Beta Reader Group discussion
Covers, Blurbs, 1st Line, Query
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Query help - YA Dystopian
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It would probably be better to add this to your previous thread, that way people could easily look back at earlier versions.I saw a few odd words/phrases, typos, missing commas, etc., but think it does a pretty good job.
It might be a little on the long side, but I think if you tighten up the prose you have you'll be in good shape.
Keith wrote: "It would probably be better to add this to your previous thread, that way people could easily look back at earlier versions.I saw a few odd words/phrases, typos, missing commas, etc., but think i..."
Okay, thank you, Keith.
Always so helpful :)
You clearly outlined the stakes and the problem and who the protagonist is. This is a good query. If you want to be extra secure in it, you could always run it to a copyeditor - it wouldn't cost much as this is less than 1000 words.
Juan wrote: "You clearly outlined the stakes and the problem and who the protagonist is. This is a good query. If you want to be extra secure in it, you could always run it to a copyeditor - it wouldn't cost mu..."Yes, I definitely will.
Thank you Juan!
Samantha wrote: "Juan wrote: "You clearly outlined the stakes and the problem and who the protagonist is. This is a good query. If you want to be extra secure in it, you could always run it to a copyeditor - it wou..."Thank you SO much Natasha. Your comments are fantastic. With your help, I think I'm getting there. :)
I've had another attempt at my query, and I would love any feedback.
Thank you!
Set in a future where society is segregated into two precincts, the Southerners are slaves to the Antidote and consequently the Northerners that produce it.
Mia Sawyer, a daring sixteen-year-old Southerner, with an impulsive streak that could get her in trouble, dreams of one day living free of the North. Instead, she is forced to endure slave-like conditions in return for a weekly dose of the Antidote. But when the Antidote fails to combat the Vermune virus, and her father dies, Mia is determined to find out why. In her search to uncover answers, she is led to The Movement, an underground Southern rebel group determined to regain control of their lives and free themselves from the North.
After a number of chance encounters with a boy from the North, a forbidden romance begins to blossom. Seizing the opportunity this connection could provide, The Movement leadership quickly bring Mia into the fold. It isn’t long, however, before doubts about the boy’s true motivations come into play.
Mia’s world is complicated further when her best friend is struck with the virus. Now she must decide between putting not only her life but many others on the line. Can she trust the Northerner and rely on his help to save not only her best friend but her entire precinct?
THE MOVEMENT is a Young Adult, Dystopian novel, complete at 98,000 words. (Personalize here)
Thank you for your time and consideration.