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message 301:
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Haley
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Jul 13, 2017 12:58PM
I would say..if I was a girl, Esther...if I was a guy, Daniel.
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Those are nice! What are your reasons for choosing them, Haley?I asked my mom this question and without a moment of hesitation she said "King David". When I replied with "why?" She said "to lead the house of prayer".
She has started a few houses of prayer and bases them off David's method. So I really shouldn't have been surprised that that is what she said.
Lazarus, because he was such a close friend of Jesus'
Hmm...well, I have always admired Esther because she was so brave...same with Daniel. And, they both risked their lives to save their people and stand for their beliefs.They both are my favorite Bible characters too!
That is so cool! Love it :)I would have to say I would probably choose to be one of the two men who walked with Jesus on the road to Emmaus because as they walked and ate, the resurrected Jesus came and explained the scriptures to them starting at the beginning all the way to the prophets. And I would sell everything to hear the Bible explained to me by its very Author. Can you imagine the insight and the heart and soul that must have hit those two men as Jesus spoke with them? All of the crazy facts and things that we all missed over explained with absolute truth by The Absolute Truth? And even how they said "our hearts burned within us". Yeah... I would want to be one of those men. For sure.
Whoaaa yeah! That's awesome :)
Hey, gals! So what do you think of this story??Running in the Night
November, 1935
Nazi Germany
I awoke to the sound of nothing. A hand clutched my shoulder, shaking me awake from my slumber. My eyes flew open to see my best and only friend Rebecca with a finger to her lips, signaling that I should remain quiet and make no noise. I nodded and slowly sat up, doing my best to make no noise. However, being deaf, I could not know if I was making any sound at all.
Rebecca held a piece of paper in her other hand. She raised it up for me to read. In the dim light of the moon, I squinted to make the word out.
Gestapo.
I immediately swung my feet to the cold wooden floor. As I pulled on my boots, Becky slowly opened the window of the attic. Our host family for the past week had cleared a spot in the attic for us to stay while we were running from the Nazis. The attic, they explained, had a window with a vine crawling right up next to it. It was the perfect way to escape in case the Gestapo searched the houses. After an entire week of no searches for runaways, our luck had run out. The secret police had come.
I walked up to Becky and nodded to hear to show that I was ready. She held up three fingers. Even before our families had sent us away to hide from the Nazis, we had come up with a way of communication—finger and hand gestures. The gesture that she just showed me told me that both her and I had only three minutes to climb down the three-story house before the Gestapo came. If we had three minutes, the Gestapo must have been searching the other houses around here when our host family heard about it. Maybe luck was on our side.
Becky clutched my hand as I swung one leg out the window. My leg searched blindly for the vine for just a moment before finding it. Then, I drew my entire body out of the window. As soon as I was fully hanging onto the vine, Becky began her way out of the window and onto the vine.
I took a deep breath and made my way down the vine.
The cool air chilled my bones, but I ordered myself to not stop to pull my sweater closer around me. My eyes were opened wide, even though I knew I had had only a few hours asleep before Becky woke me up. She must have heard the commotion outside of the house. That was why both of our families had wanted us to leave together. I would have been caught the first day I ran away because I would not have heard them stomping and searching the houses. Because of Becky, I was still alive.
Being Jewish, my entire family was at risk of being sent to a prison camp, or concentration camp. However, being a Jewish deaf girl made me the main target.
After what seemed like an hour, my feet finally touched the ground. My worn-out boots did not do much to protect my feet from the thorns and sticks that were scattered over the ground from fallen branches. Still, I did my best to ignore the pain. Those already in prison camps had it worse than me.
Seconds later, Becky stood next to me, pushing me towards the tree line, about a hundred yards away from where we stood. I took a hold of Becky’s hand and started running. When only a quarter way there, breathing started getting harder and harder. My lungs were being pushed too hard. I wouldn’t be able to make it. Becky squeezed my hand tighter, urging me to keep going. I could feel her messages through our hands. We couldn’t stop now. We were almost free. We could both do this together.
