Need To Make My Blurb Better

[Carrie]

Hello, everyone!

I'm trying to make my book's blurb shorter and snappier. I've been told that my current one is too long and was reminded of people's short attention spans. So, with those things in mind (and keywords people search for on Amazon), I set about reworking it. What do you think?

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In her thirteenth life, Aven Dovenelle is truly happy. She's settled into the now witchcraft-friendly Salem where she has opened her own shop and made great friends--there's even a possibility of love.

Despite her contentment, the truth of Aven's existence haunts her. She is cursed to live life after life, with all the memories of her horrific past. Hope may come in the form of a mysterious white raven, who has shadowed Aven through each of her lives.

But a malevolent force from Aven's past isn't finished with her. Driven by vengeance and hate, his attack will bring Aven to her knees.

The cost of her happiness and freedom could prove too high as Aven uncovers the truth about her curse and that dark magick lingers.

--- OR even shorter ---

Despite being content in her thirteenth life, the truth of Aven’s existence haunts her. She is cursed to live life after life, with all the memories of her horrific past. When the elusive white raven, who has shadowed Aven through each of her lives, finally reveals itself, it may hold the secret to her salvation.

But a malevolent force from Aven’s past isn’t finished with her. Driven by his hatred of the witch, his attack will bring Aven to her knees.

The cost of her happiness and freedom could prove too high as Aven uncovers the shocking truth about her curse and that dark magick lingers.

---

Thanks!

[Sam (Rescue Dog Mom, Writer, Hugger)]

Hi Carrie! Glad you're in this group, too!!

Okay, I read your shorter blurb first and must admit I prefer the longer one because of the first paragraph. The "witch-friendly" town where she has her own shop really draws me in. Hope this helps. Hugs!!

[Carrie]

Thank, Sam! I do like that also and am gonna leave it in.

[Eldon]

What do you think of this Carrie? Just some minor changes

In her thirteenth life, Aven Dovenelle is happy. She's settled into the now witchcraft-friendly Salem where she has opened her own shop and made great friends--there's even a possibility of love.

Despite her contentment, the truth of Aven's existence haunts her. She is cursed to live life after life, with all the memories of her horrific past. Hope may come as a mysterious white raven, who has shadowed Aven through each of her lives.

But a malevolent force from Aven's past isn't finished with her. Driven by vengeance and hate, his attack will bring Aven to her knees.

The cost of her happiness and freedom could prove too high as Aven uncovers the truth about her curse and that dark magick lingers.

Hope it helps!!