Amazon exiles discussion
Trackless wastes
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The complete bo**ocks, talk tripe, no music allowed thread
suzysunshine7 wrote: "Sent by Email from Superdrug - the latest Cosmetic Fashion trend ...http://m.email.superdrug.com/nl/jsp/m...
Or is it?!! ;o> ...
https://www..."
I can see some of those catching on.
Val wrote: "First online April Fool's joke I've encountered so far:Silence of the Cans
With noise restrictions becoming an increasing problem for inner-city venues, Victoria Bitter is pleased to introduce t..."
Why did ‘Rope Technician’ make me splurt my coffee? 😀
From the Edinburgh Fringe site:Fringe to launch new dogs' section of the programme
01 April 2019
Due to popular demand and following intense consultation with members of the pet-owning cultural community, the Edinburgh Festival Fringe Society is pleased to announce a new section for the 2019 Fringe Programme – dog shows.
The new category will showcase dog-centric performances across all genres, from theatre and comedy through to live music and dance. Not only will the shows be about dogs – they will also be performed by dogs, to largely canine audiences (owners are welcome too).
The Society has been increasingly aware of mounting interest in the programme from arts-loving pets, and have responded by making sure the new section is as comprehensive as possible – ensuring it’s printed in black and white to better suit dogs’ vision, and liaising with Fringe venues to install dog flaps and water bowls.
‘We are passionate about making sure the Fringe is available to all who want to attend,’ said the Society’s Chief Executive Shona McCarthy.
‘We’ve put a lot of thought and care into how this new programme category will be implemented, and we think the results will set a lot of tails wagging.’
As well as a whole new programme category, other developments include: workshops and talent labs for performers, hosted as part of our Fringe Pawticipants’ strand in the Fringe Central Events Programme; the option to subscribe to daily and weekly email pupdates: and an exclusive Boxer Office with a range of ticket options from free to ‘Shar-Pei what you want'.
Confirmed shows for 2019 in the Fringe Beagletent
50 Shades of Greyhound
Abracalabrador
Waiting for Dogot
Aisling Beagle
Miles Pupp
Much Adog About Nothing
Pugsy Malone
Shih Tzu Perkins
Spaniel Kitson
Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woof
Early feedback from performers has been robust. ‘For years we’ve been overlooked in favour of more traditional human performers,’ said Jack Russell Howard, canine comedian and spokesdog for the organisation Better Arts Representation for K-9s (BARK). ‘And don’t get me started on the programme’s traditional categories.
‘I’m happy that the Fringe is finally throwing us a bone,’ he added. ‘It feels like we’re achieving some overdue sense of recognition, of validation for all our hard work – now, when someone asks, “Who’s a good boy then?”, I can simply refer them to my star rating.’
Fans of the initiative are encouraged to contribute to the newest tier of our supporters’ scheme by becoming a Furry Friend of the Fringe.
Love it when folk put a bit of thought into their April Fool presentations!
From a story in the Guardian today about India shooting down a low-orbit satellite in a missile test...“What we are tracking right now, objects big enough to track – we’re talking about 10 centimetres (six inches) or bigger – about 60 pieces have been tracked.”
Ten centimetres = six inches? Journalists just love to parade their innumeracy, don't they? I'm not sure why they felt the need to translate it into inches anyway, but if they're going to do it they could at least do it correctly.
They do it for old codgers like me who were hard-wired to think in yards, feet and inches. I wouldn’t have noticed it was wrong; I mean, I can do the sums, it’s just that I can picture six inches, but not ten centimetres.
"I can picture six inches, but not ten centimetres" - one's barely adequate, t'other's a major disappointment?
nocheese wrote: "...I can picture six inches, ..."The fact that a six-inch ruler is 15 centimetres long used to be a ready reminder, in the days when people used rulers to underline things when they wrote on paper.
i still measure in microfurlongs and nanocubits!
Double decker buses and Wales is where it's at
that's right, and i pay for the information with goats and bags of salt!
I can easily do smaller measurements - 1ft = 30cm but, sad creature that I am, I regularly use Zoopla for local house sales and check the room sizes. A lot are now in metric only and I just can’t visualise 2.86 by 3.49. Also, all DIY stuff is in millimetres, so you have to remember to move the decimal point.Pounds and kilos are even worse as there’s no easy formula.