I launched myself back into a run, just realizing that I had been slowing Becky down. If just for Becky, I could do this.
Finally, we made it to the trees. Becky let go of my hand and leaned her back against a large tree. She rested her hands on her knees and tried to slow down her breathing. My own hands found my way to my chest, feeling the quick beating of my heart. I turned to look at the house that I had been sleeping in just a few minutes before. Lights from every window shone to the rest of the city. Silhouettes could be seen moving around the house.
I turned to face Becky, searching her eyes in the moonlight. Her entire face filled with regret as soon as she understood what I was thinking. She shook her head.
There had been gunshots. I knew it. I closed my eyes, willing myself not to cry. Even though I had met the host family days ago, they saved us and in doing so, lost themselves to the Gestapo.
Becky placed her hand on my arm. Her own eyes glistened with tears, but she knew what we had to do. We could not stop to mourn; we had to keep running.
Nodding, I turned to face the long journey ahead of us. The trees swayed in the cool breeze, as if waving us forward, as if they were cheering us on.
We took a step forward. As we were about to begin our run, Becky froze and spun around. I followed her eyes to where they were watching. Lights were coming towards us.
We started sprinting further into the trees. Sweat poured down my cheeks as I raced through the bushes and branches
Suddenly, Becky lurched forward and hit the ground, breaking apart our linked hands. I don’t know if I screamed or made any noise but my mouth opened in shock. A dark stain covered her sweater’s back. I could see she was saying something but I could understand.
Bright lights suddenly made my vision go black. It took me a split second to adjust to the lighting. Dozens of Nazi soldiers came towards me with determined strides.
I turned back towards Becky. She lifted her head up, as if it was as heavy as the world on her soldiers, and I could see in her eyes one single word.
Run.
Then, her head fell forward onto the dirt. The soldiers had shot my best friend and killed her, but still their eyes held no regret, no pain.
With that final thought, I ran, not to delay death by the soldiers, not to be free from the Nazi. I ran for Becky.
This story is a fully fictional piece, except for the setting and time-period in which the Nazis did rule Germany and other parts of Europe. However, the Nazi regime did hunt down Jews, as well as those who had disabilities and were “socially unfit”.
(BTW, this is for a short story contest and I just wanted to get some opinions on it before I sent it in ;)
That was really good!! I would defiantly send that in!!
Yesss! You truly have a gift, Haley <3
So, I have a question for you all. Would you join a group where we each find a writing buddy? I would have each member answer a series of questions and then I would pair them up with the person who I think would be a good writing match. What do you think?
I think that, that is a great idea!!
I would totally join in if I weren't so busy, but it's an awesome idea nonetheless!
Great, Joy! I totally understand, Emilia.
I was wondering if any of you could help me out. I (like Haley) am in a writing contest and I was wondering what you thought of this story. Thanks.“It goes in your ear, not your mouth!”
Detective Amy Bradford face-palmed at the sight of her newbie partner hanging the communication device dangerously close to his open mouth. This partnership was not going to work out if he kept wanting to swallow their equipment. Whoever had told the Chief that Dylan McClaire would make a good partner to go undercover with hated her.
Dylan’s grin filled his face as he nodded and placed the small device in his ear. “This is cool! My very first stakeout.” He tapped his ear. “Hello, Amy? Amy, can you hear me?”
“Of course, Dylan, I’m sitting two feet away from you!”
“Oh, right.”
Only ten minutes into the operation and already Amy was annoyed with Dylan who was nothing more than a twenty-six year old man-child. Surviving the night with Dylan was going to be tougher than the Carson Operation she had worked on the year before where she had been stuck in the middle of the desert for a week without food or water. At least then she was alone and could think.
Amy moved to the other side of the surveillance van and checked the monitors. Ten perfect pictures from every known entrance of the building were flashing. At her side Dylan was fumbling with his gun. She breathed a breath of relief that she had taken out the bullets before giving it to him. If push came to shove, she was going to make sure she was the one with gun with him on the floor.
