it's personal discussion
Journals : Q-S
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RECKLESS WRITING
Should I stay,Or should I go?
Should I fix myself,
Or should I break apart?
How do I fix myself?
I need some help.
I don't know who to ask,
Or what will help.
I'm just sitting here,
Hating the world,
Hating myself,
and wishing I could've been more.
You're not perfect.You're not flawless.
And you'll never be,
But you already know that, don't you?
You have been given chances over and over again,
People believed in you.
I thought that maybe I'd given up on you too soon,
But I hadn't.
You repeated your mistakes after so many opportunities.
To the people you called friends, you just hurt.
And they kept forgiving you until
There was nothing left to forgive.
You are far too broken for any of us to help you,
Only you can save yourself now and yet you don't.
You make promises, beg for forgiveness,
And then nothing.
You don't change.
I had hoped so much that you had changed,
That you would change.
I gave up on you quicker than most others,
Because I got tired easily of being hurt, of being betrayed
And I didn't want to give you the satisfaction of having any control on me.
Even now I'm hoping that you'll wake up,
And realize how much of an ass you've been.
And I'll be honest, you fooled me.
I could've sworn you would change.
I once tried to help you,
I failed and blamed myself,
But it wasn't even my fault yet you made me feel that way,
It's you're fault.
Erin, I actually saw your Camp NaNoWriMo and I decided to sign in to my own, I quickly posted my story I had partially written and a goal of 25,000. I know I'm behind as the contest has already begin but oh well.
That's great that you've started even if it's late! My first ever actual NaNoWriMo I started in the middle of the month and it helped me improve my writing a lot, even though I didn't get to my goal. I hope Camp NaNoWriMo can help you in that way too!
Thanks, so now I just need to make sure I find the time to actually write, lol, but yeah, seems like a great website! I'm guessing you're currently making a NaNoWriMo now?
No problem. Haha yeah, that's part of my problem too. Well actually I'm doing Camp NaNoWriMo right now. There's NaNoWriMo which is November and then Camp NaNoWriMo which is April and July. I feel like I didn't answer that question as it should have been answered but that's whatever, I guess.My goal was originally to do 20,000 words, but then I changed it to 50 hours because it seems like I'm doing more editing than actual writing.
(For my future reference)THE BLAKE SNYDER BEAT SHEET (aka BS2)
Opening Image – A visual that represents the struggle & tone of the story. A snapshot of the main character’s problem, before the adventure begins.
Set-up – Expand on the “before” snapshot. Present the main character’s world as it is, and what is missing in their life.
Theme Stated (happens during the Set-up) – What your story is about; the message, the truth. Usually, it is spoken to the main character or in their presence, but they don’t understand the truth…not until they have some personal experience and context to support it.
Catalyst – The moment where life as it is changes. It is the telegram, the act of catching your loved-one cheating, allowing a monster onboard the ship, meeting the true love of your life, etc. The “before” world is no more, change is underway.
Debate – But change is scary and for a moment, or a brief number of moments, the main character doubts the journey they must take. Can I face this challenge? Do I have what it takes? Should I go at all? It is the last chance for the hero to chicken out.
Break Into Two (Choosing Act Two) – The main character makes a choice and the journey begins. We leave the “Thesis” world and enter the upside-down, opposite world of Act Two.
B Story – This is when there’s a discussion about the Theme – the nugget of truth. Usually, this discussion is between the main character and the love interest. So, the B Story is usually called the “love story”.
The Promise of the Premise – This is the fun part of the story. This is when Craig Thompson’s relationship with Raina blooms, when Indiana Jones tries to beat the Nazis to the Lost Ark, when the detective finds the most clues and dodges the most bullets. This is when the main character explores the new world and the audience is entertained by the premise they have been promised.
Midpoint – Dependent upon the story, this moment is when everything is “great” or everything is “awful”. The main character either gets everything they think they want (“great”) or doesn’t get what they think they want at all (“awful”). But not everything we think we want is what we actually need in the end.
Bad Guys Close In – Doubt, jealousy, fear, foes both physical and emotional regroup to defeat the main character’s goal, and the main character’s “great”/“awful” situation disintegrates.
All is Lost – The opposite moment from the Midpoint: “awful”/“great”. The moment that the main character realizes they’ve lost everything they gained, or everything they now have has no meaning. The initial goal now looks even more impossible than before. And here, something or someone dies. It can be physical or emotional, but the death of something old makes way for something new to be born.
Dark Night of the Soul – The main character hits bottom, and wallows in hopelessness. The Why hast thou forsaken me, Lord? moment. Mourning the loss of what has “died” – the dream, the goal, the mentor character, the love of your life, etc. But, you must fall completely before you can pick yourself back up and try again.
Break Into Three (Choosing Act Three) – Thanks to a fresh idea, new inspiration, or last-minute Thematic advice from the B Story (usually the love interest), the main character chooses to try again.
Finale – This time around, the main character incorporates the Theme – the nugget of truth that now makes sense to them – into their fight for the goal because they have experience from the A Story and context from the B Story. Act Three is about Synthesis!
Final Image – opposite of Opening Image, proving, visually, that a change has occurred within the character.
THE END
Some Prompts:1. Outside the Window: What’s the weather outside your window doing right now? If that’s not inspiring, what’s the weather like somewhere you wish you could be?
2. The Unrequited love poem: How do you feel when you love someone who does not love you back?
3. The Vessel: Write about a ship or other vehicle that can take you somewhere different from where you are now.
4. Dancing: Who’s dancing and why are they tapping those toes?
5. Food: What’s for breakfast? Dinner? Lunch? Or maybe you could write a poem about that time you met a friend at a cafe.
6. Eye Contact: Write about two people seeing each other for the first time.
7. The Rocket-ship: Write about a rocket-ship on it’s way to the moon or a distant galaxy far, far, away.
8. Dream-catcher: Write something inspired by a recent dream you had.
9. Animals: Choose an animal. Write about it!
10. Friendship: Write about being friends with someone.
11. Dragon: Envision a dragon. Do you battle him? Or is the dragon friendly? Use descriptive language.
12. Greeting: Write a story or poem that starts with the word “hello”.
13. The Letter Poem: Write a poem using words from a famous letter or a letter from your own collection.
14. The found poem: Read a book and circle some words on a page. Use those words to craft a poem. Alternatively you can cut out words and phrases from magazines.
15. Eavesdropper: Create a poem, short story, or journal entry about a conversation you’ve overheard.
16. Addict: Everyone’s addicted to something in some shape or form. What are things you can’t go without?
17. Dictionary Definition: Open up a dictionary to a random word. Define what that word means to you.
18. Cleaning: Hey, even writers and creative artists have to do housework sometimes. Write about doing laundry, dishes, and other cleaning activities.
19. Great Minds: Write about someone you admire and you thought to have had a beautiful mind.
20. Missed Connections: If you go to Craigslist, there is a “Missed Connections” section where you can find some interesting story lines to inspire your writing.
