Amazon exiles discussion
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The complete bo**ocks, talk tripe, no music allowed thread
message 1701:
by
Gordon
(new)
Dec 26, 2018 01:52PM
I did live above a restaurant kitchen. Only saw one mouse (which starved to death while I was away at a conference: I must have blocked its way back to the kitchen) but an awful, awful lot of cockroaches.
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If I’d ever wanted to go to university, the idea of sharing living quarters would have put me off forever. Though both my niece and nephew met their spouses in houseshares.
I went to live with my Grandad in Edinburgh in 1971. He always had a Saturday night fry-up with three of my uncles calling round. I was horrified to see the frying pan come down from the top (exterior) of the cupboard, where it had been gathering dust since the previous Saturday, and all the various sausages, eggs, black pudding were set swimming in this sea of lard. I usually found an excuse to be out every Saturday night.When I went down to Leeds for my librarianship diploma, I was assigned digs by the Poly and found myself sharing a room with a 17 year old, straight from school. Her idea of being a student did not align with living with a strict Irish family, 2 kids who were always practising their Irish dancing, a curfew, etc. so she only lasted about a week. My next roommate was far more exotic - Portuguese, a resident of Morocco and a student at Toulouse University. We got on immediately. When our landlady's ill health required us to move out, we found the best-ever flat in Karnac Rd (Hi Derek and Su!) and continued our amicable arrangement. 46 years later we are still in touch even though we've never met up since - she's in Colorado and I'm here in Melbourne. She introduced me to cous-cous, Je Reviens perfume and loads of gorgeous exchange students from Germany, Turkey and Tunisia.
TwoddleBungler wrote: "As a student I made a stew. I would buy vegetables and meat and boil up the stew each time before throwing the new stuff in. My assumption was that each boiling would sterilise the stew. This actua..."My dad-in-law worked on the same principle for his soup, just adding leftover veg daily. It was yummy but we didn’t dare chance it after the third day.
When they were rehoused and we cleared out the kitchen we found 17 Thermos flasks at the back of the cupboards. One of them worked.
Lez wrote: "When they were rehoused and we cleared out the kitchen we found 17 Thermos flasks at the back of the cupboards. One of them worked...."Not full of soup I hope?
Val wrote: "Lez wrote: "When they were rehoused and we cleared out the kitchen we found 17 Thermos flasks at the back of the cupboards. One of them worked...."Not full of soup I hope?"
That was my first thought!
His morning routine was to take the dog out, come back and fill a large (working) flask with builders’ tea, roll a few cigs and settle down to watch ‘This Morning’. The suppurating soup would come into play for lunch.
Gingerlily - The fairy at the bottom of the Christmas tree wrote: "Souppurating?"🤓😃
"... a large (working) flask with builders’ tea..."We call it "Чифи́р" or "Chifir", very popular in Soviet prison camps.
'0)
Love it myself.
Anyone tried welders tea? Prepare as regular builders one, in the end just stir with welding rod...And hardcore fans get it boiled using gas torch.
Pranksters remove giant Santa hat from Angel of the North ...http://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/uknews/...
;o>
Next year they'll have to give him a bulging sac?
Heard in Glasgow City Centre yesterday afternooon:Woman (laden with carrier bags, shouting):
"C'maon, erra taxi wi' it's light oan!"
Man (on other side of busy road):
"Staun in front o' it. Hurry up!"
To everyone, Happy New 2019, nice clean as possible Brexit and no border with Ireland (gotsta get to Enniskillen, Asda, lovely lough Erne) !edit: btw on my profile pic my dog (2o11-2016) enjoying view over lough Erne from Magho cliffs. wonderful place.
And a very healthy and a Happy New Year to you too ... x x x
"nice clean as possible Brexit and no border with Ireland" - you do realise those are diametrically opposite outcomes and the whole cause of the current shambles?
What a beautiful dog PS! And in a beautiful part of the world. Hope your 2019 is happy, healthy and rich in new experiences.
Thanks Suzy, Val!I know I am a dreamer, Brass...
edit: this is "bollocks" thread in the end.
80)
Oh Melbourne, you were doing so well...So how did you manage to get it all wrong on Friday??
http://www.bom.gov.au/vic/forecasts/m...
Post Soviet wrote: "Thanks Suzy, Val!I know I am a dreamer, Brass...
edit: this is "bollocks" thread in the end.
80)"
YAYYY!!! - a fellow dreamer ;o>
Val wrote: "Oh Melbourne, you were doing so well...So how did you manage to get it all wrong on Friday??
http://www.bom.gov.au/vic/forecasts/m..."
42?!! ... OMG!!! ;oO
Overheard in the park this morning:Woman to small dog:
"I'm gonna keep you on the lead for now. Because I don't trust ye.
Well, it's not that I don't trust ye, it's just...."
Unfortunately the distance between grew and I didn't catch the reason. I just hope the doggie heard it and it made him feel better about the whole being on the lead thing.
Awww, I have conversations like that all the time with my two ;o>The Neighbours must often overhear and think that I am crackers!
I still talk to my dog and she died over a year ago.Hang on a moment, the men in the white coats are heading this way - I'll just slip out the back.
Awww ... I still talk to my beloved Bethany - she's been gone almost 12 years now and yet it still almost feels like it was only yesterday ... x x x
I find it difficult to believe that any pet owner does not engage in conversation with their animals no matter how one sided it may be and no matter what so called experts say they do seem to respond and understand in their way. Indeed I would go so far as to there can be some kind of telepathy, our previous dog always seem to know the moment I would think about taking her out for a walk and become very animated, pacing around, tail wagging and expectant woofing etc. The world would be a sadder place without our animal companions who bring us so much joy and love that is unconditional and complete.
