Query - YA Spec Fic

[Joseph]

Honestly my biggest concern is your genre classification. This story, being similar to The Handmaid's Tale, is going to have quite a bit of graphic rape. Is it really YA? It might be, but it's impossible to tell from the query. The first paragraph made me think adult dystopian right away, so I'd make sure you lay out the plot in a way that doesn't immediately conjure images of Atwood.

I think that's my biggest gripe. It's written well, but the genre and the connotations I make from the way you described the plot has me confused.

[Joseph]

Yeah I think that's better. Hard to say about the title without reading the book. I like it, but it depends on the story as a whole.

[Jess]

It actually says explicitly in Handmaid's Tale that what happens is not rape. I suppose you could argue that Offred is wrong/desensitized, but, something can be thematically similar to Handmaid's Tale without there being graphic rape. Oppression, not rape, was the point of the book. Reading over the plot, I think it's a great comp. I have heard that 3 is overkill, though, so you may want to take one out.

I would fit the librarian thing into the first graph, it feels like an afterthought.

I would take out the "it's a destiny..." sentence. It feels repetitive/unneeded, and the repetition of "maiden" is clunky.

You do have some comma issues. There shouldn't be one after "know."

Sounds like a really cool book!