21. Foreclosure: Write a poem or short story about someone who has lost or is about to lose their home.
22. Smoke, Fog, and Haze: Write about not being able to see ahead of you.
23. Sugar: Write something so sweet, it makes your teeth hurt.
24. Numbers: Write a poem or journal entry about numbers that have special meaning to you.
25. Dread: Write about doing something you don’t want to do.
26. Fear: What scares you a little? What do you feel when scared? How do you react?
27. Closed Doors: What’s behind the door? Why is it closed?
28. Shadow: Imagine you are someone’s shadow for a day.
29. Good Vibes: What makes you smile? What makes you happy?
30. Shopping: Write about your shopping wishlist and how you like to spend money.
31. The Professor: Write about a teacher that has influenced you.
32. Rewrite a Poem: Take any poem or short story you find anywhere. Rewrite it in your own words.
33. Jewelry: Write about a piece of jewelry. Who does it belong to?
34. Sounds: Sit outside for about an hour. Write down the sounds you hear.
35. War and Peace: Write about a recent conflict.
36. Frame It: Write a poem or some phrases that would make for good wall art in your home.
37. Puzzle: Write about putting together the pieces of puzzles.
38. Fire-starters: Write about building a fire.
39. Coffee & Tea: Surely you drink one or the other or know someone who does- write about it!
40. Car Keys: Write about someone getting their driver’s license for the first time.
41. What You Don’t Know: Write about a secret you’ve kept from someone else or how you feel when you know someone is keeping a secret from you.
42. Warehouse: Write about being inside an old abandoned warehouse.
43. The Sound of Silence: Write about staying quiet when you feel like shouting.
44. Insult: Write about being insulted.
45. Mirror, Mirror: What if you mirror started talking to you?
46. Dirty: Write a poem about getting covered in mud.
47. Light Switch: Write about coming out of the dark and seeing the light.
48. The Stars: Take inspiration from a night sky.
49. Joke Poem: What did the wall say to the other wall? Meet ya at the corner! Hahaha.
50. Just Say No: Write about the power you felt when you told someone no.
51: Sunrise/Sunset: It goes round and round.
52. Memory Lane: What’s it look like? How do you get there?
53. Tear-Jerker: Watch a movie that makes you cry. Write a poem about that scene in the movie.
54. Dear Diary: Write a poem or short story about a diary entry you’ve read or imagined.
55. Holding Hands: The first time you held someone’s hand.
56. Photograph: Write a story or journal entry influenced by a photograph.
57. Alarm Clock: Write about waking up.
58. Darkness: Write a poem or journal entry inspired by what you can’t see
59. Refreshed: Write a poem about a time you really felt refreshed and renewed. Maybe it was a dip into a pool on a hot summer day, a drink of lemonade, or other situation that helped you relax and start again.
60. Handle With Care: Write about a very fragile or delicate object.
61. Drama: Write about a time when you got stuck in between two parties fighting with each other.
62. Slip Up: Write about making mistakes.
63. Spice: Write about flavors and tastes or a favorite spice of yours.
64. Sing a New Song: Take a popular song off the radio and rewrite it as a poem in your own words.
65. Telephone: Write about a phone call you recently received.
66. Name: Write a poem or short story using your name in some way or form.
67. Dollhouse: Write a poem or short story from the viewpoint of someone living in a doll house.
68. Random Wikipedia Article: Go to Wikipedia and click on Random Article. Write about whatever the page you get.
69. Silly Sports: Write about an extreme or silly sport. If none inspire you, make up the rules for your own game.
70. Recipe: Write about a favorite recipe, or create a poem that is a recipe for something abstract, such as a feeling.
71. Famous Artwork: Choose a famous painting and write about it.
72. Where That Place Used to Be: Think of a place you went to when you were younger but it now no longer there or is something else. Capture your feelings about this in your writing.
73. Last Person You Talked to: Write a quick little poem or story about the last person you spoke with.
74. Caught Red-Handed: Write about being caught doing something embarrassing.
75. Interview: Write a list of questions you have for someone you would like to interview, real or fictional.
76. Missing You: Write about someone you miss dearly.
77. Geography: Pick a state or country you’ve never visited. Write about why you would or would not like to visit that place.
78. Random Song: Use the shuffle feature on your MP3 player or go to a site like 8tracks.com or Songza.com and pick a playlist. Write something inspired by the first song you hear.
79. Hero: Write a tribute to someone you regard as a hero.
80. Ode to Strangers: Go people watching and write an ode to a stranger you see on the street.
81. Advertisement: Advertisements are everywhere, aren’t they? Write using the slogan or line from an ad.
82. Book Inspired: Think of your favorite book. Now write a poem that sums up the entire story in 10 lines.
83. Magic: Imagine you have a touch of magic, and can make impossible things happen. What would you do?
84. Fanciest Pen: Get out your favorite pen, pencils, or even colored markers and write using them!
85. A Day in the Life: Write about your daily habits and routine.
86. Your Muse: Write about your muse – what does he or she look like? What does your muse do to inspire you?
87. Convenience Store: Write about an experience you’ve had at a gas station or convenience store.
88. Natural Wonders of the World: Choose one of the natural wonders of the world. Write about it.
89. Facebook or Twitter Status: Write a poem using the words from your latest status update or a friend’s status update. If you don’t use Facebook or Twitter, you can often search online for some funny ones to use as inspiration.
90. Green Thumb: Write about growing something.
91. Family Heirloom: Write about an object that’s been passed through the generations in your family.
92. Bug Catcher: Write about insects.
93. Potion: Write about a magic potion. What is it made of? What does it do? What is the antidote?
94. Swinging & Sliding: Write something inspired by a playground or treehouse.
95. Adjectives: Make a list of the first 5 adjectives that pop into your head. Use these 5 words in your story, poem, or journal entry.
96. Fairy Tales: Rewrite a fairy tale. Give it a new ending or make it modern or write as a poem.
97. Whispers: Write about someone who has to whisper a secret to someone else.
98. Smile: Write a poem about the things that make you smile.
99. Seasonal: Write about your favorite season.
100. Normal: What does normal mean to you? Is it good or bad to be normal?
101. Recycle: Take something you’ve written in the past and rewrite it into a completely different piece.
102. Wardrobe: Write about a fashion model or what’s currently in your closet or drawers.
103. Secret Message: Write something with a secret message hidden in between the words. For example, you could make an acrostic poem using the last letters of the word or use secret code words in the poem.
104. Vacation: Write about a vacation you took.
105. Heat: Write about being overheated and sweltering.
106. Spellbinding: Write a magic spell.
107. Puzzles: Write about doing a puzzle – jigsaw, crossword, suduko, etc.
108. Taking Chances: Everyone takes a risk at some point in their life. Write about a time when you took a chance and what the result was.
109. Carnival: Write a poem or story or journal entry inspired by a carnival or street fair.
110. Country Mouse: Write about someone who grew up in the country visiting the city for the first time.
111: Questions: Write about questions you have for the universe. Optional: include an answer key.
