Dysfunction Kills

[Sara]

So what is dysfunction? The word means that it does not work right, the way the unit functions is not healthy; a dysfunctional family is a family that just does not work right-the unit is not healthy because at least one family member is routinely, and systematically harming at least one other family member; or worse, everyone in the family is behaving in a damaging way. I hope this does not sound familiar to you, but if it does not, then your family is the exception and to be commended.

A few of the behaviors that tend to be universal among families that are dysfunctional:
Too much fighting,
Constant conflict interspersed with rollercoaster fun times
Conditional love versus Unconditional love,
Too much control by one member over another,
Fear to speak an opinion, shaming, blaming and accusing versus discussing,
Fragile truces that can erupt in warfare at the dropping of a pin,
Negative & tense atmosphere versus a positive relaxed atmosphere
Denial and minimization (From everyone)
Lack of assertiveness and honesty
Double standards and hypocrisy
Fragile bonds of trust fueled by promise breaking
Conflicted love-hate relationships
Scape-goating one family member while idealizing another (Family Roles)
Emotional banks full of negative emotions: shame, guilt, anger, hurt