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Reads, anyone?
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Yep, flick it on over mate. I'll have a gander.
Andy wrote: "Yep, flick it on over mate. I'll have a gander."Brilliant - thanks Andy. Have e-mailed it as a Word doc attachment. Hope that's ok.
Cheers ma man.
James wrote: "Throw a copy my way CT."Cheers Jim,
It's on its way as a Word doc. Hope that's ok. If you prefer another method, then just shout.
Thanks,
Word is fine. I'll look out for the carrier pigeon.
Bang it down the line to me, if you'd be so kind.Ta
Hi Cee, I wouldn't mind having a look.Word's fine and you should have my address on the collaborative novel mails
Corben wrote: "Bang it down the line to me, if you'd be so kind.Ta"
Banged it last night, Corben. Oooh errr missus.
Cheers ma man.
Maurice wrote: "Hi Cee, I wouldn't mind having a look.Word's fine and you should have my address on the collaborative novel mails"
Thanks Maurice,
Have sent it via e-mail this morning.
Cheers.
:)
Cee wrote: "Corben wrote: "Bang it down the line to me, if you'd be so kind.Ta"
Banged it last night, Corben. Oooh errr missus.
Cheers ma man."
It didn't arrive, Col. I checked all the usual places. Could you give it another bang ... corben dot duke at gmail dot com.
Ta
Might be a gmail problem Corben. I sent a file from my phone to my main email account and it took about nine hours to arrive.
Corben wrote: "Cee wrote: "Corben wrote: "Bang it down the line to me, if you'd be so kind.Ta"
Banged it last night, Corben. Oooh errr missus.
Cheers ma man."
It didn't arrive, Col. I checked all the usual p..."
Corben wrote: "Cee wrote: "Corben wrote: "Bang it down the line to me, if you'd be so kind.
Ta"
Banged it last night, Corben. Oooh errr missus.
Cheers ma man."
It didn't arrive, Col. I checked all the usual p..."
I'm an utter pillock! Sorry Corbs. It was in my Drafts file! This is probably the reason why it's taken me so long to even come up with 50 pages ... I can never find the damned thing.
It's defo on the way now.
Cheers again.
COLIN
(Ceee Tee)
Will wrote: "Yes, please. Usual email address."Thanks Will,
Sorry for late reply - Saturdays are for sport and beer. Sundays are for sport and beer also, but I have a match at night today, so no beer, and so had the focus to check in to Goodreads and e-mails.
I've sent a copy via e-mail. Definitely.
Cheers
Hi ColinSorry about being a bit slow to get back to you. I got the file okay and have loaded it onto the Kindle. All looks good.
I mentioned being busy with things, but paradoxically that means I have more time to read (I find it a good way to wind down between bouts of work). So I'm already about half way through and I can report that it's a very smooth read.
The only suggestion -- and its not a particularly heartfelt one, more a case of thinking out loud -- was to wonder whether plot-wise things are proceeding a little too easily. Might it not be better if the public meeting scene in ch. 3 ended in a riot (or something like that)? You're probably thinking this will muck up the plot, but if you call on the 'no such thing as bad publicity' principle then it could still merge with subsequent events. Essentially, I'm suggesting that you add some sort of hiccup along the way that is easily overcome prior to the full-scale mayhem that I assume you are leading up to with De'Ath. It would also be a chance to give more screen time to Ancor. After the opening scene focused on him I assumed he would be the main character, though he has faded from view somewhat in subsequent chapters.
Oh, and I like the current title much better than the alternatives you listed.
Cheers
Maurice
Thanks Maurice,There IS a knock-on from the public meeting, but much more subtle than a riot, I'm afraid. I do need the population (the heavy majority at least) to be taken with the idea of forfeiting immortality, so probably hard to justify a riot at that point. But wait on ....
I know what you mean about Ancor. It was never my intention that he be the main character. That role was initially ear-marked for Corolious, the cantankerous crow. But he doesn't now show up for a few more chapters. And he's now a raven.
Yeah, I appreciate Ancor fades from the story-line for a while - this was one of my concerns: how to introduce the characters in their own space without losing focus on those already in place.
I need to find out how best to run two or three sort of parallel storylines at the same time as ensuring the reader doesn't forget who came before. Hmmmn.
Interesting you like Evhen & Uurth better than the other possible titles. Certainly, the others do sound perhaps a bit like they might be more 'serious' Sci Fi or fantasy stories and so hook in the wrong / unsuspecting and ultimately disappointed kind of reader. Maybe E&U does indicate something lighter and appealing to a quirky and inquisitive type.
Thanks for your time on this Maurice. If you do read on, I'd be interested to see what you think of where it's going.
Cheers.
I've finished.You asked what I think of where it's going... Not sure really. I HAD thought that the De'Ath character was going to turn out all dastardly, but he instead came across a quite mild mannered up close.
Not starting with your main character is an interesting choice. It does wrong-foot the reader, but then there's no reason why you shouldn't do that. As for who is going to be the main character? It is not at all clear at this point. It occurred to me that if it was Corolious, he has the advantage of being a crow, which is to say he could lurk about in the background a bit before coming to the fore. You could even do a prologue -- though often frowned upon it might be a way to get the main character in front of your reader early (readers being like bird chicks or whatever in that they tend to imprint on whatever they see first).