112. Rushing: Write about moving quickly and doing things fast.
113. Staircase: Use a photo of a staircase or the stairs in your home or a building you love to inspire you.
114. Neighbors: Make up a story or poem about your next door neighbor.
115. Black and Blue: Write about a time you’ve been physically hurt.
116. All Saints: Choose a saint and create a poem about his or her life.
117. Beach Inspired: What’s not to write about the beach?
118. Shoes: What kind of shoes do you wear? Where do they lead your feet?
119. The Ex: Write a poem to someone who is estranged from you.
120. My Point of View: Write in the first person point of view.
121. Stray Animal: Think of the life of a stray cat or dog and write about that.
122. Stop and Stare: Create a poem or story about something you could watch forever.
123. Your Bed: Describe where you sleep each night.
124. Fireworks: Do they inspire you or do you not like the noise and commotion? Write about it.
125. Frozen: Write about a moment in your life you wish you could freeze and preserve.
126. Alone: Do you like to be alone or do you like having company?
127. Know-it-all: Write about something you are very knowledgeable about, for example a favorite hobby or passion of yours.
128. The Promise: Write about a promise you’ve made to someone. Did you keep that promise?
129. Commotion: Write about being overstimulated by a lot of chaos.
130. Read the News Today: Construct a poem or story using a news headline for your first line.
131. Macro: Write a description of an object close-up.
132. Transportation: Write about taking your favorite (or least-favorite) form of transportation.
133. Gadgets: If you could invent a gadget, what would it do? Are there any gadgets that make your life easier?
134: Bring on the Cheese: Write a tacky love poem that is so cheesy, it belongs on top of a pizza.
135. Ladders: Write a story or poem that uses ladders as a symbol.136. Bizarre Holiday: There is a bizarre holiday for any date! Look up a holiday for today’s date and create a poem in greeting card fashion or write a short story about the holiday to celebrate.
137. Blog-o-sphere: Visit your favorite blog or your feedreader and craft a story, journal entry, or poem based on the latest blog post you read.
138. Mailbox: Create a poem, short story, or journal entry based on a recent item of mail you’ve received.
139. Sharing: Write about sharing something with someone else.
140. Cactus: Write from the viewpoint of a cactus – what’s it like to live in the dessert or have a “prickly personality”?
141. It’s a Sign: Have you seen any interesting road signs lately?
142. Furniture: Write about a piece of furniture in your home.
143. Failure: Write about a time you failed at something. Did you try again or give up completely?
144. Mystical Creatures: Angels or other mystical creatures – use them as inspiration.
145. Flying: Write about having wings and what you would do.
146. Clear and Transparent: Write a poem about being able to see-through something.
147. Break the Silence: Record yourself speaking, then write down what you spoke and revise into a short story or poem.
148. Beat: Listen to music with a strong rhythm or listen to drum loops. Write something that goes along with the beat you feel and hear.
149. Color Palette: Search online for color palettes and be inspired to write by one you resonate with.
150. Magazine: Randomly flip to a page in a magazine and write using the first few words you see as an opening line.
151. The Grass is Greener: Write about switching the place with someone or going to where it seems the “grass is greener”.
152. Mind & Body: Write something that would motivate others to workout and exercise.
153. Shaping Up: Write something that makes a shape on the page…ie: a circle, a heart, a square, etc.
154. Twenty-One: Write about your 21st birthday.
155. Aromatherapy: Write about scents you just absolutely love.
156. Swish, Buzz, Pop: Create a poem that uses Onomatopoeia.
157. What Time is It? Write about the time of day it is right now. What are people doing? What do you usually do at this time each day?
158. Party Animal: Have you ever gone to a party you didn’t want to leave? Or do you hate parties? Write about it!
159: Miss Manners: Write using the words “please” and “thank you”.
160. Cliche: Choose a common cliche, then write something that says the same thing but without using the catch phrase.
161. Eco-friendly: Write about going green or an environmental concern you have.
162. Missing You: Write about someone you miss.
163. Set it Free: Think of a time when you had to let someone or something go to be free…did they come back?
164: Left Out: Write about a time when you’ve felt left out or you’ve noticed someone else feeling as if they didn’t belong.
165. Suitcase: Write about packing for a trip or unpacking from when you arrive home.
166. Fantasy: Write about fairies, gnomes, elves, or other mythical creatures.
167. Give and Receive: Write about giving and receiving.
168. Baker’s Dozen: Imagine the scents and sights of a bakery and write.
169. Treehouse: Write about your own secret treehouse hideaway.
170. Risk: Write about taking a gamble on something.
171. Acrostic: Choose a word and write an acrostic poem where every line starts with a letter from the word.
172. Crossword Puzzle: Open up the newspaper or find a crossword puzzle online and choose one of the clues to use as inspiration for your writing.
173. Silver Lining: Write about the good that happens in a bad situation.
174. Gloves: Write about a pair of gloves – what kind of gloves are they? Who wears them and why?
175. All that Glitters: Write about a shiny object.
176. Jealousy: Write with a theme of envy and jealousy.
177. How Does Your Garden Grow? Write about a flower that grows in an unusual place.
178. Jury Duty: Write a short story or poem that takes place in a courtroom.
179. Gifts: Write about a gift you have given or received.
180. Running: Write about running away from someone or something.
181. Discovery: Think of something you’ve recently discovered and use it as inspiration.
182. Complain: Write about your complaints about something.
183. Gratitude: Write a poem or journal entry that is all about things you are thankful for.
184. Chemistry: Choose an element and write a poem or story that uses that word in one of the lines.
185. Applause: Write about giving someone a standing ovation.
186. Old Endings Into New Beginnings: Take an old poem, story, or journal entry of yours and use the last line and make it the first line of your writing today.
187. Longing: Write about something you very much want to do.
188. I Am: Write a motivational poem or journal entry about positive traits that make you who you are.
189. Rainbow: What is at the end of a rainbow?
190. Museum: Take some time to visit a nearby museum with your journal. Write about one of the pieces that speaks to you.
191. Cartoon: Think of your favorite cartoon or comic. Write a poem or story that takes place in that setting.
192. Copycat: Borrow a line from a famous public domain poem to craft your own.
193. From the Roof-tops: Imagine you could stand on a rooftop and broadcast a message to everyone below – what would you say?
194. Time Travel: If there was a time period you could visit for a day, where would you go? Write about traveling back in time to that day.
195. Changing Places: Imagine living the day as someone else.
196. Neighborhood: Write about your favorite place in your neighborhood to visit and hang out at.
197. Pirates: Write about a pirate ship.
198. Interview: Write based on a recent interview you’ve read or seen on TV or heard on the radio.
199. Hiding Spaces: Write about places you like to hide things at. What was a favorite hiding spot for you as a child playing hide-and-seek?
200. Extreme Makeover: Imagine how life might be different if you could change your hair color or clothing into something completely opposite from your current style.
