Young Writers discussion
Dystopia
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One of my favorite new ideas...*WARNING:WEIRD AND KINDA CLICHE*
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Hmmm... I like the idea, but... I feel like there are a few things that could be slightly better. I mean, I'm not so sure what the whole plot is, but I'll still try and help you with improving it.First I'm going to ask a ton of questions,
Ian has wings and can breathe underwater, why? Like why did they experiment on these kids? What were they trying to do? What kind of future is it? Are they going to kill the kids so they could hide their experiments or is it because the kids were going crazy and getting too dangerous? What kind of place is it set in? A hospital or what? Is it set in the US or somewhere else? And why is he called Monstef 54?
And that's the end of my questions.
Now, while Ian is trying to live a normal life, maybe the government or whoever could be searching for him. And maybe he could met someone and fell in love with them.
Otherwise, it sounds pretty good. I would love to see it when you write it!
:D I hope I somehow helped you"
You did help. :)I'll try to answer your questions:
1) The government was trying to find a cure for a disease, and it went wrong.
2) A really bad future, I don't know, post-apocalyptic.
3) Because the people were uninformed, and the government wanted to keep it that way as the kids got older.
4) A prison in what was the US.
5) The government considers the kids monsters, and they gave each kid a random number.
Oh yeah, I like your ideas. I plan to use them. :)
1) The government was trying to find a cure for a disease, and it went wrong.
2) A really bad future, I don't know, post-apocalyptic.
3) Because the people were uninformed, and the government wanted to keep it that way as the kids got older.
4) A prison in what was the US.
5) The government considers the kids monsters, and they gave each kid a random number.
Oh yeah, I like your ideas. I plan to use them. :)
This sounds like a really good idea and everything, but I have just one question. What makes this story different from the Maximum Ride series?
I haven't read those (yet!), so I'm not sure. :)
You know what, I know what Roxanne means.But, I think Maximum Ride was a little different, but I dunno, I've never read them.
Mod
Well, the Maximum Ride series also involves children being experimented on who then escape from their captors––and the main characters also have wings and can breathe underwater ... so that's where the main similarities are. Maybe you could change what powers your character has? I don't think the problem is the experimentation part necessarily; it's kind of a cliché, but it can be done well. It's just that the specific powers you chose are a bit uncannily similar and might make people think you're plagiarizing (even though I know that's not your intention!). So yeah, it might be a good idea to change that one detail. Hope that helps!
What if the person Ian fell in love with was actually a government operative attempting to bring him back to the lab so they could kill him and dispose of his body properly.
The plot is that in the future, children are captured to be experimented on; the book is from the POV of one, named Ian. The character has wings and can breathe underwater because of the experiments, and is very traumatized/crazy, but then finds out "they" plan to kill every one of the children and so he frees them all. Chaos ensues, and most of the children are killed anyway by the general population. That's half the book. The next half is about the MC attempting to live a normal life. The quote: I was called Ian, once, but now I'm not. Now I'm simply Monster 54.
What can be done to improve the idea? :)