I'm guessing that the whole death business is going to go wrong in an entertaining way at some point, but beyond that it seems wide open.
Happy to keep reading, so let me know when the next batch is ready
Cheers Maurice,The Prologue WAS actually in my plans was back when I first started this nonsense. But I was put off by comments I read saying that it was def NOT the way to start a book.
There seemm to be so many rules surrounding the writing a novel, I doubt i'll get by without breaking a few. Lots.
Cheers
Don't worry too much about style related rules. I'm sure many are transient fashions taught on creative writing courses, and some of the best books break them.
James wrote: "Don't worry too much about style related rules. I'm sure many are transient fashions taught on creative writing courses, and some of the best books break them."I like this comment. :)
I don't see them so much as rules, but more as pointers to what readers usually do or don't want to read. All other things being equal, we are going to sell more books if we give readers more of what they want.They're not hard and fast rules that you absolutely have to follow. Some are insta-rejects by editors, but readers can be more tolerant. If you know the rules/ pointers you might as well follow them. Anything to increase the odds of being successful, eh?
Here's a case in point. We are taught to avoid saidisms - either finding exotic replacements for "said" or feeling the need to add an adverb to it. The argument is that the reader ought to work out how someone is speaking for themselves. The speech ought to be strong enough.
I have just used the Amazon "look inside" for a book which has, in the first few pages:
he grunted
said Mr X loudly
she said sharply
said Mrs X stiffly
she said impatiently
said Y gently
said professor X irritably
said Y calmly
said Z heavily
It would have been a better book if the author had developed a bit more variety in the way she described speech. I couldn't finish the book because this (and other rule-breaking) irritated me constantly.
But I have to admit that the book did quite well. It's the first Harry Potter.
To be fair, it has strong plot and characters which readers tend to notice more than the writing style.
A few of the Incas are starting to make headway. I know it's not CLOGgy but Mummy's Little Angel by JW Lawson is cracking through. That was on the back of winning a competition, but don't lose hope. Also our Catherine Lenderi has a job as Editor on Fiery Seas, and is now actively taking submissions if you have anything as yet unpublished but you'd like to give a chance.For style guides, have a look what she's written on the Incas - http://www.incaproject.co.uk/editing.... and also the rest of the material on the 'Resources' tab.
Also, Inca James Court is investigating an alternative publishing route and we are getting near. He has sent his delightful comedy, Percy's Predicament off to test the route and is expecting copies very soon (I'm sure he would like you all to buy one - so you can see the quality as well as the content.)
Finally, our only stumbling block to SP are obtaining the ISBNs. I could buy a block of 100, but that would mean investing a load of dosh. Is anyone interested in actually paying for one? The downside is that Createspace give them for free, but publishers tend to shy away from their ISBNs. Having our own brand would make it a bit more exclusive.
Not sure about the weak tea. There may be the odd thrifty individual who uses a teabag on a string and replaces it every Friday whether it's expired or not, but most of us go for the bag in mug and boiling water. The older of us then get distracted by something else, and leave it until stewed. The only time I get weak tea is when abroad.
I think there's a scale of tea strength which runs from lightly infused to disgustingly stewed by way of "not too strong", "just about right" and good ol' British builders with three sugars and a grand canyon of a blue jean arse-crack.My ex-wife and I were ordering coffee in a restaurant when the waiter asked how we like it. My ex said "wet and weak, like my men". She looked particularly smug at this point.
There was only one thing I could say in response:
"Hot and black."
The funny thing was, we were both right.
Will wrote: "I think there's a scale of tea strength which runs from lightly infused to disgustingly stewed by way of "not too strong", "just about right" and good ol' British builders with three sugars and a g..."Funny! :-D
Mod
He has. He has. And much appreciated they were too - as were those from Will and James. Cheers guys - a lot of positive comment and a good few things I knew I'd have problems with, for which you've given many great pointers.
I too have been away from writing for a few weeks now - a combination of our Diane's birthday celebrations, increased number of circuit sessions and tennis matches and, well, let's be honest - beer.
But I'm back now and in about 15 mins am going to start making changes to E&U - incorporating your suggestions, but also changing a few character traits. Hopefully what I have will make for a better read in a few weeks time.
Thanks for all your feedback.
#cloggersrawk
Done it!
Nah - don't be silly. It's only the first 50 pages of a conventional paperback, @ 15k words.
Yeah - 'Evhen & Uurth,' ( NOT the final title, just a WT) has reached 9 (count 'em) chapters.
It's been done in about 100 sessions of 10 mins which equates to only about 16 hours work. (So why has that in REAL terms taken the best part of over a year?)
Anyway - if at all possible, I'm looking for some general feedback before I head on over the 9th chapter hump (steady!) I do have some misgivings, mainly due to the moods I was in during each of those 10 minute periods of activity. I wonder if there is an obvious lack of continuity / styles.
It's certainly not the way the finished article will look - heck, I'm not completely sure which way the story will turn next (though I do have a general plan) but right now I'm open for complete slaughter before I waste another ten minutes of my life.
All I'm really looking for is just general, honest comments. As brutal as you like - I trust you guys. ;)
I'm a bit concerned about the pace and continuity and humour and .. well, kinda everything, really.
Anyone up for a butcher's, just gimme a shout.
Cheers.