201. Empathy: Write about your feelings of empathy or compassion for another person.
202. Opposites: Write a poem or story that ties in together two opposites.
203. Boredom: Write about being bored or make a list of different ways to entertain yourself.
204. Strength: Think of a time when you’ve been physically or emotionally strong and use that as inspiration.
205. Hunger: Write from the perspective of someone with no money to buy food.
206. Greed: Write about someone who always wants more – whether it be money, power, etc. etc.
207. Volcano: Write about an eruption of a volcano.
208. Video Inspiration: Go to Vimeo.com or YouTube.com and watch one of the videos featured on the homepage. Write something inspired by what you see.
209. Sneeze: Write about things that make you sneeze.
210. Footsteps on the Moon: Write about the possibility of life in outer-space.
211: Star-crossed: Write a short modern version of the story of Romeo and Juliet or think of real-life examples to use as inspiration for your writing.
212. Font-tastic: Choose a unique font and type out a poem using that font.
213. Schedule: Take a look at your calendar and use the schedule for inspiration in writing.
214. Grandparents: Write about a moment in your grandparent’s life.
215. Collage: Go through a magazine and cut out words that grab your attention. Use these words to construct a poem or as a story starter or inspiration for your journal.
216. Oh so Lonely: Write a poem about what you do when you are alone – do you feel lonely or do you enjoy your own company?
217. Waterfall: Think of a waterfall you’ve seen in person or spend some time browsing photos of waterfalls online. Write about the movement, flow, and energy.
218. First Kiss: Write about your first kiss.
219. So Ironic: Write about an ironic situation you’ve been in throughout your life.
220. Limerick: Write a limerick today.
221. Grocery Shopping: Write about an experience at the grocery store.
222. Fashion: Go through a fashion magazine or browse fashion websites online and write about a style you love.
223. So Close: Write about coming close to reaching a goal.
224. Drinks on Me: Write a poem or short story that takes place at a bar.
225. Online Friends: Write an ode to someone online you’ve met and become friends with.
226. Admiration: Is there someone you admire? Write about those feelings.
227. Trash Day: Write from the perspective of a garbage collector.
228. Mailbox: Open your mailbox and write something inspired by one of the pieces of mail you received.
229. Fresh & Clean: Write about how you feel after you take a shower.
230. Energized: Write about how you feel when you’re either at a high or low energy level for the day.
231. Rhyme & No Reason: Make up a silly rhyming poem using made up words.
232. Tech Support: Use computers or a conversation with tech support you’ve had as inspiration.
233. Hotel: Write from the perspective of someone who works at a hotel or staying at a hotel.
234. Underwater: Write about sea creatures, and under water life.
235. Breathing: Take a few minutes to do some deep breathing relaxation techniques. Once your mind is clear, just write the first few things that you think of.
236. Liar, Liar: Make up a poem or story of complete lies about yourself or someone else.
237. Obituaries: Look at the recent obituaries online or in the newspaper and imagine the life of someone and write about that person.
238. Pocket: Rummage through your pockets and write about what you keep or find in your pockets.
239. Cinquain: Write a cinquain poem.
240. Alphabetical: Write a poem that has every letter of the alphabet in it.
241. Comedy Club: Write something inspired by a comedian.
242. Cheater: Write about someone who is unfaithful.
243. Sestina: Give a try to writing a sestina poem.
244. Fight: Write about witnessing two people get in an argument with each other.
245. Social Network: Visit your favorite Social Networking website (ie: Facebook, Pinterest, Google, Twitter, etc.) and write a about a post you see there.
246. Peaceful: Write about something peaceful and serene.
247. In the Clouds: Go cloud watching for the day and write about what you imagine in the clouds.
248. At the Park: Take some time to sit on a park bench and write about the sights, scenes, and senses and emotions you experience.
249. Sonnet: Write a sonnet today.
250. Should, Would, And Could: Write a poem or story using the words should, would, and could.
251. How to: Write a poem that gives directions on how to do something.
252. Alliteration: Use alliteration in your poem or in a sentence in a story.
253. Poker Face: Write about playing a card game.
254. Timer: Set a timer for 5 minutes and just write. Don’t worry about it making sense or being perfect.
255. Dance: Write about a dancer or a time you remember dancing.
256. Write for a Cause: Write a poem or essay that raises awareness for a cause you support.
257. Magic: Write about a magician or magic trick.
258. Out of the Box: Imagine finding a box. Write about opening it and what’s inside.
259. Under the Influence: What is something has impacted you positively in your life?
260. Forgotten Toy: Write from the perspective a forgotten or lost toy.
261. Rocks and Gems: Write about a rock or gemstone meaning.
262. Remote Control: Imagine you can fast forward and rewind your life with a remote control.
263. Symbolism: Think of objects, animals, etc. that have symbolic meaning to you. Write about it.
264. Light at the End of the Tunnel: Write about a time when you saw hope when it seemed like a hopeless situation.
265. Smoke and Fire: Write inspired by the saying “where there’s smoke, there’s fire”.
266. Railroad: Write about a train and its cargo or passengers.
267. Clipboard: Write about words you imagine on an office clipboard.268. Shipwrecked: Write about being stranded somewhere – an island, a bus stop, etc.
269. Quotable: Use a popular quote from a speaker and use it as inspiration for your writing.
270. Map it Out: Create a mind map of words, phrases, and ideas that pop into your head or spend some time browsing the many mind maps online. Write a poem, story, or journal entry inspired by the mind map.
271. Patterns: Write about repeating patterns that occur in life.
272. Scrapbook: Write about finding a scrapbook and the memories it contains.
273. Cure: Write about finding a cure for an illness.
274. Email Subject Lines: Read your email today and look for subject lines that may be good starters for writing inspiration.
275. Wishful Thinking: Write about a wish you have.
276. Doodle: Spend some time today doodling for about 5-10 minutes. Write about the thoughts you had while doodling or inspired by your finished doodle.
277. Chalkboard: Imagine you are in a classroom. What does it say on the chalkboard?
278. Sticky: Imagine a situation that’s very sticky (ie: maple syrup or tape or glue) – and write about it.
279. Flashlight: Imagine going somewhere very dark with only a flashlight to guide you.
280. A Far Away Place: Envision yourself traveling to a fictional place, what do you experience in your imaginary journey?
281. On the Farm: Write about being in a country or rural setting.
282. Promise to Yourself: Write about a promise you want to make to yourself and keep.
283. Brick Wall: Write a poem that is about a brick wall – whether literally or figuratively.
284. Making a Choice: Write about a time when you had to make a difficult choice.
285. Repeat: Write about a time when you’ve had to repeat yourself or a time when it felt like no one was listening.
286. Outcast: Write about someone who is not accepted by their peers. (for example, the Ugly Ducking)
287. Scary Monsters: Write about a scary (or not-so-scary) monster in your closet or under the bed.
288. Sacrifice: Write about something you’ve sacrificed doing to do something else or help another person.
289. Imperfection: Create a poem that highlights the beauty in being flawed.
290. Birthday Poem: Write a poem inspired by birthdays.
291. Title First: Make a list of potential poem or story titles and choose one to write from.
292. Job Interview: Write about going on a job interview.
293. Get Well: Write a poem that will help someone who is sick feel better quick!
294. Lost in the Crowd: Write about feeling lost in the in the crowd.
295. Apple a Day: Write about health.
296. Cravings: Write about craving something.
297. Phobia: Research some common phobias, choose one, and write about it.
298. In the Moment: Write about living in the present moment.
299. Concrete: Write about walking down a sidewalk and what you see and experience.
300. Stars: Write about the stars in the sky and what they mean to you.
301. This Old House: Write about an old house that is abandoned or being renovated.
302. Clutter: Is there a cluttered spot in your home? Go through some of that clutter today and write about what you find or the process of organizing.
