Life Without Ed® (with Jenni!) discussion
Help...I Need Encouragement!
Heidi wrote: "Melody wrote: "Hey Heidi! I am glad you are feeling better. :) Continuing to send positive thoughts your way."Thank you, Melody."
Hi, can someone explain what php is? A few people have used that term and I'm not familiar. Thanks
Sara
Hi Melody. You are all awesome. I managed to get through yesterday. However, today has been a different story. I had a really bad panic attack during the night and in general today has been hard. I’ve got the I don’t want to disappoint my dietician, so how Can I make up what didn’t happen yet? Then I know how it will make me feel, so I want to start over tomorrow.
My anxiety makes me feel sick too Melody. I’ve been breaking out in rashes from it being so bad too.
Sara wrote: "Heidi wrote: "Melody wrote: "Hey Heidi! I am glad you are feeling better. :) Continuing to send positive thoughts your way."Thank you, Melody."
Hi, can someone explain what php is? A few people ..."
Thanks Melody.
Roxanne wrote: "Today is way to hot and don't want to eat. Restriction is so easy to fall back into. I was in a php but thought one on one was able to deal with ed and other issues. I am using my tools but feel li..."Hi Roxanne,
ED behaviors are very easy to fall back into at times. Great job using your tools, and great job coming here. Posting in this group takes a lot of strength and courage.
When I am struggling, I usually write/journal, color, take my dog for a hike through one of the local parks, listening to music, email my therapist, and/or email my dietitian. Lately, I have noticed that I have been allowing myself to sit with the urges and feel the pain that is helping strengthen those urges. This is very scary to do, as I have always distracted myself from emotional pain. Also, coming online to this group and posting about my struggles and/or offering support/encouragement to others helps me as well. I made a post a while back with some ideas of healthy coping skills. I will try to find it and repost it below.
You've got this Roxanne!! It may not feel like it at times, but you are stronger than your ED.
Hi all! It’s been a little while since I’ve posted.
I’m struggling with my relapses a lot this week..
My Therapist is helping get into a PHP/IOP program until I make up my mind on going into residential or not. We filled out the application today for the IOP/PHP. I was also emailed a few scholarships (thanks to Meredith and Jenni!) so we are looking into those on Saturday.
I want to do this but I’m scared to lose my job again..
I guess I’m just looking for a bit of feedback?
I’m sorry..
Thanks!
This is a repost of two previous posts of mine with some healthy coping skills.Some other ideas for helping you to redirect, ground, and center yourself are:
- Make a list of positive affirmations, and reflect back on it when you are struggling. When my therapist was out on medical leave for 4 weeks, I took a notebook and in big, colorful letters I wrote one positive affirmation on each page. I came up with 3 to 4 positive affirmations each day she was gone. Each day before and after I wrote the affirmations, I would read all of the previous affirmations. So, for 4 weeks, I was constantly repeating the affirmations to myself. Now, when I am struggling, I try to remember to pull these out and read them.
- You can also include things you are grateful in your notebook of positive affirmations, or you can write a separate list of things you are grateful for.
- If you have a pet, play with it. If you have a dog, take it for a walk.
- Call someone you have not talked to in a while, and see how he/she is doing. Have a nice conversation with him/her.
- Go out with some friends. You can go to a mall, to the movies, to a park, to dinner.
- Come online. Search for positive quotes or inspirational quotes. Come to this group or another online support group and offer support or ask for support.
- Vent about what is going on. You can do this through writing in a journal, emailing your therapist (if you have one), emailing a close friend or family member, or even just writing it on a piece of paper and then ripping up that paper.
- Look around you, and find 5 blue objects and 5 red objects.
- Sit on a chair, feet flat on the floor, and take a slow deep breath in count to 7 as you breath in through your nose, hold your breath for 5 seconds, then slowly let your breath out and count to 7 as you breath out through your mouth.
Another breathing exercise that was shared in my ED group:
Instead of counting when breathing, spell the word relax.
As you take a slow deep breath in through your nose, spell R E L A X
Then, breath out through your mouth, and spell R E L A X.
Or...
Take a slow deep breath in through your nose, spell R E L A X
Hold it and spell R E L A X
Then, breath out through your mouth, and spell R E L A X.
Sage wrote: "Hi all! It’s been a little while since I’ve posted.
I’m struggling with my relapses a lot this week..
My Therapist is helping get into a PHP/IOP program until I make up my mind on going into resid..."
