The Old Curiosity Club discussion
Our Mutual Friend
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Reading Schedule, and General Observations
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You are perfectly innocent, Kim! That's the brilliancy of it all.
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When he asked me why I did that, I told him that I did it to teach him the lesson not simply to rely on others for lazyness's sake but to make sure that what they tell you is actually right by applying to other sources.
Tristram wrote: "Too easy, Kim, way too easy. When you have developed the art of civilized malice to the degree that I have a..."Oh, Tristram. You are wicked!
LOL That is just perfect Tristram! So sorry guys, I have fallen behind here (in my caravan). I'll be making a late start on our current read, but will soon be with you all again properly :)
May Lou - I hope you are soon much better and pain-free!
John - I have a soft spot for that bio by Jane Smiley, and also like an unusual one Charles Dickens and the Great Theatre of the World by Simon Callow.
My life is a bit tempestuous at the minute. Chris is slowly getting back to driving - but very slowly everywhere, so we have to break journeys. He has to keep properly hydrated - although he has a heart monitor implanted this seems to be the main problem - and it's hard in this terrifically hot weather we are having. I hope it breaks soon!
The other thing which concerns me every waking moment is my cousin, Rebecca, who has been fighting cancer ever since her little girl was born, two years ago. Rebecca has had every treatment under the sun, including a drug trial for immunotherapy - a very new sort of chemotherapy treatment. The cancer is very aggressive and still has the upper hand. At the beginning of our stay here she had "until Christmas" but now they are saying "days". We are in touch every day. She is an amazing person - honoured by the queen this year for her work. She says she just needs time to write little stories and cards etc for all her little girl's birthdays she will miss. It is truly heart-breaking. Please keep her in your thoughts.
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Jean, did they ever find out what is wrong with Chris? I'm sorry if you told me before and I've forgotten, my mind isn't the best lately, at least for remembering anyway.
And I will be praying for Rebecca, what you've said is just heart-breaking. I have very few happy cancer stories in my life, but I will share with you one or two things that came to mind. When my mom had her cancer I had gone with her to a doctor appointment, one of those to see how treatment is going. While we were waiting for the doctor she told me she had found a lump in her throat and asked me to touch it and see if it was a swollen gland, I don't think I would have known a swollen gland from anything else, but because she asked I did it. It was awful, nothing has ever felt like that, before or after. We sat a few more minutes quietly when she asked me if we could all go to Disney World, she wanted to be there when my kids saw it. I said yes, I would call and make the reservations as soon as we got home and I still remember her words, "let's wait a little until I'm feeling better". When the doctor entered the room we found as I now expected to find that her cancer was back and had even spread. Eventually we did take the kids to Disney World, but my mom wasn't with us, one of the regrets of my life has been not taking them to Disney while my mom was still here.
A few years later a good friend, my best friend really, found she had cancer and once again the treatments and surgeries entered our lives. She had always wanted to take a trip across the country on a train, but was waiting for a "good time" to go. After her cancer had grown, no matter what they did, the doctor told her if there was anything she really wanted to do he recommended she do it in the next year. She came home saying that now she is taking that train trip, but she is going to wait until she feels a little better after the latest chemo treatments. Two months later she was dead. Now, whenever I put off something I, or someone in the family wants to do, until a better time, it pops into my head that the better time might not come.
Well, that was depressing.
Jean wrote: "So sorry guys, I have fallen behind here (in my caravan). I'll be making a late start on our current read, but will soon be with you all again properly :) ..."Oh, Jean - I'm so sorry to hear that Rebecca's not responding to the drug trial. Cancer sucks on every level, but seems especially cruel when it strikes a child or the parent of a young child. I'll keep her in my prayers.
I'm glad Chris is taking it slow. I'm not a fan of summer heat and humidity - whatever one has to do to stay hydrated and comfortable (even if it means frequent rest stops!). But it's so nice to hear that the two of you are enjoying the caravan!
(PS Good news here - I've made a turn for the better! Physical therapy is working its magic and while my arm is still really weak and I need to be careful with my activities, the pain is significantly improved! Such a relief. Just need to be careful to take it slow and continue to work on my posture so it continues to improve. Seeing the doctor Thursday and hoping he'll clear me to go back to work with some restrictions!)
Kim wrote: "I will share with you one or two things that came to mind.These stories were incredibly sad, surely, but they teach us to make the most of life while we can, which is, perhaps, one of the most important lessons we can learn. Many of us will be making a decision at some point, and your mom and your friend will pop into our minds, reminding us to not put off until tomorrow those special moments we can enjoy today. I'm grateful for that. Thank you for sharing their stories with us.