303. Go Fly a Kite: Write about flying a kite.
304. On the TV: Flip to a random TV channel and write about the first thing that comes on – even if it’s an infomercial!
305. Fruit: Write a poem that is an ode to a fruit.
306. Long Distance Love: Write about a couple that is separated by distance.
307. Glasses: Write about a pair of eyeglasses or someone wearing glasses.
308. Robotic: Write about a robot.
309. Cute as a Button: Write about something you think is just adorable.
310. Movie Conversation: Use a memorable conversation from a favorite movie to inspire your writing.
311. Easy-Peasy: Write about doing something effortlessly.
312. Idiom: Choose from a list of idioms one that speaks to you and create a poem around that saying or phrase. (Ie: It’s raining cats and dogs)
313. Playground: Whether it’s the swings or the sandbox or the sliding boards, write about your memories of being on a playground.
314. Romance: Write about romantic things partners can do for each other.
315. Rock Star: Imagine you are a famous rock star. Write about the experience.
316. Come to Life: Imagine ordinary objects have come to life. Write about what they do and say.
317. Airplane: Write about meeting someone on an airplane and a conversation you might have.
318. Health & Beauty: Take some time to peruse your medicine cabinet or the health and beauty aisles at a local store. Write a poem, short story, or journal entry inspired by a product label.
319. Determination: Write about not giving up.
320. Instrumental Inspiration: Listen to some instrumental music and write a poem that matches the mood, beat, and style of the music.
321. Wait Your Turn: Write about having to wait in line.
322. Personality Type: Do you know your personality type? (There are many free quizzes online) – write about what type of personality traits you have.
323. Decade: Choose a favorite decade and write about it. (IE: 1980’s or 1950’s for example)
324. I Believe: Write your personal credo of things you believe in.
325. Lost and Found: Write about a lost object.
326. Say it: Write a poem or story that uses dialogue between two people.
327. The Unsent Letter: Write about a letter that never made it to its recipient.
328. The Windows of the Soul: Write a poem about the story that is told through someone’s eyes.
329. Trial and Error: Write about something you learned the hard way.
330. Escape: Write about where you like to go to escape from it all.
331. Recipe: Write something inspired a favorite recipe.
332. Records: Go through your file box and pull out old receipts or records…write something inspired by what you find!
333. Banking: Write about visiting the bank.
334. Sweet Talk: Write about trying to convince someone of something.
335. Serendipity: Write about something that happened by chance in a positive way.
336. Distractions: Write about how it feels when you can’t focus.
337. Corporation: Write about big business.
338. Word of the Day: Go to a website that has a word of the day and use it in a poem, story or journal entry you write.
339. Pick Me Up: What do you do when you need a pick me up?
340. Unfinished: Write about a project you started but never completed.
341. Forgiveness: Write about a time when someone forgave you or you forgave someone.
342. Weakness: Write about your greatest weakness.
343. Starting: Write about starting a project.
344. Mechanical: Think of gears,moving parts, machines.
345. Random Act of Kindness: Write about a random act of kindness you’ve done for someone or someone has done for you, no matter how small or insignificant it may have seemed.
346. Underground: Imagine living in a home underground and use that as inspiration for writing.
347. Classic Rock: Pick a classic rock love ballad and rewrite it into a story or poem with a similar theme.
348. Night Owl: Write about staying up late at night.
349. Magnetic: Write about attraction to something or someone.
350. Teamwork: Write about working with a team towards a common goal.
351. Roller-coaster: Write about the ups and downs in life.
352. Motivational Poster: Look at some motivational posters online and write a poem or journal entry inspired by your favorite one.
353. Games: Write about the games people play – figuratively or literally.
354. Turning Point: Write about a point in life where things turned for the better or worse.
355. Spellbound: Write about a witch’s spell.
356. Anniversary: Write about the anniversary of a special date.
357. Gamble: Be inspired by a casino or lottery ticket.
358. Picnic: Write about going on a picnic.
359. Garage: Write about some random item you might find in a garage.
360. Review: Review your week, month, or year in a journal entry or poem format.
361. Detective: Write about a detective searching for clues or solving a mystery.
362. Camera: Take your camera for a walk and write based on one of the photographs you take.
363. Visiting: Write about visiting a family member or friend.
364. Trust: Writ about putting trust in someone.
365. Congratulations: Did you write a poem, short story, or journal entry every day for a whole year? Write about what you’ve learned and that celebrates your achievement!
Ah you're like, a real writer ^.^ I love your journal and your thoughts~
Dhamma wrote: "Ah you're like, a real writer ^.^ I love your journal and your thoughts~"Yeah I am. A terrible one but I've got time to grow and get better. Thanks though!
I haven't wrote in awhile. I think I'm going to try using those prompts to get me in the writing mood
I'll start with number 343.It all begins with a simple idea, just a single thought. You don't know where it's going yet. You only know that it's something your forming plans for. And your scared that you might give up or that it might not be good enough, that you could be wasting your time when you could be doing move. You do it anyway despite your fears and doubts for it. You want it to improve. You've hardly started and you're already looking for improvement. You see yourself wanting more, longing for more from it. What more is there, You find yourself wondering. This idea came to you and now that you've started you don't want to give up. Not again. This was the start of it, don't let it be the end too. The question you should ask yourself is, where to next?
That was random and bad, but it was a start. Heh, funny start. :D
Number 325:I thought you were lost,
Thought I'd never see you again.
You were my beginning, the start of my journey.
How was I supposed to be prepared to let you go?
And now that you're back, I don't need you.
Now that you're back, I don't want you.
You bring memories and nostalgia,
I don't want to feel it.
I thought that I did,
I thought it would matter,
I thought that I needed it,
But it turns out I didn't.
You have torn put pages I'll never remember,
And the things kept inside,
Songs from my broken age.
Will they teach me how to sing, once again, as I am now?
308.It all started out as a joke, you know?
He just popped in my mind one day,
Easily created.
That was before we became friends.
Robo is what I called him,
Everyone loved him.
He wanted all his new friends to stay his friends,
He was so excited.
He could play,
He could laugh.
He was a joke,
And I never thought it wouldn't last.
He wanted to know everything,
The world was new to him.
I tried to explain it all,
And he listened with eager ears.
Until one day,
My old friend came back.
At first it was fine,
Until I got controlled.
Depression was their name.
Robo and Depression didn't get along,
And so along with a young girl's imagination,
Robo vanished.