“How long is this going to take?”
“All night if necessary,” Amy replied. She darted her eyes from monitor to monitor. Nothing moved.
“All night? This is not what I signed up for.”
Being stuck with you isn’t what I signed up for either. Amy refocused her eyes. This mission was top priority and rookie mistakes would not be tolerated.
“You think that this van gets cable?” Dylan yelped when Amy swatted his hand away from the console. “Hey!”
“We’re here to make sure no one goes in or out of that…” she pointed at the monitors. “…building. If we’re right, Damian Templeton is keeping Shirley Brighton in there.”
Dylan huffed and sat back in his seat, kicking his feet up on the opposite side of the van. “I say we go all James Bond on them!” He karate chopped his hands in the air and made weird noises that reminded Amy of a dead lawn mower trying to start. “Ten minutes and get the girl. Assignment over.”
Amy rolled her eyes. “Okay, okay,” Dylan threw his hands in the air. “How about some undercover work. You know…in-fil-tra-tion.” His eyebrows bobbed as he broke the last word.
A voice came over their communications device. “That’s not such a bad idea.” It was the Chief. His voice came across amused.
Dylan held his hand to his ear. “Hullo, Chief.”
Amy bit her lip. “Chief?”
“You two can infiltrate the building posing as two customers.”
“Without backup?”
“I’m sending backup now. They should be arriving any minute.”
Dylan was shaking with excitement and Amy could only imagine how the van must look from the outside. Undoubtedly it was only vehicle dancing. Yeah, that wasn’t suspicious at all.
“I don’t like this, Chief,” Amy confessed.
“Hey, everything will be fine. I’ve got this.” Dylan stopped shaking and started removing his gear.
“You have your orders,” the Chief stated.
Amy groaned from the inside and proceeded to remove her gear. “Keep your bulletproof vest on,” she spat.
Dylan grinned and soon other black surveillance vans crowded around them. “You’re all clear Detective Bradford.”
“Thanks.” Amy tried to suppress a wave of nervousness that had worked its way in her stomach.
Dylan threw open the van doors and hopped out, stretching his arms above his head. “That’s better. “
Amy shut the doors behind her and walked along side Dylan into the restaurant. “I don’t know why anyone would keep a hostage in a restaurant,” Dylan whispered. “There aren’t many places to hide a victim aside from the kitchen. Hmmm…maybe we should have gone undercover as health inspectors.”
Amy opened the door darted her eyes around the room. The place wasn’t full. In fact, aside from them there were only four tables being used. Good, the fewer people the better in case things went wrong and ugly really fast.
Dylan threw his arm around Amy and said with a much louder than normal voice. “So sweetheart, where do you want to sit?”
He was so loud that everyone in the restaurant turned to stare at them. Amy felt her blood began to boil. So much for undercover work. “What are you doing?” she whispered through gritted teeth.
“Getting into character, what are you doing?”
“Trying to figure out how I’m going to kill you after this is over, assuming that Damian Templeton or any of his goons get to you first.”
A nicely dressed waitress approached them and showed them to an empty table. Amy gazed around the room and fixed her eyes on the gentleman in the corner enjoying a bowl of soup. “I see him. Damian Templeton.”
“Are you sure?” the Chief’s voice came.
“Positive, Chief.”
Dylan turned his head. “You mean the old dude in the corner that looks strangely like a mob boss.”
“He is a mob boss, Dylan.” Amy could have slapped him. “Which means his goons are never far away.”
Dylan grinned. “How exciting.”
The waitress returned with two glasses of water. “Now what can I get for you today?”
Dylan spoke up before Amy could open her mouth. “Yes, we’ll take two orders of spaghetti with extra cheese.”
Amy face-palmed again and mouthed, “What are you doing?”
While the waitress was distracted with writing down the order, Dylan mouthed back, “I’m hungry.”
The waitress left and Amy glared at him. “We’re not here to eat.”
“We’re in a restaurant,” Dylan reminded. “Besides, we’d look suspicious if we didn’t order anything.” He placed his napkin in his lap. “Now this is what I call a stakeout.”