Yes Kim. You really do have to live every moment fully, and not put things off. I think it is times like this which make us realise the truth of this. Even something as small as buying our caravan was because of this "revelation". It couldn't have come at a more difficult time - we had to get a taxi here for goodness' sake - and another to get our dog to the kennels. And how on earth could we cope with being here if Chris was struck ill again - no phone signal - no car etc etc. BUT we knew full well that the chance would never come again, and that even if we left it a few hours this caravan would be snatched up. You have to "seize the day"!Chris has "vaso-vagal syncopy" with a heart component (which is why they're monitoring him). They found it out by putting him in different positions until he fainted and then looking at the computer he was linked to to see what all the lines were doing! It just means he has a tendency to faint in certain conditions, and the lightheadedness is a warning sign. Nobody guessed this because he has only ever actually fainted once in his entire life! We just need to establish his triggers properly. The biggest one is dehydration, so now he does not drink tea or coffee but lots and lots of water - and he has to have extra salt.
I have just realised what this thread is - I do apologise!
Yes Rebecca's situation is terribly sad. I find it so hard to believe, and just do what I can to keep her spirits up. It is unimaginable, what she must feel like. She made sure her little girl had a wonderful special day on her birthday this week. I cannot see the future of this at all. Rebecca's husband is a theatre designer - he tours round the country building sets and stages.
Thank you so much Mary Lou. (Your post just popped up while I was posting mine.) I am relieved to heat that you are making progress and feeling better.Whatever happens I will remain enormously proud of Rebecca. It takes guts to participate in an unknown treatment, with the resulting effects. This is her legacy to Science, our body of knowledge and future patients. She know I call her a brave pioneer :)
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For Rebecca, and Jean with her husband Chris, and Mary Lou and Kim. I think Linda and Hilary are also going through a rough patch right now as well.
I salute your strength, your vision, and your desire to live each day to its fullest. It is good to reach out towards each other and to form a supportive community.
Each day I come to our site here. You are my neighbours. I am with you in spirit. You all sustain me. Thank you.
Jean, I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin's struggles. As Mary Lou said, it's tragic when anyone has cancer, but especially the parent of a small child. None of us want to leave our children, but leaving them when they're still unable to care for themselves is heartbreaking. My thoughts and prayers are with your family during this difficult time.Thank you for sharing your stories, Kim. We get so caught up in our daily routines that we just let the days slip away and forget that next year, next month, or even next week is not promised to us. I am guilty of this and have been on a personal quest to start realizing some lifelong dreams that have been back-burnered for a "better time," and your stories have really touched me and reinforced this in my mind. I'm so sorry for your loss of your mom and your friend, as well.
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And in future when he ignores your sound advice and does something totally stupid or irresponsible, you set him up for it by lying to him in the first place. Oops!
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Excellent! Hope the recovery continues apace.
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Very well said. We are a not just a discussion group, but a caring community of good friends.
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Funny in a way, but I was thinking of my high school English class. By the time of my senior year, I had made it to the honors class. This was a thrill for me. I was trying to remember the books we studied in that class. There did not seem to be anything "thematically," but the instructor selected these:Gulliver's Travels
Dante's Inferno
Great Expectations
Candide by Voltaire
Animal Farm
Thank you so much Peter, Cindy, and Everyman. You all supported me so much when I lost my wonderful brother and I hesitated to post this... but we cannot choose when heartbreak will happen in our lives. Some poor souls lose their entire families in a single tragic event.Sharing, and knowing she is in others' hearts and prayers, helps us all :) Her photo is in my photos. I have another lovely one of her at Buckingham Palace last week. She was determined to get there when the Queen invited her to her garden party, and even though her balance was all shot to pieces by the whole brain radiotherapy, she managed it in a wheelchair.
As I get older I have more time for the Queen. She is a constant, and good to have a distraction and focus from all the party politics. She has functions such as this annual garden party, to honour those who have done some especial service for the country, and is very good with individuals, attending scenes of tragedies etc.
Kim - your story made me laugh so, although come to think of it I'm not sure if it's a comedy or a tragedy :/
Kim wrote: "It thought I'd share that earlier this evening my niece came to look over my Agatha Christie books. After spending some time looking through them she made her selection, the length of the book didn..."Oh my... looks like the public school system needs to teach kids how to date things. Of course, kids today (kids today? My inner curmudgeon is coming out!) can't read an analog clock, address an envelope, or write in cursive. Why should they know when the 18th century was (and that it doesn't mean the 1800s!)? Kim - which book did she choose? I can't wait to hear the next installment of this story! But how wonderful that she uses you as her library (has she ever set foot in a public library, I wonder? It amazes me how many people haven't, but that's a story for another time...). I hope your example will help her catch the reading bug and it will be a bond you can share as she progresses.