364.You should be able to trust your family, right? Their the people you love. Shouldn't that be enough to trust? It's not. Not after you lost it. How are you ever supposed to get it back? Shouldn't their love be enough to replace the misplace of trust? It's not. Why can't it be enough? Is there anything that can replace all this mistrust? Forgiveness, you say? Usually I'd agree. This time I cannot. Because how can you forgive someone after a second time of repeating the same mistake, how? You can't. Not for a long time. Care to disagree?
75.How are you today?
What were you thinking about that day you were staring off into space with a frown when my friend asked if anything was wrong?
What's your favorite number?
Favorite basketball team?
How long have you been playing basketball?
When's your birthday? Zodiac sign?
Have you only ever went to school in this district?
How many times have you moved in your life, if any?
Whose your best friend? Why? How long have you know them?
What are you doing during the summer?
Which two books out of the Summer homework are you reading?
What other book will you be choosing?
What's your favorite subject in school?
What's your favorite video game?
Favorite food?
329.I learned I don't love him,
I couldn't possibly ever truly love him.
I learned I need to ignore this feeling,
It's simply just a complicated distraction.
I learned that feelings can lie,
That hearts can break without being touched.
I learned that feelings don't end,
You can still blindly be in love and know it.
I learned that love hurts,
The idea of it anyways.
I've learned I'm a hopeless romantic,
But I love you anyways.
336.My head is a mess.
Words won't come out,
Until I tip over the ink.
Let it spill out.
And I've been wasting time,
Thinking about you, for you.
And I've been wasting time,
Writing love poems about you, for you.
This is what they call blindly loving,
And now that I know it,
Shouldn't this be over?
Shouldn't I be over you?
Oh, why ain't I over you?
Can't I just hurry up,
Make this quick,
I want to be over you.
12.Hello.
Thoughts are all on you.
Hello.
What a star you are.
Hello.
You've grown so high.
Hello.
Look at all this fame.
Hello.
And you don't even know it.
Hello.
Wondering how you'd feel if you knew it.
Hello.
It's not even over.
Hello.
Damn it, I wish this was over.
Hello.
Can you end your show?
Hello.
Is it over now?
Stared at you.No longer cared.
Watched you leave,
Before I left too.
Maybe that was goodbye,
Maybe that was all it was.
Maybe you were a lesson,
Maybe I should have learned.
And maybe it is over,
And maybe there wasn't supposed to be anything more.
And maybe I'll get over this,
And maybe I'll finally understand
Hello writers! Any writer who wants to join this writer discord chat to communicate with other writer can join at this link: https://discord.gg/WffgzWg
Can I tell you a secret? No. Can I tell you the truth in the form of a lie? I'm going to be honest, you might not want to hear this. Or read this. Or whatever your way of knowing this is. I hate myself more than I've bothered to try to love myself, and I think you're selfish. You love yourself and other people love you and I love you and that's not very fair. Have you ever thought about the impact you can put on someone? Do you ever think about how your words can hurt people or make them feel good? Did you think about if someone was listening to you talk crap about them? Did you ever think that person could possibly fall in love with you. My guess is, no. You didn't think about it too hard ir too long. You just did. Do you understand how my brain works? No, you don't. Perhaps you understand how the human brain works but you don't understand mind. You act like you know everything, you don't. And I bet thst you know that you don't too. What are you thinking? Honestly, I still want to know because here is a message of things you'll never know and you'll probably never think about:You put on an-
TIMES UP!! 12:00-12:10
Sometimes I think about thinking. Have you ever thought about thinking? If not, I think it's something you've got to try. Because thinking, well, just think about it. There is a saying, perhaps you've heard it? "Two great minds think alike." But what about the minds that don't think alike. Does that make them not great? What about the minds that dare to make a difference that nobody has ever thought about but have been needed for years? What about the stereotypes? Have you heard of them? I'm sure you have. What about those? Two people who believe in nothing but stereotypes, does that make them great together? No! It doesn't. Yes it's a good phrase ir quote when the time is right and the circumstances are good. Meanings can change depending on it's time and what's happening! It doesn't have to be "good" or "bad" to mean something. Thinking is weird. Strange. Beautiful and ugly. Thoughts can be scary and they can be fearless. Thoughts can be stupid or nothing ir everything. Think. Think. Think? Yes.
Don't over think because that isn't wise but think about thinks. Give things a chance to be thought qbout. Don't just believe what others tell you, gather your own thoughts. Fir if you belueved in whatecer sime saud than you would be noyhing but a copy.
YOU'RE AN ORIGINAL SO DON'T LOSE TH
AND END!!! 12:13- 12:23
How could you look us in the eye,telling us this month we will have to starve,
and it's all your fault?
How could you ask for forgiveness,
when you don't look sorry?
How could you watch us cry,
and not shed a single tear?
How can you laugh,
and smile,
and talk,
like nothing's changed?
How can you tell us you love us,
after screwing us over,
for the second time?
How can you fight and argue still,
about how you're a good person?
How can you live with your thieving self,
while I struggle to love myself?
How could you allow us,
to blame someone else?
How could you watch your little sister,
be so angry?
How could you look at your mom,
and try to console her?
How could you ruin everything,
so that the one person who stood up for you,
who believed in you,
finally gave up?
How could you make me trust you,
just so you could let us down,
Again?
How could you be so selfish?
I feel like I'm about to snap,Some day real soon,
And that these past few weeks have just been the set up.
I feel like I'm about to cry,
For a very long time,
And that I'll slowly be suffocating, once again.
I feel like I'm about to fall,
Back down into my pit of depression,
And that I may not come out.
I don't remember when but at some point,I stopped wishing on stars.
And I don't remember when but at some point,
I stopped blinking so much.
AND ALSO, Also I don't remember when but at some point,
I stopped loving my own company.
~to be continued one day maybe~
A Lost Cause
She slipped sooner than she thought she would, sooner than she thought she could. It was quite a disappointment. She figured anyone who knew her would feel that way. She wouldn't blame them, she couldn't blame them. Nobody was there to reach out a hand, to stop her, to catch her, and so she fell. Of course her little wonderfully destructive mind would still grasp onto her imagination and thought that maybe falling would be like how it was in Alice In Wonderland, giving her a chance to see a new world. In a way, she was right. Only this 'new' world was nothing like she thought it'd be. It was dark, so very dark. Nothing could be seen. And it was quiet and lonely and it made her feel like she was nothing. Only sometimes it decided not to be quiet and it would scream, and on those days she felt like she was everything. She wasn't afraid of the dark for long because it seemed so easy to talk to, so easy to find comfort in, so easy to call a friend. She was a lost cause, defeated by depression long before she knew it was a battle she'd been fighting.
Unwanted Love
She fell in love, not expecting, never expecting. She never saw herself as the type of person to crush on a person and so when she found out how she was feeling she automatically wanted to turn it off, to shut it down. Soon enough she learned she couldn't and so she loved him. She let herself fall for him until the end of the year when she realized that her feelings had lied to her. Her feelings had lied. She didn't know they could do that. And even now, she is stuck with unwanted love.