Our Mitz initiates conversations all of her own as well ... if M&D go out without her and Tia they don't half get such a mouthful off her when they get back - LOL!!! ;o>
I'm not keen when I hear my wife baby talking to our 3 cats in a high register voice, they CANNOT understand but half the time I think she's talking to me from a distant room (which she does often enough despite the ineffectuality of such an approach). The cats don't respond/answer; they just read body language to see if you're going to open the door or feed them.I, on the other hand, will try to answer the two vocal cats in kind and that does usually lead to an extended conversation despite my having no idea what I'm miaowing back. The cuddliest cat can't manage more than the occasional little trill or squeak - she can't even hiss and never calls out if mini fights break out. They do understand when I do mouth clicks out of the back door and come racing down the garden as that means grub.
I've never felt the need to talk to an ex-cat; WIGIG as Tesco might say. Last cat pegged out on Boxing Day 2016 of all days; I was searching cat rescues the next day and got a pair of sibling kittens a few weeks later.
Of course we all talk to our pets, I wasn't suggesting otherwise; I just loved the way she said she didn't trust him, then felt bad about it and tried to come up with another reason for not letting him off. (Clearly, she didn't trust him).
nc, I think it’s time for a collection of your ‘overheard in the park’ conversations 😀
nocheese wrote: "Of course we all talk to our pets, I wasn't suggesting otherwise; I just loved the way she said she didn't trust him, then felt bad about it and tried to come up with another reason for not letting..."Your lovely Post, nocheese, sums up to me as to how daft we can get with our furry loved ones. We often don't just correct them, or simply tell them off - we begin to feel bad about it and then start giving them lengthy backing-down explanations which are of no interest to them whatsoever ... unless, of course, we end up in talking our own selves into changing our Minds and making a previous "NO!" into a possible "Maybe?" with the potential to become a "Yes" ... ! ;o>
Brass Neck wrote: "... I've never felt the need to talk to an ex-cat; WIGIG as Tesco might say. Last cat pegged out on Boxing Day 2016 of all days; I was searching cat rescues the next day and got a pair of sibling kittens a few weeks later ..."I don't hold any kind of Pet Seances ;o> ... I just sometimes sit in the Garden and find myself remembering and I tell Beth and Cindy how much I miss them and how much I still love them and always will, that's all ;o>
We have equally shared all of our family Pets - but Bethany was always very much my own little Bear Cub of a Dog - and I gave her the name that I would have given to my Daughter if I had ever been blessed with one ;o>
Lez wrote: "nc, I think it’s time for a collection of your ‘overheard in the park’ conversations 😀":-D
Pet cunning is something the experts don't seem to get... our last cat damaged his front paw quite badly and had to have treatment at the vet's for it. While he was limping about with a dressing on, we would open the door so he needn't use the cat flap. Once the damage healed and the dressing came off, we left him to it. We could see him walking round, indoors and out, with no trouble but as soon as he spotted us watching, up would go the paw and he'd revert to the awkward limp in the hope we would open the door for him. :o)
Mitz hurt her Leg a few years ago - a Sprained Joint according to the Vet. It soon healed but still, every now and then she puts on a Limp and we naturally all make a big fuss of her. The thing is though that she tends to forget just which Leg it is and so the Limp often changes from one Front Leg to the other over the space of a day - and the Limp gets forgotten altogether if you just stand in another Room and call out "BISCUIT TIME!"
;o> ... ;o> ... ;o>
“He was literally moving across the grass at full speed with the frogs hanging on,”That was full speed? Any slower and he would have been going backwards!
suzysunshine7 wrote: "Your lovely Post, nocheese, sums up to me as to how daft we can get with our furry loved ones. We often don't just correct them, or simply tell them off - we begin to feel bad about it and then start giving them lengthy backing-down explanations which are of no interest to them whatsoever ... unless, of course, we end up in talking our own selves into changing our Minds and making a previous "NO!" into a possible "Maybe?" with the potential to become a "Yes" ... ! ;o>..."Reasoning with your dog:
“you better build me a park if mine is closed you dumb Bish”
https://www.facebook.com/waltergeoffr...
O.M.G.!!! ... that is SO like the conversations that I have with Mitz?!! ;o>I've just explained to her that I am actually allowed to go next-door by myself to wish the Neighbours a Happy New Year without seeking her personal permission first - and that I don't appreciate being told off by her when I come back! ... as she walked all the way behind me giving me such a mouthful from the Front Door through to the Kitchen when I got back and I had literally only bobbed out for just 10 minutes! - LOL!!! ;o>
Val: (though you might know this already!)Little Book of Australian Etiquette
1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview...
2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them.
3. It's tacky to take an Esky to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to take your ute and trailer to the funeral.
Eating Out:
1. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to bruise the wine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.
Entertaining at Home:
1. A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist..
2. Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners.
Personal Hygiene:
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private, using one's OWN ute keys.
2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.
3. Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.
4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, it alters the taste of finger foods and if you are a woman it can draw attention away from your jewellery.
Theatre/Cinema Etiquette:
1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie ends.
2. Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.
Weddings:
1. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A tracksuit with a cummerbund and a clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.
3. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for the occasion.
Driving Etiquette:
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if your gun's loaded and the roo's in your rifle sight.
2. When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest roo bar doesn't always have the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it's impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.
I haven't seen that one Lez! It does contain many relevant pieces of advice.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=INsMn...
You'd never guess that Strop (John Cornell) was a very shrewd (and wealthy) business man.
Amazon exiles
Books mentioned in this topic
MEGALOPHILIA: MONOKUBO ARTWORKS (other topics)Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men (other topics)
Paul Hollywood's Pies and Puds (other topics)
The Plight of the Lady Gingerlily: (other topics)
The Plight of the Lady Gingerlily: (other topics)
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