Jean wrote: "As I get older I have more time for the Queen. She is a constant, and good to have a distraction and focus from all the party politics...."What an honor for Rebecca. I hope she was able to enjoy the day, and that there are lots of photos of the event for her daughter to treasure some day.
I often wonder about one of my personal contradictions -- I'm a proud American who disdains the idea of monarchies, and yet I'm utterly enamored with the British royal family. Why? Part of it is that I'm a traditionalist, I suppose. But I think you really put your finger on it, Jean. They personify Great Britain without all the politics, and give the populace a focus for their national pride that brings people together. I can't think of anything similar here in the States. Sadly, the closest we probably come is the Superbowl, but even that has people choosing sides. (I'm on the side of watching a movie and avoiding football at all costs!)
But as much as I love the history, pomp, and national pride that is centered around the royal family, I don't know if I could justify so many tax dollars going to uphold the tradition. It's a conundrum!
Speaking of which, I am just hearing that Prince Philip is hospitalized. I wish him well.
Since someone on Goodreads said that some Prince or other was 35, and you have now told me about Prince Philip being in hospital, I think you are far more taken with the Royal family than I, Mary Lou!Even though I can now see the benefit to having a head of State who is apolitical (all the recent events in the US, and the terrible split of ordinary people into one party or another, have convinced me of this) somehow I can never get interested in the Royal weddings, babies etc.
Jean wrote: "Since someone on Goodreads said that some Prince or other was 35, and you have now told me about another being in hospital, I think you are far more taken with the Royal family than I, Mary Lou! eV..."Well, I'm not following them on FB or Twitter, or collecting People magazine issues that feature them on the cover, lol! They just happened to mention Prince Philip being hospitalized on the news as I was typing. A timely coincidence. :-)
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Kim wrote: "I wonder if there is a way that we can stay good old United States but not have an election every four years, a dozen years would be fine with me. If I never have to listen to the terrible battles ..."Can we meet in the middle and ask for a shorter campaigning cycle and do it like the French? ;)
Re: Kim's stories that remind us that tomorrow is not a promise, and that we should make the most of today, I came across this little passage today in chapter 15. I share it here because it's appropriate to our conversation, but is NOT a spoiler as far as OMF's story line goes. A few old chairs with patchwork covers, under which the more precious stuff to be preserved had slowly lost its quality of colour without imparting pleasure to any eye, stood against the wall."
See? Even Dickens knew that we should enjoy things today and not save them for "special" occasions. :-)
I love that observation. So poignant. Thanks for posting it, Mary Lou.
Mary Lou wrote: "Linda - sounds like you and I are leading parallel lives right now. I'm sorry to hear about Maggie.....So that's me, having a bit of a pity party. Waaaaaah! I should be ashamed, knowing I still have it better than so many people in this world."
Hi Mary Lou,
Wow, we are indeed living parallel lives! I'm so sorry to hear of all your troubles! And poor Lily, I'm sorry you are going through the loss of a beloved pet too. I feel the same, though, that I am airing too many of my woes and so many people have it much worse than myself at any given time, but sometimes it feels good just to be able to talk about it all and get it off your chest. And this group has been such a great support system.
Well, so now here it is over 2 weeks later from my last post and I have not caught up to the group. I have read chapters 1-4, but have not read through the posts or commented yet. Last week life threw my family a couple more curve balls, one being that my son's pet hamster, Ted, passed away, so I helped my son go through the burial process of his little buddy. He was pretty torn up about it, but now Maggie has been joined by Ted in the back of our property. Meanwhile, my husband and I were busy organizing and making games for my daughter's birthday party this past Sunday (of course, the hottest day of the year - 95!), I was swamped with work trying to review and finish up two manuscripts for submission, and through all this is when I treated myself to a trip to Urgent Care, which then sent me to the ER, because I was in so much pain one morning that I could not do anything but lie on the bed in agony, so I called my husband at work to rescue me. The diagnosis is kidney stones, so I've had that worry in the back of my head for the past week now. Fun fun! Oh, and my parents were here for a visit for 3 days, which usually adds a stress all its own. I type it out here and I suppose it just seems like "life" that everyone deals with. But I guess I'm used to much less drama than this, especially all within a week. :)
So, I've barely read anything this past week, except to finish up an audiobook that didn't require discussion. This Monday, though, felt like a fresh start as the party is over, both manuscripts are in the pipeline, our remaining pets seem healthy (knock on wood), and my husband has his truck back so no more driving around more than needed. And so, I'm slowly getting back to reading and catching up, but I'm easing into it.