Don't Tell Me to Smile
Don't tell me to smile,
as if my face is just there for your viewing pleasure,
as if I have to force happiness upon myself,
as if simply doing the action will allow me to feel safe.
Don't tell me to smile,
because my smiles are true,
because my smiles need to be pure,
because my real smiles are rare.
Don't tell me to smile,
as if my depression isn't there,
as if my mind isn't a battle between sadness and anger,
as if it doesn't hurt to have to force one on my face.
Please, don't tell me to smile,
because it'll be my only thought after you say it,
because the hatred I feel for myself will multiply,
because sometimes I fear it.
Dabbling With WordsThey were thriving on self destruction. Destroying for no purpose except for hate, self hate. They were villains, but only to themselves. They were self absorbed. They knew that their family loved them and yet that wasn't enough. They wanted more, so much more. They wanted to succeed because they were tired of feeling stuck. And yet it wasn't their house they hated, it wasn't they people from which they were raised that they hated, it was themselves. Why?
You'll probably never know these strange feelings I’ve felt for you and I'll probably never try to explain them to you or become even close to telling you because I'll never believe in love and if I hate myself, what if you're able to hate me too?You'll probably never know how many hours I think about you, how you're always one of the thoughts on my mind and I'll probably never tell you how you make my heart beat so fast, or how your the reason I know what butterflies feel like.
You'll probably never know how beautiful you are, how your laugh was able to guide me and I'll probably never tell you how you were like a rope and I held on so tightly, in fear of falling.
You'll probably never know how you gave me optimism and showed me it was real and I'll probably never tell you how you were able to convert me into my energetic self, even for a short time, to stop depression from claiming me.
You'll probably never know how you stopped me from crying and getting worse, how you were the line who told me to breathe without forcing the words out of your mouth and I'll probably never tell you how I was always scared that because you saw my flaws you already hated me, scared that you only went because you felt forced.
You'll probably never know how I loved you and I'll probably never tell you because I found out a little late myself.
I love you, I love you not,
I love you,
I love you not.
The imaginary petals
of the imaginary flower are
all gone now.
It wasn't you I loved, I've now realized,
It was you I admired.
I loved your confidence, your laughter,
that you could just be you for you.
It wasn't you I've loved, I've now concluded,
It was you I strived to be like.
I loved how you were so chill,
how you could goof off and still understand everything just fine.
It wasn't you I loved,
It was just parts of you,
and someone else who I'd missed all the signs for
Incomplete:I was the girl who lived in her own head,
the poet who built her own palaces,
the writer who grew her own fairy tales.
She didn't know how to explain the uncertainties in her head or the restless nights she had where she would think about them with regret. Regret and sorrow, always so much sorrow. And so she didn't. She would put it off every day until she'd finally convince herself to respond because she couldn't take being alone with her thoughts anymore. Of course she was never actually alone with her thoughts as she had people who would listen to them if only she'd speak up, but she didn't know how or what to say and she was scared. She was always scared, too. They didn't mind that it took her time to respond, they never really did mind. They were always so patient, so kind. But as time would move on she'd see a clock ticking back and forth. It was always her and time or was she just with time or was she against it. There really wasn't a way of knowing. And she would feel the impatience growing and the disappointment of every apology written. She didn't know how to tell them that with each respond, it felt harder to breathe. She was a writer and this wasn't that much different. If she was a writer, how could she not do this? How could she even consider letting go? So she would create life after life and take the ones that she felt like she could take and she did too much. She always did too much. She took too much. Why? She already knew she was struggling, so why would she do this to herself? Why would she place guilt and regret and so much hurt on her shoulders? Why burden herself if not wanting to handle the burden? Why hold on to something that feels like it's killing her? Here's the truth: she's obsessed. They give her the good days, they distracted her when they used to yell, they reminded her it was okay to breathe, they gave her hope, they gave her a future, and they took it all. They gave it all and they hold it in the palm of their hands and if she stops they'll crush it and she'll be destroyed and ruined and she'll grieve for herself, for a girl she never knew. She us obsessed with doing everything and cannot let go. She panics every time she posts. Sometimes she gets a rush from each post. She doesn't want to let go. She doesn't want to say goodbye. She can't do it. She's not strong enough to walk away from the once familiar lines that now turn into shreds of panic and fear and the itch for perfection. She craves to stay like she craves to be perfect, an unhealthy obsession. Her mental health is crumbling and yet still she fights to stay with lies and broken promises of how she is trying. Trying would be taking a break or walking away completely. Trying is not writing prose about how breathing is hard and then not doing a damn thing about it.
Me reading this journal:
Your writing is amazing. You're just so amazing✨
May͛a [semi-hiatus] wrote: "Me reading this journal:Your writing is amazing. You're just so amazing✨"
Me reading your comment: *Crying* Ahhh thank you thank thank you. You literally just made my ego go whoooooo alkazammm. And awe thank you!!!! You're amazing too!!!!!
Lillian wrote: "May͛a [semi-hiatus] wrote: "Me reading this journal:Your writing is amazing. You're just so amazing✨"
Me stalking this journal: SHERLOCK!!!"
Me reading your comment: But that's John Watson. Oh wait. *faceplams*
Okay but me if only I was a stalker of this journal so same XD
Forgive yourself. Forgive yourself because you're still here and alive and despite the dark twist that your thoughts like to turn on like some alleyway you're still trying.
Forgive yourself because although it was a selfish action in a moment you were desperate to feel pain, you have the decency to feel sorry and guilty.
Forgive yourself because you're giving us hopes of change and reassurances that you'll be okay, even if you don't quite believe it yourself.
Forgive yourself for the lonely poems and the suicidal thoughts and the goodbye letters nobody will ever read.
Forgive yourself for the jokes about death you make and when you're mother tells you that you don't actually want to die your sad smile you gave her that she didn't bother to see.
Forgive yourself for the 'anxious' scratches you left on your neck, on your arms, on your legs.
Forgive yourself for the nights you don't want to fall asleep because you want to torture your mind with reasons to stay awake.
Forgive yourself for the hours you stared yourself in the mirror and felt like throwing up because you didn't believe you should be here.
Forgive yourself for all the negative thoughts and the nauseous stomached and the pounding headaches.
Forgive yourself for being afraid of not making it through all of this.
Forgive yourself for not wanting help.
Please, forgive me.
I don't think I want to be a mystery. I don't want there to be lots of clues and to questions to who I am or why I do what I do. I don't think I want to be a mystery because I've never been a fan of the unknown and the never knows and I don't want to be anything else I don't like.
I don't want to be a mystery because I can see you trying to solve me and I can't be solved, that's not just a negative thought, it's the truth, and I'm sorry.
I don't want to be a mystery because I'm not sure what kind of mystery I'd be and I'm not so sure that either of us actually wants to know.
I don't want to be a mystery because that'll just bring more questions and I'm so sick of all of these questions.