Wow! This is great, Sage! I'm proud of you for taking care of yourself. This is a scary step, and the fear of losing your job is very understandable. Do you have short-term and/or long-term leave of absence at your job? If you do, I would suggest contacting your HR and asking them how to go about receiving the leave of absence, and what constitutes as medical reasoning/do you need medical reasoning for the leave of absence? Also ask if the job can terminate you if you take a leave of absence, I don't think they can.
Please don't apologize, as you have done nothing wrong.
You are such a strong and amazing person, Sage!!
My issue is my job finding out about my mental health again because I lost my last job because of my mental health. Thank you for your insight. I’ve just had no idea what to do. 😨
Hi Sage, It's discrimination to fire someone due to health problems, and especially mental health. But sadly they can find ways to do it if they want to by saying its due to a restructure , or that your performance doesn't meet the standard.If you feel it is because of you taking time off you can talk to HR and say that you believe it is because you took time off for your health, and are going to seek legal advice. They won't want this as it will look bad for them.
But best to do as Heidi suggested and talk to HR before you make you decision. Say that you may need some time of for health reasons, but you are not obliged to give the reason and say it's a mental health issue. Ask what would be the situation with your job. Then you can make a decision.
I totally understand your plight, as I have been in the same situation. I hope it works out so that you can do the treatment you need. Best of luck! Sara
Sage wrote: "My issue is my job finding out about my mental health again because I lost my last job because of my mental health. Thank you for your insight. I’ve just had no idea what to do. 😨"You are welcome, Sage. Like Sara said, if your work were to terminate your employment, and you believe they targeted you due to your illness, you can threaten to take legal action for discrimination.
Stay strong, Sage. You've got many cheerleaders behind you.
First of all, that’s awesome you have gotten to the place you have. You have clearly worked so hard. Were you in treatment or did you do it at home with the help of a team?I’ve been where you are and it is not comfortable at all. Body image is the last thing to go, unfortunately. Some helpful things for me have been to (temporarily) wear comfortable clothes like sweatpants and looser T-shirt’s.i say temporarily because in the long run it won’t help to hide all the time (trust me, I tried). Jeans were the worst. Another thing with clothes, and this has nothing to do with losing weight now, but when you go through the redeeming process (whether you gain a small amount or a lot), it is not distributed in your body like it normally would be. It automatically goes to places that house vital organs (For example, lots of people say certain areas have gotten bigger...or in general feel disproportional.) I felt that way. That’s not to say other people would notice, but it can happen. When you stop using behaviors, it all evens out. Unfortunately I’m not saying you’ll lose all the weight you gained, but when it happens you’ll start noticing a change.
I’ll be honest, I’ve had periods of 2 and 3 years of ED recovery. I can’t honestly say I have ever been able to look in the mirror and love what I saw, very rarely even like (and if I did like it, it was typically something I was wearing). I HAVE gotten to where I don’t avoid every mirror and my reflection in windows. Why? I don’t walk around constantly thinking about how ugly I am. I don’t HATE the way I look. Do I wake up every morning and stare at myself in the mirror as soon as I get out of bed and tell myself how beautiful I am? Hell no. Even typing “beautiful” and “I am” next to each other just now is something I’d never do at one point, even as a hypothetical situation.
Maybe I haven’t gotten to the point where I love my body, but I’ve accepted that it is the way it is. It changes from day to day. I don’t weigh myself. I am never gonna look like I think I “should”, or be able to pull off certain outfits because of my body shape. That’s ok. It’s definitely not worth killing myself over.
Something that has helped me is to write in as much detail as possible how horrible life was when I was at my worst. It’s so easy to forget how bad it was once you’re out of it. On a rough day, (or daily for now if you need to), go back and read it as a reminder. I’ve done the same on a really good day in recovery...wrote about things I am able to and want to do but couldn’t before, cool things I did that day, etc, things I wasn’t able or didn’t have the energy to do while in my ED.
Those are a few scattered thoughts that came to me. Hope you have a good day.
Having such high anxiety and depression over returning to php eating disorder setting. My ED mind is telling me don't return it is stupid you can do this on your own. I have weekly appointments with the ed therapist for now. It is not enough. I spend my days trying to eat. This is no life.