Pounds to kilograms is fairly easy: 1 kg = 2.2 lb. That's assuming we're talking avoidupois pounds rather than troy pounds, so this doesn't apply to precious metals (1 kg = 2.7 lb).It's a bit harder the other way (1 lb = 0.45 kg), but for buying stuff you can work on a rough 1 kg ≈ 2 lb equivalence. It's only for following recipes that you need to be more precise, and then you would use scales.
.
And things being the size of Belgium was a thing
TwoddleBungler wrote: "."
Is that the Peel Stage line up at Glastonbury? I'm sure i have a couple Exposure May Cause Sterility albums :)
i know i have the industrial classic, "skinny jobby syndrome" by rectal shrinkage!
Extreme Nasal Hair sounds like one of those competitions like the beard and moustaceh thing.
"How does one clump urine?"sponge!
that'll do it! it's good tae clump yer pish!
There's some very funny folk indeed living up in Scotland! ;o>
pray thet ye nehvur bump intae ony o' thum!they're a frightful bunch!
... and they still haven't discovered Flush Toilets yet! ;oO
WoW?!! ... I'd like to imagine that all of the Police Cars in Scotland already sound just like that, Val! ;o> ... ;o> ... ;o>
suzysunshine7 wrote: "WoW?!! ... I'd like to imagine that all of the Police Cars in Scotland already sound just like that, Val! ;o> ... ;o> ... ;o>"That would calm people down immediately! ;-)
I remember being in Chester once and their fire engines have the wartime siren noise. Scared the wits out of me and I hid in a doorway, much to J.’s surprise.
Val wrote: "A belated April Fool's:
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=308..."
That's all well and good at walking pace, but can he keep up in a high speed chase?
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=308..."
That's all well and good at walking pace, but can he keep up in a high speed chase?
You could always strap him to a Roof Rack? ... Hee, Hee, Hee!!! ;o>
Grizzlygrump wrote: "Val wrote: ",,,That's all well and good at walking pace, but can he keep up in a high speed chase?"
Here's your solution!
https://youtu.be/cnVjkE87FDY
The flames are a rather nice added extra - but you might need a Fire Engine to follow on behind and what kind of a Siren will they be wanting for themselves? ;o>
Made me giggle amidst the doom and gloom of Breakshit;https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/...
Particularly liked the depiction of Mark Francois, a man and an MP with all the savvy and charm of a starving pitbull. If you haven't seen this epic bit of confrontational handbaggery it's worth a watch;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfFrW...
Well, you lost me at the mere mention of Brexit, Mr B ... but immediately got me back again, eagerly reading, and laughing my Head off from the very second that I saw two words ... Mark Steel ;o>
William Woodard Self - the epitome of sneering smugness. Don't much like the other bloke either.
TwoddleBungler wrote: "William Woodard Self - the epitome of sneering smugness. Don't much like the other bloke either.
"
Yeah but that Diane Abbott eh?
Probably should be in politics and certainly no laughing matter but here's more Breakshit (I feel like the guy in the middle in front of the Speaker in the Commons chamber photo);https://www.theguardian.com/politics/...
Today’s ‘Tipping Point’:Q. Rachel Weisz married which James Bond star in 2011?
A. Piers Morgan
Talking of little bollocks. Sex pest and self styled messiah assange has finally left his broom cupboard.
To possibly face 5 years in prison, after imprisoning himself for 7. ROFLMAO...
Seriously though, what an orrible little man, who's made a misery of everyones lives in the ecudorian embassy.
Lez wrote: "Today’s ‘Tipping Point’:Q. Rachel Weisz married which James Bond star in 2011?
A. Piers Morgan"
:)
... ;o> x ! HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE ! x ;o> ... 
Happy Easter Suzy! And everyone else :)
And a glorious Spring-time to you as well, Gingerlily ... x x x ;o>
Ahhh bless 'em! ... our first family Dog was a very street-wise little hairy woofer who always used to use Pedestrian Crossings to get across any Main Roads ;o>
Amazon exiles
Books mentioned in this topic
MEGALOPHILIA: MONOKUBO ARTWORKS (other topics)Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men (other topics)
Paul Hollywood's Pies and Puds (other topics)
The Plight of the Lady Gingerlily: (other topics)
The Plight of the Lady Gingerlily: (other topics)
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Or is it?!! ;o> ...
https://www.superdrug.com/healthandbe...