allow us to continue to grow.
As always, we thank you for your continued membership and we look forward to cruising with you in 2020 and for many years to come. If you are no longer interested in being a member, please don't hesitate to let us know by emailing opt_out@amcomc.org.
Cheers,
SEAN FITZGERALD | Administrative Director
Antique Motoring Club of Monmouth County
sean@amcomc.org"
Antique Motoring Club with antique style - 'if you would prefer to reconcile your dues in a non-electronic fashion'. Priceless. You should join, just remember to print the page (if possible) to expedite entry. I look forward to seeing your suitably archaic request for membership.
It's really charming, not at all American!
It's our internetly duty to sign up to AMCOMC en masse and confuse the bejaysus out of the colonists.
I suppose poor old Jules could be drummed out for non-payment, electronic or otherwise, since he presumably won't have got his email. Maybe he's puzzling over a request for membership dues of the British Butterfly Conservation Trust or some such.
nocheese wrote: "Antique Motoring Club with antique style - 'if you would prefer to reconcile your dues in a non-electronic fashion'. Priceless. You should join, just remember to print the page (if possible) to ex..."
Need to buy an antique car first! Feel free to join instead of me, nocheese. No idea how I've received this email 'cos I'm pretty sure Jules' email address will be nothing like mine.
Sera69 wrote: "It's our internetly duty to sign up to AMCOMC en masse and confuse the bejaysus out of the colonists."And a forum trip over to Monmouth County (New Jersey, apparently) to one of their events/meetings.
Had another one from them later on yesterday:-"Hi Jules!
This is a friendly reminder that our next club meeting will be held at our normal location (The Woman's Club of Little Silver at 111 Church Street) on
Wednesday, February 19, 2020 at 7:30pm.
As a reminder, this month is pizza night to kick off the season. We hope that you can make it!
The AMCOMC Executive Board"
Yay, pizza! Yum. Better get those flights booked for us all.
From News Thump:-Nation collectively shrugs its shoulders as Piers Morgan finally comes out as a twat
In the wake of this morning’s admission by TV presenter, Philip Schofield, that he’s gay, fellow ITV media personality, Piers Morgan, has surprised no-one by announcing on air that he’s been an ‘insufferable twat’ for as long as he can remember.
A clearly emotional Morgan told co-presenter, Suzanna Reid, “I’ve kept it hidden for years – I think – that I’m an insufferable twat. I’ve fooled my wife, my friends, and the viewing public that I’m this cheery, happy-go-lucky fellow that everyone would like to share a pint with down the pub.
“I’ve been living a lie, and although I’ve been brilliant at hiding my true self I now feel the time is right to unburden myself publically.
“I realise this will come as a real shock to my friends, family and the public at large who have held me in such high esteem and fond regard down the years, but I just feel that the time is right to take this next step and finally stop trying to be so likeable.
“I just hope people will understand I was just born this way, and won’t start piling into my missus and the kids on Twitter.
“I’m sure there’ll be a few cruel jokes circulating, and I bet Gary Lineker and Greta Thunberg are laughing their socks off.”
Reid seemed somewhat taken aback by Morgan’s revelation, saying, “I wouldn’t worry too much, Piers. You’re only confirming what everybody has known for years.
“Perhaps you should come out as a delusional arsehole while you’re about it?”
I'm not a fan of TripAdvisor at all, but there are some amusing reviews here..."Ilkeston NatWest hole in wall rises up TripAdvisor rankings" - https://www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Attract...
If you like that one Helen you'll get plenty of amusement at the Shit Brick Fences of Melbourne Facebook page. While the pictures are often funny in themselves, it's the comments that take the cake.https://www.facebook.com/shitbrickfen...
and the bloke who runs it is also a very talented writer (reminds me a bit of Ry Cooder) and sometimes, if you're lucky, he adds a chapter of his ongoing story.
Thanks Val. Lots of strange sites on the internet dedicated to a particular weird topic.Eg: There is a subreddit, "r/scarytoilets" for pictures of "Toilets With Threatening Auras" (but they request no actual "poop", phew). I like this one titled "Potential Threat":-
https://www.reddit.com/r/scarytoilets
These reviews, posted by zoos of their animals, are quite amusing in places:https://www.iflscience.com/plants-and...
Helen The Melon wrote: "There is a subreddit, "r/scarytoilets" for pictures of "Toilets With Threatening Auras" (but they reque..."I sort of wish I hadn't gone down that rabbit hole......
SussexWelsh wrote: "These reviews, posted by zoos of their animals, are quite amusing in places:https://www.iflscience.com/plants-and......"
Some great posts there. I particularly liked the vulture!
Val wrote: "SussexWelsh wrote: "These reviews, posted by zoos of their animals, are quite amusing in places:Some great posts there. I particularly liked the vulture!"
Me too :-)
Amazon exiles
Books mentioned in this topic
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Paul Hollywood's Pies and Puds (other topics)
The Plight of the Lady Gingerlily: (other topics)
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