This week has had a difficult start. I took several steps backwards and let Ed take control, even after I received some good news. Then, tonight, I had my ED group. I don't remember how much I have shared about my group, but I'm the only one in the group with my main ED behaviors, everyone else's main ED behaviors are opposite of mine. I had spoken with my therapist, who happens to also be the group therapist, a few weeks ago about how the group might not be a good fit for me. We both agreed that I'd give it a few more weeks. Tonight, Ed was so loud and was using much of what was said in the group to support the behaviors he wants me to do (today also happens to be the first day since Friday that I didn't let Ed have any control over what I ate). I was so busy arguing with Ed that I struggled to focus. After group, I asked my therapist if I could speak with her. For the first time in the 3 years I've been her client, she saw me cry as I told her that I don't think I can continue in the group. We talked for a few minutes and I was 100% honest with her regarding group. She said we can continue the workbook in our private sessions if I want to, and I said I did.Now, I'm feeling so guilty. I know I did what's right for me, but I feel like I let my therapist down and I feel like a failure for giving up on the group.
Heidi, I’m sad that you feel guilty with regard to ED. Remember that it’s about making progress, no more perfectionist thinking. This idea is so foreign to me, but it’s important. I’m a all or nothing person so when anything wasn’t perfect, I’d throw in the towel and give up. My recovery from Ana is far from perfect but I remember my worst days and can see I’ve made “some” progress. This keeps me trying. God bless your day. Hang in there.
Michelle wrote: "Heidi, I’m sad that you feel guilty with regard to ED. Remember that it’s about making progress, no more perfectionist thinking. This idea is so foreign to me, but it’s important. I’m a all or noth..."Thank you, Michelle.
The guilt is more so from quitting the ED group than from slipping back into ED behaviors.
Melody wrote: "Hey Heidi! I just wanted to say it sounds like you put yourself first and I am proud of you. It sounds like you and your therapist really discerned about it. Hang in there!"Thank you, Melody.
That’s always hard, Melody. It seems to me like you at least in a place (I could be wrong) where it’s ok to use your judgement. I’m not even gonna mention specifics because I refuse to say the stereotypical “sick foods”. If you’re nauseous or anything stick with foods that are bland and easy on your stomach. Things like Gatorade and 7up are good to have around. If you can eat but just don’t feel like making something, Boost is always an option. I know the thought of it is no fun but sometimes it makes life so much easier. A few months ago they were a lifesaver for me. I had surgery to remove a fibroid. I went in expecting laparoscopic outpatient and woke up to find out they had to do open surgery. Needless to say, once I got to go home (especially the first couple weeks), I only got out of bed when I had to and walking to the kitchen to grab that out of the fridge and fill up my water was the most I could handle.
Just take it easy. If you miss something, use your judgement and like always, just do the next right thing. As long as you aren’t using it as an excuse then you are ok. Hope you feel better!
Both my therapist and dietitian tell me I have to eat even when I'm sick. I have not had the stomach flu since being in treatment, so I don't know what they'd say then, but when I've had a cold or just a stomach ache they've pushed me to continue following my meal plan. I like Rachel's suggestion of Boost, and actually, I was just thinking the other day that I should ask my dietitian about Boost, because it claims to be a good source of protein and my protein levels are low.
I'm feeling like a hypocrite, because I've only had one good day this last week where I followed my meal plan. I've allowed Ed to take over and I am struggling to get my life back. This morning, I'm hearing Jenni in my head saying, "Fall down 7 times, get up 8." I feel like I can't get up, but I know I can, because I've been here before.
I need to evict Ed in the next couple of weeks before I start my new job. I know I probably won't be 100% successful at evicting him in such a short time period, but I need him to have less control and for me to have more control over myself. He's so angry with me right now, because he doesn't want me posting this. He's telling me how dumb I'll look and how others won't take me seriously if they know I'm struggling and so weak. This morning I'm agreeing with him, but I'm going to disobey him and post this anyways. I need to work on disobeying him today, but I am not sure I'll be successful.
Any encouragement, thoughts, suggestions will be greatly appreciated.
Heidi,I I wasn’t in any way trying to tell Melody it was ok not to eat (hopefully it didn’t come off that way). I also don’t know how sick she is. For some people, a cold is a runny nose and headache. For others, it may as well be the flu and could include nausea, that’s why I said what I did. I also realized a couple hours after I posted it that I said something about it seeming like she was in a place in her recovery where she was able to use her judgement. Nothing against you Melody, but I realized that I’m basing that on the feedback I’ve seen her give...and mostly having nothing nothing to do with actual eating. For all I know, she could be in complete recovery or need to be admitted to treatment ASAP. It’s kind of how you can send someone a text with the best intentions (here I have to be careful because I’m a sarcastic smartass), but the person who reads it may take it a completely opposite way. I did say something about the judgement thing later.
