Amazon exiles discussion
Trackless wastes
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The complete bo**ocks, talk tripe, no music allowed thread
Lez wrote: "Tee hee, you know what I’m going to say don’t you?"You're going to say ... Oooh, yes please! ... I'd like a double helping of Minted BrusselS Sprouts Ice Cream, battered and deep fried, with a generous drizzle of Parsnip Syrup ... ;o> ... ;o> ... ;o>
I think the guard on this train must be going on holiday tomorrow. He seems demob-happy. He keeps singing Christians carols to announce the next station (ding-dong merrily on high, Ruabon's your next station). Can't wait to hear what he comes up with for Gobowen.
Gordon wrote: "Now he's dreaming of a Chirk Christmas."Awww, I love it when someone makes a cheery effort to be more creative ;o>
I really liked this on a Virgin train some time ago:“Hello, my name is Bob and I am your train manager today. I have an announcement from the buffet. Today’s chef’s special is...................
a cheeseburger. A cheeseburger. Please make your way to the buffet now to avoid disappointment”
Ahhh, but it's THE way that Chef strips the Plastic wrapper off the Processed Cheese Slice and slaps it down on top of the Microwaved Burger that has built up his reputation over the years until it has gained him a Michelin Star, Gingerlily ... and for only just £5 more you can even get a stale Bread Bun to wrap around your Cheeseburger as well! ;o>
Gingerlily - The fairy at the bottom of the Christmas tree wrote: "This video has a scots warning!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1msu8..."
I was looking for this one to post especially for you, Lez :)
YAYYY!!! - the new Christmas Number One!!! ;o> ...
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainm...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iEB8...
Yeah, I know that this Thread states 'no music allowed' but this is also a rather joyful bit of complete bo**ocks to see out 2018 and so I think it belongs on here ;o>
I hope it helps to raise lots of money for the Trussell Trust ;o>When I was a child we never had much but we got by and we were happy enough in ourselves - and at School the focus was always on the terrible plight of starving African children instead.
And I never thought that I would ever get to see so many Foodbanks set up now and all desperately trying to meet the increasing urgent need of so many struggling folk in the UK in this day and age?
We have clearly come so far in Medical Research, Industry and Technology in such a very short space of time ... and yet we seem to have stepped right back into the Dark Ages here when it comes to young children in our own Country not knowing for sure where from (or even when) their next Meal will be coming, if at all?! ;oO
If you lean out the window and listen very carefully you can hear a faint wooshing sound Suzy. You may wonder where this noise is coming from but don't be alarmed it is only the sound of the rich and privileged pulling up their respective ladders!
Here’s the lovely you-know-who with his thoughts on Christmas:https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qHO_9Tm...
You're a good few weeks late, Serial. Didn't your grandma teach you anything?Mine neither. I'm still trying to work out what bread sauce actually is.
Gordon wrote: "You're a good few weeks late, Serial. Didn't your grandma teach you anything?Mine neither. I'm still trying to work out what bread sauce actually us."
Its runny stuffing. I think....
The first year I had Christmas dinner with my in-laws, the sprouts etc. had already been on the go since dawn when I got there. The following Easter I offered to cook Sunday dinner for them and took my pressure cooker. Dad-in-law was in a terrible state when I hadn’t put any veg on and there was only half an hour before the meat was ready. I’ve never forgotten his astonishment when I served up perfectly cooked and very tasty veg in 15 minutes. He bought a pressure cooker the following week but ma-in-law was terrified of it and wouldn’t go near the kitchen when dad was using it.
Gordon wrote: "My mum is the only person I know who still uses a pressure cooker. Do you still have yours, Lez?"I’ve actually got 3! My own, bought in 1969, my mum’s and the aforementioned in-laws’. I don’t use one now I’m on my own but used to do things like lambs’ hearts, gammon joints, steamed puds, etc. My sister still uses hers for stews, scouse etc when there are a few of us there. My nephew’s got one of them thar new-fangled electric ones.
My Mum has two and still uses them as Pans occasionally but rarely ever with their Pressure Lids on them anymore - as she finds them to be rather too heavy to lift these days.
Pranksters dress Angel of the North in Santa hat - Group of 10 successfully scale 20-metre-high sculpture on their seventh attempt at the stunt ...
https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2...
Apparently they have tried this before and the Hat was too small!I think it looks fabulous - and it really does suit it too ;o>
My sprouts were done in 5 minutes in the microwave, then put into the oven with butter, flaked almonds and crispy bacon to stay warm for a few minutes. Mind you, I'm probably the only one of the 8 of us who loves sprouts.I've never owned a pressure cooker. My Mum had one in the 60s and probably put the fear of God in me when it periodically blew and deposited marmalade all over the ceiling. Also, because the interior containers had openings in them, I always felt all her veg tasted exactly the same.
That's a great picture of the Angel of the North! That beautiful blue sky probably belies the outdoor temperature.