Amy ignored him and kept her eyes on Damian making sure not to let him catch her staring. Dylan took a sip of water. “Do you really think that they’re keeping her here? The girl?”
Amy nodded.
“Well then…let’s get this over with!”
“Wait…what are you—”
Before she could finish her sentence, Dylan jumped from his seat and started waving his arms around like a three year old trying to get attention. “This is unacceptable!”
All eyes were on him and Amy grabbed at her side wear her gun was tucked under her coat. The waitress ran over. “What’s wrong, Sir.”
“What’s wrong?!” Dylan’s eyes grew wide. “What’s wrong? I’ll tell you what’s wrong. There was something swimming in the water that I drank and I swallowed it. I’m not quite sure what it was but it definitely wasn’t a lemon.”
The waitress shot Amy a pleading look. Dylan stumbled backwards toward the kitchen. “This place is filthy. I have a brother that’s a health inspector and he will be hearing about this place.”
Amy glanced at Damian who was texting on his phone. “This is unacceptable,” Dylan practically yelled as he stumbled close to Damian. Amy held her breath as Dylan picked up Damian’s spoon and spun it around in the bowl of half-eaten soup. “What do you say, Sir, do you think that this is good.”
Damian growled loud enough that Amy heard it and Dylan backed off, his hands over his head. “Hey, man, just trying to express my opinion as a concerned customer.” He whirled around at the waitress. “I’m going in the kitchen to see exactly what kind of operation you people are running here.”
Dylan turned just in time to miss Damian pulling out his gun and directing the end right at Dylan’s head. “I wouldn’t do that if I wear you.”
Amy took out her gun but concealed it under the table. She immediately regretted taking the bullets out of Dylan’s gun. Now he was completely helpless. Dylan whirled around and his eyes grew wide. Three burly men emerged from the kitchen and surrounded Dylan.
“We have a situation,” Amy whispered into her communication device.
“We see you,” the Chief’s voice reassured. “My men are getting into position. Stall.”
Dylan seemed to hear the order and declared, “Whoa, man! Now hang on. I don’t want no trouble here, okay.”
Damian stood from his seat and walked over to Dylan. “Then you should have thought of that before you started running that big mouth of yours, shouldn’t you’ve?”
Dylan gulped and nodded. “S…Sorry,” he stammered.
Damian stood to Dylan’s side and carefully pulled the communication device from his ear. “What do we have here?” He twirled it in his palm. “You a cop or something?”
“Or something…” Dylan replied. He nodded at Amy. “She’s the cop. I’m just the tagalong.”
Damian turned his attention to Amy who drew her gun at him. Her breath came and went in short puffs. Dylan had ratted her out. Dylan’s eyes found hers and he mouthed “I’m sorry.” He was going to be if they lived. She would make sure of that.
Damian kept his eyes on Amy even though his gun was still pointed at Dylan. “Where’s the girl?” Amy demanded.
“Wouldn’t you like to know.”
The other restaurant customers were hiding under the table. “No one has to get hurt, Damian,” Amy stated. “You can hand over the girl. If you cooperate then I can maybe get you a lighter sentence.”
“Nice try, Doll.”
“My men are in position,” the Chief’s voice came. Amy needed to act quickly. She could take out Damian with a single shot but that would mean Dylan would almost certainly lose his life to the hand of the goons.”
“Amy,” Dylan called. “I got this.”
“You got what?”
In a swift move Dylan grabbed the nearest goon’s head and slammed it into his knee. Damian’s gun rang out and people screamed but the bullet missed Dylan and hit the wall. With the distraction, Damian ran into the kitchen but Amy hesitated. Dylan’s eyes caught hers as he dodged a flying fist aimed at his face.
“Go, I got this.”
Uniformed cops barged in through the front door, their guns out and ready to use. Amy raced into the kitchen, stopping only to look around just in case there were more goons or any sight of the victim.
“I’ve lost him,” she reported.