Anyway, thanks for listening Fellow Curiosities. I am still here, no matter how far in the background I tend to be lately. Also, thank you for your kind words about Maggie, her loss has indeed been tough.
I'm so sorry to hear all this, Linda. It does seem sometimes as though life's problems pile on top of each other, and then something relatively small seems like the last straw, because of all the other ongoing major problems ... I do hope life settles down for you, and that you soon feel a lot better.
Cindy wrote: "I have to admit to getting some satisfaction from being able to deduct points for answers that match the movie and not the book."Kim wrote: "I was pleased to find that my seventeen year old niece "had" to read a Dickens novel, David Copperfield. She seemed to be dreading it, and my telling her what a wonderful book it was didn't seem to help. A few weeks later I asked my sister how my niece did with the book and she said, "terrible, she finally gave up and gave it to me to read for her". Then I asked her how she liked it and she said she got about twenty pages in and quit. I asked who in the family managed to read the book and she told me, "oh, we just watched the movie"."
Oh dear. This entire book versus movie and Cliff Notes discussion is disheartening.
I've been reading to my kids, stocking a big bookcase of kids' books, and making trips to the library a priority since they were little, and of course I'm hoping that a love of reading will come of it. Pertaining to this hope, I have a story to tell...
Yesterday I was so happy of something my son told me. So, my kids now both go to a day camp for the summer at one of the local elementary schools. My son is now in the "tween" group and is required to bring a book with him every day because that group gets personal reading time each day. Anyway, I guess a couple days a week the younger kids are read aloud to by one of the teachers. One day my son asked if instead of "such and such" book (a younger kids book), could the teacher instead read Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, which is the book that my son has been reading and bringing to camp every day. But then, my son actually asked if he could read aloud to the kids. So although my son was partially through the book, he started at page one and read aloud to the entire camp. :) I felt so proud, first for him loving a book so much that he asked if the teacher could read it, and second for volunteering to read it aloud himself.
Cindy wrote: "I reposted a picture on Facebook that I heartily agree with. It was a sign outside of a bookstore and it read: "If they don't want books for Christmas, do they really deserve any gifts at all?" I would have to say no, they do not! "Ha ha! I love it. :)
Kim wrote: "I was just sitting here feeling sorry for myself (a little) because the pain in my neck is so awful the last few weeks that I now find it hard to sleep. I called the doctor for a pain management injection, but that won't be until Wednesday"Oh no, I'm sorry Kim! I hope you were able to get your injection and that your pain has subsided a bit. Having a pain that makes it difficult to sleep is the worst. :(
Your Agatha Christie story was somehow both sad and funny.
Tristram wrote: "Once, my son had to give a presentation about an animal at school, and instead on doing proper research he asked me, and so I told him a cock-and-bull-story about the ostrich not being a bird at all but a mammal, ..... My son scooped it all up and made a talk from it, and the result was bewilderment on the part of the teacher, and on that of my son."Ha! Oh Tristram. What a terrible thing to do, but I'm laughing and I'm sure it's a lesson that your son will never forget. :D
Jean wrote: "The other thing which concerns me every waking moment is my cousin, Rebecca, who has been fighting cancer ever since her little girl was born, two years ago....The cancer is very aggressive and still has the upper hand. At the beginning of our stay here she had "until Christmas" but now they are saying "days"."Oh Jean, this is just heartbreaking. Just thinking of going through cancer treatment and such short timeline at that is awful, but it breaks my heart knowing that your cousin has such a young daughter. :( She will be in my thoughts.
Kim wrote: "I have very few happy cancer stories in my life, but I will share with you one or two things that came to mind."
Cancer is horrible. :( I've had my fair share of cancer stories that hit close to home too, for some reason I seem to know a lot (more than I should, I feel!) of people who have struggled and then passed on from brain cancers. For instance, two coworkers, and each had the same type. One was the husband of a good friend of mine, and at the time their youngest child was only 4 years old. Luckily they made it to Disneyland, but it all hit so close to home it was all so very hard to go through. And you're right - the thing to remember is that life is short and one never knows what may strike from one day to the next.
