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So What (Was I doing again?)
message 14451:
by
Hunter (Totally NOT a communist ☭)
(new)
Jun 19, 2018 09:05AM
Countless times. I've also had dreams that made me so upset I cried and was happy to realize it was a dream
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☣ ᕮɱƿՐ૯ςς S૯Րค ☣ wrote: "Ever have a dream that felt really real and it was great, then you woke up and realized it wasn't real and that made you even more depressed than you were before you went to sleep?":( Unfortunately. I’m guessing that means today hasn’t been better?
Everytime I have a dream like that, my mom is waking me up from it lol. It makes me cry. What do you mean "Non Tragic"?
Well nothing exactly bad has happened other than the dream thing, but I'm still not feeling great. I naturally woke from mine and it frustrated me >.<
Non tragic in that nobody died.
Well I’m glad nothing bad besides the dream has happened, but I’m sorry you still aren’t feeling great. :(
Thanks :/ I really don't know what to do about it anymore because even if I feel better for a while I'm sure it will just be a matter of time before I feel bad not great again.
Well that’s different lol. Is your sister pulling a prank on you by chance? Putting butter close to your clothes or something?
No that can't be it haha None of my sisters would ever think of that because they're not the pranking type. But it's super weird lol
☣ ᕮɱƿՐ૯ςς S૯Րค ☣ wrote: "~Nightingale~ wrote: "Mine is avocado...gross."You poor child."
Right? May needs something better lol.
I love that about February too. xD
I think I'm feeling a little better than I did this morning. Well a lot better. But I'm still dreading work tomorrow because I don't know how I'll turn out.
The same feeling I've been dealing with for the past week or so now. The overall crappiness and insecurity and blah.
I don't know. I don't even know why it's bothering me so much now. I mean, I was looking at cars and I thought "I can't wait to finally have my own car so that I can go places on my own without having to strictly schedule it" and my next thought was "will it really make a difference? It's not like you have friends or a social life".
You don't need to have friends to travel, though. You can do things that make you happy when you're on your own, and find yourself a bit more.
I agree with Evelin. Even though I have friends here in Nashville our schedules rarely sync to be able to hang out so I go do stuff by myself all the time. It’s actually nice to have that alone time sometimes. ^-^
Which is why it's pretty ridiculous how easily my mind goes there. And just an hour earlier I was mentally planning a solitary graduation trip because I didn't get one for high school.
I'd probably still spend a lot of time at home after I can drive myself. I'd likely go out to a tabletop group for some RPG but other than that...eh.
☣ ᕮɱƿՐ૯ςς S૯Րค ☣ wrote: "Which is why it's pretty ridiculous how easily my mind goes there. And just an hour earlier I was mentally planning a solitary graduation trip because I didn't get one for high school."Honestly that sounds fun to me lol. Trips I hate with large groups.
And really it usually feels ridiculous but then the girl I work with told me that she felt the same at around my age. Where like you're getting older and you're technically an adult and you realize that so many people around you have friends and apartments with roommates or are getting married and stuff and you still live at home with no promise of your situation changing any time soon. It gets depressing, seriously. And the feeling comes and it goes and with all the awfulness that's been going on in my house lately it feels like a trap that I can't get out of. Eventually, I'll get a higher paying job or at least I hope, but seriously I don't even think I'm that good at what I'm going to school for so that feels hopeless too. Nobody wants an incompetent web designer that can't figure out a freaking gradient half the time. Maybe it's the built up stress an exhaustion, but I really just feel overall stuck.
~Nightingale~ wrote: "☣ ᕮɱƿՐ૯ςς S૯Րค ☣ wrote: "Which is why it's pretty ridiculous how easily my mind goes there. And just an hour earlier I was mentally planning a solitary graduation trip because I didn't get one for ..."It could be, but I have to decide where I'd want to go and for how long and all that. I want to go far, but not like too far. Like, Canada occurred to me (or at least Niagra Falls) but that may be too far considering I'm not even old enough to rent a car so I'd have to drive.
I wish I had something I could sya to cheer you up besides "I understand your pain because I have it too" but...that's all I've got. I guess all we can do is wait and see where life will take us.
And I feel crappy for saying all of this because it's all psychological. I feel bad that people have to remind me that it will be okay and that I'm cared about. I literally feel like a bother and I'm not saying this to get people to say it's not so. It's just how I feel and I'm not sure if there's a way to help that. So I don't need responses really. I mean, I like them but asking for them seems more pathetic.
Aaaand I just missed my mouth, effectively pouring cold water down my shirt. Just wonderful, really.
I'm the same way, dear...I understand everything you're going through. And it's terrible. But we have people who DO care for us, who will have our backs no matter what..and we have to hold these people close to our hearts.
I think everyone goes through that feeling of “I’m bothering everyone” and it is a hard thing to make your mind shut up about. I feel that way so often and I try my best to push through, but it can drag you down into depression in the blink of an eye. I know you said you weren’t saying it so people would say it isn’t so, but it isn’t. It’s human nature to feel that way in my opinion and the feeling sucks. I wish I could make it go away for you.
It's that way for me because I've had the misfortune of various people in my life treating me like dirt and getting snippy over the tiniest things...
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