A banging caused her to jump out of her skin and direct the gun to where the noise had come from. The large refrigerator. She crab-stepped her way slowly and cautiously to the industrial refrigerator and opened it. Inside the girl was shivering from the cold.
Amy placed her gun in her holster and brought the young girl into her arms. Her skin was cold. So very cold and she was crying like there was no tomorrow.
“You’re okay. You’re safe now.”
The girl was gripped Amy so tightly Amy felt her arm start tingling. “I’ve found the girl. She needs a hospital.” Lord only knew how long they had kept her in there. Placing the girl down on the ground, Amy shrugged off her jacket and wrapped it around the girl. Her eyes were wide and bloodshot with tears running down her face like a waterfall.
“Don’t worry, you’re safe now.”
Dylan barged into the kitchen rubbing his jaw. “You found her.”
He was immediately at the girl’s side checking her over. “She seems fine,” Amy replied.
“And suffering from a light case of hypothermia,” Dylan quipped. Amy picked up the girl and hugged her close.
“What about the mob boss?” Amy asked.
“I already took him out. He’s in cuffs as we speak.”
Amy gaped. “You took out the mob boss? How did you manage to do that?”
“I used my gun.”
“Hold on, the gun that wasn’t loaded?”
Dylan shook his head and grinned. “The gun that I reloaded when you were too busy staring at the monitors inside the van.”
Amy huffed and Dylan winced at the pain in his jaw. “You alright?” she asked.
“Peachy.”
“I can’t believe you took on all three goons at one time,” she laughed.
“All in a day’s work. We got the girl and took out the bad guys. James Bond Style.”
For the first time since their partnership, Amy laughed. Despite everything that had gone down earlier their mission had been completed.
“Partners?” Dylan asked offering his hand.
Amy nodded and shook it. “Partners. But the next time you think about using one of your antics, tell me first.”
Dylan smirked. “Now what would be the fun in that?”
I love the story, Joy!!! I definitely want to read more. The only thing I was suggest is to read over it a few times to check for spelling/grammar errors.
Other than that, I say that it is one awesome story!
Thanks. Yours was really good to and if you really are interested in some more of my writings then you should go to my profile page and look at the "my writings" section. There you will find one of my favorite stories i have written that won me first place in a writing competition last year. it is called Hostage Situation. I hope you like it.
I will definitely read your other stories!! Thanks for sharing!!! (And thanks for liking my story too :) May I ask what writing competitions you compete in?
I am a member of another group here on goodreads that do weekly competitions. You can look them up on my groups list. I wrote this story as an entry but i was going to give this story again to my school for a writing contest.
That is a great story Joy! I agree with Haley, I would love to read more of your stories!
I just uploaded my stories. Constructive criticism is not only appreciated but welcome. Thank you guys.
Hey guys, you all should pop over to Sweek and check out my story!https://sweek.com/story/BAcCBAhsCAUFB...
Please follow it if you have a Sweek account! Or, you should totally get one if you don't already!
They have an awesome "sweekstakes" going on!
Hey, I have a prayer request. Some of you may have heard about the Santa Rosa/Sonoma County fires yesterday and today. Well my parents were from there and we have a lot of family and friends there who have lost their homes and have no where to go. Please just keep them in your prayers! It hurts my heart thinking of all the places I've been before and how I will never see them again because of these terrible fires!! God was very fortunate and saved the chapel where my parents got married and the church they attended. It was God's grace for the church because it was surrounded by flames yet it didn't go down. So please just pray!!
Oh no Abigail. I definitely will! Everyone will be in my thoughts!
Thank you Haley! The fires are still going strong and are 0% contained. Many of our friends and family don't know if their homes are still standing or not.
:( I will spread the word to my other groups to pray for you/family/friends.
Giveaway time for an awesome book!!!!! And, an amazing interview with the amazing author, Caroline Leech!!!Here is the link: https://covertocoverandeverythinginbe...
(Just thought I would let you all know because I really do recommend the book that is being given away! ;)