Peter wrote: "Each day I come to our site here. You are my neighbours. I am with you in spirit. You all sustain me. Thank you."Thank you, Peter. :)
Jean wrote: "Chris has "vaso-vagal syncopy" with a heart component (which is why they're monitoring him). ..... We just need to establish his triggers properly. The biggest one is dehydration, so now he does not drink tea or coffee but lots and lots of water - and he has to have extra salt."Hi Jean. I remember you mentioning awhile back about some health problems with Chris and I'm glad they were able to finally figure out a diagnosis for him. It sounds like you guys are well on the way to figuring out the triggers, so finger crossed. You are both in my thoughts.
Kim wrote: "I asked her what the sudden interest in Agatha Christie is and she said she is supposed to read an old book for school, one from "like" the 18th century, so she picked Agatha Christie because she likes the idea of a mystery. "lol!
Jean wrote: "I'm so sorry to hear all this, Linda. It does seem sometimes as though life's problems pile on top of each other, and then something relatively small seems like the last straw..."Thank you, Jean!
And now I must get back to what needs to be done aside from popping in at the Curiosity Club. I have missed so much by not checking in regularly. Going through just this one thread of posts took quite awhile, and I realize that I'm not even at the Six Jolly Fellowship Porters! I will come by for a refreshment soon. :)
Thanks you for your thoughts Linda. Rebecca is hanging in there, and messaging me - several times a day sometimes. The medics are amazed! :) We live in hope ... sometimes people defeat cancer despite all predictions. I should see her tomorrow, if her procedures allow it, but her husband and little girl must have priority.Chris is making good progress too, and driving on the slower roads without problems. We got to the caravan in stages, avoiding motorways and going through quaint little villages instead.
My life is so topsy turvy at the moment that I am finding it hard to settle to reading, but I fully intend to read the current book with you!! I'm just not quite there yet.
Thank you everybody for your friendship and support :)
Yes Jean, sometimes the predictions are wrong! I hope you are able to make your visit with Rebecca tomorrow.As to driving through the quaint villages instead of the motorways, sometimes that's the best way to travel. Good to hear that Chris is making progress. :)
I understand about finding it hard to settle down to read. At times I would actually go to bed early with the intention of reading, but then just find myself staring at the pages with all sorts of stuff running through my head. Perhaps when you start OMF, then I'll be right beside you. We can be catch-up buddies. :)
This is, indeed, the "misery loves company" crowd! I'm sorry to read about the hardships many of you are going through, and I'm so glad we have the wonderful group for personal support, as well as sharing our love of Dickens! Hopefully things will settle down for each of us but, if they don't, isn't it comforting to know we have friends all over the world who are thinking of us and wishing us well? I'm grateful to all of you for that. And while some problems are less serious compared to some others, they all have an impact on the person going through them. This road we travel can get very bumpy at times!
Linda wrote: "I felt so proud, first for him loving a book so much that he asked if the teacher could read it, and second for volunteering to read it aloud himself."This is a great story, Linda. It's been 20 years since Harry Potter was released, and I'm glad to hear it's still working its magic on young readers. JK Rowling certainly made some magic when it came to getting children (and some adults!) to read. I'm so glad your son has discovered a book he loves, and that he's sharing it with others!
My daughter works in a dementia unit of a nursing home. Today she was telling me that every week a grandmother takes her two grandchildren (early elementary age) to the library to pick out a few books, then they come and read them to the dementia patients, who just love it. What a wonderful gift that grandmother is giving all of those people, including her grandchildren!
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The lesson, though, may be that Dad lies, so when he tells me smoking is bad for me I won't believe that, either.
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Are you suggesting that there are things that are more important than popping in at the Curiosity Club? What a strange idea. I can't get my head around it.
Everyman wrote: "Are you suggesting that there are things that are more important than popping in at t..."It's certainly a tonic for me, Everyman!
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Wow, that's very impressing - reading from a book in front of so many other kids! I can imagine how proud you must have been of your son!
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The lesson, though, may be that Dad lies, so when he tells me smoking is bad for me I won't believe that, either."
Hmm, but now my son is nine years old and far too intelligent to assume that his Dad may always be telling the truth ... I mean he has already seen my tell a fib to someone for the sake of politeness.
The Old Curiosity Club
Books mentioned in this topic
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (other topics)Charles Dickens and the Great Theatre of the World (other topics)
Searching for John Ford (other topics)
Charles Dickens: His Tragedy and Triumph (other topics)
Moo (other topics)
More...
Authors mentioned in this topic
Jane Smiley (other topics)Simon Callow (other topics)
Too easy, Kim, way too easy. When you have developed the art of civilized malice to the degree that I have a..."
I love that idea! I'm not sure I love the thought of my sister's fury falling on me, but I love the idea. :-)