Amazon exiles discussion
Trackless wastes
>
The complete bo**ocks, talk tripe, no music allowed thread
Sorry, I'm still thinking about cucumbers, you know, for health reasons and all...
Grizzlygrump wrote: "Headline from our local publication:'New phone app helps rescuers to reach cow stranded in Nene'
Good job the cow had her phone with her or it could have ended badly."
! ;o>
The Evil Queen of Mischief wrote: "Sorry, I'm still thinking about cucumbers, you know, for health reasons and all..."! ! ! ;o>
Although, Grizzly's cow phone joke was really funny!
I think Her Mischievous Majesty must be reliving her salad days :)
nah, she's just thinking of **censored** it right up **censored**, because it's just like a **censored**, **censored**! no?
NO! ... quickly moooooooooooving along ...;o>
Our local pub has a rather direct approach to recruitment:
Wanted - Real Chef
No microwave technicians, wafflers, posers.
Just a real chef!
Wanted - Real Chef
No microwave technicians, wafflers, posers.
Just a real chef!
Restaurant diner accidentally served up £4,500 bottle of Wine ... ! ;oO
http://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/uknews/...
And was expected to leave a 10% tip?
On Look North the final 'feelgood' human interest story concerned the installation of giant inflatable microbes and bacteria hanging inside the Ferens Art Gallery in Hull. The last words out of the presenter's mouth stated the intention of the piece was to make us and children in particular more familiar with "micro-orgasms". The weather came immediately after that …….
Thank the Heavens for the Weather Forecast! ;oO... and let's hope the Kids weren't paying any attention! ;o>
suzysunshine7 wrote: "Thank the Heavens for the Weather Forecast! ;oO... and let's hope the Kids weren't paying any attention! ;o>"
Too busy rubbin' one out...….
Yeah, those Hopscotch Chalk markings take some shifting ;o>... (*WHEW!!!*) ... !
"micro-orgasms"mrs brass says that's your area of expertise! parp!boom!
Tech XXIII wrote: ""micro-orgasms"mrs brass says that's your area of expertise! parp!boom!"
While Mrs Tech sighs wistfully imagining even experiencing one of those!
A micro-orgasm? - or a parp!boom! ;oOI'm pretty sure there is no woman who has ever wanted either of those! ;o>
Mrs Grizzly goes parp!boom! when exposed to a naked flame.
Stop feeding her Baked Beans! ;oO... and stop following her around with that Gas Lighter!!! ;oO
Tourist duped into booking roadside Shipping Container on Airbnb ...
... http://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/uknews/...
I don't like the cost but, apart from that, I've spent the night in worst places ;o>
Grizzlygrump wrote: "Mrs Grizzly goes parp!boom! when exposed to a naked flame."An old one (flame, not Mrs G!)?
Brass Neck wrote: "Grizzlygrump wrote: "Mrs Grizzly goes parp!boom! when exposed to a naked flame."
An old one (flame, not Mrs G!)?"
No comment :)
An old one (flame, not Mrs G!)?"
No comment :)
In the post today;
A leaflet from UKIP - 17.4 million of you voted to leave the EU
A leaflet from the Brexit Party - 17.4 m voted to leave the EU
A leaflet from the English Democrats (who?) - 15,188,406 voted to leave the EU
Finally, a leaflet from the Green Party boasting how they beat the Lib Dems.
Is there some election going on?
A leaflet from UKIP - 17.4 million of you voted to leave the EU
A leaflet from the Brexit Party - 17.4 m voted to leave the EU
A leaflet from the English Democrats (who?) - 15,188,406 voted to leave the EU
Finally, a leaflet from the Green Party boasting how they beat the Lib Dems.
Is there some election going on?
Part of a Forest somewhere in the World died for all that crap mail ;o<
I'll put it in the recycling
Grizzlygrump wrote: "I'll put it in the recycling"Too shiny to wipe with?
Wouldn't want to risk a paper cut!
yer bum might catch something off them, but then they aw talk oot thur erses, so...........
If paper's so good at cutting, why don't they make knives out of it?
Mother leaves her family baffled by swapping the Tea and Coffee pot labels after filling them with the wrong contents ...
http://www.msn.com/en-gb/foodanddrink...
Where's the sugar?
In the bread bin or the biscuit tin? :)
In the bread bin or the biscuit tin? :)
Loose? - Just poured onto the shelf?
I think it might possibly be another case of 'Mum Logic' that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever to anyone else - but it's her House, her Kitchen, and her Tea and her Coffee ... so there! ;o>
I have four small caddies which I have labelled T (tea, right?), GT (green tea), EG (Earl Grey) and LT (lemon tea) but my offspring will only drink Bushell's so I've had to institute a fifth one - TT - their tea.
I'm the only one who drinks Coffee inside the House ... M&D will only ever drink Coffee when they are out and about for some reason known only to them (Mum AND Dad Logic!) ... and I keep my sealed Ground Coffee in the Cupboard or in the Fridge once it is opened.M&D drink Tea all day long at Home and pretty much any main brand of Tea will do so long as the price is right whereas I only ever drink a full-bodied 'fresh' tasting Kenyan Tea ... so I keep my Teabags separate to theirs - in the matching ceramic Pot marked Coffee ;o>
Val wrote: "I have four small caddies which I have labelled T (tea, right?), GT (green tea), EG (Earl Grey) and LT (lemon tea) but my offspring will only drink Bushell's so I've had to institute a fifth one - ..."I know you haven't seen Series 5 yet, Val, but 'four caddies' will resonate with LoD fans!
nocheese wrote: "I know you haven't seen Series 5 yet, Val, but 'four caddies' will resonate with LoD fans! ."It starts here on June 21!!! Hooray!!! I shall be out that night at the second part of "Harry Potter and the Cursed Child" so will record it - I usually record a whole series before watching it anyway. I'm guessing "four caddies" is not a golf reference? Wasn't Dot "The Caddy"? So perhaps there was more than one??????