Val wrote: "Also, because the interior containers had openings in them, I always felt all her veg tasted exactly the same."This is one of the many reasons why I've never had one. The memory of Sunday dinners with overcooked vegetables that all tasted the same (a mixture of carrot and sprout) has never faded sufficiently.
My Mum used to use hers to cook Puddings and Ham Joints and they always turned out beautifully cooked. I've used the Pans many times to cook but never ever as Pressure Cookers with their Lids on as just the idea of it absolutely petrifies me!I could never be in the Kitchen whenever my Mum had one in use as I was always convinced that they were about to explode at any moment!!! ;oO
Val wrote: "My sprouts were done in 5 minutes in the microwave, then put into the oven with butter, flaked almonds and crispy bacon to stay warm for a few minutes. Mind you, I'm probably the only one of the 8 ..."WoW?!! - Val, I must take my Santa Hat off to you! ... actually eating Hot Food for Christmas during the intense Heatwave that you are having there right now?!! ;oO ...
https://www.theguardian.com/australia...
I’m preparing a treatise in praise of the pressure cooker! My mum bought our first one in the ‘50s, my sister and I both bought them when we got married, my nephew and niece also bought them when they set up home. NONE of us has EVER had an explosion! They are always a result of human error, either of insufficient water or forgetting the water altogether.
The tastes can only mix if water gets into the baskets which means there’s too much water. With the right amount, the water will never rise above the trivet. My only failure was with rice, which has to go in a solid basket and it really didn’t work.
As far as I know, modern ones are foolproof.
Microwaves are great for veg, but you can’t do a ginormous quantity of soup in them.
I agree with you, Lez Lee - my Mum always used them with great success. We never had much money when I was growing up and so my Mum used to buy the very cheapest cuts of Meat and tenderise them in the Pressure Cooker into being such tasty and choice morsels ... Happy days! ;o>It was/is just the noise that completely freaked me out as a small child and I've never got brave enough to try to use them myself since then.
In my final year at Uni I had to move out of hall and rent with a couple of other friends who turned out to be absolute slobs. When the pile of dirty crockery was in serious danger of collapsing out of the sink onto the floor as they only rinsed off the top items they needed I made them take home all but one of each item - plate, bowl, mug etc. Where they really excelled themselves was with a pressure cooker. They decided to make some home made rice pudding in it, decided they didn't like it, put the lid back on and left it on the side in the kitchen. After a couple of weeks I put it outside the back door. A couple of MONTHS later they decided to make a curry and only the pressure cooker would suffice so in it came, off came the lid to reveal masses of mould. They scraped it out and cleaned it to reveal deep pitting of the aluminium inside. I didn't partake of the curry, it was reasonably promptly cleaned up afterwards and neither of them suffered any gastronomic issues as a result.
As a student I made a stew. I would buy vegetables and meat and boil up the stew each time before throwing the new stuff in. My assumption was that each boiling would sterilise the stew. This actually worked for weeks and I never had any stomach problems. It was only when I visited my parents for a week and returned that a flatmate said, "I think you'd better look at your stew." It was bright green!
One lad in halls was so tardy of a morning he often missed the (very fulsome) breakfast so, using the limited kitchen facilities (a kettle basically if memory serves), he mixed up a whole packet of porridge oats which he'd then poured into one of the desk drawers (no lining/clingfilm, etc) and then proceeded to carve himself a chunk off as needed, though I never actually saw him consume any. Bizarre idea though.
We once had a trainee librarian fresh from Uni. He had a very good degree, was a member of Mensa and had ambitions to be an SF author. As we usually did with newbies, at breaktime we sent him to the staffroom to make a pot of tea. My friend and I were on first break and found him standing in the kitchen with a pile of teabags, the teapot and the kettle but obviously completely unable to combine them in any sensible order.
I never quite got over the incident when we were working late on a bid for some work with the MoD so the MD's secretary had to ring home and ask her son to put their dinner on. Full instructions were supplied so she thought that should be simple for him to do.Ten minutes later she got a phone call back from her son (who was an Engineering Officer on a nuclear submarine) because he was unable to identify which of the kitchen appliances was the oven. I'm glad I wasn't serving on his boat.
I remember the first flat I moved into and reading the message wishing me a pleasant stay written in the half inch deep layer of lard in the kitchen frying pan.
Gordon wrote: "The layer of lard in the frying pan was always useful for showing up mouse footprints."This layer was probably deep enough to act like quicksand for any mouse trying to cross it!
If you want mice, try living above a fish and chip shop, the all you can eat free fish and chips was great but the rodents were everywhere. We left after about three months since none of us could get any girls to 'come back to the flat for a coffee' more than once what with the all the hot and cold running mice!
Books mentioned in this topic
MEGALOPHILIA: MONOKUBO ARTWORKS (other topics)Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men (other topics)
Paul Hollywood's Pies and Puds (other topics)
The Plight of the Lady Gingerlily: (other topics)
The Plight of the Lady Gingerlily: (other topics)
More...




At least they could have made sprout-flavoured ice-cream.