As for Boost, it has a lot of protein and nutrients. They actually have a High Protein option. I don’t think I’ve EVER heard or know someone who has a dietitian against their ED patient drinking Boost (I can think of two circumstances why they might not). I doubt she will want you to use it as a meal replacement except on occasion. Some people tend drink Boost for more meals than eat solid food. I personally did that and basically lived on a liquid diet. At the point where I was then, my dietician was actually happy since that was more than I would have gotten in food-wise. (I feel like since I said she was happy I need to explain so no one thinks she’s horrible! Haha. By then we had already been looking into residential treatment but because I didn’t meet certain “criteria”, insurance was not cooperating...)
I am proud of you for doing better on Thursday(?) or whatever day that was. I hope things have gone up since then and you have been able to continue to do well, even if it hasn’t been perfect. (You need to go back and read you comment about my scale picture.)
I’m sure you’ve heard this before. I know I’ve told people and been told the same thing countless times. There is a huge difference between a slip and a relapse! If you use any behaviors, even if it’s more than once, but are able (yes, YOU did it) to pull yourself out of it and get back on track, even if it takes a few days, that’s a slip. A relapse is when you use a behavior and then just keep going downhill. Sometimes it starts as a slip, which you can get out of. Those slips keep happening and people get in that “Eff if!” mindset where they can’t get their minds off of the idea that “It clearly keeps happening so what’s the point of trying??” I bet we have all had that thought.
I think one of the most important and helpful things I’ve learned is the idea that thoughts are in your head. Yes, they can be powerful but they can’t physically make you do anything. It’s what you do with them that matters. That is not to say that sometime thoughts don’t seem to take control over us sometimes, but in reality they can’t. You have to figure out how to get out those thoughts in a healthy way, much easier said than done, and eventually it gets easier.
Back to the ‘judgement’ thing: There does come a time when you hit a certain point in recovery though where you don’t have a meal plan to rely on or may not have a dietician pushing you. You have to have it in you to do it yourself. That’s not to say you won’t have support, but you have that ability back to use your own judgement and instead of using the control to hurt yourself, you use it to take care of you.
Hi Rachel,I was just trying to answer Melody's question about what to do when you get sick. I have only had a cold or stomach ache, not an actual flu, since I have been with my current treatment team, so I was just sharing what my experience has been since being in treatment. I was in no means trying to say anything about your post (except for the Boost part).
Right now, to be honest if I had a Boost I would use it as a meal replacement.... but if I can get myself back on track, it would probably just be used as a snack or however my dietitian recommends.
I only did well the one day. I fell right back into my ED behaviors/habits the next day. Even today, I'm just now (almost noon) sitting here and trying to force myself to go against Ed.
Yes, I have heard and said the same thing about slipping and relapsing. Thank you for the reminder.
I did go back to your picture and look at what I said. Thank you.
Thank you for the reminder about the thoughts.
I'm sorry that you're struggling Melody, and I do hope you get to feeling better soon. Thank you for the reminder of taking things moment by moment.
Heidi I hope you don’t think I was harping on you or anything. That wasn’t my intention at all. Personally, at this second, if you know you aren’t going to eat a meal but drink a Boost...that’s a lot better than nothing. It shows you’re trying. The Boost is also really the only thing I was referring to about that post (I think). Oh yeah, and getting to a place where you are able to use your judgement. That part was supposed to be hopeful in terms of being a positive of recovery.The rest was more commenting on your post before that (you did mention some stuff in the other one too). Sorry I should have been more specific. Now some of it may make a little more sense. For instance, bringing up slip vs. relapse. You said you only had the one “good day”. You don’t have to answer this (or if you want to but not here you can always message me), but it’s something to thing about. What do you consider a “Good” day when it comes to food? Does that mean it has to be perfect or at least mostly food-wise? Is it a “Bad” day if you miss or have too much of one thing, exercise 10 minutes longer than you’re allowed? Something to think about. You said it yourself. If you could do it once, you can do it again.
That is also why I thought you should go back to that picture. It was like you didn’t even look at and read the quote, but went straight to what I said about it. What you had to say made me think (and don’t even give the credit to Jenni 😋). You then asked me a question which, when I couldn’t answer, encouraged me to journal about it. See, I tend to post pictures of quotes for a few reasons. I’m not great with words so between quotes and song lyrics I’m able to get out what I feel like I can’t. They’re pretty! Sometimes I need a break from just words. They’re pretty self explanatory. That leads me into the fact that I don’t have to worry about getting comments that are thought provoking, make me dig deep and actually get personal here. Then, here comes the exception, Miss(?) Heidi. That is EXACTLY why I wanted you to read your commentS.
