A Topic Turned Random

[Vivi]

She can get a little excited sometimes :D

[Kelsey]

I know!

[[deleted user]]

Please read! People who've read it before, it is completely different now!

http://www.goodreads.com/story/show/5...

I could really use some constructive criticism on this

[[deleted user]]

I still like it. In giving you constructive criticism, I'd say that you described a little too much. You described the window, the airplane seat, and the weather on the island she was going to.

The key to descriptions is to keep them on a need-to-know basis, ya know? But you're doing really well, and you seem to be improving every time. Nice job, Mikayla. :)

[[deleted user]]

Thank you so much!

You see, in writing, on Monday we have a big project in which we have to write a fiction book, and we only have two weeks to finish it, AT SCHOOL, which means we have like two hours-tops each day. I'm just getting a head start and making changes to it early.

Again, THANKS! :)

[[deleted user]]

No problem! Hope you get an A+. :)

[[deleted user]]

Hee hee hee, I do too. :)

[Vivi]

i liked it :D
on the third sentence where it says "patted I" did you mean "I patted", and on the last sentence of chapter 2 you put glimse instead of glimpse

[[deleted user]]

Can you please join my website? http://clubofsorts.webs.com/

Thanks!

[[deleted user]]

Vivi wrote: "i liked it :D
on the third sentence where it says "patted I" did you mean "I patted", and on the last sentence of chapter 2 you put glimse instead of glimpse"

Oopse... spwellsing errers............... JK
Oops, spelling errors...............