I don't want to be a mystery because my a mess and mysteries are endless and you don't deserve my pain.
I don't want to be a mystery but you see all of my mysterious aspects and you'll find me alluring and I'm afraid of disappointing you.
I don't want to be a mystery because mysteries tend to keep me up at night and I'm so dreadfully tired.
I don't want to be a mystery, but aren't we all?
Please don't break my heart. I will give out thousands of warnings and millions of apologies, and despite the ones I've already gave, you say you'll stick by my side. You say you want to help me love myself. You haven't even asked me for the reasons that I hate myself and I don't think I'll ever be able to tell you how grateful I am for that, for you. Please don't break my heart because I've given it to you way too easily. I've given you more of me than I have most people and for reasons that aren't even clear to me.
Please don't break my heart because I can't promise you that I'll ever be okay again or that I'll be able to handle the process of heartbreak or that I'll be able to just move on because I'm dedicating so much of my life to you.
Please don't break my heart because it won't stop me from writing more and more about you, it won't take away the late night poetry that revolves all around you.
Please don't break my heart because I'm not so sure I'll catch myself before I fall and I'll stumble down a cliff and I don't want to become so dependent on you that I can't stand on my own.
Please don't break my heart, but if you have to, please remind me to stay strong.
Please don't fall in love with me. I am a mess. An unorganized yet stacked up mess of broken stars, clocks that tell more than time, and shaking hands. A cold hearted selfish liar, a selfless self love ranter, a suicidal bomb with a trigger, a mermaid with the fear of drowning, a lyricist without a tune, a paradox of all things that aren't true.
Please don't fall in love with me.
I am broken. Not just negative but broken. I am not a window but a glass ball without any self control. I am not a dark cloud, I am an entire storm. I am not a fire, I'm the effects of a forest fire. I am not a cast, I'm the rope in which you want to hang yourself upon. I am not a lover of the sky but a hater of things that can't fly. I am not hope, I'm just the vibe. I'm not home, just a trigger. I'm not the reassurance you need, just the ambitious writer with a dream to succeed.
Please don't fall in love with me.
I am everything. And nothing. And whatever lies in between that. You are just a person here to witness my greatness. You will see that I'm a bird who can't fly. You will see that I'm a goal without any achievements. You will see that I'm everything I want to be but no where will it get me. You will see that I'll wander a lot and that I really, really am lost. You will see that I'm imperfect and I'll treat you like you don't matter.
Please don't fall in love with me.
I am paranoid. I will doubt you every single time you say you love me. I will doubt if you are even real because maybe my brain just imagined you. I will doubt if you care. I will doubt if you really stayed by my side the entire night or if you got out of bed because you couldn't sleep. I will doubt if you ever sleep. I will doubt myself. I will doubt my entire existence and yours and I'll doubt the entire world, and I'll do more than question the world.
Please don't fall in love with me.
I am crazy. No, not just in the weird, exotic way. Not just quirky. Crazy as in I could totally end up being a mass murder and nobody would really be surprised. Crazy as in I should get carried out of this place in a strait jacket and be put in a mental institution. Crazy as in I've tortured my mind every single day because I'm afraid of being tortured. Crazy as in I feel like I'm suffocating. Crazy as in I don't feel safe inside my mind or my home or even as I imagine being with you. Crazy as in I fear the upcoming insanity. Crazy as in the I WANT TO DO EVERYTHING thoughts have the potential to kill me and I could possibly drag you along with me.
Please don't fall in love with me.
Please don't fall in love with me, but if you do, I'm sorry.
(view spoiler)
Erin wrote: "267. Clipboard: Write about words you imagine on an office clipboard.268. Shipwrecked: Write about being stranded somewhere – an island, a bus stop, etc.
269. Quotable: Use a popular quote from ..."
Awe I kinda wish I started this at the beginning of this year :(
List of Reasons I Hate Myself:
- too negative
- isn't perfect
- let's anxiety get the best of me too often
- hits too hard during jokes
- hates self
- suicidal
- for every self harm thought
- for not trying hard enough to keep friends
- for fighting her sleep medicine
- for not being asleep
- for being selfish
- for being a coward
- for falling in love too easily
- for making other people feel bad
- for not defending self
- for not writing Nerdy a note or joining the group but instead taking months to write a letter that'll never be finished
- for being too hard on self
- for not being thankful
- for having been born
- for not responding to roleplays and then being unable to list the reasons why
- for taking on too many roleplay characters
- for becoming addicted to roleplaying
- for every headache or migraine
- for every time someone has to worry about me
- for attempting suicide
- for missing the feeling of drowning
- for pondering everything
- for every self depreciating joke
- for watching the time
- for being paranoid
- for contributing to all of my friends depression
- for lying
- for being a hypocrite
- for writing letters that'll never be read
- for not being able to participate like everyone else
- regretting everything
- always feeling nauseous these days
- not wanting to eat
- for giving advice but never listening to any
- for not having learned an instrument or another language or having been a prodigy in anything
- for being too emotional
- for being emotionless
- for dropping out of Algebra
- for not having written a fight song for my friend even after a year has passed who I haven't had the courage to check up on
- for every thought of violence
- every wish of death
- everything I have not been able to fix
- for feeling so broken
- for wanting to cry right now
- for being depressed
- for having anxiety
- for every second spent lost
- doubting everything
-over thinking
-for talking too fast
- for always having a health issue
- for not taking care of self
- for breathing
- for sleeping too much
- for not doing Thomas Jefferson's part
- for not being normal despite thinking the fact that normal isn't a real thing that can define a singular persons personality
- drinking too much coffee and not enough water
- for stressing self out
- crying too much
- making people worry
-for doing "nothing" to help around the house
- for letting my mother make me feel like shit
- for shaking hands
- for hurting ankle even more
- too independent yet too reliant
- not being athletic at all
- not having fun in gym class
- unable to breath in gym class every day from panicking
- panics too much
- for not saying the right things
- not saying anything
- making people feel like shit
- always wanting to leave
- for not understanding things
- lack of focus
- always tired
- obnoxious af
- voice is annoying
- doesn't deserve to laugh
- doesn't deserve to feel happiness
- will never accomplish anything
- "a great mind"
- being called smart
- "the good child"
- "should be outside more"
- for taking forever to respond to messages
-over sleeping
- having so many drafts that I never even look at
- not writing more
- not being happy
-wanting to be happy
- idiotic
- runs into wall
- thinks she can actually be helpful sometimes
- never feels good enough
- way too jealous
- terrible mindset
- not very optimistic
- doesn't grab correct calculator ever
- etc
But I can never figure out why.
Why try so hard to help others,
Why pretend to be this person I'm not?
But then I realized something.
I'm not pretending, this isn't fake.
Inspiration is something I love,
Something I want to pass around.
I try hard to help others because I want to, because I love to.
Trying to be positive on days where I don't feel like it,
Isn't me faking.
It's me trying to show myself and others, things can get better.
So I don't care if you hate me for that,
Or if I'm not enough.
Because it's me,
And everything I'll ever be.