(My last comment there BTW is what I mean about being a sarcastic smartass. I forget I’m not talking to certain people who, even in a text or email, would know I was kidding. Once I typed it though I had to send it. That’s why I constantly think I’m gonna come on here one day and be banned...haha. Have you noticed who HASN’T commented since? 😉)Like I’ve said, making fun of the ridiculous things I’ve done is one way to not beat myself up for it... almost like of MY coping skills.
I know you can do this. I think you know it too. Wait, you’ve said you know it. But will you? This is where the thoughts vs actions come into play. Maybe you should do a brain dump before you eat, just not right before in case something brings up an issue. I’ve never tried it, just a thought.
Hey Rachel,I appreciate and thank you for all the thoughts and suggestions you have shared with me today. I do not feel like you've been bossy or harping.
What do I consider a good day? A good day is when I am able to follow my meal plan perfectly.... Ms. Perfectionist..... *sigh* an okay day (these are newer for me, they used to be bad days) is when I miss one or two food exchanges. Okay days may include eating one or two extra food exchanges. And bad days are when I miss more than two exchanges.
Haha - Okay, I won't give Jenni credit for what I said in my comment on your pic. I completely understand about using pics, quotes, and lyrics to help express yourself.
In regards to your fear of being banned from the group. I do not believe Jenni would ever just up and bann you. She cares about everyone in this group. If she is concerned about a post or something you said, she may delete your post and then private message you, but I think it would take a lot to get banned by her. She has been traveling a lot these last couple of weeks, so she's been pretty quiet, but if I may make a suggestion ..... If you haven't already, send Jenni a private message sharing your fear of being banned (I know you've mentioned it a few times in posts).
Thank you again, Rachel.
Everything I’m about to say is my opinion. Just saying...That is exactly how I thought you would describe your days, which is why I wanted you to read where YOU used the term “perfectly imperfect” to me. After physically typing that all out, are you able to see how perfectionistic (I think I just made up a word) it sounds when you say you’ve had one good day over the past however long? THAT is how you are doing...perfectly imperfect. When someone says they have been using behaviors, or only had one good day for the past week, I assume that a “bad day” in terms of behaviors means, depending on their disorder, most of (if not the entire) the day they acted on urges.
Obviously that is my perception and I’m not trying to downplay how you feel at all. My hope is by getting it out, you are able to see it from a different perspective? Possibly before I posted this.
About getting banned, I know I say that a lot and that she won’t do it. I kind of do it jokingly, but it’s also in a sense my way of getting out how stupid I feel my comments are and that I don’t deserve to be in this group.
Mod
Love this image! Thanks, Heidi.
Mod
This is great, Michelle. Thank you!
Mod
Mod
Thank you, Melody."
Hi, can someone explain what php is? A few people ..."
Hi Sara -- Here is a link that helps explain! Great question.
https://www.eatingrecoverycenter.com/...
Jenni wrote: "Heidi wrote: ""Love this image! Thanks, Heidi."
You're welcome.
Jenni wrote: "You CAN. I believe in all of you!"
Thank you for believing in me, Jenni. You're such an amazing person and a wonderful inspiration to so many people!!
This was shared at work today during our daily reflection, and I thought of this group, and how each of our support systems are our branches, like the red cedar trees, helping to hold us up and helping us to stand tall. Along the western coast of the United States, there are huge groves of red cedars.
They grow tall and lovely, and appear to be very strong.
But, their roots are shallow.
When one falls, others often follow.
Do you know what holds up these beautiful trees?
They lean on each other.
Their branches touch and support one another.
Not one of them can stand alone.
(Author Unknown)
This is also posted in the photo section.
Melody wrote: "Thanks Heidi for sharing! I love trees so much and the beauty of how they grow and change with the weather. I appreciate you!"Thank you, Melody. I appreciate you as well. I also love trees, and anything nature. Much of my photography hobby is spent taking pics of trees (and nature).
Help!I was in a psychiatric facility for a week and a half because of an attempt.
I am now home and I’ve been struggling with ED and ED behaviors since I was in the hospital.
Encouragement would be appreciated I don’t know what to do.
