A Thousand Splendid Suns: Part 1 (contains spoilers)

[Kathryn]

This thread is for the discussion of Part 1, the beginning through chapter 15, of A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini.

If you haven't finished this section yet, beware: this thread could contain spoilers.

[Karen]

Hooked by chapter 4, Hosseini has done it again!

What a way to begin your life, ashamed by your fathers' family without knowing, and then finding out, losing your mom, and being married to someone you don't know all by the age of 15! Mariam has such an amazing story I can't wait to learn more about her, and I do hope that she and her father come back together at some point in the story.

[Kathryn]

I suspect this may be going to be a tear-jerker! Mariam had a rather awful childhood, with such a bitter mother and then at the end of chapter 5, to find her that way...

[Mahsa]

The scene about Mariam's mother's suicide was really shocking and artistically described!I just didn't see it coming.The author is perfect!well done Khaled Hosseini!

[Kathryn]

Mahsa wrote: "The scene about Mariam's mother's suicide was really shocking and artistically described!I just didn't see it coming.The author is perfect!well done Khaled Hosseini!"

No, nor did I! And then to go from your mother's suicide to a forced marriage with a man 30 years older than you... Oh, the poor girl! And such an insensitive man - when Mariam says "I want to go home." He says, "I won't take it personally. This time." I haven't got much further than this yet, so not sure whether he's going to turn into an absolute brute, or just a negligent husband wanting someone who can cook and clean.

[Kathryn]

I've finished part 1 and I have my answer as to what sort of husband Rasheed is to Mariam - definitely a brute! What an awful environment for her to live in. And yet what options did Mariam have? She hardly seemed to know any women she could turn to, and the ones who would be most likely to help would be the ones Rasheed diapproved of because they were "modern", so even if Mariam did have any female friends, they wouldn't probably be the ones who could help her anyway. Could she return to Jalil? I doubt it, even if she could get back to Herat.

[Mahsa]

Kathryn wrote: "I've finished part 1 and I have my answer as to what sort of husband Rasheed is to Mariam - definitely a brute! What an awful environment for her to live in. And yet what options did Mariam have? S..."

yeah,definitely she didn't have any other choices,and that's the true sadness of her story.His father and his wives chose her life style and after marrying Rasheed,he chose it!

[Alicia]

Mariam's childhood was so tragic, cut off from the world in the kolba, consistently deceived by her father, living with a bitter and seemingly mentally unstable mother who ends up committing suicide the first time Mariam displays any independence. The unjustified guilt that Mariam experiences then has to take the back seat to rejection by her father and being married off to an old man she's never met. Just when it seemed that her life would start improving (developing a connection with her husband and getting pregnant), it backslides with her miscarriages (again causing unjustified guilt) and resultant physical and emotional abuse from Rasheed. And as a previous commenter mentioned, one of the worst parts of Mariam's situation is that she has no one to talk to. Everyone she ever had a connection to was back in Herat, 650km away, and she wasn't allowed to connect with the women in Kabul.

A few things that struck me:

When Nana calls her a harami (bastard), Mariam reflects on the injustice that she as the harami should suffer the consequences of the accident of her birth and not her parents. Mariam, whose "only sin is being born." Nana, Jalil, and his wives treat Mariam as though she made the mistake and needs to be punished for it. She eventually feels that "she was an illegitimate person who would never have legitimate claim to all the things other people had, things such as love, family, home, acceptance." That any child could feel that is heartbreaking.

Rasheed's explanation of why Mariam had to wear a burqa ("...a woman's face is her husband's business only.") was sort of a jolt to me as well. I know that burqas are worn, but I've never thought of it worded that way. Your face is what connects you to the world. It is a major part of your identity. It's just a cultural difference that's difficult for me to understand.

I hope that Mariam finds happiness and friendship. We'll see...

[Kathryn]

Alicia wrote: "Mariam's childhood was so tragic, cut off from the world in the kolba, consistently deceived by her father, living with a bitter and seemingly mentally unstable mother who ends up committing suicid..."

Well put, Alicia!

And I agree with the burqa - I've never known anyone who wears a burqa, but how do you connect at any level with anyone when you're wearing a burqa?? Certainly as an Australian, I can generally look at people and see if they're amused or upset or pleased or frustrated and I can respond to how they're feeling, or comment on it, but how do you know what anyone is feeling when you can't see their face?? In fact, how do you even know who they are??

It certainly seems, at least from my perspective, that the burqa is a way of control of men over women, although I can understand that women may experience a sense of freedom in not being able to be ogled by men, but it seems like there are a lot of things to sacrifice for that small piece of freedom.

[Mahsa]

Kathryn wrote: "Alicia wrote: "Mariam's childhood was so tragic, cut off from the world in the kolba, consistently deceived by her father, living with a bitter and seemingly mentally unstable mother who ends up co..."


Unfortunately the point of the whole "burqa" thing is not being able to communicate with anybody and being your man's property for ever!and that's so sad and insulting! :(

[Albany]

For Miriam, though, the burka brought with it a sense of relief when she realized people wouldn't be able to recognize her and therefore judge her. The fact she had these feeling is so heartbreaking to me, that someone could have such deep-rooted self-esteem issues. I honestly don't know how she will be able to get over all of the trauma she has lived through so far but I'm looking forward to finding out.

[Janet]

This is such a tragic story. Poor Mariam has faced intolerable abuse her entire life up to this point. I feel no sympathy at all for Jalil, who was an educated man that knew or should have known the unfairness of what he and his wives did to Mariam and Nana. Nana must have had a very hard life even before her out of wedlock pregnancy to make her so bitter. The epilepsy, in an environment where she was superstitious, must have been a torment. I realize this will be controversial, but I feel that Rasheed, truly an abuser, was a product of his environment. He too seems to be trapped by the ultra conservative dictates of that society. He must have realized how cruel he was to Mariam but was he trapped in a belief that it was culturally the proper way to act? He was very unhappy so his behavior just fulfilled his views of unfairness in life.

[Janet]

This link to another goodreads discussion provides a good discussion of Rasheed's behavior.

Was Rasheed all bad?

[Kui]

Kathryn wrote: "I suspect this may be going to be a tear-jerker! Mariam had a rather awful childhood, with such a bitter mother and then at the end of chapter 5, to find her that way..."

It is! I finished it a while back..cried through some parts it amazed me. Khaled is quite descriptive in this novel you will definitely love it. Happy reading.

[Kathryn]

Janet wrote: "This is such a tragic story. Poor Mariam has faced intolerable abuse her entire life up to this point. I feel no sympathy at all for Jalil, who was an educated man that knew or should have known th..."

I agree, Janet, that Rasheed must have been a product of his society. It is certainly often the case that people who are abused as children often become the abusers later in life. I had a quick look through your link which was interesting. I am inclined to believe that people don't tend to be all good or all bad - we've all got bits of both. Rasheed did seem to have a large portion of awfulness in him, and the "good" parts of him that we saw were only temporary, and generally preludes to him getting what he wanted - for example, being reasonable to Mariam while there was a chance she would bear him a son, but then letting his true(?) nature surface when this was obviously not going to happen.

[Kathryn]

Rissa wrote: "Kathryn wrote: "I suspect this may be going to be a tear-jerker! Mariam had a rather awful childhood, with such a bitter mother and then at the end of chapter 5, to find her that way..."

It is! I ..."

Yes, I did love it, Rissa, and finished it several days ago myself. Feel free to jump in on the threads for the other parts of the book and comment:
Part 2: https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...
Part 3: https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...
Part 4: https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/...
Or you can post some thoughts on the book in general here: https://www.goodreads.com/topic/show/..., if you prefer.