That’s for me to know and you to find out 😉
nocheese wrote: "I know you haven't seen Series 5 yet, Val, but 'four caddies' will resonate with LoD fans!."I haven't seen series 1 yet. Is it about golf? That would be more interesting than yet another murrrderr show.
Yes, yes we know Gordon. Since you haven’t seen it, maybe you should start at series 1? Some of it is about golf as it happens.
Anyone else had one of these turn up in their Junk Mail?!! ;o> ...Attention,
I am Christopher A. Wray The current FBI Director After proper investigations we discovered that your impending payment that have been withheld by imposters claiming to be Mr. Goodwin Emefiele (Governor of the Central bank of Nigeria) Mr. Sanusi Lamido, Mr. Frank Nweke, None existing officials of UBA bank Benin and Nigeria, UK winning Lottery Banki Moon of United Nation, Coca-Cola winning lottery Donation Grant and among a list of others is now under our custody with the help of the Cyber Crimes Commission (CCC) and the Local Police Force.
Investigations revealed that you have spent a lot on your personal earned money just to conclude the successful transfer of your funds to your nominated bank account by obtaining transfer documents as requested by the impostors costing you a lot of money but all to no avail The FBI had to send some financial crime investigators from our head office in NEW YORK Field to Africa and Asia in other to carry out proper investigation
The FBI has giving authority to the International Monetary Funds (IMF) to assist the Federal Ministry -of Finance and all the organization involved such as the Central Bank, UBA Bank and Legit lottery organizations to immediately commence with the compensation of all the beneficairies awaiting the successful transfer of their funds With the help of some of the best Internet investigators attached to the FBI we traced your informnation from the Internet as one of the beneficairies awaiting the successful transfer of funds to your nominated account.
I am pleased to inform you that a meeting was held as regards the best way to carry out with the compensation exercise for transparency and most especially to avoid re occurrence of the delay in transferring your funds and the high cost of procurring transfer documents and came to a final conclusion as all head of organizations involved was duly represented.
It was approved to issue you a valid international ATM card cash-able at any ATM machine designation in the world. The ATM account has already being credited with four million eight hundred thousand United States dollars. ($4.8,000,000.00USD) with a daily Limit of withdrawal of Ten thousand United States Dollars. ($10,000.00) The ATM card has already being packaged and approved to be delivered to your door step via express courier delivery service.
Contact Mr George Venizelos {Our FBI ATM Rep.} at the ATM PAYMENT CENTER and reconfirm your delivery information as stated below and your security code with five digit (15011) number has to be submitted alongside with your delivery information for security reasons
DELIVERY INFORMATION BELOW,,,,,
FULL NAME:
AGE:
DELIVERY ADDRESS:
CELL PHONE NUMBER:
CURRENT OCCUPATION:
SCAN COPY OF YOUR PASSPORT:
CONTACT INFORMATION:
NAME: Mr George Venizelos https://archives.fbi.gov/archives/new...
EMAIL: edir.georgevi@gmail.com
Phone : +1 917 933 1455
FBI CODE (15011)
HAVE IT IN MIND THAT THE DELIVERY FEE OF YOUR PACKAGE DELIVERY TO YOUR DESTINATION HAVE BEEN SETTLED BETWEEN US AND THE COURIER COMPANY IN CHARGE OF YOUR ATM CARD DELIVERY SO YOU ARE MANDATED TO PAY FOR THE SECURITY KEPING FEE ONLY FOR YOUR ATM CARD TO BE DELIVERED TO YOU.
A RELIABLE AND A TRUSTED COURIER COMPANY HAS BEEN CONTACTED TO DELIVER YOUR PACKAGE TO YOUR DESTINATION AS SOON AS YOU CONTACT MR GEORGE VENIZELOS HE WILL UPDATE YOU WITH THE COURIER COMPANY EMAIL CONTACT ADDRESS IN OTHER TO AVOID ANY UNDUE DELAY OF YOUR ATM CARD.
We also advise that you stop further communicatoins with those impostors and forward any correspondence / proposal you receive from them to Mr George Venizelos in other for the FBI to bring justice to does still at large.
REGARDS, Christopher A. Wray
INCUMBENT FBI DIRECTOR
How kind of him to sort out these scoundrel imposters for you.😆
The Secretary responsible for typing up all of his correspondence must be an imposter too!!! ;o>
I haven't got a passport - will a copy of my driving licence do instead? :)
I haven't got a Passport or a Driving Licence so yours could be very handy ;o>
Will they accept my bus pass?
Amazon exiles
Books mentioned in this topic
MEGALOPHILIA: MONOKUBO ARTWORKS (other topics)Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men (other topics)
Paul Hollywood's Pies and Puds (other topics)
The Plight of the Lady Gingerlily: (other topics)
The Plight of the Lady Gingerlily: (other topics)
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'New phone app helps rescuers to reach cow stranded in Nene'
Good job the cow had her phone with her or it could have ended badly.