I’m supposed to be going into a residential treatment center soon. If anybody has been in a residential treatment center can you either message me here or comment and tell me how it was.
Thank you!!!
Hi Sage,Great job reaching out and asking for the support you need. I am really proud of you for taking care of yourself by entering a residential treatment center. I bet it is pretty scary doing something unfamiliar to you, and I hope that by asking others who have been to a residential treatment center questions, you will find some peace with your decision. Please keep us updated.
Keep taking it moment by moment, Sage.
I have been to a couple, Sage...as well as a few psych units. I’m about to fall asleep so can’t type much this second but they are extremely different experiences. Personally, I think being in a psych unit is much worse than residential. Feel free to PM me and ask anything you want to know. I’ll answer the best I can. If you want, tell me where you are going. Chances are if it’s not somewhere I’ve been, I either know someone who has or have done a ton of research about it while looking into places to go. (When I say research I don’t just mean looking at their website. I find people who have been there and talk to them because I want to know from a first hand perspective what it is like, as well as asking professionals I know about it.) It’s different for everyone, but in terms of sleeping situations, what mealtime is like, etc...sometimes just knowing the basics helps.
Melody wrote: "Struggling with sadness tonight—what do others do when you can’t seem to get out of a funk?"Sorry to hear you're struggling with sadness. Have you tried journaling about it and letting it all out? What is something you enjoy doing that makes you feel good or happy?
Sometimes when I'm sad, I will color or find some positive and upbeat music to listen to.
Some people I know will also write a gratitude list when they are sad to help turn their focus on things they are grateful for.
Hope you feel better soon!!
I love Heidi’s suggestions. I’ve been told though that before trying to distract or do anything it’s important to sit with it at least for a few minutes, especially if you aren’t really sure where it is coming from. (They say feelings are important, too. Psh.) If you already know what it is and have been sitting with it, that’s different. Still okay to be sad, but you don’t want to dwell on it either. Obviously it’s different for each situation and every person, but hopefully I made a little sense.
Melody wrote: "Struggling with sadness tonight—what do others do when you can’t seem to get out of a funk?"How are you doing now Melody?
Melody wrote: "Thanks Heidi and Rachel. Still struggling pretty intensely. :/"You've got this, Melody!! You are stronger than Ed, and you can kick his butt!!
What coping skills have you found helpful?
Hello. I know that I have been rather absent lately. Is it okay to say that I'm not okay? That part of me would rather go back to ed? I don't mean to be selfish, it's just that I can't deal. Things are really rough emotionally. I'm losing complete confidence in my therapist and I'm in shut down mode at the moment. I don't want to talk to anyone in my house or even my therapist at this point. I've taken in as much as I can handle and there's not much more that can can handle. There's not much to even say really. Just that I'm not okay. Sorry for being such a downer.
Christina wrote: "Hello. I know that I have been rather absent lately. Is it okay to say that I'm not okay? That part of me would rather go back to ed? I don't mean to be selfish, it's just that I can't deal. Things..."So sorry to hear things are so rough for you right now. I hear you are not wanting to reach out to your therapist, but would you be willing to reach out to the Crisis Text Line? They would give you someone you can chat with. You can text NEDA to 741741. I really hope things get better for you soon.
https://www.crisistextline.org
Heidi, I had tried reaching out to my therapist. She was supposed to call during her free hour from 12-1 and she never called and then I texted her again seeing if she was able to call around 5 and I never heard back. I needed to talk to her. It’s been a struggle especially with the holiday coming up and not having meds to take. So I’m a bit more emotional than normal.
Life Without Ed® (with Jenni!)
Books mentioned in this topic
Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead (other topics)Almost Anorexic: Is My (or My Loved One's) Relationship with Food a Problem? (other topics)
Goodbye Ed, Hello Me: Recover from Your Eating Disorder and Fall in Love with Life (other topics)
Mom in the Mirror: Body Image, Beauty, and Life after Pregnancy (other topics)
I'm afraid that at times if I don't stand back up...immediately, then I've done recovery wrong.
Well, being that it's the encouragement group....It's 10:07 here and I'm struggling to buckle down and have my night snack due to a lot of extra stress and not feeling great. Anxiety and stress and a few other things (complications from ed- that can be fixed) make me feel sick to my stomach. My dietician tells me that if I don't have a stomach bug then there's no excuse not to follow the meal plan. Maybe Ed is really strong and helping me do whatever in my power to distract and avoid.
This is just so incredibly hard.